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@broodyal
You could’ve gone and helped other people. I would’ve found my way back eventually. Yeah, a little. Pain’s gone now, anyway.
No one matters more to me than you do, Daisy. It wouldn't have felt right if I let you fend for yourself. That's good, that's great. Is it good enough that you can swim again?
Don’t you think I’ve tried? It’s all I ever do Al. I try to be better, I try to control it, but I can’t. No matter what I do, I just can’t. There’s just… there’s more to it than you realize. Millie’s jaw tightened, her anxiety escalating. You can’t do this to me, Al. I can’t do this. I can’t handle going back and forth the way we are. I thought I could until now. Until you decided to change your mind again. I was never trying to fix you, Al. I only wanted to help you fix yourself. You know why? Because I cared about you. That’s what made all of this worth it. I cared enough to not give up, to let certain things slide, even to risk my life for you. Nothing, okay? It’s nothing.
You don't think I know better than anyone else about control and keeping my anger in check? I just -- I don't want you to end up like me, consumed by my guilt, or worse: dead. I just want you to be happy, genuinely happy for once in your life. Al's stance stiffened, his free hand trembling slightly at her words. Then don't, you don't have to do this. I never asked you to care or do anything for me, Millie. If I'm the reason why you're unhappy sometimes, you don't have to keep me around. Just tell me and I'll leave again. I just don't want you to get stuck in something that you thought you wanted but eventually realize that I'm everything you don't need in your life. I don't want you to get stuck... Loving someone who's far too broken to love you back the way you need someone to. You don't have to be here, playing what if with me when you can be so much happier with someone, anyone else. It's not nothing, stop saying that.
Daisy and I are different. She’s a lot stronger than I am. She can deal with the pressure a lot better than I can. She might have made a mistake in the past but she won’t ever again. I can’t say the same for myself, and it’s not a risk worth taking. Millie took a step back, a crease forming between her brows. You’re not serious, are you? You’re really going to play that card again? After everything we’ve been through? I don’t have much of a past, that’s why. I’m an only child, a grew up with both of my parents, we were one big happy family. That’s it. I… yes, okay.
Learn from your mistakes. Learn from everyone else's mistakes too, Millie. You've seen what we're all capable of, just don't lose control of it. Don't let that anger manifest and take hold of you. I know you'll know when to stop, I know you better than that. Al let out a sigh, his hand moving to the back of his neck as he looked away. Yes, I'm going to play that card and I'm going to keep playing it until you realize that I'm right. You can't fix me, Millie, no matter how much you want to try. I'm just not meant for any of this, for you. If you're one big happy family... What broke you? What made you so quiet and sad all the time?
I don’t know if there’ll be a next time. I don’t think anyone wants to take that risk again. As much as I want to help, it’s probably for the best if I sit out if there a similar situation arises. Something, anything would have been nice. I was left with nothing, Al. W-What do you mean? You could’ve You don’t give yourself nearly enough credit. I…okay.
You can't always sit out, you know that. Even Daisy is trying these days, she lit her arm on fire to prove a point to me. I want you to stay safe and sit on the sidelines, but everyone being attacked the other day just proves that you can't just sit in the back. I needed time, I needed space to convince myself that... That I'm not the best thing for you and maybe we should just be friends. I -- Think you're a beautiful and wonderful girl, but... But there's a lot of buts if anything really happened. I told you everything, Millie, I told you about my past and the only thing I know about yours is what happened with Daisy. I tried to do it by myself, don't you think I would've tried before I agreed to get in the car?
I know, but that doesn’t make me feel any less guilty. Maybe if I had tried a little harder or something, I wouldn’t have screwed up. But there’s not much I can do about it now, I suppose. So you just left without a word instead of talking to me about it? Al, don’t. You don’t have to sugar coat what happened. The most helpful thing I did that day was running to the bathroom.
It's practice for next time, right...? I mean, hopefully, there won't be a next time, but if there is, I would hope that you would do better. No, not hope, I know you'd do better. I didn't really know what to say, Millie. You know that I don't ever really know what to say. I -- I liked you, I told you everything I could, but it feels like... It feels like I still don't know you at all. I'm not trying to sugar coat anything, I'm trying to tell you that what you did mattered because I couldn't have done it alone. I couldn't have, but you helped me. You helped everyone, please just know and accept that.
I’ve just- I’ve never harnessed that much power outside of training before. Even if I had, I-I don’t do well in stressful situations like that. Can I? Because lately I haven’t been able to. You don’t have to do that. You don’t have to lie. I know I screwed up.
I know -- It takes a lot from you to be able to do something like that, I was petrified my first time too... Especially knowing something was riding on my shoulders. It's okay. I haven't been the best, um, friend recently, but you can. A lot of things happened and I wasn't sure what we were and I don't know, but it's fine now. You didn't screw up. You stumbled and fell a little, but you picked yourself back up and helped me. That's what matters.
I… don’t know. More because my powers are being weird actually. Transferring injuries rather than healing properly. I don’t know who caused the original injury. But They tried. You helped calm the storm. That’s more than most people. Most of us were just trying to get out.
Have you gone to see someone about that? Maybe it's a side effect of you using it too much that day. Is it still acting up? I... Didn't really have much of a choice on that part, but yeah. People panic, it happens, I suppose.
Yeah, sort of. Could’ve been worse though. How’d you fare?
Because of... Them? I was helping out with calming the storm, so I wasn't in the area. I'm fine, I just wish I could've done something more.
I-It was a rough day, to say the least. I just had a moment of weakness is all. But I’m as good as I can be. You did really well, you know. I was proud of you.
I was scared too, Millie... But I wasn't like that. You know that you can always come to me, right? I know we haven't really -- Been ourselves recently, but you can. I couldn't have done what we did without your help, I hope you know that too.
I’m alright. A little tired, but fine. What about you?
Are you sure? You seemed... Distressed the last time we were around each other. I'm good, I think. Also tired, but a little more myself.
As if anyone can right now.
Misery loves company, I guess. I'm surprised Bella isn't here.
Honestly, a bit tired and rather sore. But I’ll survive.
Oh, did you get hurt during the... Erm, storm?
I never really do. You know that.
-- Right. How are you, um, feeling? We didn't really get the chance to speak after everything...
No, not really. Are you alright?
Yeah, I'm -- I'm good. What about you?
...Can't sleep either?
"There is nothing in my schedule that can’t wait a few hours. So let’s forget about how I’m not like usual people and how your humor isn’t like most people and let’s just have fun. And I’m really hoping you know what that is, and that ‘not like most people’ doesn’t mean you find humor in kitten torture or something like that. "
"You'd put off things for someone you barely know? That's really kind of you to do. Don't worry, I'm not demented or anything. It's just a lot harder for me to smile than for most people, call it a force of habit since childhood or something."
I’m just glad to know you’re okay. And thanks for coming to get me.
Of course, I couldn't just leave you in the woods. How's your leg? Are you feeling better?
