@brucevvayne - Tumblr Blog

clarkcvnt-deactivated20230610

If I had a nickel for every DC Batman property that referenced Adam West's shark repellent this week, I would have 2 nickels; which isn't a lot, but still totally validates the idea that people need to watch the 60s Batman show.

brucevvayne

My fave bit is "they may be drinkers Robin but they're still human beings"

beardedmrbean

disgruntled-foreign-patriarch

oh come on that's funny

brucevvayne

THE REPLACEMENT IS EVEN FUNNIER

mrbulian

me: *gets really sad and has an emotional breakdown*

me, ten minutes later: lmao that was so fuckin lame

eddywoww

happy late valentines day! (popstar/pornstar au)

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

#THE BEST #so good #so very hot #BIG FAN

steddielations

edit by: @eddiemunsons-missingnipple

The bearded dilf Steve demons are winning. Now I'm thinking about young businessman Steve, who always comes into the restaurant Eddie works at. He looks like he’d be arrogant and stuck-up, Eddie definitely judged him wrong at first, but he’s always super nice and tips well. The only time Eddie's seen him get even a little angry was when he told off another customer for being rude to one of Eddie's coworkers. Eddie's had the hots for him ever since then. He thinks maybe he has a chance because Steve always requests to sit in Eddie's section, they've had conversations far beyond friendly small talk, Eddie's even sure that Steve has flirted with him a couple times, giving him a wink and a smile.

Eddie finally chalks up the courage to ask Steve out, but that night, Steve shows up with a big bouquet of roses and says he has a plus-one, "A really special little lady," and Eddie's heart just sinks. Of course, Steve's some rich playboy and Eddie's going to have to watch him wine and dine some gorgeous model all night.

Eddie's so disappointed, until Steve's plus-one shows up and it's the cutest little girl that Eddie's ever seen. He just melts watching Steve being adorable with his daughter, as if Eddie didn't have a big enough crush on this guy already. By the end of the night, Eddie can hardly function around Steve. It only gets worse when Steve's little girl comes up to him at the counter, politely handing him one of the roses from her bouquet, "My dad said this is for you."

Steve winks at him from the table and oh yeah, Eddie's a fucking goner.

lengthofropes

STRANGER THINGS SHIPS FEST 2023 #️⃣4️⃣ (187 votes) - Steve Harrington/Eddie Munson 🔁 alternative timeline/pre-series Steddie ’83 edition

steviesbicrisis

Best post I’ve ever seen

theartofmadeline

lil 16 page zine that i made at the coffee shop this weekend! a sort of pick your path style mini game, because i love wizards + interactive fiction. hope you get out of the wizard dungeon!!

solarmorrigan

Okay, but imagine the absolute shit fit Eddie and Dustin would throw when it’s not either of them that finally manage to convince Steve to play D&D with them. It’s not Lucas, or Will, or even Erica, in all her terrifying, businesslike glory

It’s Mike fuckin’ Wheeler

Mike, who Steve has technically known longer than any of the other kids; who had never made a secret of when he’d thought Steve was a douchebag; who, even after Steve became de facto babysitter to the group and Mike could admit he didn’t entirely dislike him, had never quite warmed up to him the way the others had. Mike

Dustin has been on Steve’s case to join the game since they became friends, and Steve has said no every time. At first because it sounded complicated and boring and he had no interest, but later because he knows none of the other kids like him as much as Dustin does, and that’s fine, but he isn’t going to sit through something complicated and boring while a bunch of other kids glare at him

Sometime later, on one of the few nights neither Joyce nor Jonathan are available to pick Will up, and Steve is driving him home, Will mentions that it would be cool if Steve wanted to join in and play – since he has to schedule his nights around their games sometimes anyway, after all. Steve smiles and tells him thank you but no thank you. Will is kind, and patient to a fault, and Steve has no doubt Will would genuinely try to include him, but he doesn’t want anyone to feel like he should be invited as an obligation. He really doesn’t mind driving

After Steve starts playing basketball with Lucas, Lucas invites Steve in turn to play D&D with The Party. Steve turns him down, saying he’ll stick to what he’s good at. He wonders if maybe Lucas feels like they should do an exchange—Steve has given him some pointers on basketball, so maybe Lucas will give him pointers on D&D—but really, he’s happy spending his time playing with the kid. He doesn’t need to be offered anything else

Steve turns Eddie down flat no matter how much he wheedles, whines, or offers bribes of various favors and orgasms. He knows Eddie’s previous reputation, that he hasn’t been inclined to accept or be entirely patient with novices at the game in the past, so he’ll either sweep along as usual and leave Steve in the dust, or he’s planning to change his entire style to hold Steve’s hand and help him figure it out, probably to the detriment of everyone else’s enjoyment. Neither option is appealing

Erica asks Steve exactly once, telling him that the only way anyone is ever going to shut up about it is if Steve agrees to play. Steve tells her that, unfortunately, she’ll just have to continue putting up with their whining. She doesn’t seem happy, but she’s certainly not going to beg him to play, and that’s that

But then, one night, Mike watches the whole song and dance routine as Steve drops off Dustin, Lucas, and Erica; tells Dustin that no, he’s not going to stay tonight; kisses Eddie hello and also tells Eddie that no, he’s not going to stay tonight. Mike sighs loudly as Steve moves to head up the stairs and out of the basement

“Dude, we both know Eddie and Dustin have made, like, a dozen characters for you. Just pick one and play with us.”

And Steve stops

Because Mike has never pretended to like Steve. Mike has never pretended to like anyone. He’s jealously guarded membership into The Party, denying anyone he isn’t one hundred percent certain about. He’s about as protective over his nerd game as Eddie is (and as protective over his friends as Steve himself). And with no clear reason to, he’s asking Steve to join them

And Steve can’t help but admit that Mike may actually just want him to play – that maybe they all do (and maybe he sincerely does want to join them, even if it still sounds complicated and might still be boring; maybe he’ll just like spending time with them)

So he sits down and asks what the hell he’s supposed to be doing

(He’s never had so many people try to show him how to do something at once)

#this is everything

i-steddier

eddie munson, also known as the loml

bitchysunflower

“my dad is a cop and i just called him and he was like ‘hey i have a 17 year old in the back of my cop car rn’ ”

steve answering the phone: hopper? everything ok? i thought you were working rn

hopper: yeah yeah, all is good but listen

hopper: i have a 17 year old boy in the back of my car rn and he’s your type

steve: …what???

hopper: yeah I showed him you picture and he thinks your cute, i also gave him your number

steve: DAD STOP GIVING MY NUMBER TO RANDOM GUYS

eddie, in the back: this is the weirdest and greatest thing to ever happen to me

piratefishmama

NEEDS MORE STEVE TEACHING EDDIE HOW TO KISS OK BYE

backyardowl

"...and she was nice, but every girl I've gone out with lately has been nice. I need more than that, you know?" Steve says as he sets the timer. Putting it next to the stove, he searches the kitchen for something else to do for the next 20 minutes. He settles on unpacking the half empty bag of groceries that's sat on the kitchen island.

Eddie, leaning on the island and munching on a cereal bar he nicked from the bag (how long has it been there, anyway? It better not have any perishables, or Eddie will be chewing Steve out for wasting food), does in fact not know. No need for him to confess to it, though – Steve will elaborate. He always does when it comes to failed dates.

"Like sure," Steve continues, "we had things to talk about this time, but I'm not sure we would again. Everything's pretty much already been said."

He shuts the pantry, groceries put away (and no perishables – good boy). Next he goes for the two clean plates and half dozen cutleries in the dish rack. They could join the kiddies in the living room until the 20 minutes have ticked ticked ticked away, but Eddie's pretty sure both of them want to stay away for as long as possible. When they left, Dustin and Mike had already started arguing about which movie to pick; the discussion has only gotten more heated in their absence. By the sound of it, even Robin has joined in.

As if cue, a high-pitched screech reaches their ears. Sighing, Steve yanks the towel off its hook so quickly it makes a whiplike snap. He makes no attempt to check what's going on out there. Neither does Eddie. He knows what real trouble sounds like with those kids, and they're not there (yet). He'd rather remain, even if it means listening to Steve 'Serial Romeo' Harrington whinge about the hardships of being desired by half of Hawkins female population. After all, there are cereal bars out here.

"And there was no spark," Steve says, waving a fork in Eddie's direction before slamming it into a drawer. "And the kiss. Not the worst I've had, but still pretty bad."

"Huh," Eddie says. "What made it so bad?"

Because, if you ask him, simply the prospect of being kissed sounds like a win. Does it have to be perfect on top of it? Yeah, if the other person was important, then it would matter more. But on a zero-stakes first date? A kiss at the end would be a consolation. 'Sorry, it won't work, but here – have a smooch for the trouble'.

However, Steve makes it sound like a disappointment, like a disaster. Clearly, he knows something Eddie doesn't (unsurprising in this context). So when he comes to a halt with a thoughtful expression, Eddie leans in, surrendering all of his attention.

"Well," Steve says. "There was just, uh, nothing to it? Like, we both wanted for there to be something, but neither would put in the effort."

"That still doesn't sound so bad. Lackluster, maybe, but not bad."

"Yeah, well." Steve snorts. "Sometimes, lackluster is worse."

Eddie's skepticism must show, because Steve chuckles.

"C'mon, man. A bad kiss can end up a story. But nothing is... that's just nothing."

"It's still a kiss."

Steve shakes his head, a teasing smile that's prettier than it has any right to be. "You've either not had enough mediocre kisses or enough bad ones to compare them."

"More like none at all," Eddie says under his breath.

It's not meant to be heard. It's a whisper drowning in a ridiculously huge kitchen, shouting teenagers a mere hallway down to help cover it up.

But Steve's smile falls off; his brows shoot into his hairline. Shit.

"What do you..."

"Nothing." Eddie glides off his chair. "Let's go make sure they're not tearing apart your majestic movie collection, hm?"

"Eddie, no, wait-" In an eyeblink, Steve's cutting off his escape route. Damn his jock speed. "You're telling me you've never been...?"

Eddie presses his lips together. Shrugs with his entire body. Says nothing.

The smile creeps back onto Steve's face.

"Dude, don't laugh at me!"

Groaning, Eddie pivots and thumps his head on the island. A large hand pats between his shoulder blades, gentle and apologetic.

"Sorry! I'm sorry. I didn't mean to... I just never would've guessed!"

Eddie turns his head a smidgen to glare up at Steve, who, to his credit, looks genuinely remorseful in response to Eddie's dramatics. Even so, 'never would've guessed'? Is he trying to be funny?!

"Are you trying to be funny?"

"No! I seriously didn't think... I mean, why wouldn't you have had your first kiss?"

Ouch. Eddie know Steve doesn't mean it as in 'you're too old to be a kissless virgin'. He means it as in 'you're my friend and a good guy, ergo a catch, ergo you should be dodging babes left and right'.

But that sadly doesn't change the fact that Eddie is way too fucking old to be a kissless virgin.

He knows why he is, though. He knows it's not his fault, at least not entirely. And based on Steve's pained expression, he does too.

"It'll get better," he says, continuing to stroke Eddie's back, calloused fingertips scratching at the nape of his neck where his hair has slipped down and left the skin exposed. The contact sends a shiver running along his spine. "You'll escape this shit hole, and all the judgemental dicks that live here. Then it'll be easier."

"Maybe so. But," Eddie huffs, pushing off the island, "that's a meager comfort. I'm already 20 fucking years old. I don't want to wait any longer. I want to experience all the shit everyone else already has now."

"Everyone hasn't-"

"Steve, the 15-year-olds currently in this house have seen more action than I have."

"All right, okay, I hear you. We'll solve it for you."

"How."

"Well," Steve's tongue darts out to wet his lips, "if you just want to get it over with, then... I could kiss you?"

Eddie's jaw detaches from the rest of his face and hits the ground as such velocity a dust cloud would rise, if the floor wasn't so fucking pristine. Did he just say...

"Did you just say...?"

Steve shrugs. "Why not?"

"Weren't you only moments ago complaining about bad kisses? And now you want another one that, surely, will be even worse?"

"That's different. We're friends."

And perhaps it's Eddie who's the weird one. Perhaps it's he who doesn't understand, since, hello! Kissless virgin! Dreadfully Inexperienced! Has no clue what he's doing!

So, digging the heels of his hands into his eyes before dragging the palms down his face, he says, "Okay! Let's do it. Teach me, oh master. Show me the way."

Steve rolls his eyes, fond, and cups Eddie's cheek. Eddie's breath hitches in his throat.

They're doing it now? No preamble? They must be, because Steve is leaning in, eyes sliding shut. Eddie's do, as well, after one last, blurry yet breathtaking, closeup of Steve's face.

"First thing you gotta do," Steve says, breath hot on Eddie's lips, "is get a good angle. Don't just smash your faces together."

"Okay," Eddie whispers, eyes still closed. Steve's thumb is caressing his cheekbone in a move that shouldn't be as soothing as it is.

"Don't forget to breathe," Steve continues, and shit, did he? Eddie sucks in a breath to be safe; Steve chuckles. "And don't rush. Take your time to explore. Be cool."

"Jesus H Christ, Steve," Eddie hisses. "If you don't kiss me now, I'll-"

Steve kisses him.

It's... okay.

Nothing life changing, to be honest. Sure, it's nice – soft and warm and kind of fuzzy in his chest – but not as spectacular as he's been led to believe.

Then Steve parts his lips. His tongue, wet and hot, licks along the seam of Eddie's mouth; he opens it with a gasp. Steve slips his tongue into Eddie's mouth, and wow, yeah, that's good. Then he drags his tongue over Eddie's, and that's really good. The hand on Eddie's cheek slides to his neck, tipping his head back with a sweet tug on his hair, allowing Steve to reach even farther, and that's really fucking good.

Eddie falls into it.

Literally – he slumps against Steve's frame, grasping his shoulders, Steve's arm an anchor around Eddie's waist.

Eddie's pulse is hammering in his throat. Steve's chest is solid where it's pressed against Eddie's. He's doing this thing where he coaxed Eddie's tongue into his mouth and now he's sucking on it, and it makes something curl in Eddie's groin and down to his toes, and-

The timer goes off.

They break away with a gasp, but they don't let go of each other. Steve's eyes are hazy, his mouth slick and slightly bruised. Eddie is warm from the tips of his ears to his clavicles and his innards can't stop moving: heart bouncing, gut somersaulting, lungs rattling with emptiness at the sight of Steve so close.

The timer stops ringing. In the living room, the kids are still noisy. In the kitchen, blood rushes in Eddie's ears.

Holy shit.

Steve smiles.

"So," he says. "That's lesson one."

#I LOVE THIS SO MUCH

play-now-my-lord

jfk famously changed the course of fashion by making many appearances at state functions without a hat, which was previously considered mandatory for well-dressed men. at his inaugural address, he even bragged about "[his] big juicy melon, naked as a jay bird for all the world to see". unfortunately we can all see how that turned out for him in the tragic events of the zapruder footage

play-now-my-lord

the real tragedy about JFK is that with his horrible secret health condition managed mostly by uppers and steroids by incompetent 1960s doctors, he was apparently healthy, yet his system was essentially defenseless against the deadliest medical problem known to man: being shot directly in the brain

play-now-my-lord

you know who could have used a warning about something being spoiled? JFK, about his lovely visit to Dallas, Texas

play-now-my-lord

I don't remember why I spent last night JFKposting. I don't know exactly was going through my head here. On the other hand, what went through JFK's head was pretty thoroughly established by the Warren Commission