A/N: This is legit for shits and giggles, bro.
I slid into the backseat of the Uber, my mind already back at the office as I thumbed through a string of unread emails on my phone. I had barely closed the door when the driver glanced at me in the rearview mirror, his eyes crinkling with a slightly nervous smile. “Hey, uh, quick thing,” he said, one hand still loosely gripping the steering wheel. “Mind if I pick up another passenger on the way? It’s just a quick detour, and, you know… gas prices.” He mumbled, a little sheepishly, like he half-expected me to say no.
I hesitated, my thumb hovering over the glowing screen as my mind flicked to the ticking clock at the top corner. I had exactly twenty-two minutes left on my break before I needed to be back at the desk, but the way the driver’s eyes flicked nervously to the dashboard, I figured he could probably use the extra cash. “Um… sure, yeah, that’s fine,” I said, forcing a small, polite smile as I set my phone down, trying not to overthink it.
“Thanks, really appreciate it,” he said, his shoulders visibly relaxing as he merged back into traffic. A few minutes later, the car pulled up outside a small, nondescript café, and the driver gave a quick, sharp honk of the horn. The door beside me opened, and a figure ducked in, the rush of cool, coffee-scented air following him into the backseat.
I glanced up, instinctively scooting a little closer to the opposite side, and found myself staring at a familiar face. His eyes flicked over to me, squinting slightly before he quickly looked at the driver, one hand bracing against the edge of the door. “Uh, this is… this is the right car, right?” he said, his voice a little lower, a little rougher than I’d expected, his brow furrowing as he leaned back out to check the license plate. “Yeah, yeah, you’re good, man,” the driver assured him, throwing a quick, reassuring wave over his shoulder. “Just a little ride share, you know, nothing crazy.” He winced. “Sorry.”
The man hesitated, his eyes flicking back to where I sat, before shrugging and slid fully into the seat, pulling the door closed behind him. “Sorry,” he said as he settled back, his legs folding into the limited legroom with practiced ease. “Didn’t mean to, uh, crash your ride.” I managed a small, tight-lipped smile, my fingers twisting slightly in my lap as I glanced out the window, the awkward, too-close silence settling in almost immediately.
I knew his face, of course — his profile had been all over billboards and streaming ads for the past few months, some…clown? Comedian? Something. His latest project seemingly everywhere I looked. But the faint, polite nod I offered felt more appropriate than any starstruck gushing. “Alright, so… I guess we should introduce ourselves, since we’re, you know… carpool buddies now,” he said, his tone light and faint. He offered a hand, which I shook. “I’m Noah, aka BM2008.”
I gave my name in return, my voice a little more hesitant than I’d intended, and his eyebrows raised slightly. A few seconds ticked by, the soft hum of the engine and the low thrum of a forgotten pop song filtering through the speakers filling the otherwise oppressive silence. I glanced down at my phone, my thumb twitching against the side, a small, nervous habit I hadn’t quite managed to shake.
After another painfully quiet minute, I cleared your throat, my gaze flicking to the side as you forced myself to break the silence. “Um… I’m not, like… trying to make this awkward or anything,” I started, the words tumbling out a little faster, a little more unevenly than I’d meant. “I’m just… really bad at small talk. And… talking in general, actually. So, um, sorry if this is weird.”
For a split second, Noah just stared at me, before his arm reached into his bag and pulled out a sock. The silence was even stronger now as he—or the sock rather, started to talk. He didn’t break eye contact as he cracked the lamest jokes I’ve ever fucking heard before signing off with his signature production quote. I closed my eyes for a moment as I slowly turned my head towards the window and rolled it down to drown out the awkward silence. All of a sudden he slipped off the sock, but before he could put it back into his bag the sock lowkgenuinely started to move on its own as we mutually watched in confusion and fear. The driver questioned our outbursts and checked in the review mirror before letting out a startled sound as the car started to swerve. The googly eyes stared dead at Noah before it the air chucked him out past me, out through the window, and flew away into the abyss as the driver regained control of the vehicle before asking if we were alright. I blinked as I silently looked at the driver, who was stunned by the whole ordeal as I slowly raised my hand and opened my mouth. “Hey, you can drop me off at that bus stop over there..” I pointed as I purposely avoided the sad clown look Noah gave off. Once the car parked I quickly thanked the driver and lowkgenuinely…idk, idk how to end this
