AnasAbdin
todays bird
hello vonnie
Janaina Medeiros
oozey mess
Cosimo Galluzzi
$LAYYYTER
Love Begins
shark vs the universe
styofa doing anything
Claire Keane
macklin celebrini has autism
YOU ARE THE REASON
Jules of Nature
#extradirty
Kiana Khansmith
Origami Around
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2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year
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@brogan1220
Sarkis Bakalyan and I Talk Modern Warfare 2 - IS IT WORTH IT? IS IT EVEN A COMPLETE GAME? New video up now @youtube LINK IS IN THE BIO . . . . . . . . . . . . . . @activision @blizzard @xbox @xboxgamepass @playstation #callofdutymodernwarfare #callofduty #callofdutywarzone #ythefnot (at Los Angeles, California) https://www.instagram.com/p/ClDJUTtAPYL/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=
In today's episode Babyghost returns to promote her new song 'I Been Stressin' and to hang out too of course. Babyghost is hard at work crea
In today's episode Babyghost returns to promote her new song 'I Been Stressin' and to hang out too of course. Babyghost is hard at work creating their new album while scaring some folks in the valley. Always a good time helping someone promote their art but may I say its even better, to just hang out with my friends on this show. If you wanna stay in touch with what Babyghost is up to check out their links below. Don't forget to pre-save their latest track as well.
In today's episode I got to hangout with my good friend Annjela, also know as Annjelife. She is very well know in the Cosplay community for
had a great time hanging out with Annjelife!
Kenan and Kel and Kobe
Time out!!!
If someone has an emotional break down people come over and go "hey what's going on"? or "hey hey hey bud calm down"
But when you dont break down and you calmly go away to cool down and nobody says a thing, did it happen?
Alien
You ever feel like an alien?
Like an outsider
Doing anything you can to communicate and work alongside the species on this planet
I do
Feels like simple emotions that seem human dont communicate well.
Gestures misunderstood and I then get flagged for standing out.
I wish I were an alien
An alien with a ship that could blast off whenever it so chose to.
For now I'll keep reading.
Random Rant 1
Today I tried my hand on transcendental meditation. Basically it is a style of meditation in which you find yourself a mantra to say to yourself, silently, while you close your eyes and breathe. What this will do is slowly allow your mind to drift underneath all the commotion of your daily stresses. sounded wonderful to me!
A way to just go underneath your anxiety and worry and just feel peace. Simply wonderful…so I tried it.
They say to do 20 mins twice a day and I just finished my first 20 min cycle this morning. I plan to meditate in the morning and sometime in the afternoon/evening and see what it can do for me.
SO what DID it do so far?
Man, I can’t even explain how blown away I am by how intuitive my mind was to the 20 mins I set for myself. I didn’t set any timer for myself to wake myself up in case I fell asleep. I just closed my eyes and trusted myself.
As I fell deeper into the trance my mind slowly tried to pull away to certain images. I couldn’t tell you where my mind was pulling this from. It honestly felt as if my mind was trying to show YouTube clips to distract me and pull me away, so whenever that would happen I would center back into my mantra.
Your mantra by the way can be whatever you want but its best to use something made up and not some actual word. Won’t tell you mine cause it’s a secret and mine alone. Feels like my totem from inception but instead of letting me know what’s real it allows me to fall into the deeper self of the real.
So, here I am about to drink some coffee and start my day. Will I feel more energized? Will I feel less stressed? Dear god I hope so.
Today I tried my hand on transcendental meditation. Basically it is a style of meditation in which you find yourself a mantra to say to yourself, silently, while you close your eyes and breathe. What this will do is slowly allow your mind to drift underneath all the commotion of your daily stresses. sounded wonderful to me!
A way to just go underneath your anxiety and worry and just feel peace. Simply wonderful…so I tried it.
They say to do 20 mins twice a day and I just finished my first 20 min cycle this morning. I plan to meditate in the morning and sometime in the afternoon/evening and see what it can do for me.
SO what DID it do so far?
Man, I can’t even explain how blown away I am by how intuitive my mind was to the 20 mins I set for myself. I didn’t set any timer for myself to wake myself up in case I fell asleep. I just closed my eyes and trusted myself.
As I fell deeper into the trance my mind slowly tried to pull away to certain images. I couldn’t tell you where my mind was pulling this from. It honestly felt as if my mind was trying to show YouTube clips to distract me and pull me away, so whenever that would happen I would center back into my mantra.
Your mantra by the way can be whatever you want but its best to use something made up and not some actual word. Won’t tell you mine cause it’s a secret and mine alone. Feels like my totem from inception but instead of letting me know what’s real it allows me to fall into the deeper self of the real.
So, here I am about to drink some coffee and start my day. Will I feel more energized? Will I feel less stressed? Dear god I hope so.
Moments I will never forget.
Moments I will never forget.
Why is that negative moments seem to stay longer than happy moments? They stuck in your memory and feel as if the pain never leaves. I heard its because of our survival instinct. We remember the bad things so that they don’t happen again or at least that’s how it supposed to work.
The moment I will never forget started off in the morning.
I was fast asleep in bed, it was dark still but early morning, when out of nowhere my mom runs into my room.
I get up sleepily as she rushes me off to her room. She says that there is something wrong with Mauricio, my brother.
Mauricio at this point is two years old. Little dude is blind with implants inside both his eye sockets. He later on got diagnosed with cerebral palsy and had handful of other medical problems that didn’t do him any good.
When I get to my mom’s room, I see her husband on the floor with my brother, he wasn’t moving. My mom’s husband was on the phone with paramedics but since he didn’t speak English that well they needed me to translate. I took the phone and the person on the line talked me through giving my brother cpr. I did what I was told.
As I was talking to the paramedics, I turned to see my mom. She was siting on the floor sobbing, hands on her face. Her baby was dead. She knew it and even I knew it.
Finally, ambulance came and rushed my brother with my mom to the hospital. As they left, I went to my room. I went inside my room and drop down to my knees at the foot of my bed to pray. I don’t pray much only because I think its crazy to think that you only go to god and pray when you need something. But I prayed. I prayed so that my brother could come home. I believed that eh would come home so I went on with my morning like any other day.
I showered got my stuff together for school went to the bus stop and got to class. I don’t remember that bus ride at all come to think of it. Hwy did I go to school still? I didn’t want it to be true I didn’t want to act like something terrible just happened, but it did.
I was in 2nd period English class. I had my hoody up and was not feeling great at all. My teacher said something about my posture or what my attitude seemed to be coming off as, but that doesn’t matter. It didn’t matter to me I just wanted my brother to come home that’s all.
After English class I went to a friend and asked if I could use a phone. Back in my day we didn’t all have cellphones. I called my mom. She said that my aunt and her friend were going to come pick me up. I asked her about my brother and she simply repeated what she said. I could hear the tears in her voice. I was in disbelief even as I walked to the office. It wasn’t until is aw the tears in my aunt’s eyes that it hit me. My brother was gone.
My aunt wrapped her arms around me and said how sorry she was. I was honestly thrown back to my aunt crying, we NEVER saw her cry.
As we walked to the car my sister looked up at me and asked me if I knew where our brother went. I said no and she said that he went to heaven. I wish I had her innocence at that time just so that it wouldn’t hurt as much. Because it does. Maybe that’s the pain I feel inside the pressure within. Sometimes I wonder if I just miss him so much that it makes living so unbearable.
Writing seems to make it hurt more in some way. My fingers do not want to write down these words.
Maybe that means I should keep going.
Self
If I could talk to my teenage self, I don’t know what I would say. I wouldn’t want to say anything. There’s so much being said to teenage me that if I close my eyes and imagine him, I see this:
Nothing.
I don’t see myself the younger self. The younger me seems like he was hidden away. If ever did find younger me I would hug him. He needs a hug just a hug. That’s all.
My favorite way to spend the day
My favorite way to spend the day is by not wondering what I want to do. So much pressure everywhere. Constant pressure from all sides to do this, or watch that, like this person, hate that person. Nobody seems to get a chance to be who they want to be.
I don’t. I feel frozen in my body and mind. I feel as if something is wanting to burst from chest, but nothing comes out. As ai write these words the pressure in my chest rises. My eyes feel like they could cry at any moment but why? Why does writing do this to me and why do I stray way from writing. Does writing simply seems like work to me. Do I not like work?
So many questions.
So my favorite way to spend the day is by searching for what my soul wants.
A story
A story
This story begins the same way any other story begins, from the beginning. I should remind myself to keep a steady pace as to not stress myself out too bad. Now I’m wondering am I writing thoughts out that are genuinely mine or am I just saying things a certain way because that’s how I think so and so would have said it… I just realized that I have lost track as to what I was doing. The story.
Ok so a story needs to have some intention and I’ll tell you what I have no idea what I am going to write about. Not sure if anybody is even going to read this other than myself. That’s just my ego talking. So why write? Why sit down and jot down all these words just to forget about them later on… maybe that’s the purpose of this all. To just start writing something down and eventually get to a point of interest!... but I don’t feel like I’m there yet.
A tree. You ever just look at a tree. There’s something beautifully boring about a tree. A tree doesn’t worry about why it’s a tree. Its just a tree. I want to be like the tree. Not an actual tree but I want the self that is me to feel as content as the tree I see outside my window. My soul yearns to wave in the breeze as freely as the branches. I want the tears in my eyes to all as easily as the leaves in the autumn. I want my feet to be as steady as the base of tree so that no hard winds can blow me over. I want to bend with the wind. Not worry about the little things or the bad things. A tree doesn’t worry. Oh my how lucky trees are.
You know, I’m not very good at this story writing thing. I much rather just spew out thoughts like vomit onto the page. Why the hell did I writer that???? Was I trying to impress some mysterious reader who doesn’t even know me or am I just trying to make myself feel more important? Feels like I m constantly doing that. Finding ways to rationalize my existence. To show why I should be here. The tree never does that. The only time the tree goes away is when purpose is thrusted upon them to become paper or what not. Maybe not having purpose is the real freedom.
“The most important kind of freedom is to be what you really are.”
— Jim Morrison
“People are afraid of themselves, of their own reality; their feelings most of all. People talk about how great love is, but that’s bullshit. Love hurts. Feelings are disturbing. People are taught that pain is evil and dangerous. How can they deal with love if they’re afraid to feel? Pain is meant to wake us up. People try to hide their pain. But they’re wrong. Pain is something to carry, like a radio. You feel your strength in the experience of pain. It’s all in how you carry it. That’s what matters. Pain is a feeling. Your feelings are a part of you. Your own reality. If you feel ashamed of them, and hide them, you’re letting society destroy your reality. You should stand up for your right to feel your pain.”
— Jim Morrison
Jim Morrison, 1968
“It’s easier to be alone than it is to constantly be misunderstood”
—
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