The Argyle Gargoyle and Other Nonsense

A place to sort through my thoughts, selfies, and HRT adventures. Sometimes I give advice! My Friend Code is 1048-9722-8101!

[gatoaburrido-blog-blog]

[princesstigerbelle]

“You can’t see us”

[omalleyred-deactivated20171006]

I know who we all REALLY want to see in Disney’s live action reboots.

[wymanthewalrus]

Did I ever tell you guys how I actually semi-officially changed the canon of this movie

[kaptainkulak-deactivated2018032]

Oh?

[wymanthewalrus]

Yeah I got one of the lead writers to make something canon with help from my roommate and his dad.

[transhumanist-viking-deactivate]

give us the deets

[wymanthewalrus]

Ok so this all started with a fan theory I read on Reddit. Basically the theory was that since the only animals in the movie that are shown to be capable of speech used to be human, then any animal that can talk was at one point a human.

On Kuzco’s first night alone in the jungle, he sees a fly in a spiderweb. The fly screams “HELP ME” then gets eaten.

The theory was that that fly used to be human.

So my roommate really liked that theory and said “hey my dad is actually friends with the guy who wrote Emperor’s New Groove, he can ask him to confirm that theory for us.” (I’m not naming names here I don’t wanna get sued)

So a couple days later we get screenshots of my roommate’s dad’s email asking about the theory and the lead writer’s response:

“The fly is… Kuzco’s late father.”

My roommate’s dad: “is that canon?”

Writer: “It is now.”

So Kuzco’s dad was turned into an animal by Yzma, we assume, as part of her ploy to take the throne. It makes SENSE.

And that’s how I helped change the canon of a major Disney movie.

[thatgirlonstage]

Are you telling me Kuzco watched his own father get eaten alive in front of him, without ever knowing who he was, years after presumably thinking his father was already dead?

What the fuck?

[wikilifeadvice]

make your own foot scrub

[pochowek]

feet are pretty hard to make

dont call me a scrub ever again

[wikilifeadvice]

please stop making me read this

[anti-bright-places]

It doesn’t even make sense. You didn’t separate the “foot” and “scrub” with a comma which would have validated that comment.

[wikilifeadvice]

@anti-bright-places congrats youre smarter than everybody else

[anti-bright-places]

I tend to. I watch Sherlock, you know… 😉

[wikilifeadvice]

god I wish this was sarcasm

[lilgivenchyprincess]

Laying in bed together looking at memes is #romance

[feedmecomicart]

I KNOW HOW MY FILTHY MUTANT ABILITIES UPSET YOU, SCHMIDT. DON’T WORRY–

–YOU WILL DIE PURE. NO MAGNETISM 

JUST FISTS.

[trans-girl-nausicaa]

magneto is the real anti-nazi icon

[anunexpectedhotdwarf]

here, have Magneto punching a Nazi because we all need this right now

[urbanspaceman-deactivated201908]

@irisbleufic

[straightboyfriend]

there is no medical component to a trans kid transitioning

if a little trans boy comes out to his parents & is like 4 all youd do for his transition is cut his hair, buy a new wardrobe, & switch pronouns & possibly change names

no one is gonna put a little 4 year old on testosterone OR puberty blockers until theyre actually about to start puberty & then they give them a few years to really decide if they want to start hormones

a trans kid existing isnt “child abuse.” child abuse is refusing to let your kid live their lives as they truly are & forcing them to present as a gender they arent

[straightboyfriend]

radfems who interact with this post will be blocked & your argument will not be read or even considered. i do not care about the opinion of a transphobe & my original post still stands.

[sapphiccore]

this is… so pure

[kittenfossils]

stay there forever

[onlyblackgirl]

We had a cow that would do this. You could take naps on her all day.

[dr-archeville]

my name is cow I see you nap and so I come to lay on lap

soon will be time to lik the bred but per this rhyme ur now my bed

[suppermariobroth]

Mario accidentally brings about Luigi’s demise in one of the endings to the “Dinosaur Dilemma” book from the Nintendo Adventure Books series.

[babyionian-deactivated20200611]

what iun the fuck

[babyionian-deactivated20200611]

me:  "you know, you guys don’t have to put bump mapping on every texture"

Nintendo:  "shtu the fuck up. fucjk you"

[mioxenoblade]

Cheese, estradiol and spironolactone pizza.

[sovietshopaholic]

The absolute fucking madwoman

[theargylegargoyle]

Need a glass of pickle juice to wash it all down with

[jointphotographicexportsgroup-d]

[zlandael]

[crowholtz]

rose’s top 10 most played overwatch heroes (in order)              (insp. by this gorgeous gifset)

[oshawottprincess-deactivated201]

[trentacool-deactivated20141231]

what did this bird do

[grandtheftputo]

I wish i had context on this 

[nevynerviine-deactivated2015041]

here u go

[rorytelling]

I don’t think the contexts helps in this case.

[depressionlemon-deactivated2016]

I’ve been collecting these for a while so here are all the ones you missed

[jet-grind]

[thegmsighs]

know the difference

It has come to my attention that many people mistake wyverns for dragons, so here’s a post to help you remember

Dragon: 4 legs, 2 wings

Wyvern: 2 legs, 2 wings

Drake: 4 legs, flightless

Wyrms: long snake like body with no appendages, can also appear as a traditional Chinese dragon with 4. Legs and no wings yet can fly

Amphithere: 0 legs 2 wings, can be feathered

Lindwurms: 2 legs, 0 wings, long body

Luck dragon: 4 legs, no wings, can fly, long body, furry with dog like face

Komodo dragon: 4 legs, no wings, real

Bearded dragon: 4 legs, 0 wings, often kept as pets

[kick-my-ass-for-free]

as a person passionate as fuck about dragons, i stand by this post

please understand

[official-albert-wesker-deactiva]

This is why the “dragons” in Skyrim bother me so much.

[idiopathicsmile]

went to a househunters-watching party over the weekend; here’s my impression of the show

VOICEOVER: She wants a historically accurate thirteenth century castle in the heart of bustling downtown L.A. He has his heart set on living in a small metallic orb that would float over a bottomless gorge, beyond space and time. Can this pair of newlyweds see eye to eye???

WIFE: The location is nice but I don’t know about these staircases…I just had my heart set on an escalator made of sand and artisan brie.

HUSBAND: Well it’s definitely not a small floating metallic orb.

REALTOR: That…would defy several laws of physics.

WIFE (squinting): Do you have anything that is simultaneously larger, cheaper, newer, and more historic?

REALTOR: Um.

WIFE: And I need a big kitchen. I love to cook!

(Cut to footage of the wife in her current kitchen, wearing an apron and surrounded by pots and pans. She is hitting a banana with a hammer. On the counter next to her is a pile of doll hair.)

HUSBAND: Yeah, get her a nice kitchen. Of course, I won’t be spending any time in there, ha ha! (His laugh is loud but his eyes are so empty. They are empty all the way back.)

WIFE: And I need a room for my shoes. That is simply non-negotiable.

HUSBAND: Also, if we can swing it with our budget, I’d love a finished basement where I can really unwind and stew in my toxic masculinity and repressed emotion. And hardwood floors.

WIFE: And hardwood floors.

HUSBAND AND WIFE IN EERIE UNISON: Hardwood. Floors. (somehow it sounds like way more than two voices, more like the collective whisper of an army)

REALTOR: Okay, I will certainly, um. See what I can do? Anyway, this next house, it’s a metallic orb hanging on a sturdy cord near a ravine—

WIFE: Well it’s definitely not a genuine thirteenth century castle—

HUSBAND AND WIFE: (stare at each other in open contempt)

REALTOR: Heyyy so why don’t we take a look inside?

[sloothsloth-deactivated20170523]

@sweetsugarstar

[olivemeister]

my mother watches this show all the time and i would just like to say this impression is spot-on