change up.

together we walk the english winter, so caught up in one another. who cares if we're under thunder showers? the rain is ours and we are lovers of heavy weather.

[brsiwon]

❛·° — brseunghee:

    once again, their hands met during the book delivery. she tried to make the fleeting contact last forever. little did she know she was touching eternal life itself. seunghee, a mere human void of the knowledge to other worlds, in her triviality and indifference resided her uniqueness. she was the garden before the original sin. her chest felt heavy at the thought that there could not be more of siwon, she could not have another second of warmth. what happened next decided the course of the longing glances.

seunghee’s original reaction to any proposal of going out was to open her planner. as president of the student body, and with her obsession to be involved in all the university events, she led a busy agenda. however, in front of siwon, her responsibilities vanished into thin air. the pages of her books were ripped off, only to transform themselves into paper airplanes that went flying in all directions. a smoke image of the way her heart felt. it dissipated at the first mention of her name, followed by an unexpected question.

❝i’m available on saturday. the café near the outdoor theater?❞ she replied, straight to the point and skipping conversation cues. bravery originating from her small figure. still, her answer resulted affirmative. seunghee was not sure of the time frame for a night class student. usually, they requested such schedules because they needed free mornings. keuroseu’s flexibility never changed since they opened. siwon would have to decide on the hour for their rendezvous, which seunghee already looked forward to.

           HE COULDN’T QUITE BELIEVE THE WORDS that had escaped him before it was too late to even think about taking them back ( not that he would’ve, even when the thought of a date or anything even remotely close to it had reduced the vampire to a overthinking mess ), and though he wasn’t sure where the bravery came from he decided to let it lead, just this once. 

«that would be perfect,» he answered without a single stutter, much to his own surprise. he had waited to build up that courage for what seemed like a small eternity, convincing himself it was because of the many factors that kept pulling them apart; but he thought maybe he deserved this after all. he wasn’t expecting seunghee to say yes, and even after this he doubted she would be interested in continuing to see him — surely this was as harmless as could be, right ?

their schedules never aligned for obvious reasons, but saturdays were cleared up for the most part. naturally he would have to check with ansook to be sure, as he always had to do when making any appointment for himself, but siwon was set on making it work, even when it would most likely be during the more sunny hours. he was well used to treading in sunlight anyway. «around noon sound okay ?»

[brsiwon]

❛·° — brjihyun:

maybe more than the tepid words and tired form of his body, it was the forced smile that hurt jihyun most, that gave her heart the deepest sting. just how much did she drill her son to make him feel like it was necessary to keep up this facade of artificial well-being? it gave her the image of her whipping him at the slightest hint of weakness, which of course she could never attempt in all her immortal lifetime. but it did start a gentle protest in the back of her head. there was the elusive assumption that maybe, just maybe, bae jihyun and her judgement weren’t impeccable. and that terrified her. she rose from her seat and aimed for the stove, pulling the pot still half full with soup she had earlier cooked for ara onto it and cranked up the heat. a couple of spoons should gift siwon at least an ounce of energy to speed up the healing process. while the stove top started heating up, she turned back to him and dropped herself onto the chair once more. with a heavy sigh she slipped her hand under the few strands of hair that loosely covered siwon’s forehead, as if she was feeling his temperature. “baby, it’s not that i don’t trust you. i just want to -” she stopped herself. it was futile still telling siwon what he should and shouldn’t have done. the case of all cases had already occured. “useless to tell a mum not to worry, right? that’s what we were born to do,” she said with the hint of a smile. “have a few spoons of soup, okay? it will cocker you a bit. ara said it was the best thing she had ever eaten but she says that about everything i cook.”

           HE WANTED TO BREAK. he wanted to fall into pieces and not feel bad about it, to cry, to scream — he did none of those things though. he couldn’t bring himself to display what he could only name as weakness in front of the woman who had raised him to be everything but. but there was a selfishness that young boys harbored so well, and most also without shame, that siwon had to hide behind layers of strength that weren’t his anymore. there was no room for selfishness for him.

it occurred to him that he would never be able to lead the life he might’ve wanted — he couldn’t choose to marry, even befriend, anyone that would jeopardize him being in ansook’s immediate vicinity. he knew those were the rules and he had never attempted to bend or break them, nor would he. he would never love anyone the way he loved the chas, never truly want to live for anyone but them — but who lived for siwon ?

«i take care of them,» the boy said firmly, looking at his mother with an almost proud gleam in his eye. «you don’t have to worry. really.» not once did he consider her concern being fixed towards him — surely siwon was careful enough not to become a burden for his mom, or at least so he liked to believe. 

a gentle chuckle slipped his lips, but he helped himself to some now warm soup. he hadn’t realized how hungry he was until he took a spoonful and sighed contently. «ara’s right, you know,» he smiled, «not just about the soup.»

[brsiwon]

❛·° closed — @brseunghee.

          EVERYTHING FELT SAFER WHEN HIDING behind a mask and siwon had to admit he wasn’t fond of the feeling of safety when it never was. he should’ve been alert, should’ve kept a close eyes on his brothers, and especially so when they were at im hyunmin’s party. siwon knew the host was much too smart to appear hostile towards the chas tonight, and besides, whatever bad blood was between their family and the hwangs was likely not of hyunmin’s interest anyway. still, the youngest bae knew better than to let his guard down completely.

but duties came to a momentary halt when his eyes fell upon her figure. he would’ve been able to pick her out under any circumstances, even when she was hiding behind a mask, blending in with what seemed like hundreds of others. seunghee looked ethereal, glowing even, and siwon was drawn to her like a moth to a flame ( only touching her, he knew, would not hurt ). it was that false safety that made for his pretend-confidence, and before he could give his actions a second thought he had worked up the courage to stride over to her. 

«you look beautiful,» the comment slipped, unashamed, knowing well seunghee probably would not be able to tell it was siwon hiding beneath the mask. somehow there was comfort in that — the fear of rejection wasn’t as present as it always had been before. he reached out a hand invitingly, giving her a gentle bow and a genuine smile. «may i have this dance ?»

[vanish]

[brsiwon]

❛·° — sowonbr:

she sits against the steps of ansook’s house. and theres a bored sigh as fingers brush strokes on the screen of her phone. sowon was supposed to meet the youngest cha at his house. they had arranged to get dinner but it was expected that the tall brat couldn’t get out of whatever pre-arrangements he had. now she was plan-less. moreover starving and she groans under her breath. regardless, it takes a couple of minutes. stubbornness and laziness playing a role as she acknowledges she was still in front of the house ( and should take her sorrow somewhere else. ) however as sowon was about to stand up, the door to the cha house opens and the human almost shudders at the sight of siwon. “sorry. i didn’t mean to block the way.” she stumbles over her words as she stands up.

siwon. a man of mystery to yong sowon. from being friends with ansook, she had occasionally seen the male. enough to know that he had a close bond with the cha. but sowon had seen sides, moments where siwon had catered and pampered ansook’s spoiled butt and she could not help the curiosity that settles in her whenever she sees him.  “i was waiting for ansook.”  

( @brsiwon )

          HE WAS NO STRANGER TO THE cha residence. he found himself there to visit often, and if he wasn’t at home, his own dorm, or in ansook’s dorm there was a high chance he could be found there instead. it had become somewhat of a second home to him, somewhere he felt he could let his guards down, and so he did: waiting diligently for the return of the chas. 

he was headed out, but forgot what for the second he noticed the human on the staircase. he was immediately alert, thinking someone was jeopardizing the chas’ safety, but the second he recognized sowon the boy felt himself relax slightly. «don’t worry, please,» he greeted with a smile. the girl had always been somewhat of a mystery to him — the vampire saw her from time to time, but he knew little about her. of course he had heard rumors, but he knew better than to judge from them. «i don’t think he’ll be home for another hour or so, but you’re welcome to wait inside if you want ?»

[brsiwon]

❛·° — bransook:

at the honest response, the cha chuckles. true. siwon had been gifted with seeing a drunker ansook. the male’s inebriated habits of calling one of his brothers, a habit that he finds frankly annoying. ( mostly cause it showed how much he missed and thought of them, even when intoxicated. also cause clearly he was a spoiled pain in the ass. as proven in exhibit a) his current situation with siwon. ) 

entering the store, ansook tugs siwon towards the ramen section. as of now his hunger was controlling him and he scrunches his face as a result of pondering what flavor would be the best. “any ideas on what you want?” the male asks. although his stare does not lift from the endless ramen packets before him. he was drunk, anything would be good. but he was also picky and he draws a hum before finally reaching for the spicy chicken flavor.

           HE HAD SEEN SIDES OF ANSOOK he imagined very few others would ever see, and there was nothing the younger could do that would make siwon care for him any less. he hoped ansook knew that and that there never would come a day where he would hesitate to call him no matter the cause. the bae couldn’t imagine a day in which he would no longer be needed by his best friend and he hoped it would never come.

siwon could only smile at ansook’s seemingly focused gaze on the selection of ramen in front of him. he reached for a roasted chicken flavor, spicy food never quite resonating with him, and just a moment later he managed to snatch the packet of spicy chicken out of ansook’s hands. «here, it’s on me. you just focus on sobering up, okay ? maybe grab a bottle of water as well.»

[brsiwon]

❛·° — brsong:

it’s fascinating, how selfless a vampire can actually be. it’s not a common trait amongst them, of that there are many tales. yet here siwon is, too afraid to take a risk in case it would be an inconvenience to his family. too scared to build his life up because he’d already dedicated it to someone else. of course she’d noticed, having been around him for many years. but in comparison, ara’s first and main priority is ara, as over time she had come to the realization that if she didn’t have her back, it’s possible no one else did either. different upbringings saw different results.

“ansook’s not a child anymore,” she’s pointing out something he’s probably already aware of but doesn’t quite want to admit yet. “does he really need your devotion twenty-four seven?” because how is that living? siwon is siwon, and he should be able to do what he wants, too. but it’s difficult to break a pattern, especially if you’ve only ever known one thing all your life. all she could really do is give him a little push. let him know that it wouldn’t be a crime for him to pursue something for himself. everyone needs a side-hobby. “unless he’s the one you fancy.” her eyebrow kinks, mischievous. now wouldn’t that be a plot twist?

           HE WISHED TO BE THE ROCKS on which ansook and jinho could build their empires. he wanted to be that steady presence for them, the ground that nothing could shake, and he thought little of the weight he allowed himself to carry. he knew, when it mattered, they would do the same for him — even if he couldn’t ever allow them to. he didn’t mind his position ( much, anyway ) and whilst he could see why such a free-spirited vampire as ara herself would view his situation as less than ideal, siwon supposed he would have to disagree with her. he was a means to an end.

«he’s not,» siwon laughed at ara’s comment. the older humored the thought for just a second — of course, things might have been more convenient that way, but that wasn’t their relationship. no matter what ansook decided to do with his life, siwon would support him. «though we’d make a hot couple,» he joked, warm hues meeting ara’s. «i know he can take care of himself. i just want him to know he doesn’t ever stand alone,» he added simply. «i’m devoted because i want to be, ara.»

[brsiwon]

❛·° — bransook:

ansook predicts the answer. siwon was a male that got lost in his studies. or too invested in his work. enough for him to ignore time and his own body. “i knew it.” he responds with a dissatisfied scrunch of his face. ansook knows better to scold the older. siwon was wiser. but he makes sure his expression shows otherwise. “fine. wanna just get ramen at the convenience store? we can sit outside?” he speaks. the male could feel the faint alcohol still reside in him. his words not as clear as it could be and glances at his buddy, as he directs him towards a store. knowing siwon for his unselfish characteristic, ansook knows his suggestion would not be rejected. 

“also… do i look too drunk?” the male mumbles as they reach closer to the place. his eyes squints as he tries to make siwon look at him for confirmation.

          TAKING CARE OF HIMSELF HAD never been a priority of siwon’s — and nor had he ever truly needed to. he was healthy and in shape, loved and taken care of by those close to him. but there was the notion that, of course, his life wasn’t actually lived for himself. he studied what he did to keep an eye on ansook. he worked out to stay in shape in order to protect ansook. everything he did, he did for ansook, and it was the only existence siwon could remember. he needed that — he needed to know he had purpose, and to him there was no greater purpose than ansook.

«ramen sounds good,» he nodded with a smile, slinging one arm around the other’s shoulder, hesitating slightly before answering as they walked. «i mean .. i’ve seen you drunker,» he pointed out with a crooked grin, «but i’ve seen you less drunk too. come on, you’ll feel better after some food.»

[brsiwon]

❛·° — brjihyun:

siwon’s recital confirmed two things for jihyun. the first was that no matter how safe she felt, how ensured she was in the comfort on her own little empire she had built, ansook and jinho were always in danger, no matter what. it was unsettling that it took a level e attack for that realization to come upon her once more and she deeply resented herself for that. the importance of their safety should always be her constant priority, not only in the back of her head. that’s what she owed both of them. and her sister. and secondly, it proved to her just how strong siwon was. she couldn’t believe he just single-handedly fought off a blood thirsty, mindless vampire. of course, she had trained him for occasions like this for literal years but the harsh thought of this being an actual reality hit her harder than she ever thought it would. it was an odd mix of pride, worry and fear that was getting the best of her. intently listening to him recalling the events of the past hour she let go of his face, one hand now wrapping around his wrist. without a word she pulled his son into the kitchen, his heavy, sloppy steps following her assured, determined ones. gentle hands pushed his shoulders down to place him on a chair, a flick of the light switch enlightened the scene. jihyun took up the seat next to him, dragging her chair a few inches closer to his. eyes attentively scanned him, stopping at his arms, covered with scratches, some deeper than others. she slipped one hand under his right underarm, his shiftless limb resting on her palm. jihyun gave the thumb of her free hand a lick, slowly and carefully gliding it over a deep cut, waiting for her vampire dna to speed up the healing process of his worn out body. “why didn’t you call me?” she said quitely, no judgement in her voice despite the question while her eyes remained pinned on his wounds. “i could have picked you up. i don’t want you to walk around like this.”

          IT WAS A SMALL PRICE TO PAY for ansook’s well-being and siwon knew that had there been more than one ex-human at the spot, he would’ve stood fighting until he himself turned to dust. it was a sacrifice he knew he might have to make one day, but he was more than willing to — it would be the only way he would ever leave this world after all, and somehow there was reassurance in that. nothing he ever did was for granted: it was for them. it was a great a cause as any.

never once was he found wanting anything that was out of his reach, and never once was he heard complaining about his duties, because truly he did not mind. he was privileged, of that he was convinced, privileged enough to see his brothers prosper right before him, and it was enough to make him forget his own hardships.

but a golden cage was still just a cage in the end.

he let his mother move him wherever she needed him to be, too tired to put up any resistance. it didn’t hurt him — the wounds weren’t bad and they’d be gone once the boy had gotten some rest: had he spent the night somewhere else, chances were jihyun never would’ve even known. but he sat there in front of her now, attempting to sit straight and smile reassuringly. siwon had never been good at keeping anything from his mother — surely she saw right through his act. «i wanted to check the dorm’s perimeter,» he explained, shrugging slightly. «it wasn’t that far to walk either. don’t worry mom, really.»

[brsiwon]

❛·° — brahins:

― the word ‘spoiled’ had been used, misused, too many times when to describe her. she had been ruined, she had been turned into a monster with inescapable appetite that only craved more and more and more; and when not given enough, she would raise hell in order to be granted all her whims. 

she had been cursed, with a pretty face, with a beautiful body – with words that dripped like honey and a smile that served like a trap, she was project, just like one of her illusion – and just like her powers, she managed to wrap herself as the perfect idealism anyone would like to adhere. 

anyone, but him. he was forged from fire himself, and she could feel the flames licking her sides every time he touched her – every time he kissed her, every time he sighed on the crook of her neck. 

every time she reminded that she wasn’t what he wanted. 

siwon had a heart too big for him, and he would never rip her own to feast on it, like she had promptly done to many around. he would never bend her and break her, he would never ruin her intentionally – and that was what did ruin her; how subtly he made clear that she would never be; and oblivion was the only thing that haunted her at night. 

“ should go get us breakfast? i agree. ” her face turned to nuzzle against his palm, eyes still closed to not face his apologetic eyes at the lie both of them knew she was trying to make a reality. her hand came to rest on the nap of his neck, playing with his hair. “ but just stay a bit longer… ”

HE KNEW HER, FROM EVERY strand of hair on her head to the scent of her perfume, the touch of her hand, the feel of her skin. he knew she was more than what most saw and it was what he adored about her — those soft edges, even when she sharpened them in the presence of others. siwon dared say he knew ahin.

and still, she remained an enigma to him.

sometimes he wished he could love her, but there was nothing uncomplicated with that either. he was ansook’s protector before he was anything else, and ansook was to marry ahin one day most likely — even if siwon was to give his heart to ahin he knew it could never be; and even if he could, she surely wouldn’t want it. it was siwon’s curse — to be the second lead even in his own life.

but for now, her lying there next to him, he could afford to pretend if just for a minute more. «you know i’d love to stay,» he muttered sleepily, smiling at her — something genuine and real and rare. it was safe there, he was allowed to be himself there, and he was allowed to admit that he wasn’t as strong as everyone needed him to be. there, he was just a boy. «i’d love to stay, ahin.» and whilst his words rang true, he moved out of her grip with a reassuring smile. «i suppose i can’t just leave without breakfast first, huh ?»

[brsiwon]

❛·° — brsejoo:

― the familiarity of that moment covered him like a blanket; he felt comfortable, he felt safe, he felt at home; as if he truly belonged there. siwon was his first friend, and, with him, came ansook – but what they shared as first strangers to then best friend could never be replaced. 

and he only wished to never be forgotten in the forever ahead of his best friend. 

sejoo only chuckled, eyebrows rising slightly at his friend’s tone. he had no idea if that was true or not, but siwon was too pure and he had given himself away just that easily – he wished to be like him, at times. to be able to be someone so full of love and care that it poured down at every action. 

“ i mean, you just gave it away to me. ” sejoo laughed, propping himself on his elbow to take a better look at his friend’s reaction. he had no idea who the girl was, or how far either had advanced, he only expected to help him somehow. “ so, what are you going to do? ”

           IT DID HIM WELL, TO HAVE a human friend like sejoo to remind him of the humanity he surrounded himself with. it was easy for siwon to get lost in his own vampiric ways, to think that they were all that there was to it, when all he knew about humans was what he knew of hunters.

sejoo had become an important figure in siwon’s life, and an even more important friend, and he knew it was unfair of them to ask of sejoo such a big favor as to keep their true identity hidden. he carried their secrets with his head held high though. siwon could relate to carrying burdens.

«it’s not like i can keep secrets from you anyway,» he pointed out, because siwon had never had to keep anything from him before. but he recalled how close the other boy was to seunghee and he couldn’t help but feel as if he was intruding something that was none of his business. «i don’t know .. » he sighed as if to admit defeat. «nothing, probably.»

[brsiwon]

❛·° — brseunghee:

     his monosyllabic acknowledgment filled her with something akin to hope. seunghee found it comforting to know that he did not mind. she would make sure to remember the next time she addressed him. if there was such an occasion in the future. suddenly, bumping into library doors every morning sounded like a reasonable part of her routine. perhaps she would have to stick to her flickering gaze over him during the change of classes.

❝i—yes, please,❞ she nodded at least five times, partly apologetic for making him carry her books. what was he saying sorry for? the previous incident was excused straightaway because accidents happened. he had showed both genuine distress and consideration for her, which made the girl’s chest ache with a blooming possibility. the realization startled her. it was a gentle act he would have done for anyone else, she tried to calm the accelerated heartbeat with this thought.

❝thank you, siwon,❞ seunghee managed to add. in preparation for his hands to get closer to hers, while delivering her pile of material. she was sure she would remain mute at the slightest hint of contact. holding her breath, she waited for him to make the first move. she probably was making a fool out of herself with her open arms, as if waiting for an embrace.

          HE FELT AWKWARD SUDDENLY for assuming she’d needed, or even wanted, the help. it had been an excuse from his side to spend just another minute with her, self-consciousness keeping him from just asking her out. it couldn’t be that simple for him, and he couldn’t let her know why: so he was cursed with a lifetime ( at least hers ) to wonder. the what if broke his heart the most.

siwon could have no place in seunghee’s life, knowing she would only be a dent in his when he would last many decades after her passing. and even if that barrier hadn’t been there, siwon couldn’t afford a distraction — she was more than that, of course, but he couldn’t sugarcoat the truth: she would surely distract him from his duties, and he had been spoon-fed with the idea that everything else was trivial. the vampire’s existence was useful for that reason only — he knew he couldn’t afford to be comfortable all the time. 

his hand brushed hers as he handed over the books and for just a second he felt like nothing but just a boy in love and for him, there was little that was more scary. he couldn’t help the shy smile that grew on his countenance from such a gentle, insignificant touch alone. he felt small, pathetic, but warmth was blossoming from his core and he couldn’t help but let it show, just this once, exactly what she did to him.

siwon should’ve left then perhaps, but instead he hesitated. «seunghee,» he spoke before she could turn to leave, her name sounding foreign yet right on his tongue. still he corrected himself hastily. «miss han, i —» he should’ve held his tongue, had he known how to in that moment. «maybe .. you’d like a coffee ? with .. me ?»

[brsiwon]

❛·° — brsong:

“i know from experience,” ara starts, biting into another cookie, “that my conclusions are usually right.” the stare she’s giving him is a satisfied one, as if telling him to challenge her. she’s looking at siwon and knows that there’s something there, from the way he averts his eyes to his defensive answers. she takes pride in being perceptive – she’s only ever been blinded when it’s been about her. knowing when to stop pestering someone? she’d never experienced that emotion.

“you don’t have time for it—?” she scoffs laughingly. “you have time to let me badger you about a potential crush, but you don’t have time for said crush?” he’s deflecting. a bit too strongly, if you ask her. clearly this means that she’s right and he has his eye on someone. interesting. she’s already scrutinizing every interaction she’s ever seen siwon have with someone, trying to remember if she’s seen him behave differently around someone. her brow raises at him. “you’re not in a position to date.” ah. now it makes sense, kind of. she at least knows what this is about now. for as long as she’s known siwon, he’s played a certain role. his first priority has always been someone other than himself, and it’s no doubt that he is, yet again, considering their happiness before his own. “what position are you in, then?”

          ARA SAW RIGHT THROUGH THAT boyish facade siwon put up — one filled with carelessness towards his own being. he rarely thought of himself, rarely even thought of it as an option, and whilst that would sound rather sad for anyone else, siwon truly didn’t mind. every life had a meaning, a purpose, and this was his — he was proud to be who he was, even when he couldn’t be sure of exactly who that was supposed to be.

it was why the boy felt dumbfounded when ara posed her question and he suddenly realized he stood with no answer. what position was he truly in ? he had never really taken his own situation into consideration — his existence was trivial without the princes and it was a belief he was so set on that nothing else made sense. «i —» he began, fumbling for words, not knowing what to say without sounding as clueless as he truly was. «i just don’t think dating is for me, right now, you know ?» he wondered if it ever would be, if there ever would come a day where he’d allow himself just one selfish act, but whenever that day would come around was a mystery to him — and chances were seunghee wouldn’t be here then. «maybe .. you know, when ansook and i aren’t studying anymore ..» he began hesitantly.

[taeiljaeh]

💝💝💝💝💝

[brsiwon]

❛·° closed — @brahins.

          SHE FELT LIKE SAFETY, COMFORT, honey-soaked melodies that hadn’t been sung yet. and yet, guilt laid heavily on his mind, weighing down the arm he had draped around her body. his body felt heavy, offering a dipping weight to the bed they had shared once again, and no matter how many times siwon told himself that it wasn’t the brightest idea the young bae had had, he seemed unable to shake it. ahin was more than a bad habit he couldn’t let go of — she was a close friend, an escape, and that softness he so rarely ever got a taste of.

it was addictive.

but his life was not beds and beautiful girls and days spent under blankets. he had duties, ones that he performed happily and without complaint, and as the night was slowly turning into morning he felt obliged to return to them — to make sure ansook and jinho were safely in their homes, to go home to his mother who was surely waiting for him. still, he did not seem able to move.

«ahin,» he whispered, a hand coming up to brush hair away from her face gently. «i should go.» and there it was again; that guilt of never being enough for both — the pressure he put on himself that amounted to nothing. he couldn’t give all he was to one person without losing part of himself in the process.

[brsiwon]

❛·° — bransook:

he feels the heaviness of his lids. the alcohol mixed with boredom and exhaustion all combine. although a few seconds more and ansook hears the familiar voice of siwon. he feels the reward in his wait as his stare falls onto the other. “ not a greeting but a complaint. ” the youngest cha mumbles. nonetheless do his words mean anything as he hears the next words. “ yes. let us go! ” ansook agrees as he pushes himself off the bench. 

he throws an arm over siwon before directing them both to a random direction. somehow this was worth leaving the party early for. then again, it was obvious to anyone that knows them: his best friend was company that ansook would pick over anyone else. “ what shall we eat? please tell me you did not eat- ” the male begins to ramble.  “ if you ate and are eating for me, i will … do something. ” though the ending comes out more like a question.   

          HE COULDN’T HELP THAT UNDERLYING concern that was always present. siwon had grown up with the idea that nothing, truly nothing, was more important than the well-being of the chas, and the idea had implanted itself in his brain seeping into his every thought. he felt uneasy whenever he wasn’t with them, especially ansook, and he found ways to feel uneasy even when they were together. 

but siwon tried to allow himself to let his guard down for ansook’s sake, knowing he was nothing but annoying when he got like this: overprotective and anxious. he needed to allow himself a moment to breath every once in a while too. «anything, really,» he admitted, smiling sheepishly. it wasn’t an unusual answer — the youngest bae never had truly learned to make decisions without being influenced by someone else. «i didn’t eat yet. i was studying so i kinda .. forgot.»

[brsiwon]

❛·° — bransook:

resting against the wooden bench, the male aimlessly watches the darkness before him. the almost bare streets are enlightened because of the street lamps and unknown faces — couples and strangers, walk pass as he draws a relaxed breath. somehow everything was peaceful. for once things were nice.

it takes mere seconds for a response. ansook somehow predicting the fast answer from siwon and it draws a smile. although, once his clouded stare tries to read over its messages, the youngest shakes his head at the worry presented in siwon’s text. the male was always on guard when he was involved. ansook’s appreciation could not be described. running his fingers down his phone, the cha then begins to write back.  

(  to “bloodbae” )  — : no. im not alright. im hella hungry and u aren’t here.

(  to “bloodbae” )  — : s i l l y.

(  to “bloodbae” ) — : im by the usual park bench. you’ll easily spot me.

          GAZE WAS GLUED TO THE phone screen, dimly lit against the evening night as siwon stalked out of the library with his backpack carelessly thrown over his shoulder. he hated it when ansook was out alone, hated not being by his side, but the prince needed to breathe too and sometimes siwon felt more like an inconvenience than anything else.

still, when asked he would always happily come regardless of his own situation, and it was why he only a minute after receiving ansook’s last message appeared in front of him. «you shouldn’t be out here alone,» he noted as a worried greeting, but upon seeing his younger best friend he couldn’t help but smile and give him a pat on the back.. «sorry you had to wait, let’s go eat, shall we ?»