lock in or die. neither one will make a difference #myallconsumingemptiness

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@bubblesstudies
lock in or die. neither one will make a difference #myallconsumingemptiness
Iβm so tired of stuck being an average at whatever I do. The blame is solely on me, that I never truly try hard enough to push all boundaries and perform above my potential. Dying with all sorts of regrets is my biggest fear but I also lack the capacity to work harder for the dreams I have and I hate that I donβt change.
Indian monsoon
You can hear the rain pouring, probably my favourite sounds in the world, after of course the sound of waves π.
06/04/26 (5 hours, 21 mins)
Made some index notes for economics.
Finished revising ancient history.
To-do for 07/04/26 - Make index notes for other econ handouts, add some extra info from history ncerts in the notes. Finish PYQs of economics & ancient history.
I could only study for an hour or so since last the 2 days due to stomachache so didnβt post. I was going to finish up revising econ and move on to another subject but then I thought index notes will help me with the faster revision so I donβt want to leave those for the last minute. I have to finish revising budget, economic survey and this yearβs CA. If the static portion is taking so long to revise idk when Iβd be ready with the whole subject :///
you can begin again and again and again for the rest of your life
03/03/26 (4 hours, 56 mins)
Revised capital markets, int economics & institutions from economics. Iβm left with sectors of economy then I guess Iβd be done w the static portion.
Did one sectional/worksheet of economics.
To-do 04/04/26 - Revise early medieval kingdoms of ancient history, do more sectionals of economics. Finish ancient history today.
I sneaked in some moradabadi biryani today while my mummy was doing some work in her room, also ate lots of ice cream and now I feel sick. I am kind of obsessed with my new lamp these days, itβs so so good plus the light feels so easy on my eyes in the night
April Days of Productivity - 1/30
One of my April goals is to catch up with my pals before I move, and today I did exactly that with one of my dearest friends π₯Ή We had some sweet treats during my work break, and it completely refreshed my soul. Since my schedule is packed with work-studies-volunteering Iβm lucky to have such an understanding and empathetic friend. We donβt get to see each other often, but when we do itβs like no time has passed! I count this as a productive day ππ
hate to break this to you but if you call yourself self aware but you are only aware of your faults and never acknowledge your strengths you are not self aware. you have repackaged your self hatred
02/04/26 (5 hours, 47 mins)
Revised 4 topics of economics - money, banking, taxation and budgeting/FP
Revised a chapter from ancient history - guptas & vatakas
To-do 03/04/26- Finish revising capital markets and int economics, revise early medieval kingdoms from ancient history. Give 2 economics sectionals & finish PYQs.
Starting again as I have about 50 days left for my exam, I have been preoccupied with other things since the year has started and couldnβt study properly but I still donβt want to give up halfway for my exam. I am just so mentally drained right now due so many reasons, but at the same time I have nothing to lose at this point.
4/140
Finished making notes on half of the syllabus for Indian physical geography.
To-do: practice math, finish Indian physical, finish stratification & social mobility.
πΊ frankenstein (rewatching)
2/140
Finished oceanography, made short notes for physical geography.
To-do -Finish half of Indian physical geography, read about stratification & social mobility. Do some assignments.
I have alot more things planned but Iβm gonna focus on completing these targets first.
1/140
Finished climatology from few books.
To-do- Finish oceanography + start Indian physical geography & study current affairs.
πΊ- resident playbook (rewatching)
I did alot of things and nothing at the same time in december! Spent time with my grandparents as I met them after months, celebrated christmas with friends, got my provisional degree from college, sorted out career plans and couldnβt study at all especially in the last half of the month. So here goes nothing, Iβll be building my consistency from almost scratch in these last few months before my exam! Happy new year to everyone <3
10/12/25
Practiced number system, watched 2 lectures.
Finished reading budget, black money, capital account, deficits etc, watched 3 lectures.
Watched my ethics lecture but fell asleep midway. Iβll try to complete it today.
To-do 11/12/25 - Finish number system lectures with worksheets. Watch 2-3 more lectures for ethics, study & edit notes. Finish half of my int economics handout.
π§stranger things playlist (canβt wait for vol 2!)
30/11/25
Finished half of the important portions of art & culture from my handbook.
Couldnβt do medieval history pyqs but went through some answers copies.
Ramdhari singh dinkarβs poems always stay me through the hard times, these lines from vasudha ka neta are my favourite! I wish I could post the complete poem but its too long.
To-do for 1/12/25 - Finish art & culture and the pyqs of medieval history.
29/11/25
Solved ancient history, art & culture pyqs.
Finished fine arts ncert.
Studied temple architecture, gupta & mauryan architecture and rock cut caves.
It's getting colder and colder as the days passes, I need to catch my rhythm and finish important stuff by the end of december.
To do for 30/11/25 - Finish medieval history pyqs, finish art & culture handbook (atleast major portions)
22/11/25
Revised local self government.
Finished a big ass chapter on delhi sultanate.
Back after 10 or so days, I was not being consistent with my studies and hardly studied for 2-3 hours each day. But I tried to not beat myself up about it because I did need a break after finishing polity. Maybe it would help if Iβd take a break of 2 days every fortnight so that i donβt burn out after a while like I did this month. Anyways its fun to be back here again, Iβll post consistently this time to be self accountable!!!
To-do for 23/11/25 - Revise Judiciary, finish reading provincial kingdoms of medieval India, Start with 2A economy handout.
π§ haseen - talwiinder