Telling someone ‘fuck you’ is actually doing them a massive fucking favor.
Every single person on Earth, at one point or another, will get fucking full of their self and start pissing everyone off--regardless of their usual caliber of assholenitude. And when in that stage, it is necessary for another person, most likely a true friend, to come along and wake them up.
“You know what, man? You’re not fucking cool--you’re being a massive fucking prick and we all want you to shut the fuck up.”
Of course, this is pretty contrary to what many other sources will tell you to do.
When a college freshman is in Psych 101, and they get all analytical and shit for a semester and think they have immeasurable people-reading and conflict resolution skills, that textbook they’re filling their airhead with will tell them that the proper way to get someone to stop being in asshole is:
“Do not make the situation a confrontation. Avoid using ‘you’ phrases, and instead phrase the experience ‘I feel...’ in order to keep the discussion nonheated.”
Well, that shit’s wrong.
You’re literally placing the blame of another person’s shitty attitude on yourself, and framing it as though you’re simply weak, and they’re not an asshole. I guess you could call what comes of this a success, as it may indeed avert the undesired behavior, but it is merely TEMPORARY.
You’re only dancing around a problem, and trying to avoid it, rather than removing it entirely.
The key to actually solving conflictive behavior in a person is to get the idea itself into THEIR head. Hopefully, the asshole in question will gather something like, “if everyone is telling me I’m an asshole, maybe this is more than just coincidence and I should change something about my actions.”
As with most problems, the first step toward recovery is realizing and admitting that their is in fact a problem. And, also likewise, the necessary action is that of the afflicted, as only they can truly change fix themselves.
Of course, this can be a bit of an explosive process.
“You’re being an asshole.”
“Shut the fuck up! No I’m not!”
...It could go on for a while after that.
But no matter how explosive it is, if this person really is a genuine good person deep down, and is also capable of quality self-assessment and logical thinking (while taking into consideration the views and points of others), they’ll probably come back in a more pleasant form.
And, if not, then I guess the dirty, nasty truth is that they’re just a bad person, but this whole can of worms was worth opening, ‘cause you don’t need bad people in your life, as they will only bring you down.
This last pill may be a hard one to swallow--but it doesn’t matter who this nasty person in question is.
Your friend, your violin teacher, your own fucking wife for the past 13 years, or your father. If someone’s toxic, they should either be cured, or just removed entirely, for everyone’s sake. Hell, it could even be YOU.
If someone tells you you’re being a fucking asshole, yeah, go ahead and be offended, and maybe even a little defensive, but you should listen to them, ‘cause they’re not just saying it for no reason.
Well, maybe they are, but that’s a whole different dimension of this to be discussed another day.
Lastly, I will say that by ‘being an asshole,’ I mean a whole myriad of possible behaviors--drug addiction, crime, laziness, self-destructive behavior, just plain being mean, etc...
Those people are assholes, man.
