We Kind Of Implied It Was A Turtle Dream

they/she/he. currently they/them but use whatever pronouns you like. not like it matters, nothing is binary and everything is gay. Abrosexual. Cassgender. Autistic. 25. ENFP. Libra. real life bard and certified dice goblin. (pretty much just a goblin in general tbh). major fandom trash. that's it really.

[broadwaytheanimatedseries]

So I made a whole ass magic school setting, with world building and a magic system and stuff, everything short of an actual name for the school itself... and then I made a Uquiz about it;

Made a magic school with a system and a world around it and everything and now it won't leave my brain so. Uquiz.

So uh... enjoy? I guess? I can explain more about how this world works in my little head if anyone asks about it. Be warned that it probably only really makes sense to me tho so. Yeah.

[broadwaytheanimatedseries]

wait I have an idea listen

Okay so I know how much we all love divorced moceit where they split the custody and deceit takes Virgil and Remus and Patton takes Roman and Logan

But here's a different idea!

So Virgil Knight is a very stressed single dad for his twin sons Roman and Remus. He divorced his awful wife only a few years ago and has been struggling to make the transition from stay at home dad to sole provider ever since. He realizes that until he can work from home like he wants to, he's gonna have to hire a babysitter.

Dylan Ceitful is a college senior who's trying to pay his tuition and get into law school, and for that he needs money. So he takes any job he can get, and this also means becoming a babysitter. Dylan realizes he's in big gay trouble™ the minute Virgil opens the door but he needs the money and he can hide his emotions pretty well so this shouldn't be a problem. Virgil has a similar realization because he can't have a crush on the babysitter what is the matter with him has he gone insane???

Later that week he meets his sons' art teacher to discuss what can be done about their constant fighting in class and son of a gun it happens again. The young teacher is just so beautiful and sweet and Virgil is starting to suspect that his type is "good with kids". Meanwhile Patton Hart is sitting at his desk and thinking "don't have a crush on the hot dad don't have a crush on the hot dad don't have a crush on the hot dad don't-" but it doesn't work.

Later that evening Virgil goes home, tucks his kids to bed, and collapses on his own bed in a big pile of gay exhaustion.

Later that night, Patton and Dylan are in bed, discussing the hot dad they have a crush on like the polyamorous gay disasters they are, when they suddenly realize. They have a crush on the same gay dad. So naturally, they decide to woo him.

And that's when Virgil's ex wife shows up.

I have a lot more planned for this au so let me know if you want to see more of it.

AND AS ALWAYS,

Stay Tuned!

[ironwoman359]

Ok, but I love this?

[broadwaytheanimatedseries]

AAAAAA IM GLAD YOU DO

[milomeepit]

*vibrates at the speed of sound* fam? hey fam? Please tag me if you do more with this fjskxnd

[broadwaytheanimatedseries]

Milo I love you so much you are amazing and I'm so glad you like my dumb shit but for the love of glob I don't have a taglist and I've said this like 20 times now it's almost all I say in the notes.

Sorry if that came off as rude I just really hope I won't have to repeat myself after this.

[milomeepit]

Oh rIP SORRY I DIDN'T LOOK AT THE NOTES ilu *clicks notifs on your blog instead* 💙💙💙

[broadwaytheanimatedseries]

Hey @fangirl-trash-can-66

Why would you hide this wonderful commentary for me in the tags?

Also I'll give you three guesses as to who the ex wife is and if you get it I'll answer you on any one question you have about this au. Because I like to share but I hate to spoil

[lunar-lair]

First of all, currently blushing, thanks for Notice

2nd of all, I'll take all three in one go.

1. Since Remus and Roman are out, that leaves one other; Logan. I'd say Thomas, but that'd be unlikely considering everyone's careers and how Thomas doesn't seem to be in many Human aus-though who's to say you're not an advocate for our little Host appearing more? Even so, you said awful.

Thomas couldn't be awful if he tried.

2. Remy. Sleepxiety is...kinda popular, so. Yeah. And Remy could be characterized as bad enough; though I kinda doubt it. This one has little base.

3. ...you wouldn't have me guess if it was some random person. ...but you said 'awful'...hm. (I mean, you might be throwing us off, or it was a throwaway word. Something without much meaning. I can't be sure, since I don't know your personality type.)

I'm gonna play my cards and go with the elusive orange side. Or your version of him, I guess.

Of course, they'd all have to be female versions, unless you were just using 'wife' to throw us off. And again, having it be some random lady would make much less of an impact, especially considering it seemed like an important event that the ex had returned.

So. The cards are down. Time to figure out if I win or lose.

[broadwaytheanimatedseries]

Okay you don't have as much info as I do so I'll give you a hint to try again with

It's a character that's only ever been off screen in Sanders Sides

Also other from orange side all your guesses play a role in this au just not this role

[rosenapp]

....Patty?

[broadwaytheanimatedseries]

No because we've actually seen Patty in the Halloween episode

[rosenapp]

Lee and/or Marie Lee?

[broadwaytheanimatedseries]

No but that's a good idea I'm gonna have them mentioned at some point maybe. They won't be important or anything just name dropped

[phoenix-burns-wildly]

Dragon witch?

@broadwaytheanimatedseries

[broadwaytheanimatedseries]

YES! Or at least I'm like pretty sure that was the plan this post is so old now omg

[jules-ln]

Anyway, a round of applause for the mods at r/SherlockHolmes who deleted my meme:

Because it was fanfiction:

Even when everything happened in canon:

So yesss, they were basically calling Canon, fanfiction lmao

[the-bedheaded-league]

They literally just label anything related to Holmes being gay as fanfiction it’s insane lol

[todaysbird]

fun fact about me: When I was 6 years old I sent so much hate mail to the president (the second Bush) that the mail carrier had to tell my mom I needed to stop before we got FBI’d

[todaysbird]

I was COMPLETELY unaware of the US political scene or why the adults in my life hated Bush, but I knew I hated him because he let people shoot wolves from helicopters and that’s mean and shitty

[todaysbird]

I also had a poor grasp on how stamps worked, so given that I wasn’t allowed to continually throw money away by putting stamps on my presidential hate mail, a lot of the times I just drew squares with little pictures inside on the corner.

[fantasticait]

Love, love, love reading more proof that everyone should encourage the children in their lives to write to elected officials--it teaches them about citizenship and can also be very funny.

When I taught second grade, one of the options for students who had finished their work was to write a letter to the president. I would send all of the letters in a big envelope at the end of every month.

Watching my students get more and more frustrated with him (and concerned about his wellbeing) was not the result I'd hoped for when I came up with the idea, but it was kind of hilarious.

See, Obama had a standard packet with information and activities about his dog he'd send in response to letters from very young citizens...and of course his office sent one back to our class every single time we sent mail.

So eventually all of the letters looked something like this:

Dear President Obama, I am writing about the environment. I am sad that the Great Barrier Reef is hurt. Also the Amazon Rainforest. Can you help? PLEASE DON'T WRITE BACK TO TELL ME ABOUT YOUR DOG AGAIN. WE ALREADY KNOW ALL ABOUT BO. WE COMPLETED THE MAZE AND COLORED HIM IN. It is good that you love your pet a lot. But try to remember the environment. It is also important.

[ishipallthings]

[iwishtheygottogether-tournament]

I Wish They Ended Up Together Tournament - ROUND 2 MATCHUP 20

Soren & Corvus vs Rumi & Mira & Zoey

Soren & Corvus (The Dragon Prince)

Rumi & Mira & Zoey (KPop Demon Hunters)

Remaining time: 4 days 2 hours

Propaganda:

Soren & Corvus

Enemies to allies to friends, they should've moved to lovers as well. They have sooo much chemistry together it's insane. Their personalities balance each other out well, Soren being this funny, comic-relief type of character who goes through The Horrors, whereas Corvus is cool, calm and collected and goes through The Horrors by association. They support each other, physically and emotionally, they've saved each others lives several times. When Soren was doubting himself, Corvus gave him a wonderful heartfelt speech about how great Soren is and how big his heart is. Corvus isn't big on physical affection, except when it's Soren. They've hugged multiple times, piggybacked and carried each other bridal style. They care about each other so much!!

[ani-tolaat-bli-toelet]

@broadwaytheanimatedseries thoughts?

[broadwaytheanimatedseries]

Bro I am in the sorvus group here on Tumblr I am in the fucking trenches and I am planning on writing a sex pollen fic YOU KNOW WHAT MY THOUGHTS ARE YOU KNOW ME god they make me SICK

[filyahehh]

smartest cat ever!

[thombalan]

More on my Patreon 💙

Link in bio ☝️

[feraligatr]

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

I'm the laziest cook in the world and it rules

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

So many of my meals are like:

onion, garlic, some tins of beans and tomatoes in slow cooker

add spices at some point

when it's hot, cook some pasta

now you have three days' worth of dinner

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

The most effort I put into the average meal is chopping an onion

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

Thank you people in the notes giving me tips on how to make this even lazier

[lotrmusical]

never let anyone tell you that trawling through mediocre victorian poetry isn't worth it. we just happened upon an absolute BANGER of a worm poem. go read it or else 🪱🪱🪱

[lotrmusical]

the reviews are in... glad everyone's enjoying song of the worm

[id: tumblr tags reading 'dude This Fucking Rules', 'holy fucking shit! that was legit so cool?', 'holy shit that is fucking metal', 'oh this fucks severely', 'yeah no this fucking SLAPS', 'yo this RULES']

[memento-morri-writes]

can confirm this does fucking slap.

[the-insan1ty-clause]

oh yeah that fucking slaps

[drethelin]

Song of the Worm

Cook, Eliza (1818 - 1889)

THE worm, the rich worm, has a noble domain

In the field that is stored with its millions of slain;

The charnel-grounds widen, to me they belong,

With the vaults of the sepulchre, sculptured and strong.

The tower of ages in fragments is laid,

Moss grows on the stones, and I lurk in its shade;

And the hand of the giant and heart of the brave

Must turn weak and submit to the worm and the grave.

Daughters of earth, if I happen to meet

Your bloom-plucking fingers and sod-treading feet--

Oh! turn not away with the shriek of disgust

From the thing you must mate with in darkness and dust.

Your eyes may be flashing in pleasure and pride,

'Neath the crown of a Queen or the wreath of a bride;

Your lips may be fresh and your cheeks may be fair--

Let a few years pass over, and I shall be there.

Cities of splendour, where palace and gate,

Where the marble of strength and the purple of state;

Where the mart and arena, the olive and vine,

Once flourished in glory; oh! are ye not mine?

Go look for famed Carthage, and I shall be found

In the desolate ruin and weed-covered mound;

And the slime of my trailing discovers my home,

'Mid the pillars of Tyre and the temples of Rome.

I am sacredly sheltered and daintily fed

Where the velvet bedecks, and the white lawn is spread;

I may feast undisturbed, I may dwell and carouse

On the sweetest of lips and the smoothest of brows.

The voice of the sexton, the chink of the spade,

Sound merrily under the willow's dank shade.

They are carnival notes, and I travel with glee

To learn what the churchyard has given to me.

Oh! the worm, the rich worm, has a noble domain,

For where monarchs are voiceless I revel and reign;

I delve at my ease and regale where I may;

None dispute with the worm in his will or his way.

The high and the bright for my feasting must fall--

Youth, Beauty, and Manhood, I prey on ye all:

The Prince and the peasant, the despot and slave;

All, all must bow down to the worm and the grave.

[razzmothazz]

still caring about internet friends you lost touch with years ago is so embarrassing. yeah i had a deam we met up irl recently. the last time we spoke was maybe 7-8 years ago. i still wear the laces we randomly decided was a sign of our friendship. i dont know what any of your socials are or if youre even active on any. sometimes i see someones art resemble yours and i wonder for hours. do you still go by that name you chose? whenever i see it i wonder if its you. we couldve passed each other in this vastness a thousand times and not have a clue.

[razzmothazz]

we were lonely kids having fun together. do you remember?

[maddragonfruit]

Logan: So what’s for dinner? 

Patton: I can’t tell you, it’s a soup-prise! 

Logan: … 

Logan: Is it soup? 

Patton: I soup-pose it could be! *winks* 

Logan: Please, enough with the soup puns! 

Patton: Wow, you’re soup-per mean. 

Logan: STOP! 

*one hour later* 

Logan: It’s tacos?!?!?!

[gifs-of-puppets]

The Muppet Show (1976-1981)

[unwastelandunbaby]

“they’re just looking at each other” you could not begin to understand the complexities involved in looking at each other

[allthingswhumpyandangsty]

[strawberry-crocodile]

for real tho it feels exhausting that ive seen this whole "woman should be allowed to abstain from X beauty standard" -> "i perform X beauty standard, am i evil? do you think im evil? please forgive me i came up with a dozen excuses 🥺" since like 2015 (and i know its been going on longer than that) like girl thats not the poiiiiint

[strawberry-crocodile]

look me in the eyes. repeat after me. "i face societal pressure to perform this beauty standard. i should not face that pressure. i conform to this standard. i am rewarded for performing to this standard. i need to respect women who do not perform this standard. this is not about whether or not i am a sinner for wearing makeup."

[crittercatxd]

Transfem Jax!!