Sometimes i wonder what this app was made for.

Looks like I post now. Uh. How about that. (Mostly analysis, memes and everything in between about Solops and KCD)

[bucketbender]

Headcanon : the reason why in kcd1 it’s written "interesting sites" on the map, whereas in kcd2 it’s written what this interesting site IS in details, is because in kcd1, Henry could barely read, let alone write.

So he’d mark points on his map with shitty stick drawings and would tell Hans at the Rattay tavern "Oh and here is where I found some sack with… wait- no, actually, there was some kind of little camp here under a dead tree where I rested. I think. Or maybe it was in THIS part of the forest over there…"

And Hans laughs and says "Seriously Henry ? You, the chosen one of Sir Radzig, you can’t even think to make NOTES of the things you see ?" And Henry looks at him straight in the eye : "I can’t write."

So Hans then proceeds to drop all jokes and teach him the way of the nobility - with some help from the Uzhitz scribe, admittedly. Not because he’s fond of the blacksmith, of course, just because, if someday, maybe, Hans needs a PAGE or anything, and Henry is around, he’ll fulfill that role. Or something. Whatever. Just a thought.

[bucketbender]

I just started (and finished) Heated Rivalry and it’s equally hysterical, horny and adorable. Anyway this scene reminded me of Hansry, feel free to draw it if you want (for context, these two are literally boyfriends here)

[bucketbender]

They are insane for this wording by the way

Right. Pick up Capon. Not like pick him up in the "lift him away from battle because he’s injured" way. No, it’s the very metaphorical "picking up my date before we go to the movies" way. Henry asking his date if he’s ready to go, waiting in front of his door. To pick him up.

Then we have the very formal and normal way a commoner may compliment a nobleman - not. Henry had been waiting to say that word and found the perfect occasion to make it seem casual. And of course, reassuring his bird that it’s okay to be stressed for a first date. We’ve all been there, my sweet, don’t worry. It’s probably Hans’ first actually prepared date, when you think about it. And his first with someone he actually values and cares about a lot, and who feels the same with him.

Not Hans caressing his freshly shaved jaw to make sure he’s presentable in front of the man who came to pick him up. Not Hans saying his heart will lead him and Henry will follow.

[bucketbender]

Been trying hardcore mode with every perk and so far, sleep walking Henry has woken up :

- in trash and shit heaps

- right in front of a chest, hidden away in a barn (definitely NOT about to sleep pick its lock)

- in Fritz’ cot (yes)

- in a stack of hay by the Uzhitz stables (fell asleep at Andrew’s inn. H-boy walked like he was going to kill Smaug himself)

- sharing the mud with the hogs

- in the middle of a flower field, in the rain, surrounded by sheep and admiring Rattay (relatable)

- on top of a haystack in a cart next to the monastery forge. I don’t even know HOW he managed to get up there.

- gazing into the shitter’s abyss

Conclusion : Henry sleep walks into every place that reminds him, by scent or aspect, of home. And that’s fucking sad man.

[bucketbender]

On one hand, I will forever be bitter that we had a whole love scene with Theresa, fully naked and zoomed in Witcher style, but Hans’ scene was blurry and far away. On the other hand, I will forever be grateful that the scene for Hansry was less focused on the sex and more on the theatrical, epico romantic symbolism of the two knights who fell for each other, starting and ending their stories by crossing swords. I am conflicted. I love these two games deeply.

[bucketbender]

… yeah, that child is definitely Henry’s. I’m so sorry, Hans, Theresa.

[bucketbender]

Henry flirting with Theresa : I have such fond memories of our old home with you. You mess up my head with your beauty. I like a different kind of girl. All mouth and green eyes. Oh. She kissed me. Wait shouldn’t we do the laundry-

Henry flirting with Hans : I am entirely devoted to you. As a squire, page, friend, bodyguard, anything in between and beyond. If anyone tries to harm you, I will take the hit without any hesitation whatsoever. When someone chastises or dismisses you, I will always stand up for you and correct the gossip when we’re apart. And I will care about you like no one ever has before. I will love you, in any way you would have me, but I will. Because I am yours. Your blacksmith, your knight, your Henry. Let me just lock the door.

[bucketbender]

Replaying the first game to escape reality and the way Hans drags Henry into the bathhouse quest. Gosh, what a lovable fool.

Henry asks why Hans wants to go to the baths specifically. Hans replies that, well, a hot bath does a man good. So Henry retorts with a smirk that yeah, it does, which is why Hans can bath in his castle anytime he wants. So Hans has to use the womanizer excuse and mention how he wants to go there for Klara, some wench he never mentioned and never will again after this, so his desire to spend time with Henry looks like skirt chasing instead of a need to bond with his only friend.

Then Henry asks how long that will last. Hans replies, well, for a few days at least - relaxation, baths and mud wraps in the day and fun and wine in the evening ! So what do you say, Henry ? Will you join me ? Because everything I’ve just described won’t be half as entertaining if I can’t share it with you.

Henry then mentions his wounds. Hans says he’d rather wobble over the baths with a cane, howling in pain, to spend time with Henry rather than staying safe but bored as hell. Which actually pretty much summarizes his entire existence from this point on.

Finally, Henry accepts. Oh boy oh boy oh boy. He’s coming ! After days of boring recovery, during which his last memories were of being held by Henry as they walked back (for like a dozen hours) to Rattay together, each minute talking to keep him awake, Henry’s hands careful of his wounds, his steps steady and his warm weight lulling, finally he’s up and going to have fun and hang out with his blacksmith boy again !

And moments of fun and relaxation are so rare with Henry in both games, no wonder he mentions them any chance he gets. Even memories that SHOULDN’T be remembered fondly, like all the times he fucking almost died and had Henry save his hide. But these memories are still heartwarming and deeply precious to Hans because Henry is in them.

[bucketbender]

Hans and Henry riding in the countryside in Kuttenberg region :

Bandit : Well, hello there. You look quite gentlemanly, the pair of you, in those fancy rags. Mind if I take it off your backs ? If not, there’s no telling what might happen to you.

Hans : Pah ! After all we’ve recently went through, you fucker, do you really think we’ll bow to-

Henry : What my companion means to say is… Wouldn’t you rather know where we stole it ?

Hans : What ??

Henry : The bailiff from the town we came from doesn’t lock up the Rathaus in the evening. Creep in after dark, and the loot’s yours. We didn’t take a lot ourselves. There’s plenty left.

Hans : I can’t believe-

Bandit : Mmh… alright. On your way then ! (walks away with a satisfied whistle)

Hans : … What the hell was that back there ?!

Henry : From what I saw, what it was is pretty hilarious. Especially the face you were making.

Hans : Aren’t you the roads’ notorious protector or… something !? You’re really just going to let that bandit walk around unpunished ??

Henry : He won’t be unpunished for long. The closest village in the direction we came from is Miskowitz. And they themselves had to deal with some… sausage thief, recently. Almost lost one of their own during the trouble, too. I garantee you they’ll be the most alert they’ve been in a while. If that bandit tries anything tonight, he’ll be caught before he can say "kurva".

Hans : Christ wounds, Henry ! Did you figure all this in that cranium of yours the second that madman accosted us, or is it some rehearsed speech you tell every fool who tries to rob you ?

Henry (shrugging, smirking) : A little bit of both.

[bucketbender]

Haven’t played with this update yet but. Mmmh.

[bucketbender]

Headcanon : the icon on Henry’s map when he fast travels is Hans because that’s how Henry doodles himself on his maps (he’s a messy boy, he’s probably lost, ripped and bought half of the region maps in both games). When Hans notices and asks about it, Henry replies that he wanted to draw a knight to represent himself in his travels, and the only person that came close as reference in his eyes was Hans - not the legendary, unreachable figures he’s heard of or read about. And he liked the idea so much that he just kept doing it on all his maps. Besides, he’s Hans’ bodyguard so logically, anywhere he is is where Henry is.

And Hans laughs and jokes in reply to hide that he’s absolutely enamored and WILL be making poems about this tonight when he’s alone in their shared room, yanking his noble pizzle.

[bucketbender]

Theresa taking care of a fevered and delirious Henry for a fortnight : Hallelujah, he’s awake ! Well, your fever is still present, but at least you’re conscious enough to speak. Here, drink this, and don’t forget to eat a bite, too. And it’s okay - you’re going to need a lot more sleep to get better. Get some more rest, Hal.

Hans if he had to do the same thing : Henry, you’re awake !! Thank Christ ! You were out for so long, I was about to wake you up myself ! How are you feeling ? Here- take some water. And food. Oh and also, by all that’s Holy- what the fuck were you thinking ?!? Taking all these bandits by yourself ?! Do you know the state you came back in ?? If you’d arrived just an hour later, you’d… you’d have… Just- just drink your marigold decoction. And you better not move an inch. I’ve tightened your bandage for that purpose, exactly. Now rest, you fool. And yes, I am staying to make sure you’re actually going to sleep peacefully for once.

[skodasforge]

I just saw your post about people hating Sam for the same reasons they love Henry for. And youre absolutely right. I saw someone say that they understand why Henry is like this because of Skalitz and argued that Sam didn't have that sort of trauma, which made me so mad because the pogrom is literally in the game? Sam tells us so so much about how hard it is to be Jewish in medieval Europe and I have the feeling that people simply just skip dialogue so often that they don't know what is happening with the characters

Henry directly compares the pogrom to Skalitz in dialogue with Hans!!! Sam’s anger and hatred of Von Bergow, the one who suggested it in the first place according to Sigismund as I recall. You can’t exactly be mad at him for deviating from the mission to kill Von Bergow when Henry has the option to deviate from the mission to kill Von Aulitz!

I don’t know if it’s a matter of skipping dialogue exactly but I do know from experience that sometimes when fans are only after one particular part of a narrative, they don’t really pay full attention to what’s going on beyond it. So, if you were playing for Hansry and Hansry only, or if you aren’t thinking deeper than Fun Knight Game, you might miss what the story is trying to do by having Sam parallel Henry so closely. Sam is Henry’s redemption, he’s going through many of the story beats as game one Henry with game two Henry at his side to step in and change his fate. Henry lost his parents at Skalitz, Sam saved his mother. Henry escaped even as everyone else was trapped in the castle, Sam made sure everyone got out. Henry got captured and tortured at Vranik by a scheming foreign nobleman and nearly lost everything because of it, Sam gets captured in the Praguer’s camp and Henry makes sure that scheming foreign nobleman dies for it. Sam is written as Henry’s mirror so that Henry can save his younger self (even though Sam is older than him lol), this is all part of Henry making peace with his past as represented by Martin telling him that he “kept his hands clean” by saving the innocent at Maleshov and the Jewish Quarter. All that thematic weight requires you to look beyond just the romance subplot, and I think many people just take it at face value that Hans doesn’t like Sam, so they shouldn’t either, when it’s so obvious, spelled out in some dialogue options even, that Hans doesn’t like him because 1) he’s jealous 2) he sees the same impertinent impulsive nature as Henry in him, and he didn’t like that about Henry at first either.

[bucketbender]

Absolutely true from start to finish. And may I add that I think in a way, the only thing that makes Henry and Sam different is that Henry is an extrovert while Sam is much more introverted.

Henry and Hans meeting, at first, is everything but a good experience, especially for Henry. Skalitz boy gets insulted and belittled in pretty much every sentence from Hans. But he fights it back instead with smirk, sarcasm, even teasing (like back at the Rattay tavern "No. It’s sir Hanush" or "Which clearly hasn’t happened yet…"). Which of course annoys Hans but also intrigues him. And they both carefully take steps toward the other, bit by bit, until the dry sarcasm and teasing slowly turns into more lighthearted jokes. Then Henry saves Hans and after making sure he’s okay, can laugh in relief and say he doesn’t look much noble anymore. And Hans laughs back, relieved and euphoric for Henry’s rescue and his daring, open personality.

Hans and Sam meet at Raborsch. And during the cutscenes inside the tower, you can actually see that they’re arguing together in the background at the same time as everyone else. So their first meeting doesn’t go very well either. Except that Sam isn’t like Henry. After a bad impression, he’s not going to try again with some hope that maybe it can go better. No, he’s going to remain with his first impression while keeping an eye on you to see if it was wrong, all while remaining in his comfort zone. And you can understand why. Most of the world isn’t kind to Jewish people - nobles even less. Being careful is just survival. And Hans isn’t the type to be as open as Henry is either. In that way, he and Sam are alike. It also doesn’t help that the Jewish quarter is raided and only Henry and Kubyenka go with him to save his people - the others being nobles and busy cleaning up Raborsch. Sam and Hans’ next confrontation is at Maleshov, where he sees Hans save another noble because that’s just how it is, something something lordly honor, giving your word you won’t harm another blue blooded man, even if he’s an absolute bastard, a snake and a murderer.

Needless to say, that doesn’t make Hans look better in Sam’s eyes. It’s also evident that he notices how devout Henry is to Hans, like he’s devout to everyone he cares about. And there’s probably the bitter thought in Sam that Henry would most likely (definitely) sacrifice himself for Hans, who, in his eyes, does nothing to deserve it. And you can totally understand why. All Hans has done from Sam’s pov is stay behind, protected from true bloodshed, and save Otto Von Bergow’s life of all people because of some lordly "code of honor".

So after all that, and knowing Sam’s more reclusive and wary personality, you can understand that he and Hans don’t exactly get along, although maybe the Suchdol siege at the end let them bond even just a little. And that’s without mentioning Hans’ pov about all this. Not only is he as stubborn as Sam in the matter of relationships, but he’s more concerned with his own freedom being cut short by his wedding announcement - not to mention, of course, the jealousy he feels about Sam toward Henry.

But as OP said themself, Sam is Henry’s mirror. This is what Henry and Hans could have been like if Henry wasn’t so hopeful and open to the world, despite all the atrocities its made him go through.

[bucketbender]

A bit obsessed with the idea of Italian being Hansry’s secret langage as they ride around the Kuttenberg region, with Henry showing Hans around. At first, only Hans would say mostly sweet things in Italian to tease Henry who wouldn’t understand, until Henry would have enough and buy a book to learn the langage from a scribe. Then Hans would be offended and say that he can very well teach Henry himself, had he asked ! So he does and soon enough, they’re exchanging simple sentences in Italian in front of good men and wives in the villages they pass by, throwing around words like caro or amore at each other while some peasant turning over his soil next to the road frowns at them in incomprehension. After all, they don’t need to be careful if they’re using another langage.

And since they’re both so smart and stupid, at some point they’d stop at an inn and Hans would bring their stuff to their room while Henry pays, smirking and exchanging a "Ciao, tesoro !". Right before the innkeeper, an actually well traveled man who settled down in this fine village, stares at Henry and asks "You two speak Italian ?"

… and only then do they decide to be careful even with a different langage.

[bucketbender]

Yep they’re in love.

[bucketbender]

I’ve seen so much of Hans fighting with loyal, sweet, self sacrificing, strong, sword wielding, knightly Henry - which he is of course. I just wish I (and Hans) saw more of every other Henry.

Give me thief Henry, who walks in Kuttenberg to show Hans around - then pickpockets some butcher, Emmeram apparently, because he’s a dick and won’t miss it, then gives Hans the ornate garnet cross he just stole from the man. Give me survivor Henry, who picks up poisonous herbs with his bare hands and - when Hans sees it and starts panicking - explains that he’s done this so much since he fled Skalitz that he can barely feel the poisonous stings anymore, like his body’s gone numb to the toxicity. Give me scholar Henry who gets stopped by a guard in town for a quick search and starts gaslighting the man by making him think that he’s a lawyer from Prague, until the guard backs down and Hans whistles at the feat, as surprised as impressed. Give me alchemist Henry who stops Hans from shooting bandits when their hunt is interrupted - instead, he gives him arrows dipped in Henry’s bane poison that kill their victims in exactly 10 seconds, leaving Hans dumb struck, intimidated and strangely turned on.

[eero7]

In 1419, we expect the young Hans Capon to die in battle… BUT IN MY UNIVERSE *ahem* he doesn’t… because Henry is there.

Hear me out. They say he died. They say he’s buried in the family crypt. But there’s no evidence. No one actually knows. The records just stop involving his name. Everything is presumed.

So in my universe of delusion, Hans is most definitely severely injured in battle. However, Henry sees this right? He runs over to him when the battle is calm. Henry hanging his head with sorrow and grief. Everyone is walking by whom survived sees this and goes “oh yes, Hans Capon died in battle,” and they simply move on. But as Henry is grieving he notices a sign of life. This is when he acts. This is when Henry is pissed at the world, the nobles, the politics, the war.

Henry scoops up Hans and finds a wagon and takes him to the nearest good wife and nurses him back to Health. By the time Hans recovers, his son has already taken his place and at this point, Hans is no longer a noble. He is a dead man walking. So that’s when they decide together. “Let’s not go back.”

I don’t know. I just refuse to believe Hans and Henry’s story ceases to exist. THERE HAS TO BE MORE

[bucketbender]

Ooooh I love your vision mate !! Absolute cinema.

It would be a choice, too. Do you call for help as they scream to find you on the now quiet battlefield ? Or do you ignore their pleas and embark Capon away to heal him yourself and maybe start over somewhere once he gets better ?

And when Henry would see Hans suffer the "final blow" during the fight, there would be THE theme. The one we hear when Henry looks at his parents dying and the Jewish quarter get raided. With a close shot of his face, once again. His big, blue, boyish eyes watching the scene like he’s back in Skalitz, watching his family be murdered, helpless, useless, despite being so close and holding a sword in his hand.

And that would make Henry go "fuck it, nothing matters", to see Hans die. So when he’s actually still alive, barely, the player would be more inclined to scoop him up onto Pebbles and escape. No more grand battles anymore. Just the two of them, hidden, safe, free.