comfort in the dark - spencer reid
The others around you looked shocked and confused, but all you could feel was overwhelming panic.
Your heart was bound to leap out of your chest as the lights continued to flicker like a scene straight from a horror movie, people shouting directions and "what's going on"s to one another.
All you could hear was your heart pounding and a frenzied buzzing in your ears.
Then suddenly it all went dark.
You nearly fell down as you surged towards the closest body to you.
Reid's voice felt like a comforting blanket being draped over you as you clung helplessly to his arm.
"Yeah," you squeaked timidly, equal parts terrified and embarrassed.
"Are you okay? You're shaking like a leaf," he said, his other hand reaching out to grab your other shoulder before slowly moving his fingers in. You sucked in a breath as he blindly found your racing pulse on the side of your neck, "Your heart is pounding. Are you having a panic attack?"
You nodded before realizing he couldn't see you, so you whispered a meek, "Uh-huh."
"Let's sit down, okay?" He said, slowly putting pressure on your shoulder as he guided you down onto the floor with him.
You sat as close to him as possible, ignoring the fact that this would be horrifically strange behavior if you were in the light. However, you were thankful Reid was the one you had grabbed onto because you somehow knew he would be the least likely to judge you for your fear.
"Can I try something?" He asked.
"S-sure," you stuttered, teeth chattering slightly from anxiety chills.
He slowly removed your grip on his arm before taking both your arms in his hands gently and scooting around so he was sitting behind you, "Lean back."
You hesitated for a moment, before deciding to trust that he knew what he was doing. You sank back slowly into his chest, feeling his heartbeat thumping against you lightly.
He wrapped his arms around your waist like a lap seatbelt, securing you against him, "Just feel my heart beat and breathing and try to match your breathing to mine."
You did as he said, feeling his chest rise and fall as he inhaled and exhaled deeply, encouraging you to follow his lead. You leaned your head back against his shoulder, closing your eyes and trying to ignore the fact that you were in the middle of the pitch black bull pen.
You couldn't help but laugh internally at your situation: here you were, leaning back in the embrace of the man you had been pining for for nearly three years, yet the thing that made you most nervous in the moment was the lights going out.
You felt Spencer lean into you slightly and your heart jumped, as if you were finally realizing the gravity of being held by him. You almost short-circuited as he tucked his head into the curve of your neck, exhaling into your skin. Spencer never touched anyone like this, never this much.
That had to mean something right.
You desperately tried to return your focus to your breathing, but were failing miserably. So you allows yourself to indulge for a moment, figuring that if it kept your mind off of your fear for a while it was worth it.
You memorized the smell of his cologne, deep and woodsy with a hint of spice and something sweet. The feel of his warmth against you, his beating heart and steady rise and fall of his chest. His curls that brushed against the side of your face as he practically snuggled into you. The firm embrace of his arms as they buckled you in like a rollercoaster bar, and the slightly clammy feeling of his hands as they slowly tangled with yours, keeping you grounded.
You found an overwhelming sense of peace and thought If I could just stay like this with this man forever, I would never let him go. I just need a chance.
You stayed like that for a while before you heard a throat being cleared very close to you.
Your eyes shot open to see Kate squatting next to you with a candle, "Hey there, sleepy heads, Hotch wants us to meet in the round room until the lights come back on."
You nodded vigorously, gulping as she chuckled and handed you the candle.
You turned and gently nudged Reid, bringing him back to the real world, "H-hey, Hotch wants us upstairs."
"Oh, yeah, of course," he said, all semblance of his earlier confidence and smoothness evaporating as he stuttered and scrambled to his feet, helping you up as well.
"Thank you, Spence," you said, "I needed that. But, um, could we maybe keep my little fear of the dark between us?"
He nodded quickly, "Yes, yeah, no problem, I won't say a thing."
You offered him a smile before cautiously working your way up to the round room.
"She said his name is Mr. Scratch," Hotch said, "I think I have someone who could get me a name in connection based on a case I worked on years back. Garcia, do you think you could get enough signal up for me to make a call?"
"Yes, sir," Garcia nodded dutifully, clicking away at her laptop.
"Everyone else, keep working as much as possible until we get things up an running again. They're hoping it won't be more than an hour," he instructed.
You all murmured in agreement as he left the room to make a call.
"Hey, hey, there's our little nerdy lovebirds," Morgan said, gesturing to you and Reid with the candle he was holding.
Your face flushed with sudden heat and you giggled nervously, "Shut up, Morgan."
"Don't act like you didn't get all cozy in the dark with Pretty Boy over here, I saw you two," he teased, wagging his eyebrows suggestively.
"I-it wasn't like that," Reid protested.
Your heart sank. Even though you knew technically it wasn't like that, part of you felt like it was. Hearing him openly debunk it made part of you deflate.
"Yeah," you said halfheartedly, "it wasn't."
“Sounds like both of you are just really bad at denying your feelings for each other," Morgan theorized, shaking his head.
"Morgan!" You whined, "Penny, get him to stop, please."
"Hey, I can't say I disagree with him," she said, holding her hands up in surrender, "You two are so clueless to each other, it's painful!"
"I'm not clueless!” Reid squeaked.
"Spencer, you may be a certified genius but you have to be pretty clueless to miss Y/N's heart eyes for you," Garcia said bluntly.
"Garcia!" You yelped, hopelessly embarrassed.
"Am I wrong?" She asked, her voice dropping with feigned innocence.
"I-uh, I don't, you're just," you sputtered, "Ugh, forget it."
"See!" She pointed triumphantly, "I am right! And as for you, dearest Dr. Reid, the yearning is as palpable as it is in the 2005 Pride and Prejudice film adaptation."
"What does that even mean?" He huffed, frustrated.
"It means that you two like each other and are both too stubborn to admit it," she said finally, before turning back to her keyboard.
Even in the dim candlelight, you could tell Reid was as red as you were. Blushing aside, the lighting illuminated his face almost angelically.
In a spur of confidence, you made a decision that you knew could go really well or really badly.
"Hey, Reid, do you want to go with me to hunt down some more candles?" You said suddenly.
You led him out of the round room, ignoring Morgan's suggestive whoops and whistles, and down to the hallway where the bathrooms were. Thankfully, the space was empty.
"Why are we over here? The supply cabinets are that way...oh," he trailed off, "Is this about earlier? I'm sorry about them, I should've known they would make a big deal out of everything-"
"Spencer, they were right."
"Huh?" He looked very confused.
You sighed, trying to figure out how to word it, "They were right. At least about my part. The heart eyes and feelings for you and all that jazz."
Spencer's eyes widened and his Adam's apple bobbed in his throat, "Wait, what?"
You paused for a moment, gathering the courage to admit the secret you had kept for so long, "I love you."
"Y-you do?" He asked, disbelievingly.
"Yes," you confirmed, "And I totally understand if you don't feel the same, I just-"
"You're not just saying that because I helped you with your panic attack earlier?" He asked, as if he had barely heard you.
"Of course not," you giggled, "I've loved you for nearly three years now. When you brought me my favorite gummies that one day, I knew I was a goner.”
His nose twitched lightly and his eyes shined, lips quirking up into his signature half smile, "The blue ones shaped like sharks that you can only get at Cindy's Candy Shoppe in the mall downtown. You like them because they remind you of going to the aquarium with your family.”
You grinned, taking his hand in yours gently, "I'm still shocked that you remembered. I may have mentioned them once in passing, I never even knew you heard me say it until they were sitting on my desk with a little note that I could barely read.”
His hands trembled slightly in yours, and if you were to slip your fingers a few inches down to his wrist, you would feel his racing pulse.
"Hey," he frowned playfully, gulping as you took a small step closer to him while taking his other hand, "my handwriting isn't that bad. Plus, studies show that highly intelligent people have the worst handwriting because their brains work faster than their hands can write..."
He could have been talking about anything and you would have listened for an eternity. His words trailed off as he found it hard to focus on anything besides your increasing closeness.
"I need to hear you say it, Spence," you said softly, staring up at him, now merely inches away.
"S-say it-um, say what?" He sputtered, his eyes flickering down to your lips.
"If you feel the same for me. I need to hear your answer."
He was silent for a flickering moment, which made you hesitate. Did you read this all wrong?
But one look at his dazed, adoring eyes and parted pink lips and you knew better.
The words didn't leave his perfect mouth it was pressed against yours with so much passion it made you dizzy.
"I love you. Of course I love you," he murmured against your lips, the words sloppy and somewhat muffled yet urgent enough to understand clearly.
You met him with the same amount of passion, grasping at the hairs at the back of his head and pulling slightly as you moved against each other.
You broke apart for air, both gasping, each unable to create a coherent thought outside the other.
"Hey, have you seen Y/N and Reid?" You heard JJ ask from down the hall.
"They're probably somewhere getting their love on," Derek said suggestively, and you and Spencer had to stifle your giggles.
"It would be about time," JJ chuckled.
There was a moment of hesitation. Spencer looked at you with his eyebrows raised and you matched his expression before offering your hand to him.
"Do you want to do this?" You whispered.
His answer was written in his smile as he took your comparatively small hand in his.
You walked down the hall with glowing confidence, heart pounding as Derek and JJ turned to look at you.
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