welcome to my twisted colon

hello theydies

[orcboxer]

got a crick in my neck and a frog in my throat and a chip on my shoulder and a stick up my ass and now you're gonna stand there puttin words in my mouth? haven't I been through enough?

[slowavesloth]

[i-fuck-audis]

MY FUCKING CAR

[flipchild]

Just drank a hot cup of Hava 🍵

[fuckoe]

What is hava

[flipchild]

Hava niceday

[cheddar-baby]

[fullmetalfisting]

I know that “fwiw” means “for what it’s worth.” I know that. But every time I read it, my brain translates it to “fwom what I wemembew”

[elmyraerased]

[cloudabserk]

i love you assad

[3000s]

while you were busy jacking off & cumming hard. it rained outside beautifully

[bunniope]

what do you think i was jacking off to...?

[lmaonade]

[segamascott]

[leeline]

you gotta tell your cats theyre small. they dont know. you gotta tell em

[womanaction]

one of the best sentences I've read on Wikipedia

[joeyclaire]

telling a skinny person they look like they give terrible hugs

[myankleissprained]

Guys can I be honest. I like you guys . You are my Frends. Yay Ok

[princecroutons]

his head is so fucking wide

[princecroutons]

[dogpuppy]

[anglaised]

no one likes to say it on here bc we are supposed to be like very lady like or proper and whatever but it rlly is underrated how great u feel after taking a huge poo like sorry it just feels so freeing like and im not scared to say it the moments before u do a huge poo are so scary like u feel like life is over and everything is hopeless and then right after ur done u have the strength 2 face a new day bravely and u feel light and beautiful and unburdened maybe its uncouth to say but i dont care its my truth

[draconym]

I used to really like the ✨ emoji but now she's best friends with AI and I feel like I can't trust her anymore

[vacuously-true]

NO do NOT let them win. We can save her. We can wrest her association back from AI. She doesn't deserve this and we can't abandon her.