Bella @brxkenbella - Tumblr Blog

“At 23 it’s easy to look back and empathize with my 13 year old self. To offer her comfort and not be harsh about her mistakes. To know that the decisions she made then were the best ones she could make knowing what she knew then. To know that when she fell and hurt it wasn’t her to be blamed but the ones who took advantage of her trust and vulnerability. Why, then, do I forget that one day I will be 33? I will be 33 and look back at me now and wish that I was kinder to myself. I may be older at 23 than I was at 13 but that doesn’t mean I know everything. That doesn’t mean I have to get it all right. After all, there is a lot more knowing, growing and living to do. All I can do now is be honest with myself, show courage and also let myself enjoy the present. I can only hope that when I turn 33, I can be approving of me now. I have a feeling I will be. If not, my 43 year old self will definitely set her right. I have to live that long, at least, right?”

— 5:48 am, Monday 10th August, 2020

palominocorn

“Why didn’t you just leave?”

Because they didn’t know what abuse looked like.

Because they internalized a lot of messages about chewed gum and used tape.

Because they were financially dependent on their abuser.

Because their culture or religion forbids it.

Because they were scared it would escalate.

Because they kept hearing from others how great their abuser is.

Because they were told that relationships take work.

Because they really did love their abuser.

Because their parents’ relationship is just like that.

Because they think no one else could truly love them.

Because their abuser is really loving when not abusive.

Because they feel like they “owe” their abuser.

Because they wanted to make it work.

Because they don’t think someone like them can be abused.

Because all their relationships were like that.

Because they reached out and no one believed them.

Because they were worried it would ruin their life.

Because they wanted to protect their children.

Because they believed their abuser could change.

fairydrowning

"You remember too much, my mother said to me recently. Why hold onto all that? And I said, Where can I put it down?"

– Anne Carson, "Glass, Irony and God"

"You know what truly aches? Having so much inside you and not having the slightest clue of how to pour it out."

– Karen Quan, "Write like no one is reading"

perfectquote

“Well, the rain had passed but the pain was still there.”

— Charles Bukowski

brok3np4radise-deactivated20250

You cannot make everyone think and feel as deeply as you do. This is your tragedy … because you understand them, and they do not understand you.

Daniel Saint

remanence-of-love

The things you want can’t be bought…

Follow for more relatable love and life quotes!!

rueyam

Meeting you helped me to meet me

gedankenlose-leere

And now you’re gone.

numbless

The truth I don’t want to admit is that you only love me with my pants slipped down.

#brokenheart #sad #sadness #toxic love #excerpt from a book i'll never write

brxkenbella

I wanted to kill the me underneath. That fact haunted my days and nights. When you realize you hate yourself so much, when you realize that you cannot stand who you are, and this deep spite has been the motivation behind your behavior for many years, your brain can’t quite deal with it. It will try very hard to avoid that realization; it will try, in a last-ditch effort to keep your remaining parts alive, to remake the rest of you. This is, I believe, different from the suicidal wish of those who are in so much pain that death feels like relief, different from the suicide I would later attempt, trying to escape that pain. This is a wish to murder yourself; the connotation of kill is too mild. This is a belief that you deserve slow torture, violent death.

Marya Hornbacher