choosing the correct love interest
if you don’t want to fumble your life by getting attached and pro-creating with the wrong man, here’s the 5 qualities you should look for in a man, aka how to dodge a bullet romantically,
i will explain each one individually:
he likes you MORE than you like him
he’s well mannered but not TOO charismatic
he’s naturally generous and giving
he’s not flashy with his appearance/money
he’s attentive to your needs
he likes you MORE than you like him
and no, this one is not negotiable,
there’s no such thing as “we love each other equally”, women by nature overdo, we over give, over-nurture, you know that cheesy quote about how you give women ingredients and they give you back a meal, you give her a seed and she returns it as a child, well it’s true! women grow and amplify everything, and in relationships most women find themselves drained and tired because we give way more than we receive a simple look at your mother and your parents’ marriage will reveal this to you!
if you want real balance and equality, he HAS to like you more than you like him, he has to actively think of you as the prize, fear losing you, and put you on a pedestal, because in case you forgot, women are the closest thing we have to magic, we are creators of life, we decide who’s genes get to survive into the next decades, we raise the future, if he’s not actively impressed by your simple existence, he needs to go, you will not thrive in a relationship with a man who thinks of you as “convenient” or “nice to have”
he’s well mannered but not too charismatic
guess what, the guy who’s a charmer, who has swag and knows exactly the right thing to say and when to say it, has become that way by practicing his skills on many many women before, he’s a player and he’s spent enough time playing women that he knows the roadmap to your heart (panties), a man should be somewhat nervous/awkward around you because he likes you so much, if he’s flirting back and forth and it’s flowing sooo well and the convo is soooo smooth, you’ve got a little player on your hands, prepare for heartbreak !
he’s naturally generous and giving
everytime i see women asking for advice and tutorials on how to “get” their man to do something for them or how to “get” their man to give them money, i just shake my head
you can not “get” a man to do anything, you cannot manipulate men into providing, he either wants to do it or not
the men you have to convince are the wrong target to choose, you’ll spend so much mental energy coming up with ways to manipulate him or lie to him to get what you want
meanwhile other women are getting flowers on the regular, dinner dates every friday, weekly shopping money and automatic deposits no questions asked
this ties back to the first point, when he likes you more than you like him, he’ll naturally be giving and nurturing, he’ll be on his best behavior because he wants to keep you and you’re his dream girl,
remember, taking care of our loved ones shouldn’t feel like a chore, if he’s making you feel like you asking for flowers, dates, attention, financial support is some sort of suffocating chore ==> he’s not the one !
he’s not flashy with his appearance/money
Mina Irfan explained it best,
“if he’s “wearing” his money on him, he has nothing left to spend on you”
if he’s draped in designer, flashing his cars and possessions => he’s not the one
first of all, real money is quiet, and so many people are broke
they might have the appearance of wealth but they don’t have actual wealth, they are several thousand dollars in debt, so the luxury car they drive and the luxury clothes they wear are all debilitating expenses
because all their money is spent on appearance, they have nothing left to invest, build, or take care of a family
men who are flashy are also in their feminine energy, because it is a woman’s instinct to who use her outer appearance to seduce, if a man is overly concerned with his wardrobe and hair and making it rain at the club, chances are he doesn’t know how to lead and needs a masculine/independent woman by his side
these are also the men who get resentful and view their girlfriend as a trophy to be showed off, and added to the collection of possessions, the moment you gain a little weight or aren’t feeling your best, you’ll see a different side of him because you’re ruining his “aesthetic”
he’s attentive to your needs
there is nothing worse than a clueless man
many men are selfish and only view you as a something to flex and show off to their male friends to gain more “social clout”
the moment you need them for something and they can’t instantly get a “reward” from you they leave you to fight off those demons alone
a man who’s not attentive looks like this:
walks in front of you and doesn’t care to slow down his pace to match yours when you’re wearing heels
doesn’t care that you dressed up for them and won’t offer you their jacket if you’re wearing shorter clothes aka “i didn’t tell you to wear that” 🙄
never helps solve your problems, if you tell him your car broke down he’ll reply, “damn that sucks, just pray about it, anyways are we still facetiming tonight?”, instead of offering to uber you or help with the mechanic’s bill
these men are generally selfish lovers, and as long as they’re not getting something out of it, they don’t care to help you, and will turn a blind eye to your needs, they’ll pretend they don’t see what the issue is or complain about not being able to do anything or not being the one who started he issue
Ladies stand firm in your standards and remember the choice of the man you share your life with will affect every aspect in your life
your physical health (stress, unpaid labor around the house etc)
your mental health (cheating, gaslighting, manipulation, loss of self esteem)
your finances (going 50/50, building him up for the next chick, him hiding money from you, etc)
