Since the death of my laptop, thus losing all the chapters I had been working on for my various stories, I’m severely drowning with a lack of *writing. This drabble occurred from my work computer because…work. From my Mpreg idea that I’d been poking around, this emerged…
*It’s just a drabble! I have no clear plans on starting a fic, but, dang, writing this certainly was fun!
:: ::: ::
Awkwardly, Sanji looked down at himself, feeling light-headed. The group of Heart Pirates gathered there stared back at him with similar expressions, waiting for his reaction. Their surgical gear glowed softly under the lights, machinery ready for use at their hands. Chopper stared at him with wide eyes, holding his breath.
“Okay,” he conceded, hearing the whoosh of air that everyone must have been holding during those tense moments.
All of them turned and congratulated each other, hugging one another merrily, wiping eyes, prancing with joy over his decision. Chopper’s overjoyed tears finally burst forward, and he dropped to his knees, hooves on the floor.
“‘tch,” Law muttered, looking let down as he lowered his gloved hands to his side. Bepo swatted him over the head.
“Captain!” he scolded.
“But!” Sanji interrupted their celebration, all of them pausing in stiff motion, “I ain’t nobody’s science experiment! I will not be treated as such!”
“‘tch,” Law muttered again, shoulders drooping.
Nervously, Sanji picked at the buttons of his shirt. He gave a stiff bow. “So…all of you…please take care of me.”
All but one Heart pirate bowed back with polite responses.
“Finally!” Lola cried merrily, curls swinging free as she removed her surgical cap, “Someone’s having a baby!”
“A baby!” Mo and Terry shouted.
“Something to cradle to our bosoms and inhale deeply of!” Penguin exclaimed, miming the very action.
“As a strict reminder, we are operating on alliance status only!” Law barked at all of them, causing his crew to droop noticeably with disappointment before Sanji could say anything. “Once I am free of these shackles, we shall forget this open friendliness and revert back to competitive procedure to get to the One Piece ourselves!”
It took a few moments before all of them erupted into joyous cries once more.
“We steal the baby!”
“We’re pirates, we take what we like!”
“That baby will be ours!”
“Shameless,” Sanji told Chopper, who gaped at them with horror.
“Blackleg-ya,” Law said, looking at Sanji with a scary glint in his eyes, “you have been warned.”
“I ain’t worried,” Sanji said airily, buttoning his shirt. “Empty threats, considering your superbrain nerd powers compared to our dominant ass-kicking abilities. Nobody threatens my child. Die. Anyway, out of the way. All this anti-septic shit is making me sick.”
As the Heart Pirates gave him room to pass, Chopper turned and looked at Law sternly, hooves on his hips. “For now, as it stands, we cooperate together to deliver this child as safely as possible. Sanji’s delicate hormones demand this of us as professionals.”
“I reserve the right to operate on a whim as needed, considering the very unusual status of this operation,” Law said, mimicking his stance.
“Agreed. For the safety and security of both father and child. Therefore, no matter what happens, for the remaining months of gestation, we are in full alliance for the benefits of all.”
With this, Law hesitated. Bepo tapped his paws together with worry, watching him closely while the Heart Pirates caught wind of this and stilled, listening attentively. Law thought about the chaos he had already been immersed in, and shivered. At the thought of extending the alliance until Sanji had the baby, his eye twitched. But his curiosity and fascination was far stronger than he thought.
“Ugh, fine,” he agreed reluctantly.
Grinning brightly, Chopper held his hoof up. “Doctor.”
“No,” Law said, slicing the scalpel he still held at that extended hoof, causing Chopper to retreat quickly before he turned and hurried after Sanji, barking at him to wait up. Sulking, Law continued standing there, Bepo reaching over to pull the surgical mask away from him, revealing a deep pout. He released it, the mask smacking Law into a sputter.
Clapping his paws together, Bepo said, “You heard him! Operation is a go! We must be diligent about this, fellow personnel! Until the baby is delivered, this is a complete alliance, no matter what!”
“And after that, we steal the baby!” Lola hollered.
“Steal the baby!” the others cried.
“None of you know what to do with one!” Law roared back at them, causing their faces to fall.
Shachi sniffled. “That’s right, we don’t, and we never will have a chance because you – ”
Law cleared his throat noisily, removing the mask, tearing off his surgical cap. “Anyway, enough of the nonsense. I need a nine hour nap to think over my own madness with getting even further involved with this group of idiots.”
Bepo leaned in close, Penguin and Shachi snarling at him as they removed Law’s gloves, ripped off his smock with not so gentle action, Law standing patiently regardless. “But it secretly excites you, doesn’t it, captain? Having your own student to raise to take over where you left off? I can smell it.”
“Bepo’s making up crazy smells again!”
“It’s this sub! There’s a bunch of weird smells trapped on board!”
“It’s the entirely of the situation that is making us all crazy with ill thoughts!” Law shouted, red-faced as Bepo revealed his secret motives.
“I can take up knitting again! I’m ever so pleased!” Bepo cried, hurrying to the door, nearly trampling the two in his way.
: :
The Strawhats went crazy when Chopper announced to them Sanji’s decision. Embarrassed, Sanji stood on the grass of Sunny while Nami swatted Luffy’s incoming hug away, Robin gently clutching Ussop and Brook backwards to meeting the same fates. Zoro exhaled heavily, giving Sanji a skeptic look. Jinbe wasn’t even sure what to say, standing there with his mouth open.
“This is so exciting!” Nami cried, turning to face Sanji. “I’m so overjoyed! After all, I was so very afraid that it would be I in your spot!”
“You never thought about that in your life,” Ussop muttered.
“I just couldn’t go through with it,” Sanji mumbled uncomfortably. “But, after all, it’s my choice, I just…apologize in advance for any negative actions that might become of it. After everything we’ve been through so far, I didn’t think that it would be…that unusual of a weird…circumstance.”
“Oh, Sanji, we’re always up to something unusual or weird,” Luffy said with a scoff. “This will fit right in! After all, I’m confident you made the right choice! Plus, look at all the support you have around you! And, I’m excited to note, we even keep Torao around longer! He’s just now starting to loosen up!”
“How is that ‘exciting’?” Nami mumbled.
“Are you sure, cook?” Zoro asked skeptically, arms crossed tightly over his chest. “Having a kid on the ship probably isn’t the smartest thing you ever thought of. Especially being that we’re one of the most Wanted crews out here in the New World.”
Sanji made to speak when Luffy snapped at Zoro, “Why are you so negative off the bat? A birth is always a good thing! New beginnings, Zoro!”
“It’s not that he’s intending on starting a fight, Luffy,” Robin said, brushing hair from her face. “But it is a considerably heavy decision to make, considering all the obstacles we’ve begun climbing in our race to the One Piece.”
Luffy waved that away. “It’ll be fine, you guys worry too much.”
“It’s you that should be worried!” Nami shouted at him. “Not that I don’t like the idea – I actually do! Think of the money we can make selling Sanji’s story to the world! Medical experts would pay prettily to have his case in their greedy hands!”
“Oh! All that blood!” Robin chirped cheerfully.
“Never!” Chopper declared, inserting himself in front of Nami. “Patient confidentiality will remain in the best of hands – ours! Mine’s and Torao’s!”
“So greedy,” Nami commented, looking at him with distaste. “Think of the crew.”
“I just think,” Zoro said loudly, glaring off at the sea, “that none of you idiots thought this all the way through. For instance, what’s going to happen further on down the road, when he starts expanding like a house? Can you still fight, cook?”
“Of course I can!” Sanji snapped at him. “You think I’m going to let down my guard just because I’ll get fat…?”
He suddenly looked away, hand to his mouth. Chopper hurriedly removed the vomit bag from his backpack, holding it up as far as he could reach on tip toes.
All of them looked at Sanji with concern before he got ahold of himself. “I’ll be fat…nothing will fit. I will be a house. A huge house. With mismatched gutters and an overgrown yard, and - !”
“I don’t understand,” Franky said blankly, trying to picture him as a house.
Robin brightened at her own visualization. He’ll look so cute in those muumuus, she thought.
Zoro rolled his eyes. “Whatever, I don’t make the decisions around here,” he decided, turning and walking off with a loud yawn. “Wake me up when something important happens.”
“He’s such a party pooper,” Ussop commented.
“He used to be so cool,” Luffy scoffed.
“He’s probably jealous,” Jinbe said, wearing a bewildered expression.
“Sanji,” Brook said, leaning down to catch Sanji’s sight. “I won’t hold it against you now, but I’ll never forgive you if you lose that body to neglect and start wearing granny panties - !”
“Oh, shut up! I hate you! I hate everyone here! No one cares about what I’m thinking or feeling, right now!” Sanji yelled, stomping off in the other direction, wiping his face.
“Ooh, those hormones are really wacky, now that I understand what he’s going through,” Nami whistled, watching after him with concern.
“‘Jealous’?” Ussop repeated of Jinbe, looking up at him suspiciously.
The whale shark nodded grimly. “Interpret it as you will.”
“Whatever. This is happy news, and we should celebrate! Let’s ask those guys to join us for barbeque!” Luffy cried.
“But Sanji’s our cook, and he’s locking himself up in the bathroom to cry again,” Franky stated.
“Surely they have a cook on board! Bring them up! Let’s celebrate!”
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