poop: people order our patties

im lucie

[internetexplorers-deactivated20]

u kno those friends you jokingly insult all the time to the point where u dont even know how to be nice to each other anymore and you’re basically enemies 

[bubble--buddy]

me: *sees a bee* I respect you

bee: *starts flying toward me*

me: *runs away shrieking*

[0-000010-deactivated20190930]

[thepredatorblog-deactivated2016]

I CANNOT STOP LAUGHING

[90scartoons]

[starlitewalker]

and the oscar for best picture goes to……damn, space jam again?!? 10th year in a row

[buckeybarnes-deactivated2014051]

You see these arms? *flexes* wii sports resort 

[tastefullyoffensive]

[vanillish-deactivated20211102]

other people during winter:

me:

[hi]

the amount of pictures I would take if I had a hot body is unimaginable 

[bubble--buddy]

Child: Mom, can you tell me a bedtime story?

Me: Of course. *clears throat* Boy toy named Troy used to live in Detroit. Big dope dealer money, he was getting some coins. Was in shootouts with the law, but he live in a palace. Bought me Alexander McQueen, he was keeping me stylish.

[moonemojii]

[bubble--buddy]

Me: seriously though its time to pull my shit together

Me 7 months later: seriously though its time to pull my shit together

[camaronez]

studying all night for a test and still getting an F 

[feywildwest]

[bastille]

when your friends make plans right in front of you and dont invite you

[pussydeity-deactivated20151212]

[zephye-deactivated20170620]

you’re the window to my wall

[fdskfhdfkdnfsif-deactivated2016]

you’re the sweat that drips down my balls