Lapin Vaudeville

Lapin the Magician MDNI

[bunbunlapin]

🎪🎟️MDNI! 18+ No Minors!🎟️🎪 “Life’s a stage… but death? That’s when the real show begins!”

Part of the Lutualverse (other interactions welcome!)

🎪Mod: Pseudobun (Evie) 23 she/her

🎪 18+ slight nsfw topics

🎪 Queue is mostly first come first serve, unless the bit requires otherwise.

🎪 Anxiety go brrr feel free to Dm if I've crossed a line and I will do my best to fix it (Dms will not be in character)

🎪Lapin’s opinions do not necessarily reflect mod’s opinions… on any topic. I have received hate for some of these opinions in the past so I would like to make that clear

other blogs and lutual statements

[adam-the-dickmaster]

Yeah, must be somewhere here. Quick, bitch, check the drawers! -🎸

He starts rummaging through Vienna's handbags and clothes, hoping to find the card in there. Then he freezes, as the loud but dangerously calm voice fills the room.

What the hell are you two doing? -🌸

[bunbunlapin]

Lapin snapped upright a little too fast from the drawer she’d been rifling through, a lacy bra dangling from one hand.

“Vi! Hi!” she chirped, voice too sugary, all faux friendliness honed from years of wriggling out of tight spots. “We were just… uh… surprise cleaning! Oui, oui, very thorough cleaning!”

[adam-the-dickmaster]

...

...So ya don't know, and just want me to do all the job and guess based on your vague hints, right?

Alright slut, I don't mind playing your woman games. Hope this guarantees me a reward tonight. -🎸

Adam grabs Lapin again, then swoops down from the roof right to the threshold of the Heaven Embassy, which has already become a new home for him during all this time in hell. Not giving Lapin a single minute to come to her senses, he goes inside and sneaks to Vienna's room. It's hard to go unnoticed for someone this big, but he's doing well so far.

[bunbunlapin]

Lapin squirmed in his grip, then the moment her boots hit the floor she slipped free and immediately yanked open the nearest door. No hesitation. No stealth.

“In here?” she stage-whispered, already halfway inside, before glancing back over her shoulder, ears flicking with impatient energy.

[writersisland]

“You two are equally unhealthily insane about each other.”

“Thank you.”

“That... was not a compliment.”

[bunbunlapin]

Hello lovelies,

I’m so sorry for the abrupt post, but I wanted to be upfront. I’m going to be taking a hiatus for a bit.

I’ve had a few genuinely scary health issues come up over the past month (including a super secret unexpected hospital visit), along with some difficult family matters. Because of that, I’ll likely be stepping back from roleplay until at least after Christmas.

I’m truly sorry to anyone I owe replies to. When I’m back, I’ll reach out to see if you’d like to continue threads or if you’d prefer to let them rest. Either way is completely okay.

Anyone who needs to reach me knows how, but please don’t feel obligated to check in. I appreciate you all more than I can say.

Happy roleplaying, Evie

[bunbunlapin]

She

[adam-the-dickmaster]

As if we have a bunch to choose from! She only has one.

So.. whatcha wanna buy when we get it? -🎸

[bunbunlapin]

Lapin’s ears twitched, a mix of exasperation and reluctant amusement curling her lips.

“What do I want? Something shiny… something that screams spectacle. Impress me, mon cher.”

[adam-the-dickmaster]

Adam smirks, landing on someone's roof and looks back, making sure no one's following them.

Well, you must admit that my plan worked flawlessly!

Now all we have to do is borrow this big booty bitch's credit card, so we can have some more fun until she sees the first notifications. -🎸

[bunbunlapin]

Lapin steadied herself on the tiles, hair wild, breath sharp.

“Flawlessly? You nearly turned me into confetti,” she hissed, though a grudging thrill still flickered in her eyes.

At his next words, she blinked, then pinched the bridge of her nose. “Adam… mon cher… that is not borrowing. That is theft.”

A beat.

“…Which card are we taking?”

[adam-the-dickmaster]

... -🎸

Adam immediately grabs Lapin's wrist, lifts her like a doll and flies out of the bar, breaking the window on his way.

[bunbunlapin]

Lapin shrieked as she was yanked off her feet, her wrist caught in his grip before she even had time to curse.

“Adam— ADAM! Put me down you overgrown feather duster!” she howled as the two of them were launched through the window, glass shattering in a glittering rain around them.

Her legs kicked uselessly in the air, her hat nearly flying off as she clung to it with her free hand.

“Mon dieu, I am a magician, not a projectile!”

Despite the panic, despite the chaos, despite the wind slapping her in the face—

A tiny, exhilarated laugh broke through her scream. “You absolute lunatic!”

[adam-the-dickmaster]

Are you blaming me for this shit? This pissy bitch gets mad for no fuckin' reason, what could I do? I can only--

...

...You know, I think I've got an idea. -🎸

[bunbunlapin]

Lapin’s ears perked, her posture snapping taut with suspicion.

“Oh, non non non, do not you dare trail off like that,” she said, jabbing a gloved finger toward him. “Every time a man pauses dramatically, it means trouble, bankruptcy, or jail time, and I have already done two of those.”

She narrowed her eyes, edging closer despite herself.

“…What kind of idea, exactly?”

[adam-the-dickmaster]

Ehhhhh...

Haha, you see.. that's.. uh... -🎸

[bunbunlapin]

“Spit it out, mon cher. I’ve got nothing but a hat full of odds and ends to my name, and I am not ending up stuck with the bill.”

[adam-the-dickmaster]

...

...BITCH YA HEARD IT? SHE ACTUALLY CALLED ME THAT! AT LEAST SOMEONE HERE KNOWS HOW TO TREAT A MAN PROPERLY! RIGHT, V??? RIGHT???? FUCK YOU! -🎸

[your-favorite-therapist]

...That's it. I'm fucking out of here. I didn't drink here, so the check is on you. -🌸

Vienna growls, then turns away and quickly leaves the building.

[adam-the-dickmaster]

...Oh. Oops.

Heh. Aw man, we're fucked. -🎸

@bunbunlapin

[bunbunlapin]

Lapin blinked at him, baffled. “Fucked? What do you mean we’re fucked? I know she’s your accountant… or whatever she is… but she can’t just—” She gestured sharply. “She can’t stop you from paying, right?”

[adam-the-dickmaster]

Then I'll need to change into my extermination fit 'cause ain't no fucking way you'll do this when I'm in white clothes. This is my only clean robe! -🎸

[bunbunlapin]

Lapin buried her face in her hands, muttering a string of annoyed, almost chirping sighs, before dragging them down to press against her hips. He was still rich, probably powerful, and now she knew he might be willing to kill her. She needed to play her cards carefully... not that she knew how to do that.

“No need to change on my account… Dickmaster.” she mumbled through gritted teeth, wincing at his preferred nickname.

[adam-the-dickmaster]

Ooh, you've already thought of a pet name, haven't ya, babes?

Écoutez, je préférerais toujours le "Dickmaster" à tout le reste, mais celui-ci fera l'affaire.* -🎸

*Look, I'd still prefer the "Dickmaster" over everything else, but this one will do.

[bunbunlapin]

"... I'm going to bite you"

[adam-the-dickmaster]

Ugh. Rude! What do you mean I'm "ouf"?? -🎸

[bunbunlapin]

Lapin let out an exasperated sigh, pinching the bridge of her nose. “You’re not—ouf is like… how do you say… phew. Like—” she waved her hand for emphasis, “'ouf, il pleut des cordes', or 'ouf, quelle journée', or 'ouf, mon amant est un dangereux maniaque homicide!'*... things like that.” *“'Phew, it's raining cats and dogs', or 'Phew, what a day', or 'Phew, my lover is a dangerous homicidal maniac!'"

[your-favorite-therapist]

Adults?

Vienna cocks an eyebrow.

Mhm. Sure. -🌸

[adam-the-dickmaster]

Usually I would agree that this lame purple party pooper needs to be shut up but she's speaking the damn truth, bitch! I am the first man! Wasn't it fuckin' obvious? -🎸

@bunbunlapin

[bunbunlapin]

For the first time in what felt like forever, Lapin paused mid-argument, letting her eyes drift away from Adam’s face (just for a moment) to take in the rest of him: his clothes, his wings, the whole ensemble. Slowly, the pieces began to click into place, and a faint, genuine awe tugged at her voice.

“You’re not… messing with me, are you?” she breathed, hand fluttering through the air in disbelief. “You’re actually… ouf... that's..." For maybe the first time since she fell to Hell, she's at a complete loss of words.

[pettyprompts]

“All of the magic I’ve done isn’t even real. It’s just sleight of hand.”

“I know.”

“You know? How long have you known?”

“Well…”

“Twenty years. Twenty years I’ve been touting the fact that I’m a magician and you knew I was faking it the entire time!”

“In my defense, you’re pretty good at magic tricks and you were always so excited to show me.”