Homer Was Right @brokeyuppiepunk - Tumblr Blog

georgecuntanza

american library association’s READ poster ft buffy cast

everythingfox

Baby otter first time in the water

blackpyrefly

kity

mite75

macden

arden-in-the-garden

I had a dream last night that the Decemberists guy put out a new song that was him announcing the band was breaking up, but the song was also his like detailing his future career path, and it was an excruciatingly granular 13.5 minutes of him explaining to us in detail that he was going to become a world renowned marionette maker and like the steps he was going to take to complete this (step 1 was learn to spin flax to make his own cord, step 2 was learn whittling to create his own puppets, step 3 to make his own paints, etc etc. He was going for that vertical slice sort of thing) All the while someone was shouting in the background I DON'T WANNA BREAK UP and WHO'S GOING TO GET MY ACCORDION because apparently there was a custody battle happening for that?? But as it turned out the song was too much of a banger and people wouldn't let them quit and also he had like horrible arthritis in his hands that was preventing him from making the shit so they announced within the week that the band was actually back together and The Marionette Maker's Heart's Desire was like their new #1 hit

toskarin

something incredibly funny about dnd trying to get in on the cute animal of the week trend with a popular raccoon and, because this is how dnd works with regards to animals, doing so by releasing a statblock so you can fight and kill it

toskarin

putting "don't you dare" in the XP count but still explaining how one would go about fighting jimothy the raccoon, a random animal with a spinal condition, is killing me

strawberry-crocodile

Happy The Missile Knows Where It Is Monday

sleepy-frog-lady

I don’t know what this post is trying to tell me

predatory-lesbians

the missile knows where it is

seven-winged-liar

hearing a beloved friend say the words 'can i be mean for a sec' is like watching an angel descend from the heavens and kiss you on the forehead

goth-queen

transmechanicus

Posts that be like “If I were a monster that had to eat people, i would just eat horrible people~” are so absurd to me. How often do you see Known Criminals on the street? Billionaires out for a nightly stroll around town? Effectively fucking never. If I have to drag myself to the grocery store, you think it’s gonna be any easier for me to hunt Bezos and Co. every time my stomach growls? I can’t bother to plan meals more than a day in advance, how am i gonna perform whole ass detective work to confirm someone’s a serial killer before i eat them? Ya’ll got that much time on your hands? Planning 5 course meals every night of the week? Don’t make me laugh. Eat a pedestrian and tragically wrestle with guilt like the rest of us, idiot.

transmechanicus

Experienced people eater weighing in with the most galaxy brain option

dkpsyhog

lure a cop to the den, chow down, they send more cops to investigate and pretty soon youve basically got one of those sushi bars where the food comes to you on a conveyor belt

wherelibertydwells

knitmeapony

A Flock of issues. The post Florida Man Finds Easy Way to Stop Flock Cameras From Working Right appeared first on Mandatory.

number1mongrel

"You hear that? They're saying The Odyssey doesn't even have nobody!"

"They've got nobody in the Odyssey?"

"No I'm saying they don't got nobody."

"Nobody's there?"

"Nobody's not there!"

"So everyone's there?"

"Everybody but nobody!"

eilooxara

Oat milk was discovered much more recently than you may have known. Like many now-familiar technologies, it was found by accident during the Apollo program when NASA learned what a zero-g environment does to goat milk.