And with those insecure words, Scamp was just a boy in front of him, trying to make sense of what was happening to his family, shocked and worried he might’ve been played with, he reminded William of his own young self, seeking validation and reassurance from the person he cared most.
“Scamp, you were never and will never be just anything,” his voice was low and firm, he took a deep breath, fought against his own instincts that screamed for him to stop talking and get away, but he stood straighter and began to talk:
“For as long as I can remember, I’ve always carried feelings for your dad. I say this knowing how incredibly embarrassing this sounds, but there wasn’t a period of my life that I didn’t care for him, including back when I tried to completely cut ties I still held onto these feelings because reciprocated or not, they were the greatest sentiments I had felt so far.
When it became clear Chris didn’t feel the same way towards me, it took me a while but I did accept the reality of it and honestly I hoped that with time these sentiments would wane until all I had left was the love of a friend that your father seemed to want from me.
Your mom was the best thing to happen to your dad at the time, she was fierce – she still is – and she stood just as tall next to Chris, she challenged him and kept him on his toes, but more importantly, they loved each other and they were happy together. As bittersweet as it was for me, I was happy for them and when the news came that you were on the way, I knew your father would be over the moon.
I’ve always known he would be a good father, the same way I knew I wasn’t meant to be one… Scamp, you are the greatest thing Chris has ever made, you can’t possibly believe that you and your mom are hurdles. Not to him and not to me, you’re not.
I technically don’t have a family, but I like to believe that I adopted one and you’re part of it, Scamp, whether I’m dating your father or not, I want you to know that I consider you at least this much.”
William’s shoulders dropped with that last sentence, feeling lighter and exhausted all at once, “You came to me asking for the truth and my truth is simply this: I’m not trying to replace your mom, nor do I desire to diminish your importance in your dad’s life. I love him with all of my being and his happiness has constantly been my priority, that’s why I know that it’s of great necessity to know that you approve of us, Scamp, so if there’s something you want to say or ask, feel free to do so.”
Scamp wasn’t necessarily sure if he believed Will’s opening statement to be genuine or just a placating sentiment, so he was glad the older man moved quickly but collectively to explain himself. It was a surprise to hear that Will had harbored feelings for his father for longer than the few months or the years at most that Scamp initially assumed. He had no reason to even try to hide as much from showing in his expression, making it clear this was a part of their story that Chris had left out for Will to divulge if he ever chose to do so. Scamp’s brows furrowed steadily to listen on, even if some parts were lost on him, his mind storing away the more complex details of Chris and Will’s history to organize into a coherent timeline later. For now, he focused on the emotions.
Will had a certain way with his words, Scamp noted. He’d always thought this about the man, always watched Will carry himself more graciously than the vibrating mass of raw vigor he called a best friend. Even in his honesty Will’s sentences were rounded and on target and Scamp found himself once more muddling through the idea that he admired the same things in Will that he did in the very woman who raised him. The same who Will spoke so highly of and vice versa.
There was something feather-light about hearing Will refer to him as his father’s greatest creation. The sentence served as parting clouds in a storm of words, though Scamp’s reaction to them wouldn’t indicate so on a surface level. Chin bowing to his chest in a seemingly natural gesture, Scamp swiped a thumb across his mouth, a buffer movement to deal with the fact that it wasn’t sadness or anxiety that ultimately poked the biggest holes in his armor of composure, but happiness. Blinking the dampness from his eyes, he only looked back up to hear Will proudly stake a claim for their positions in each others’ lives.
Able to offer Will a slight smile out of the corner of his mouth, Scamp nodded in acceptance and belief that the man did indeed see him as family. And to know it was that way even before Will had a direct obligation to him loosened his chest. His relief at Will’s answers allowed him to casually listen to the rest of what he had to say rather than clinging to every syllable that left him and Scamp found that much of it reflected Chris’s own words when it came to adjacent conversations. Scamp had to wonder if the couple was just on the same page about how to tackle their future, having talked it through extensively as adults in an adult relationship, or if being together without actually being together for so long simply made things this way without an effort.
Finally opening his mouth, the only thing that first felt necessary to say was, “You would’ve made a decent enough dad.” Scamp smirked very lightly, teasing in a very on-brand manner that highlighted the sincerity behind his words. “If that’s not something for your adopted family to decide, having to spend this whole lifetime under your care then I dunno who can.”
He sat up straighter to speak more seriously next, eyes as intuitive as his mother’s, fixed onto Will. “Dad said you were really there for him when I was down for the count,” he spoke in somewhat of a strain of the incident that he himself was still working on coming to grips with. “That you made him feel better about something he didn’t think there was a feeling better about. I…” Scamp licked his lips in a moment of hesitation. “I didn’t realize you’d been that person for him since you were kids. Makes more sense why he dropped everything for you. More so than usual.” There was a flicker of amusement in his eyes to speak the last few words. He was no stranger to hearing how often Will’s name fell from his father’s lips or how often he’d try to get in touch and the men would be together.
“I know you wouldn’t knowingly take him away from me but I’m glad to hear you say so anyway. And my approval...that’s not important right now, not yet at least. What’s important is if you’re going to challenge him and keep him on his toes and if…” To Scamp, his father was the pinnacle, there wasn’t a thing the man wasn’t capable of perfecting but still he had to push himself to add, “...if he’ll do the same for you. You do love him because of the crummy old man he is right now and not because you’ve wanted him for so long...right?”
