"You're a monster!"
(M O N S T E R)
The word echoes in Sam’s head, and the hunter can’t control the rush of emotions. Guilt. Anger. Pain.
“Dean…” He starts quietly, but doesn’t know how he’s going to finish the sentence.
It was hard to guess what would be worse - to hear what Sam was going through but stay away, not actually see any of it, or to be there by his side, helping him in whatever way he could, but watching every single second of it. In the end, however, it didn’t matter, because he wasn’t the one going through the detox, his own comfort was all but irrelevant. It was what made this easier on Sam that mattered.
“You’re not gonna hurt me, Sam. I’ll tie you down when it starts getting violent, we’ll both be safe. I’m not letting you go through this alone again.” The truth was, however, that Dean didn’t know if Sam would hurt him or not - the demon blood made him very powerful, and just like it’d thrown Sam around the room, Sam could throw him, among many other even more unpleasant scenarios. He didn’t care, however. He just wanted to help Sam, no matter how angry he was at him.
He wanted to say no. To refuse his brother's offer to come with him. To stay with him. He didn't want to hurt Dean even more than he already had. But, if he was being honest, Sam had always been the selfish one. Would one more selfish action really make a difference? Yes, it would, but Sam couldn't bring himself to say no to Dean. Not when he was sure that saying no wouldn't make his brother stay away, anyway.
He sighed and nodded, desperately not wanting to go through it alone. He just wished that Dean wouldn't have to be he one to go through it with him. "Thank you." He said quietly, adding a silent sorry as he sighed again and looked away from his brother. Dean didn't deserve this. Dean didn't deserve to carry a burden that Sam was making for him. I'm sorry.












