i really really need to just fucking say something itâs killing me absolutely fucking killing me. itâs incredibly rude that you said we were going to do things today and then 20 minutes before i got off work you decided you were going to north carolina with safwan and no matter how many times i texted you never responded and never told me that you came back and then went and did our plans that we had with gavin instead of me and just ghosted me the whole fucking time. the fact that you keep ghosting me while with gavin is a whole new fucked up situation and i just want you to know that youâre a piece of shit who doesnât care about anyoneâs feelingâs except the man whoâs currently giving you the best dick and nobody could ever love you and i wish i could say youâre gonna die alone but i would never be so lucky to see you get what you deserve. i want you to fucking hurt like i hurt but thereâs just no fucking way to do that so i donât know where to go from here. i hate you with every fucking thing in me every though i canât live without you and iâm in too deep to stop now. thereâs nothing i can say about you that you donât already know, that i havenât encouraged, and that just makes it worse. weâre not the same. weâre so fucking different. but you fucking know that donât you, you probably talk to gavin about how much of a pathetic asshole i really am while youâre ignoring me for hours. maybe iâm the fucking crazy one. why did you ghost me all of monday and then when we hung out you tiptoed around mentioning going to dc with gavin at all. why do you fucking treat me this way. why are you still ignoring me. i wonât even still be this mad when i see you in nearly a week so i wonât even say anything passive aggressive. why am i not allowed to be in the same room as you and gavin anymore? thatâs fucking weird. why do i feel like youâre both against me? the least you can do is tell me nothings happening plans are cancelled. why does erhan get to go and i donât? i wonât hear from you tomorrow until you go to work, if you ever do, and iâll act nice but i wonât see you for days. i knew this was going to happen. the moment you said north carolina i knew that you would come back here and gavin would immediately take all of your time possible until one of you has to go to work. iâm so lonely. how did i become a 3rd party? when did i get pushed completely to the side? why am i so upset? why do you treat me this way?
