[brk43ver]

At some point I will write a proper pinned post, but here’s a quick one for now…

This is my main blog. NSFW/nsft content, including audios, will be posted on my side blog @touch-in-the-night

My photos:

[touch-in-the-night]

Miss seeing you on here. Hope you are doing okay.

Hey, thanks for the message. I've been meaning to post... an explanation or apology for disappearing and not responding to messages...

I am okay, but I have been not feeling okay. In the last part of October til mid-November my mental state was really bad, I felt like I was having a nervous breakdown. It wasn't an actual nervous breakdown but felt exactly like when I did have one many years ago. I found it really hard to function, but then I went on to have nearly 4 weeks of almost daily migraines, which was really horrendous. The migraines I've been having are more severe and harder to medicate than the ones I used to get usually (besides the one per month just before my period, which was worse and wouldn't go away with meds and CFQ qigong and meditation practice).

Since mid December the migraines have been down to 3-4 days per week, but on the days without one I have so much to do, if I'm feeling okay enough, plus on top of it my landlord was replacing my windows and doing some work, so my migraine-free days and nights were spent trying to clear up the mess in my apartment... (then the mice got through my steel wool barriers three weeks ago, and that was kind of the last straw for me...)

There were times (most of the time) with the migraines where I really felt/feel like I was/am losing my mind. As well, after having several in a row I feel like I have brain damage afterwards for a while. But, I'm hopeful that I can get a prescription for systemic estrogen when I see my doctor end of February, and I'm hopeful that might reduce the migraines a bit. I started taking progesterone 3-4 weeks ago, and that really helped with the anxiety and panic. I would have never guessed. I didn't know anything about perimenopause, which starts like 10 years before a woman stops their period, or that 'sex' hormones can have such an effect on the brain. I wish I'd learned about it earlier, I've wasted so much of my life in recent years just being in survival mode (stuck in a state of panic plus the migraines) and not doing much of anything interesting or creative or fun...

I will try to post more regularly, including some audios I'd meant to post months ago, plus hopefully new ones soon. I'll also try to be more responsive to messages, but I'm not sure if I'll be able to sustain conversations or chats. Right at this moment I'm feeling okay, but most of the time I'm not... Hopefully I'll feel better soon and have more space in my head/brain for friends, both online and in real life 🤞🤞

[brk43ver]

[brk43ver]

[ocean-sans-serif]

[brk43ver]

[brk43ver]

Playlist for carving pumpkins. RIP my old neighbour the Silver Omnipresent Cockroach, aka Roach. At least you live on in the internet. 👻🎃🧟‍♂️

HELLoWeeN

HELLoWeeN

[brk43ver]

My old neighbour Roach, in 2003. I think this might be my favourite photo of him. He passed away in 2023.🩶

[nusantaras]

— Highlights 🔒

[brk43ver]

[side-stitch-and-contour-lines]

Visit Original Link

Bruisings I woke up with I couldn’t tell What is hurting

My body, My heart Fevering flesh Floating by

Breathing Out a poor wind Tied up and lost Drizzling

Small bug Short wings Towards the light I see, I live

I started to dream As I heard your voice I started to cry As it began to rain

Burned oil Ruined hands I have arisen Broken

Muted Coward I am the dumbest King

If only you did Moan my name I would

maybe I would Have Trusted you the same Trully

I started to see As you blinded me with your light You left me afraid As you run Away from here

If only your scream Did what you meant Bruises

[iamwizzzzz]

[brk43ver]

[brk43ver]

[brk43ver]

Finally went for a night swim at the lake. Floated on my back and looked at the stars. Yes, it was a bit chilly getting in the water but nice…

[brk43ver]

Hey moot! Great audios :)

Thanks! :)

I’ve made a side blog where I will be posting my audios and nsfw content, to keep it a bit separate going forward: @touch-in-the-night

[stardustsighs]

Would like to apologise to all my mutuals who ever dmed me and later became a victim of my terrible communication skills 🥀🥀

[brk43ver]

I broke in (unscrewed the lock) to the empty lot next door to confirm that there is indeed a peach tree growing amongst the shoulder high weeds and baby trees. It’s pouring rain so I was worried the peaches might need to be picked asap, but they seem like they need a few more days. I did not find my garbage’s lid, unfortunately, but there’s lots of other weird stuff discarded there…

[brk43ver]

I picked some peaches a few days ago. I’ll try to get the last ones tomorrow if my migraine lets up. Shared some with my neighbours.

Here’s the empty lot next door. This is the first year I’ve seen the peach tree. There used to be a house, now the land is fenced off so that the owners don’t get complaints about the weeds and garbage… And the ground is most probably contaminated, but hopefully a few peaches won’t poison me…😅

[brk43ver]

More peaches!🍑🍑🍑