BronyMom

A parents journey into Equestria Positive Brony Parenting!

[bronymom]

Becoming BronyMom

[bronymom]

My Little Grayson.. YOU are 20% cooler!

    The youngest Brony members seem to also be the most at risk Brony members. In recent news, I have found several cases of school bullying. While it is bad enough that these young men are bullied by classmates, it makes me sick to find out that some are bullied by the schools that are meant to protect them.

Grayson Bruce age 9, loved My Little Pony so much he requested a backpack lunchbox to carry to school. He was, within days, ridiculed and harassed by classmates. He was called names (that when questioned by the news) even he would not repeat. He was called gay and told to go kill himself. THIS IS WRONG no matter what he was carrying to school. The bullying soon escalated against this young man.

His parents jumped into action and contacted the school. Now this leads me to question, WHY wasn't the teachers and school already taking action and contacting the parents? There are laws they have to abide by and they obviously felt their school was exempt. Now, you may ask how do I know there are laws for this particular state, well I researched it (with the help of the Brony dad in this household) and sure enough there it is. I will post a link to it at the bottom of this blog. So back to his parents contacted the school... the school officials had a "wonderful" solution. Grayson was asked to not publicly display his backpack. When Grayson's parents approached the school for help, the school BLAMED the parents for allowing him to have the lunch bag (why would the parents not let him have it). The Superintendent's office is supporting the school and refusing to take action calling the lunch bag a "trigger for the bullying".... SERIOUSLY.

Now, as if the verbal bullying were not enough, there was physical violence involved. He was punched and knocked down. ALL of this because some one has NOT taken the time to teach love and tolerance. The school has an obligation to this student. But instead, they punished the bullied child. 

I have to question the mind set of a school system who would do this. The bullies win when the child who was bullied is punished. How do they say that one child cannot carry a character lunch bag, without saying all students cannot carry a character lunch bag... gender stereotype much? Now in light of the Michael Morones story (which I feel like the school should have taken steps to help this young man also) you would think schools would be a bit more vigilant in policing the bullies. That, however, is not the case for Grayson.

Now all of that is horrible, all of that is wrong. Yet, when the parents started talking about this publicly, the general public started attacking. This is crazy. I have personally saw this and defended these parents on several public sites. The news stories are shared by the news outlets and the general public goes stupid against a bullied child and his parents! Why... gender stereotyping and pure stupidity. These parents are right in standing up for their child. I would question any parent who did not stand up for the rights of their son. These parents are amazing.

I am a firm believer that if you support your child, they will become stronger. The simple knowledge of knowing you are supported and loved gives you the strength to believe in yourself and be true to yourself. These parents are doing just that! I am sure Grayson walks a little taller knowing his mom and his dad have his back. That is good parenting!

I am posting a couple news stories to this. I guarantee I will be back to post even more links as this story is still in the infant stages. I can only imagine this little Brony and his momma have so much more in their future. I can also guarantee that the BronyMom will have their backs. See I now have the pleasure of counting this family as part of my herd! I have yet to meet them in person, but it will happen! Our Brony mom herd grows by the day. I am proud to call them my friends. I am amazed daily by their strength.

Keep up your fight my little Brony Buddy! Grayson, this Brony Mom thinks you rock! You are 20% COOLER!  BroHoof Buddy!

Please everyone follow and share @SupportGrayson on twitter and join him on facebook at : https://www.facebook.com/SupportForGrayson

Here are a few of the news stories:

News station WLSO 13 ABC

http://www.wlos.com/shared/news/features/top-stories/stories/wlos_-school-bully-concerns-15463.shtml

The Daily Mail 3/14:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2581224/School-orders-boy-9-punched-bullied-having-My-Little-Pony-lunch-bag-leave-home.html#

HLNtv  3/15

http://www.hlntv.com/article/2014/03/13/boy-bullied-my-little-pony-bag-school-grayson-bruce

This was from Glenn Beck on 3/17:

http://www.glennbeck.com/2014/03/17/standwithgrayson-glenn-stands-in-solidarity-with-a-9-year-old-nc-student/

  North Carolina Bullying laws:

http://standagainstbullying.org/page/laws_north_Carolina

by clicking the blue Statute number it will take you to the law

[bronymom]

Rule 34.... Parents - I hate to have this conversation, but we must

So for those of you who know what Rule 34 is or R34 please skip this one! If not, here goes....

 Rule 34 of the internet is .. if it exists, there is porn of it. No exceptions.

MLP:FiM is not immune to this. SO I stress to parents, you must supervise young children on the internet no matter what they are searching for. This is good parenting.

Now, you might say, why would someone do this. I have no answer for this. I honestly don't know myself. I can tell you that this is not a new rule. It has been around for years. Years before Bronies, years before MLP came back into the mix. I can also tell you it is not going away. There are, however, steps you can take to help this epidemic. It is called reporting. There is always a way to report an unsavory image that has somehow gotten mixed into safe searches. Now, does it remove the image, no. It makes the image not appear in safe search mode though.

Now, as a mother, I have to say, I find it completely absurd to think of parents using a computer as a babysitter. If you want to do that, I suggest you buy a product that you load the content on so that your child only has access to what you put on the device. This comes back to good parenting. Would you leave a loaded gun down for a child to play with? NO. Would you let them walk around Time Square alone? NO. Would you hand them the cash in you bank account to place in the their pocket for safe keeping? NO. So why would you place a child in front of a computer or hand them an unlocked smartphone and let them go? There is a lot of bad people out there, trust me when I say they will find a way to your child, if you don't protect them. That is your job, not an internet browser's safe mode.

So why am I addressing this common internet problem on a Brony site? Well, I have received many "fan mails" on this tumblr accusing the Bronies of being the perpetrators of MLP "pornographic" images. While, I am sure there are some fans of the show that do create this, not every fan should be accused. That is kind of like saying you are responsible for the sins of your neighbor. Placing blanketed blame is a sign of irresponsibility and ignorance. I am no more responsible for your actions as you are for mine.

So please, police your computer and make sure your children are safe. Know that there are just as many Bronies out there that are disgusted by their beloved characters being sexualized as you are. Don't blame the fandom for a few people's actions. Take control of your child's time. This is your responsibility, as a parent. ANYTHING your child searches, is vulnerable to this horrible truth, anything and everything.

 Is Rule 34 a sad truth..YES. But none the less, it is the truth of the internet. Be ever so mindful of what your child is viewing.

[bronymom]

Let's talk - fan mail answer..

I was recently sent the following, so rather than just post a name, since he was seeking advice, I thought I would cut and paste. That way he deals with this is his time, and not someone else's.

submitted:

Hi there! I Just found your blog, and I was hoping you and/or your son could help me? I’ve really been wanting to go to Bronycon(I live right in Maryland, so it’s fairly affordable too), but I have done my utmost to keep enjoying a show a secret since getting into it in season 1, reason being my parents are incredibly judgmental. I love them to death, and they mean well, but they were positive I was gay for weeks after I bought a bunch of Queen CDs, I can’t imagine the assumptions they’d make if I told them I like My Little Pony and want to go to a pony convention. Especially since my mom’s the kind who likes to do research on google about any topic I show interest in, so I have no doubt will find the bad stuff and misinformation, and my dad’s mildly homophobic and quick to judge, so you can imagine how that might go.

Needless to say that borrowing the car to drive downtown on the weekend would kind of merit explaining, so the cat’s likely coming out of the bag soon. I appreciate the post from your son, and I was hoping one or both of you would be willing to go a little more in-depth on the subject so I can keep what should be a minor thing from blowing up into a family scandal? Are there any specific questions you had in your mind - both voiced and in your head - when your son told you, and how would you two suggest responding to them?

Thank you both for any help you can offer!

RESPONSE

Hello, thanks for asking!

BronyMom says:

First and foremost, do not leave your mom to search the internet alone. This was the single biggest mistake my Brony made. I cannot stress it enough. Also, while I am sure the Brony dvd/blu-ray is great for Bronies, it is not a great way to introduce your family to the fandom. Please save that for a later day!

I think the biggest question I had was WHY. So, before you have the conversation with mom or dad or both, do some soul searching and have a good answer. If you don't, it becomes simply about cartoon ponies that are geared towards little girls. Make sure they know about the morals and values that this fandom stands for. Talk to them about the charitable side of Bronies. How they stand united for good causes all over the world. Have a list of pro's. Trust me they will have the list of con's.  Because I had never heard of a Brony before my son (not so gently told me) I honestly immediately thought there was a serious issue with him. He knows I honestly thought he was gay. I have never hidden that. I hurt him because I verbalized it and I have apologized several times (but as a mom you just cannot take that back). I had one young man simply print out my very first blog "Congratulations It's a Brony" and give it to his mom. It seemed to work well for him.

http://www.bronymom.com/post/75542705289/congratulations-its-a-brony

Your mom can also contact me, I will be more than happy to talk with her. I messed up my relationship with my son, I hope to help other mothers not follow that needless path.

Offer to take her to BronyCon if she shows interest. I learned so much about all the wonderful things the fandom had to offer if given a chance, right at BronyCon!

I hope that helped. My biggest question was WHY. My biggest fear became that my son would be ostracized due to the fan base.

  BronySon says: 

First of all, don't get defensive about what they have to say. Don't cut them off let them have their say. Then explain any adversity they may have away in a calm manner. Do not get mad and walk away! Doing so, reinforces that there is something wrong with your being a Brony. Stay calm no matter what they have to say. If at first, you cannot get your point across to suit you, leave it where it stands and revisit it in a few days. Remember, this could be a shock to them if they have never heard of the Brony fandom.

Search out positive sites on the internet before your initial talk, that way you will have good places to send them for information.

Be positive, they may not understand you at first, but no matter what they will love you and ultimately, I hope come to support your decision.

No matter how they react, remain the same person you were before you told them. Help them to see that you are still the exact same person you were before. Tell the how long you have already been a Brony (so they don't start blaming everything in your life on the fandom).

Please know that you can contact us, we will try our best to help you through.

[bronymom]

Confessions of a Bad Brony Parent, The Brony's take!

I was not the only failure at the mom and son breakdown.

This is the Guest appearance of my Brony... this is what he says he would do different if we could go back and change our first year.

***Guest Blogger...Brony Son***

The day that I told my mom I was a Brony I thought I was prepared. I thought it would be a normal "oh that's cool" response. I was not prepared for anything except that. So I think I would tell Bronies to expect the "are you Gay" question, and not react negatively to it. Understand that most parents will not even know what a Brony is. WHAT EVER YOU DO, do not leave your parents to their own devices on the internet. DO NOT SAY, "look it up or google it" like I did. If you want to point them to the "Congratulations it's a Brony" that would be okay. BUT no leaving them alone to research!

Be patient, don't run and hide from the reaction of your parent. You are their child, they love you no matter what. Hiding from it will on make the gap larger.

Don't try to accomplish the "sell" of the Brony culture in one sitting, unless of course they are like "YAY"! If so, just break out the party cannon!

Be prepared for a long journey while they learn, do not get discouraged. Continue to show them the positives, communicate and give them space to come their senses!

Please know that parents opinions can change. Just continue to live the Brony way and they will see that it is a positive.

Be nice about wearing pony swag if it bothers your parents. (You don't have to not wear it, but be nice about wearing when you are with them)

Prepare to be ridiculed by your parents. Remember, they don't truly understand the Brony fans. Be prepared to explain to them what they are doing and how it makes you feel. Just don't do it back at them in a angry way, just tell them what they are doing and how it makes you feel.

Be prepared to be scrutinized by them, if they think this is a bad thing, they will look for the bad. Continue to show them the positive and prove to them you are the same person you were before.

Know that you have a friend in my mom now, send them to her if you feel like you cannot get through to them.

ASK them to attend a Con with you. BronyCon changed my mom completely. Ask them to experience it WITH you, but leave them to talk to other Bronies as well. Let them find out that you are not alone in your thinking. Let them figure out how great this fan base is. SO I say experience it with them, but give them space to enjoy and learn.

Don't allow yourself to be ostracized by your family. Keep your ground. Don't run and hide, education is key, if you are not talking, they are not learning. Make sure when they ask you something (no matter how embarrassing, no matter how much it doesn't fit in the Brony world) you are HONEST. If you don't tell them the truth, and they find out, they will think that everything you have told them about Brony is false or a cover up.

But most of all, remember to Love and Tolerate.

[bronymom]

One stranger's child pushed this BronyMom back into action. BroHoof Michael. I am praying for you

****BronyMom does NOT own the photo's in this Blog. BronyMom does not claim these photo's to be original. BronyMom is only sharing information by sharing these photo's.****

  Why now would I finally choose to start pro-actively pursuing my dream of helping to educate parents? Well let me tell you, it honestly is not a long story. Actually it is a sad story.

I learned, I educated myself, I found peace in the Brony world, I became a supportive BronyMom in my own home. I had left BronyCon on a mission to help educate other parents. I talked about it, but I never put my plan in motion. Then on January 30 of this year a link was forwarded to my Facebook page. It was link to a story about Michael Morones. As a matter of fact it was this link itself that made me cringe at my own indifference of the intolerance of people. http://www.gofundme.com/MichaelMoronesFund

This little 11 year old face staring at me.. in his eyes I saw every child who was a victim of bullying, a child asking for understanding.. I was so sad. I was so mad at myself for not following through. I talked to my own Brony, we sprung into action. We need to make a difference.

Bullying stops at HOME. We have to educate ourselves, our children and make it unacceptable in our own homes to have a lack of tolerance for other's beliefs and likes. We as parents, have to make it completely unacceptable to be a bully. We as parents have to make sure our children come home to a place of acceptance and tolerance. We cannot change what others will do out in the world, we can change how we address it at home. If a child is a victim of bullying, all to often they isolate themselves and take everything as an attack on their person. We need to make sure they are valuable to us, that their lives hold great value to many.

  I was appalled at this child's story. I decided that very day to start something. I can tell you my life exploded after that. A small step forward to help educate parents was so embraced by the Brony community on Twitter, that I soon had all kinds of information, offers and support from the Brony community that I already loved. My small step became a huge leap in about 3 days.

Now I have to pause here and say it is not just Michael who deserves support. It is every child who goes to school only to be ridiculed daily. Support need to go to those youngsters who cannot be who they truly are because of bullies. It is those children who cannot change flaws that they look in a mirror everyday to face. It is every child every where who feels isolated and tormented. Not just CHILDREN bullies but ADULT bullies.

Michael Morones has given me inspiration. Michael is the face of our children. NOT just our children who are Bronies, but every child, needing so badly to fit in, being tormented to the point that they no longer feel like their life is worthy of living.

Stay strong little Brony, this one is for you! You have changed this BronyMom. You have pushed me into action. I will draw on your strength and I will continue to pray for your recovery.

Please visit the following link....and please continue to PRAY FOR MICHAEL

http://www.michaelmorones.org/

/) * (\        .... BroHoof lil Brony!

**parents please remember, bullying starts and stops at home. Every child deserves to be heard. Every child deserves to be accepted. Every home should be an open communication environment. If you find you child is the bully, seek help. There is an underlying reason that you child has decided that path. If you child is the one being bullied, make a stand. Hold people responsible for it, violence begets violence, don't simply expect them to make their own stand.... Children deserve to know love and tolerate.

[bronymom]

Thank you so much for sharing your experiences. There's a lot of hate on Tumblr, and it's so good to see someone telling the world about the positive side of the Brony fandom. You are awesome :)

There is so much positive in this fan base, I felt like it was something that needed to addressed, It seems that as I did my original searches, there was not much out there for parents to get an understanding of what a Brony truly is. This saddens me, as I have found so much good. So much charity, so much true fellowship, so much true friendship. I have never been involved with so much acceptance in my entire life. Thank you for allowing this BronyMom to learn the true meaning of "Brony"

[bronymom]

I made this for you! I thought you might like it! 

[bronymom]

Hello! I'm a 16-year-old girl who used to be concerned by the fact that my boyfriend, who is 17, is a brony. Reading your posts about your son has opened my eyes and helped me get used to that side of my high school sweetheart. I just wanted to say thanks! :)

Thank you, it is truly not about Animated ponies, it is about values and morals. It is about learning to accept people for all they have to offer or all that they lack. It truly is about friendship and the 'love and tolerate" lifestyle. You will have a great man, who can look for positive to pass on to the world. This is what we ask of ourselves and our children. Be proud he is a Brony, for he is truly looking out for not only his future, but also, the future of anyone who is a part of his world!

[bronymom]

I respect what you're doing with supporting your son, I really do, but supporting bronies isn't something that is good. I don't think that you should be speaking so positively about a group of middle aged men who are wanking to purple horse.

First off, let me say I am sorry that you are living in such a perverted world that this is your perception of truth. If you search for dark of anything it can and will be found. So I guess my question is.. WHAT EXACTLY WERE YOU SEARCHING FOR when YOU came to this conclusion? The people who believe this have a sad existence, but it is only the truly IGNORANT that continue to spread it. I don't ask for you acceptance or support . AND I truly never want my son or his friends to come in contact with YOU!  I have learned long ago, some people's opinions are not worth my time. I do, however thank you, as I can surely use your lack of knowledge to my benefit here. So I guess, I have to say ... thank you for your lack of poise and grace.............  (but keep your not so wholesome self away from my son, as I truly have to wonder what type of person you are to have your thoughts in the gutter like this)

********PARENTS*********

Honestly, this is the face of true perversion at it's finest. The Brony community is NOT like this, yet grown people send to me how sick this group is, well who is the true pervert. The Bronies don't think this way, so it is the darkside of the general public that does. It is those who would do the evil things they accuse the Brony Community of doing, rather than truly the fan base they attack for being good. Parents, I ask of you, think about this.. The Brony community that I have found is NOT like this. So why would this good upstanding citizen be declaring different? Obviously, it is because this GOOD upstanding person has been trolling the disgusting side of life looking for something to "believe in".

AGAIN I STATE... if your child was not this type of person going into this fan base.. THEY STILL ARE NOT! This is why it is so important to educate yourself and not rely on unreliable sources who are trolling the darkside of life. I will not hide the ignorance that people whispered into my ear while I was a new Brony parent. I will not hide that this type of ignorant belief runs rampant in the general public. What I will ask of you is .. think.. does any of what that ANONYMOUS person stated truly fit in the lifestyle of your child? I look at this crap as it is.... Haters are going to HATE... just learn to Love and Tolerate the ignorant.

[bronymom]

Confessions of a Bad Brony Parent. Welcome to the Enlightened Side!!

June becomes very work involved for me and if passes quickly. Without school to interrupt the Brony, he falls into video games and some time with friends. Not as much as before, but hey, at least I feel like he is making a effort. We fall into our routine of my love and tolerate routine. I will accept that which I cannot change. I will do my best to be a good parent, on all levels. I have learned that doesn't have to include complete understanding, it simply means acceptance of what I cannot change with grace.

The beginning of July my Brony turns 16. A time for reflection for a mother! He asks for the most insane gift. The Pony Fair is coming to Indianapolis. He has found it my accident and he wants to go. Okay, so I am up for a strange adventure. He needs me to come along! So we go, we buy one day passes at the door. He would have liked to do Sunday as well, but I just couldn't see it.

I learn so much here, but I learned so much more on the way to the small convention in actually having conversation with my son. My most important lesson is I learn that my son is still within my reach.

It is here that the BronyCon blogs start.... babysteps to Baltimore..

http://bronymom.tumblr.com/post/75745867369/a-parents-journey-to-bronycon-part-1-baby-steps-to

I look back on the non-acceptant phase of my brony experience now and shake my head. I was so blind and so easily swayed by the lack of public acceptance that I didn't care to take time to educate myself. I sincerely hope that with my upcoming project, I can help parents to not hide from this. YES there will always be IGNORANCE in people who refuse the to see the true meaning. I get this in my "fan mail" everyday. But ultimately, this group on a whole is GOOD. This group epitomizes everything that we try to instill in our children from they time the are toddlers.  

I am in complete support of this group, I cannot say the same for my support of the general public! Would you like to know how.... I took the time to educate myself. I took the time to really look at this group of fans. I wanted to figure it out, I wanted to see if what was being said was the truth of this fan base on a whole. You know what. It wasn't. They are not as they are portrayed, they are good people who choose to find the good in the world. They are not deviant. This fan base is not based on sexuality, nor is it a sexual attraction to cartoon ponies (anyone who would have you believe this is uneducated and blatant in their ignorance). It is based on good values and morals. It is based on friendship and acceptance of all.

I was a work in progress, they all took the time to help me. They did not judge my ignorance, they simply accepted that I was who I was. I was once one of the ignorant people of the general public. So, Brony parents, shut out the ignorance, open your hearts and do your OWN true research. Do not just accept what some ignorant hater would have you believe, those who would have you believe that this is dark and bad. Honestly, did you raise your child (no matter their age now) to be a deviant? So if you answered no to that, what makes you think they are now? This is a group of people searching for ways to love and tolerate a sick world. It is a fandom of people who's choice is to have morals and values. Our sick general public is so used to the evils that are, they just cannot accept that there could possibly be young people out there who embrace a positive lifestyle, these people take the most good things and turn them into something horrible. I only ask, as a positive Brony parent, that you take the time to think it through, educated yourself, do not judge your son or daughter (no matter the age) and truly make your own educated decisions. Shut off the true deviance of the Brony haters (who obviously search for dark rocks to lurk under so that they can feed their own sickness) and look at your Brony in the light and trust that they deserve. Educate, accept, love and tolerate. You have your own mind and heart....use them wisely.

[bronymom]

Confessions of a Bad Brony Parent. Love and Tolerate it.. I love him so I will tolerate IT.

Coming off my horrible happy place experience has put me in my place. I love my Brony, so I will tolerate this darn Brony thing until it goes away. I am NOT on board at this moment. Just going to accept the fact I cannot control it.

I am trying to understand, I am not being very successful of it, but I am at the very least making an attempt. Life is to short to not. One windy day on the beach taught me that. I will not make snide comments about the Brony factor that is always looming over my head. I will try to be more supportive if someone says off color things. TRY being my key word. I am committed to my son, but not the whole Brony culture thing.

My Brony seems somewhat happier now. A bit more forthcoming with information about the "school experiences" of being a Brony. To be honest with you, they just make me mad. Make me mad at that school for failing to make a safe environment for my child. Mad that he cannot leave the Brony part at home and make school a learning environment only for himself. He tells me.."Mom, it's to late for that, they all know, and they are not going to let it die. So why should I not be myself. At least I am happy with myself!" touché.

I have come to truce with Dashie the backpack. She grins at me from behind my Brony, and I endure it. I now have come to the conclusion that my distain for Dashie is not the stuffed pony she is, it is what she represents, and what she represents is the Brony Culture on a whole for me. She has become the brunt of my feelings for this whole fandom. I must deal with the fact that Dashie will be a part of my life as long as the Brony is a Brony.

I have now quit asking him to leave the fandom, thinking foolishly, that surely this will be coming to an end on it's own very soon. I have raised children before, nothing lasts for long in their lives before they move on to the next mission. Hence the attic full of toys that the boy just had to have and left behind.

I pray for a quick May. I just want the Brony out of school and out of torment for the summer. He talks to me now about the horrible things being said to him. My guts twist in agony when he does. I know that this isn't new...it cannot be. He asks me to not get involved. He knows I will NOT handle it in a Brony type way. I give him that much. I pray I am doing the right thing. (later I would realize, he just needed to voice his pain, and with all that had happened in our last few months, he was at least having the sympathetic mother's ear...more than he had before)

I tried to not be so judgmental, for I finally realized he was not only being judged in public and school, but I was guilty of it too. I have to admit here, I still totally blamed the fandom for all of this. This Brony crap had led me to judge my own son. This Brony crap had led me to not be a good parent. This Brony crap was CRAP. It was easy to blame someone or something else for my own shortcomings .. it was easier for me to accept what I had done in the shadow that they had caused it. It was easier for me to tie it up in a pretty little Brony box and slap a bow of guilt on the entire fandom.

The Brony did his part as well, on major family outings, Dashie stayed home. The Brony ball cap did not. But, hey, the Pony did! When his sister (who had overcome almost dying) graduated college against all odds this same year, Dashie stayed home. The Brony started picking and choosing better as the where it was acceptable to wear his buddy, and I was quick to acknowledge and praise.

We had found a happy medium. He would be a Brony.. he would love and tolerate the entire world. I would be his mother, I would love him and tolerate the dang ponies and the DVR having a child's show recorded on it. I still did not see why he would choose to love this show. I still did not realize why he would want to be associated with cartoon ponies. I still did not understand the great importance of this in his life. He knew that, he just kept quiet and allowed me my space with it. He just kept to what he believed in and prayed that I would come to understand. I assured him I would NEVER understand. I could not understand why grown men would sit around and watch a little kid show on HUB. I had never watched on. I had no intent on doing so. This was a child's show and I did not have time for it. I prayed he would mature quickly out of this phase. I prayed my son would grow up and realize that there was not a cartoon on this planet that was worth your self-esteem. To me, that was what was happening. This show and this fandom was ruining all he was. He was but a shell of what he was before the admission of Brony. So I just sat back and tolerated from a distance. Biding my time. WAITING...as patiently as I could.

[bronymom]

Confessions of a Bad Brony Parent. Dashie goes to the Beach.

March closes on a note of chaos. Our pre-planned spring break trip is coming up. I juggle on the do we go, or not issue for a long time. The sister has assured me she needs time to reconnect with her baby. The grandparents have assured me that they will be with the recovering sister (who by the way is doing wonderfully) and they tell me we should go. With the support of our family, we pack up the suburban for a trip to Panama City Beach. This is going to be good. I need a break from life. I need to go to my Happy Place!

Our spring break players will be, myself, dad, brony, oldest brony sister and 2 year old brony niece. Oh and don't forget... DASHIE ..dun da dah.

We place everything that we will need for a fun filled vacation on the beach in the Suburban and set out for a secluded beach cottage in Florida. I leave with visions of clear aqua water and white sand. Days of shelling and sun with the Brony and his niece. Fun Fun Fun! I always dread the drive there and the drive back. It is normally a boring 14 hours. I am sure it will be even longer since we have the two year old in tow. But she is EXCITED. We cannot get there soon enough. The Brony is normally just as excited. Not so much this year. This saddens me. I start to think he has outgrown being my beach buddy. He is always the first I pick if I plan a beach trip. He is always the one who will spend the day on the beach enjoying sand and surf with me. It seems this could be the year that has turned.

The first stop we make, everyone piles out of the truck. All needing a break from the cramped confines of the vehicle. The last out is the backseat dweller..the Brony. We are all headed away from the truck with baby in tow to change diapers, get drinks and stretch. I turn to look. Now, I am going to ask you all to imagine .. and I am sure you can ..the video of a model shoot. You know the ones where they slow everything down to slow motion to give you that wow factor. Well that was what my world went to. The Brony is standing by the truck, Dashie flying gleefully towards her spot on his back glaring grin my way. Zapped back to the real world. Brony waltzes  by my now still form with Dashie bouncing in full joy on his back. I swear that stupid pony laughs at my discomfort. I quickly pick of the pace.."dude, what are you doing!!"  "Umm going to get a drink",  "No.. you know", (head nod at the backpack), "Well, Mom, it's mine and I am wearing it." Brony stomps off and I stand in silence. AWESOME, he brought the backpack. Sister and dad walk by, stating I should leave it alone. That we don't need drama on the trip. REALLY..me drama??? I am not the one waltzing around with a stuffed pony on my back!

And so it goes, for every stop. Restroom breaks, restaurants, fuel stops whenever the Brony comes out of the truck, so does Dashie. Hugging on to the Brony like he is her bestie. Weaseling her way into my family like my fourth child. Smiling ever so knowingly at me, myself glaring back at my adversary. Please God, help me make it through this trip without burying that thing in the sand someplace, never to be seen again.

Just outside of Birmingham, our first major set back. The truck loses part of our transmission. No place open to get it repaired, the Brony dad decides he will limp it as far as he can and if need be abandon it. WHAT!! I am sick to my stomach. We are facing abandoning our truck (which means we will have to buy something else when we come home) or facing HUGE repair bills where ever we can limp it to... GAHHHHHH. All the time Dashie smiling away without a care in the world. 

Dad makes it all the way to PCB. We will find someplace to get it fixed. Enterprise Rental Car and Gears Transmissions put our vacation back on pace. (now, none of this would have been possible with out at back drop of family support back home. I mean, I didn't plan to have to move money around to support a huge repair bill. This is a lesson in family support that I should have drawn on for my Brony. This is the type of support that was afforded me, but I was not returning to my own child)

As the vacation goes, it rains, it is cold, the transmission is shot, the surf is unwelcoming and my Happy Place has become the most sad existence ever. The Brony never wants to leave his room. He is not about going to be beach. We are simply co-existing. Dashie is placed upon his back for EVERY family outing. Although, no one in our party seems to notice except me. (oh and the toddler who loves to play with the stupid pony)

The Brony does his best to entertain his niece when it is storming, as he knows storms are scary at home for her and this must be terrifying her. I stand back and watch this, realizing that my son is definitely still in there somewhere. This is who he was before..before the Brony world swallowed him whole. Dashie is a play thing for the toddler and an identity beacon for the Brony. In her time of fear, he gladly hands over his most prized possession. This boy, even though he thinks I don't see, still amazes me.

The vacation goes from bad to worse, as the main road in front of our cottage is blocked and sirens are blaring like crazy. We walk to the road, we see nothing out of sorts. So we assume all is well under control. Later that night breaking news, a boy 16 years old has died on the beach. Visiting from our home state with a youth group from church. Walked out of the surf and collapsed. Died on scene. Parents not here. Parents not far from our hometown getting a call from a youth minister. Parents never seeing their child again. My stomach tightened with hurt. A child never going home. I talk to my son that night. I mean really sat down and talked. It had been a long time. The word Brony did not come up. Dashie on his back looked almost melancholy. He said to me, "mom take comfort in the fact that he knew God. He was here on vacation with his youth group. I know boys his age that I would be fearful if the same had happened. Those who would bully and be mean spiteful young men. This boy knew how to have a positive life. I know some that are angry souls that should not leave our world that way." I hug the Brony proud of his insight. Dashie inadvertently drying my tears. My son, my life, I cannot let this moment go. I must find my way back to him. I must fight my way back into his life.

I am ready to take my family (and Dashie) and go home. I have promised myself things will be different. I ask the Brony to have patience with me. I will TRY. 

We leave the beach, with my knowing, my happy place will never be the same for me. I learned that life can be just as crazy and distressing in your happy place as it is in your normal existence. To this day, the allure of the Beach is not there for me. (maybe I have moved into bigger and better things thanks to my Brony!) All I am sure of is happiness is where you make it. It isn't a time or place, it is a lifestyle.

[bronymom]

excuse me, I sent you an ask some time ago about the darker side of Bronies and I would really like your input. I would also be willing to come off anon if you were willing to have an open discussion about this

I am more than willing to have a conversation about this. I plan to do a whole series on this. I have a plan for this blog site. I would rather not place this particular item in the first of my series, as it simply does not fit here. I am not ignoring you, I promise! As a matter of fact I have saved your comments, as I wish to use them in that series of blogs. At the moment I am simply relaying my introduction to this topic. It does not fit. I have no intention of not addressing this, by not addressing it, it makes it appear as if I am trying to hide something. That will not be the case with these blogs. I have went in eyes wide open. I did not address the first comment, as it makes me publish this to my blog site and I have no intention of allowing it to be hijacked away from my own personal purpose. I am very new to tumblr and I simply need to stay in control of my own site. So please know that I do intend to address it. I do intend to be brutally honest with it. I will not hide what parents need to know. I would like to talk to you about this, as I can tell you must have a personal experience or need to be addressed in a public form. I would, however like to address it in my own time. I want to educate myself on all aspects of this before I address parents about it. Thank you for understanding this.  

[bronymom]

Confessions of a Bad Brony Parent! Perception is EVERYTHING

*this was how I saw the next few months of my life, it was all based on perception, and we all know that perception is everything in the moment. I know these were wrong but ultimately they did help me find a better understanding*

Our lives now fall in to a dreadful pattern. The Brony has, of course, at this time come out of his Brony closet and the entire community knows. His friends know, his classmates know, our family knows. Everyone is aware, but I cannot bring myself to accept it, or defend it. Whenever someone asks me about it, I simply say, "you know teenagers it is a phase or fad." I refuse to talk to people about the Brony status of our household. I know absolutely nothing about it, except for cartoon ponies and all the bad that I had found on my initial internet search. Moreover, I didn't want to know or learn. I just wanted it to go away.

His friends act indifferent to it, when they come around. Which is almost never. If he tries to talk to me about it I change the subject, though I rarely see him anymore. He comes home from school and heads directly to his room. His school work is faltering, he is so darn interested in his ponies he isn't keeping up. His classmates ridicule him and call him every vulgar form of the word "gay" that there is. When he tries to talk to me about it, instead of doing what I should, I tell him to quit wearing the stuff, quit acting in a way that makes them question your sexuality, ending with what do you expect. He walks around telling people he is Brony, wearing all this MLP stuff. He goes to school with farm boys. These boys break horses, not wear them. (hindsight here, this kills me to think I allowed him to suffer this without my support, now I want to break there little rednecks) I should have taken a stand beside him. Instead, I warned him that by wearing these things he was asking to have the crap beat out of him. He no longer is happy with life. He no longer finds things to do with people from school. The Brony is hardly ever out in the real and now. When I ask him to go places with me, he tells me he is busy.

This stupid fandom was risking my sons very existence. These guys that were supposed to be all love and tolerate, would have my son served up for a good old fashion lynching. I cannot understand the draw for him to this fandom. Obviously he was a happier young man before the Brony life. He talks to some guys on the internet, my fist thought, this is great, he has no idea who he is talking to, probably some creepers that will drag him even farther down or worse.

My son is falling apart at the seams. He is but a shell of who he once was. My happy go lucky child is now sad and distressed. He lives a life of complete solitude. He walks with no spunk in his step. He simply shuffles through life. This Brony stuff is taking it's toll on him. He is about to be completely lost. I am at my wits end. I am losing my child to this dark fandom of men. I sometimes wonder if my child is so lost that he cannot be found again. I feel like his life is laying around me in ruins. This Brony stuff has become my worst nightmare. I am beginning to wonder if I will ever have my son back. I know I have to figure this out. I just don't even know where to start. The internet was not kind to me on my last search. My son barely speaks to anyone anymore. I have no place to turn. All I can do is pray this phase passes quickly.

Winter is coming to a close, with that brings new hope. Spring! I am sure he will want to spend more time with his friends once the weather breaks! March opens with a renewed hope for me. I am sure that with the closing of winter, there will be no way he wants to stay indoors. We will surely be headed in the right direction.

Our family in general has a huge set back the month of March. Our Brony has to learn to deal with how horrible life can turn in a instant. His 24 year old sister has a simple surgery, wisdom teeth removed. Within 36 hours of a "routine" procedure, she is on life support, fighting to survive. Seems a lack of antibiotics from her oral surgeon led to sepsis. I am living at a hospital with my daughter and her fiancée. The Brony is at home helping take care of his niece. He steps up, he comes back out of his shell. He does whatever is asked of him. I sit in that hospital room, listening to the sounds of the ventilator and the monitors. I am so far from the Brony world right now, that I almost forget I have that issue at all. The Brony begs to be driven to the hospital, he needs to see with his own eyes. He stands next to the bed where his sister is lifeless, machines making her body work. Aware of the risk our family is in, he walks up to that ICU bed, holds her tethered hand and cries. He knows all to well the dangers we are facing. For a brief moment I wish he could escape to Equestria, away from the reality facing us. The next few weeks will be spent in hospitals, and then in trying to get his sister back to speed. We pull together as a family. No pony left behind. While the sister is in hospital, finally awake finally responding she talks to me. She tells me, mom, seriously you have to stop being so hard on the PonyBoy. You have to understand this is something he believes in. Seriously mom, think about it, he isn't doing anything wrong or bad. BOY, the drugs must be messing with this girl. She has no idea how wrong her perception of this situation is.

When we are finally able to come home we find the Brony is not quite back to the boy he was before, but he is also no longer running from me. Life has changed. But, we are all together.

The sister has started to get better, The Brony is spending more time downstairs with the rest of the family. The family is starting to act like a family! Dashie the backpack has for the first time seen an element of harmony in her new family. I notice a turn in the Brony. He seems less Bronified in his attire and in how he handles himself in public. It feels toned down. It feels more calm. Perception is everything, but who's perception.

**I want to take a moment here (just in case a parent has started to read in the middle of these to explain a few things) I need to stress that the BRONY lifestyle and culture had nothing to do with my son's issues, it was simply my perception of things. My inability to look at the whole picture of my life, my inability to take responsibility for my own actions. Please continue reading to find the complete and true story**

[bronymom]

Confessions of a Bad Brony Parent! Attack of the Dashie Hug me backpack

Christmas has come and past. Dashie the Hug Me Backpack has become the Brony's most prized possession. It is EVERYWHERE. He takes it with him like it is his best friend. I cringe every time I look at the crazy thing. There it is, with that cute plastered grin. That you were so wrong, I won this..grin. How is it possible that my son will not be separated from a backpack? How did it happen that this backpack, that my family assured me would be a room decoration, became a part of my every waking moment. Dashie sitting in a chair. Dashie hanging next to the door. Dashie on his back. Dashie Dashie Dashie stuck to him like glue.

I am constantly asking him to please take it upstairs. I use any excuse I can think of (always putting it in dire circumstances if he doesn't). What if the dogs chew it up. What if the babies get it and ruin it. What if, What it, What if. Ultimately I know it's not going anywhere, I just keep praying this will be the day he decides he is over dragging the backpack along.

The backpack becomes his way to come out to the world that he is a Brony. It becomes a way to show the world who he is and what he is about. Dashie has become his symbol of bronyism. (and he would have to have the rainbow one) Dashie is his flagrant way of putting himself on display, and he has never been happier. I on the other hand have never been more distraught. Stupid little stuffed pony is making me nuts.  

It goes to school with us in the car, now mind you, it doesn't go into the school as he can only have one backpack and it is not large enough to carry books and such. Besides that we mustn't risk Dashie being destroyed in a locker smooshing accident. No Dashie must either stay at the grandparent's house for that will be where the bus drops him off, or ride along with me to work. GRRRRR. Yes, I have on several occasions looked into my rearview mirror, only to find that adorable little creature sitting, glaring at me, from the backseat. Taunting me.. My little nemesis. I have thought about ditching the backpack on the occasion we are left in the car alone. I have given serious thought to how to explain it away. I am not that horrible of a person, so I do not act. Little Dashie smiles her all knowing smile from the backseat. She knows what I want to do, she also knows I will not do it.

On the weekends, he wears the backpack nonstop. I swear I think he wears the darn thing to sleep. If he is going for a walk, so is Dashie. If he is going to shoot airsoft, Dashie is his second in command. Going to Church, well Dashie must be the head of the Choir. So much for keeping this out of the public spotlight. When we get ready to go someplace I wince as Dashie is placed on his back. I ask for him to leave it. When I do, it goes but it doesn't leave the car. If I don't ask, it gets worn in. People stare. Brony doesn't care, I do.

The backpack smiles gleefully along. Always flipping smiling at my embarrassment. Yes, I admit it, embarrassment. I cringe when I see a client walking in my direction. I swear I can almost read their minds. What the heck is wrong with her kid. How old is he. What is he wearing. Why does she let him wear that thing in public. He wears his pony swag with grace, if only I could handle it gracefully. My grace is by ignoring. I act like that backpack does not exist. People probably think I am just as crazy. I offer no explanation, I simply ignore it. I simply ignore the snide remarks under the breaths of others. The snickers, the whispered voicing of disapproval, the stares or worse yet the outright comments to his face. (now really I should have stood up for my son, I love him, I love everything about him. Hindsight is 20/20) I excused my behavior by reassuring myself, I told him this would happen. I told him people would not accept it. I told him to not put himself out there. He has to learn to conform to public opinion. If he wants to be accepted, he has to "fit in". He doesn't care how big the venue, or how small the gathering, Rainbow Dash is invited. As a matter of fact, Rainbow Dash it he guest of honor, because, heaven knows that not one person can miss it!

What I thought was I was doing so right on Christmas, was destroying my sanity. This Christmas gift that was my Brony's most prized possession was becoming my own personal nightmare. Looking back at it now, I am sure that the backpack to him was a symbol I was coming around. To him that backpack meant that I was at the very least trying to understand and accept. In reality, that backpack had become my arch-enemy. My world was crumbling out of my control, and the pony just grinned through it all.

Yes, That Rainbow Dash Hug Me Backpack was always there, always looming in the shadows of my life. Lurking, staring, grinning... waiting for the right time. Waiting to attack.

[bronymom]

Confessions of a Bad Brony Parent! All I want for Christmas is ... MLP???

My Brony came to me with his disclosure in order to make his Christmas wish list a bit easier for me to understand. Christmas of 2011 had been filled with airsoft guns, video games and Vans. This was a typical teenage boy's Christmas list. I spent hours pouring over AirSplat in search of the perfect airsoft gun. Visions of  A Christmas Story in my head (you'll shoot your eye out). Now, it is 2012 and life has changed. He still loves his airsoft guns, he also now loves PONIES. The Christmas list is full of Brony t-shirts, sweatshirts, mlp figures and a backpack (dun da dah). I now spend my hours staring at We Love Fine. I just don't know if I can do it. His sisters are on board. They have already started planning the perfect Christmas gifts. They have no problems with t-shirts with MLP adorned all over them. They see no problems with plushies and figures. So, why do I?

I sit there, looking over We Love Fine and Hot Topic. I am sick to my stomach. My BOY wants things to place on his body and tell the world "I AM A BRONY", moreover, he wants me to finance it. I feel like scrooge. I don't want to buy this stuff, and yet this is all he has put on his list. I need a compromise. I call to the Brony. I need him to honestly look at this stuff. I need him to honestly tell me he is crazy enough to wear this stuff. Sure I see the models wearing it, but I know for a fact they were paid to act like they loved it. Seriously, there is no way any male would wear this..right? WRONG, my son wants it. I compromise with myself, I have to give him a good Christmas, so I compromise Keep Calm and Brony On. Okay, it's a slogan, maybe people will simply ignore it.

Then his eyes sparkle..THERE IT IS! The backpack. I really want that, he points the screen. It looks like a stuffed animal you put on your back. REALLY! How old are you! No mom, it's for adults. I think there is no way this is for adults. I go to the description. OH WOW, it's for adults. Fits up to a men's 3X, a pocket for your cellphone or IPod. No way dude. Not happening. No stuffed animal backpacks. I cannot make myself want to buy this. He is disappointed, I can tell. I am a jerk. He leaves the room looking like I just kicked his dog (or dashed his pony).

 I compromise with the Rainbow Dash sweatshirt (yes the one that has the wings and rainbow mane) and two Keep Calm shirts he wants. Hoping he will not wear them in public. I order the items, then off to amazon .. I want to surprise him with a Key Board. I know he can teach himself to play it, he is awesome like that. I need to get away from these pony toys and clothes. Maybe we should try a new airsoft gun as well!

Days pass, that darn Rainbow Dash hug me backpack is looming in the back of my mind. I know he wants it. I have never ever not given the most prized gift. I have never in his entire life, not been the hero at Christmas. (except for the year his sister wanted a REAL pony) I talk to the sisters, I talk to the dad, I talk to the grandparents, everyone is in agreement. Get the Hug Me backpack. It will probably be a room decoration. Why had I not realized that! He wasn't going to wear it, he was going to display it! Oh crisis adverted. (Looking back here, they all knew the truth of what the outcome would be, I was only fooling myself)

I order the backpack. Both relief and regret as I hit submit. My consolation, I will still hold the queen of the Christmas gifts!

I come home to THE box sitting on the front porch. I open the box and peer in. There it is..wrapped up like a prize in We Love Fine tissue paper. I take it out carefully, like I was going to awaken the sleeping dragon. I unwrap it slowly. There it is.. There is Rainbow Dash smiling at me in victory. Stupid pony! What have I done! I place it back in the paper, back in the box. I mull over the fact I could send it back. Return label included. NO. I am victorious here. I wrap it, put it under the tree. Then, as soon as the Brony gets home I point to the gifts placed there with his name on them. I have no way to back out now. He is aware there are wrapped gifts for him. I know this is for my own peace of mind. It takes away that urge to return it.

Christmas eve, he opens the Rainbow Dash sweatshirt. He is in heaven! He walks around like he owns his own little piece of Equestria. He wears it to the family Christmas party. Deep breathing, and the knowledge it is only family helps me. This is his extended family, surely no one will judge. Wrong. Cousins ridicule, snickers behind his back, blatant what are you wearing! This is exactly what I thought would happen, just not here! He doesn't care. He prances around proudly in his Dashie sweatshirt. I am ready for the party to be done. (hindsight, I should have not said, I told you so. I should have told those idiots of our family to shut up and deal with it in their own PRIVATE way)

Christmas morning comes, he is excited about all the gifts he opens. The keyboard and gun, both HITS. Then the box, the prized gift, I know Rainbow Dash is smirking buried deep in that wrapping paper. I know victory is about to be handed over to ponies. I have watched his reaction to every MLP gift this year. He tears the paper, he carefully opens the box. He is elated! Dashie is victorious! To my dismay, he jumps up, hugs the backpack to himself and puts it on. Crap. Then he runs to me, wraps his arms around me and says thank you mom. THANK YOU. I LOVE IT. I LOVE YOU. Well now, that was a brief view of my son. That was a glimpse of what I once had!

I am unsure if I am defeated or best mom ever. I know, somehow, my love hate relationship with Dashie the backpack was not over. I glare Dashie staring over his shoulder, Dashie smiles ever so cute back at me.

Merry Christmas Brony. You win this round! Mom will take the loss today, after all it is Christmas.