Worlds of Ursula K. Le Guin (2018), dir. Arwen Curry
The next line of her speech is also great: “Any human power can be resisted and changed by human beings.”
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Worlds of Ursula K. Le Guin (2018), dir. Arwen Curry
The next line of her speech is also great: “Any human power can be resisted and changed by human beings.”
the awakened portal incursion event/storyline is actually an intensely fascinating bit of lore and it both ties together a bunch of mists lore and adds kind of new angles on it and i think everyone should appreciate it with me
its easy to miss if you didnt do the achievements for it especially as it was kind of unfolding live but what it is is that a bunch of the awakened that were traveling through the portal from fahranur to rata primus during the instant the commander destroyed rata primus sort of got turned into fractals. like literally.
it builds off of what we already knew from fractals + mistlock sanctuary + wvw (yes) that the mists loves creating 'ripples' of things that touch it, which it'll near infinitely spit out repeated echo copies of, and so the awakened that were going through that portal when the destination become lost basically hit the mists so hard that it kind of instantly obliterated them and replaced them with mists clones of themselves. on top of that, they just get launched through rifts into places at random because this is what happens when gates get damaged, and this actually happens to braham and the commander at the end of A Bug In The System as well-- we just don't get turned into fractal copies because the gate was damaged as opposed to destroyed. yay!
what's also neat to me, though, is that as opposed to the fractals* we are familiar with, the fractal awakened are actively decaying. (*this includes mistlock sanctuary and wvw and revenant legends, which are also all fractals or things functionally similar. wahoo!)
here's the bits from ninn's journal about it that i really like:
Comparisons against archived golem scans indicate that the Awakened observed have significant degradation consistent with extraplanar overexposure. Left unopposed, they degenerate after a period of minutes into undifferentiated material. ---- The collapse of portal integrity, in the abscence[sic] of a stable endpoint, caused a phenomena inversion, obliterating the Awakened and trapping their remnants in an interstitial state. See related studies attached [clearance check]. The current attacks are created by this Mist-based repetition phenomenon, similar to the research submitted by [clearance check]. The attacks do not represent a new strategy on the part of Awakened command and do not pose tactical or political challenge to existing Peacemaker forces in their areas. The repetition phenomenon will decay until attacks case in approximately [clearance check] years.
what this sort of implies and what makes sense with the current mists lore we have is that, as i mentioned with the ripples, the 'seize onto something and constantly make rippled echo fractal copies of it' thing is something the mists just sort of... does. it's just a gigantic magic pond and everything that touches it ripples across it.
what sets the actual Fractals of the Mists Dungeon apart, as well as mistlock, is that dessa invented machines that basically grab onto these ripples and force them to constantly repeat themselves ad infinitum (Ha Ha) with a sort of forced hard timeline reset so that she can study them without them decaying
what's Also neat and horrifying about it is that we know from both SOTO and the mistlock sanctuary npcs that the people who live within fractals *are* real people-- presumably part of why dessa makes the fractals loop is to preserve the purity of the fractals/the original events within, otherwise the people inside would just begin making their own decisions as they slowly faded away. the SOTO fractal islands are sort of functionally different, but they are not forced to flow in a loop and can leave the islands without it being a problem, so they get to live out their lives. the fractalized awakened are not being stabilized by any sort of mechanism, but also cannot leave, which means that even though they're sort of 'walking ghosts' who are only pale copies of their original selves, they are both fully sentient and have awareness! potentially even an awareness that something is wrong! neat stuff!
@meeeeeeese FUN FACT ABOUT THIS
as per the shattered observatory dialogue, arkk actually was on the right track. the problem and why it doesn't work is just that the arkk and dessa that we, the player, see within shattered are the 'fractal versions' of them-- it's a bit of a loose end because we know that the "real" arkk was in the fractals at one point (we read his journals in chaos where he talks about being stuck in a fractal and leaves the pages behind), and they left behind fractal impressions (remember the mists seizes and makes echoes of everything that touches it like i mentioned), and the fractal versions have self awareness as mentioned too, and they hit a sort of impasse where they specifically cannot leave because they are no longer real. it's never been specified where the real actual dessa and arkk went off to, if anywhere.
that said, i didn't actually know/remember the lore bit about the void, and i'm assuming u mean the dragonvoid here. i'd LOVE a link to whatever it's from since i guess i glazed over it. but it's making me realize a kind of fun, probably unintentional similarity--
in the dragons storyline, the dragons are usually referred to has having 'colors' or 'wavelengths' of magic to play off of aurene's theming as a light/crystal dragon, and the void suitably is black darkness because that's what you get when you combine all colors and so on. so this bundle of different light colors/magics that is capable of apparently unbinding fractal-esque constructs, yeah?
arkk's fractal-smashing machine, the DDR, is properly called the diaphanous diffraction randomizer. yknow, diaphanous as in 'light' or 'translucent', and 'diffraction' as in that thing that waves of light do where they scatter upon hitting a prism! going to paste the dictionary definitions for zest in the post
so, in both cases, it's a fun connection of themes for forces that in some way mess with the "wavelengths" of magic like focusing light through a prism or compounding colors together haha
not to make an already long post even longer but the mists are SOOOOOOOOOO interesting and while the majority of Specific lore we have is from gw2, there is a lot of weirdness explored in gw1! like razah—
The protomatter that makes up the Mists strains toward creation, often spawning demonic creations in nightmarish forms. Not all creatures from the Mists are demonic, however. When the Mists come into contact with a suitable human template, for example, it can copy that form, creating a sentient entity with humanoid appearance and an almost human mind.
Razah is one such creation. It has sprung into being a fully-formed adult. It has the knowledge and capabilities of a human, but lacks common sense. As a result, it asks odd questions about human emotions, contemplates human motivations, and attempts to duplicate human mannerisms. Razah is a contradiction: more than human in some ways, and less than human in others. It needs an identity, a personality, and a purpose. Hopefully, it will find its purpose by working with a hero. Otherwise, it could degenerate into an abomination as monstrous and inhuman as its demonic brethren.
or the foundry of failed creations (and by extension the realm of torment, door of komalie, and everything to do with abaddon and the mursaat)— this particular section of gw1 lore is incredibly complicated but basically the foundry is a place in the mists which has been sculpted by various powerful species to contain the most incomprehensible, broken, demonic creations of the mists.
and here is concept art for the titans (tormented souls thrown into then twisted by the foundry), which looks remarkably similar to kryptis design!
the mists takes and copies and creates and destroys. it is everything and nothing. it is life and death. it is time and space, never and constant and everywhere and endless. and we have portals breaching it in every major city which most people treat with the same everyday banality, annoyance, and regard as a public bus service
A strange alien doctor stands near the unconscious body of Padme Amidala. “It appears she has lost the will to live.” A older man with a limp hobbles closer with the aid of a cane. “That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard,” says Dr. Gregory House.
-Keeps Padme on life support despite DNR, somehow this ends in him getting punched by Obi-Wan
-Immediately starts putting her on every treatment known to man
-Walks over to Wilson’s office, which is the only part of the entire ship that just looks the same as it does in the show
-Homoerotically complains about how stupid Jedi are, then makes a bet with Wilson on whether Obi Wan is gay or the father of Padme’s twins (Wilson wants House to believe people can be faithful)
-Padme almost dies again. Turns out the treatment’s not working
-“if the dark side nearly killed her, maybe it can save her”
-House uses force lightning to restart Padme’s heart
-Gets brought into Cuddy’s office and told off for using an experimental treatment, and the power of the dark side, in her hospital
-House is taken off the case and foreman is put in charge of the case
-Padme is unexpectedly doing better, but Cuddy refuses to tell House or else he’ll be using the dark side to save all his patients
-House watches on as Wilson tries seducing a relieved Obi Wan while he paces in the lobby. Doesn’t seem to work
-House interrogates Obi Wan about his relationship with Padme, insinuates it’s Obi Wans Fault. Gets in a struggle and once theyre seperated it’s revealed he ripped out some beard hair
-Padme is getting released from the hospital but crashes again with obvious signs of infection. Everyone blames the dark side of the force
-is put in intensive care again, everyone thinks she’s going to die, House is brooding.
-House meets Bail Organa and talks to him, Bail mentions how he was so worried about her the last time she was in a hospital, and this seems much more hopeless
-“what time she was in the hospital?”
-House marches in as they’re about to pull the plug, rolling Padme’s unconcious body over to point at dark spot on the back of her neck
-Foreman looks disapointed, “it’s a bruise house, her husband nearly snapped her neck.”
-“Our princess’ boyfriend here failed to mentioned she was scratched by a Nexu on Genosis years ago. Nexu claws are known as a vicious poison.”
-“it would have killed her years ago”
-“unless a small chunk of claw stuck in her back, working into the muscles near the nape of her neck for years. The little prince of Darkness chokes her, pressure and muscles spasming lets it work into a blood vessel. It’s why the force lightning only was a bandaid, it vaporized what was in her bloodstream but broke up the rest of the claw and let it enter in her bloodstream. Start her on dialysis, she’ll be fine by tomorrow afternoon.”
-Next day Padme’s wheeled out of the hospital with her two children, bittersweetness. House watches from balcony before going back to his office
-Wilson enters with his shirt unbuttoned and a few bruises on his neck, declaring, “the Jedi is gay. I win.”
-House holds up a paternity test, “he’s bisexual, it’s a draw”
This is the crossover I didn’t know I needed 😂
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
I FINALLY FINISHED! I’m so proud of myself for seeing this labor of love through. The next question is, do I focus on the Prequel or sequel next?
Chapters: 25/25 Fandom: Guild Wars 2 (Video Game), Guild Wars Series (Video Games), Guild Wars (Video Game) Rating: Mature Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Trahearne/Female Player Character (Guild Wars) Characters: Caithe (Guild Wars), Trahearne (Guild Wars), Rytlock Brimstone, Eir Stegalkin, Zojja (Guild Wars), Destiny's Edge (Guild Wars), Logan Thackeray, Doern Velazquez, General Almorra Soulkeeper, Laranthir (Guild Wars), Female Sylvari Player Character (Guild Wars), Forgal Kernsson, Apatia (Guild Wars), Riannoc (Guild Wars) Series: Part 1 of The Commander Summary:
Tearnanog has left her Vigil post in Ascalon at the beckoning of her Mentor, Caithe, and the Pale Tree. They claim she will be undertaking missions that will further her Wyld Hunt - to end Elder Dragons - but Tearnanog is not so certain. Caithe and her had never got on well together, so Tearnanog is grateful to paired on her mission with Trahearne. The First of Firstborns is not who she expected him to be, and as they travel through Tyria, Tearnanog learns more than just magic from the Firstborn. Their unlikely partnership is put under fire when the two must figure out how to forge a pact out of the three squabbling Orders of Tyria. Their goal: End the Elder Dragon Zhaitan.
(This is based off of Guild Wars 2. All of the stuff that comes from GuildWars 2 belongs to Arena Net. )
Just a gaggle of Commanders, nothing to see here
Alone in Orr…
I said what I said
Taimi is one of my FAVORITE characters
warning this quiz WILL have spoilers up to and including LWS4 but i'll try avoid any major blatant icebrood saga ones. that said i'm sourcin
my uquiz is done, i encourage everyone to take it even people who don't know anything about gw2. and please tell me what you get
Good show, this made me giggle. “We’d vibe”
The way how they killed off Trahearne always bugged me but since recently I played through HoT again with my friend, I noticed even more things that annoy me. Ramble incoming.
For one, I find the "seed in the mind" explanation an incredibly bullshit "twist" (the purpose of killing Mordremoth in his own mind was so that we could actually kill him - every extension should have died with him! Even that "seed"), but arguably it could work, so let's not waste too much time on it.
Compare Trahearne's death scene to Eir's instead.
In the cutscene, we get a closeup of Eir's face when the Vinetooth lands behind her, showing how she realizes the situation she is in, then she stands up, faces the enemy, preparing for the inevitable with dignity. We get a second closeup of her face showing defiance and determination, and then the Vinetooth strikes. After the fight, we have the option to kneel beside her ("Honor Eir"), and then we slowly walk away. While I don't particularly like why they killed her, I think the way her departing was depicted was fair and given the weight it deserved.
Trahearne's death scene is about the egg.
The cutscene about Trahearne's death, instead of being about him, is showing how the egg absorbs Mordremoth's magic. Furthermore, he is barely even himself at the moment of his death - the dragon is already talking through him! Actually, I do want to talk about the "seed in the mind" a bit more here: it was so incredibly unnecessary! Letting Trahearne die because of his wounds would have been just as tragic, and then we could have had the whole egg-cutscene right after the bossfight. Trahearne's death could have been the bitter aftermath - instead it was turned into a teaser for LWS3. This is not what he deserved.
To top it off, I also have this small part of the dialogue which is actually borderline funny to me:
The fact that it's the Commander who offers the solution to the problem (that an entire city full of asura couldn't figure out), and not the guy who has been connected to the jungle dragon this whole time, it's just hysterical. The way how Canach approves and Trahearne is like "oh shit right I can help with that", nowadays it just makes me laugh. It's such a big and easily avoidable mistake. Just let Trahearne offer the solution. Make his presence in this instance actually count.
tl;dr: I'm more upset about the way Trahearne died than about his death.
People with Trahearne lived AUs, I owe you my life.
when canach was hiding in a bomb trap carpeted cave while doused in berserker zero pain dust, the commander walks in there and gets him out without killing him so they can hear what he has to say
when you face mordremoth, if you trust canach enough to bring him and he confronts his mind clone, the reverse can happen, where canach stops before killing the clone and likens it to how he refuses to negate himself this time, and like how he’s already done that in trying to live up to being the person you saved
He saw you act with compassion when you had no reason to and learns to apply that to himself instead of being self destructive
And if that’s not the most romantic thing in the fucking world get out of my face
Commander: wow you’re addressing your personal issues constructively?
Canach: I LEARNED IT FROM WATCHING YOUUU
the blighted canach knows his thoughts and weaknesses and argues his deepest self-doubts to his face to try and get him to give up. He says “you lack focus” despite being very capable, referring to the abysmal way he handled Southsun and illustrating his ongoing guilt over it.
Blighted canach tells the real canach that Mordremoth will provide him with focus and strength, to tempt him. If he gives up his free will and accepts a master he’ll never be plagued by failure or guilt. When the Commander met canach and handed his ass to him and gave him a chance to reform for the better, they became the focus he relies on. The temptation doesn’t work because he has us, he follows us although he doesn’t have to, he returns to the Commander after earning his freedom and stands on the precipice of the apocalypse with us despite not being in our guild - because he defers to our leadership out of choice.
He shrugs off having his self-doubts tossed in his face because we’re there for him and back up what he lacks
Canach: “We shouldn’t have come. I knew it. We shouldn’t have come.”
The Commander: “We had to, there’s safety in numbers.”
Canach: “There’s also death in numbers, Commander. It’s called a massacre.”
Giggled way too much at this. I’m on a Canach Binge tonight it seems
Hey @commanders-sole-braincell we’re going to get run out of tumblr at this rate
My poor Cactus deserves joy
like if yall wanna know what season 1 was like it was racist
scarlett voice: Oy Guvna! wont to see me dew ah bit a systematic environmentew damage??? cheerio, mayte!!!!!
-scarlet voice- time to cweate sistemic raisicm!
ok so
when scarlet attacked and lions arch was in its trying to save everyone meta, there were npcs that would be talking about sylvari in general. before we were kind of speculative of the vari because scarlet was saying some cryptic assed shit but because of her it created a huge panic in the city. one pair of npcs near the bank vault in particular talked about leaving a sylvari to die in the rubble because they couldnt be trusted! because scarlet and canach were both sylvari there was a lot of constructed fear centered around them. then on top of that we find out in season 2 when LA is recovering that the dragon is awake. this REALLY starts the prejudice ball rolling with the other races blaming the sylvari for scarlet
it was textbook racism. the sylvari were created and it was curious yes but before them the world still had bad guys. but since one of them turned out bad the other races blamed the vari. which just brings into question: what about liches? mad king thorn? khilbron? adelburn, or the khan-ur? the dragons THEMSELVES?
it was super racist because one vari was quantified against the whole fuckin race meanwhile the other ones had straight up dogass WARS. the guild wars themselves! the other races also have bloody hands.
edit: also yeah marjory was no stranger to the prejudice. she was an Active Participant all the way to the silverwastes
beyond even that, we learned in season 2—through memories of events that happened WAY BEFORE the events of the game—that asura had been actively kidnapping and experimenting on sylvari (this happened just after the secondborn awoke) for the purpose of like furthering scientific knowledge of the “flora” of the world, right, but what was done to them was traumatizing to these newly awoken secondborn sylvari. it would be traumatizing to anyone!!
not that the events of season 1 led to that, but scarlett’s actions led the main protagonists to learn some downright horrific shit that has ALWAYS been done to sylvari. scarlett had some issues and by no means was she a good character, but her influence showed us as the audience a side of the REST of tyria that i think none of us really noticed before!
actually the world technically already knew about it because of what happened to (my darling) firstborn malomedies. they experimented on him first! he was the first sylvari to be seen by another race and it was an asura who thought a sexy addition to his wardrobe would be several holes drilled into his torso. then they said oops we didn't know he was sentient and then went and experimented on the secondborn.
In my opinion we are seeing the development of not just characters but the development of a deeply fractured world and its not going to stop with icebrood saga considering canthas ministry of purity
From the human only world of gw1 to different views in gw2 we see and know that tyrias only been cooperating really during this time with the commander leading the pact. With how shattered and wartorn the entire land is the only way that races know how to deal with an attack like scarlett and HoT is by bringing up their blades and attacking back (or sweep it under the rug and ignore ir because it doesnt involve you). It doesnt help that every race is deeply patriotic to their own people with how they are raised.
Its really really unfortunate that the sylvari which when you as a player have known is a fairly friendly and curious race are the ones to be that first catalist of how tyria deals with its racism. In a post WWII world we know taking one entire race and labeling them bad and internment camping them for the actions of one or a handful is bad- its especially an issue or red flags if your the player and you agree with what is going on.(theres a heart in hot i dont like for that reason but its one MEANT to make you deeply uncomfortable and not want to do it). Its also been a good way to take people who have never faced racism in that way to experience what people have in real life if you main the character race being pushed down.( I kinda actually hope guild wars 2 makes us feel more uncomfortable about the topic of violent colonization of lands especially with not just the charr but centaurs and tengu coming into play but its a hard topic considering theres many living on lands like that today, myself included. The fact that the native race of ascalon fought back and won was a impressive thing to read about when i first got into the game if im honest. I also hope the inquest gets really pulled into the open more and will lose complete standing in rata sum as its weird that they are an acceptable though slightly frowned upon part of rata sum..just...just existing there... because they have their uses to the asura in power)
In bjora marches you can hear a few dialogue pieces of why they are keeping the male norn around when they are so much more likely to turn and were part of the reason the massacre happened. They've learned they need to trust their companions and if they do stray far they know you need to put the effort into bringing them back. (Helps that we dont have shock value of the svanir being a new development compaired to the suddeness of mordrem) The literal progression of how the pact is dealing with this is quite something because theyve learned they did some bad stuff and cant do it again. For once tyria is learning how to deal with this in a way that isnt just seperating or destroying but standing stronger together which is quite literally the story of guild wars 2- that fighting racism to stand together stronger and better. (Rytlocks entire issues rigt now is a hole left from a ephinany he had when aurene died and he realized how toxic bangars teachings of "acceptable losses" of friends and family, ephiphany about loyalty, and the fact that with kralk on the loose and aurene dead theres no hope hes never going to see his cub(s) again or even see them grow up and jormags abusing that really hard in his mind. I think a topic thats being propped up now that tyria has started to learn how to deal with this stuff is learning you can still get through to people like hopefully ryland, etc that even if their past pain, previous bigoted teachings, and more has them more radicalized or weary of others hurting them even more can be changed and that theres some people like bangar who cant be reasoned with. Theres plenty of people who were shitty 10 years ago and now know that those actions and reasons were bad and that they have changed and shown that change. )
Just... i do also feel bad that the sylvari were that first step to the development we see now within the minds of tyria and i think the reasson there isnt so much bitterness in the icebrood saga from the sylvari is that they are just happy tyria is learning to deal with this a lot differently than they did with them and that they know a dragons call is hard and they still arent immune to jormag even with experience.
this shit is an essay. you gave me a whole essay for one post
one sec lemme just
BRO these are all points just in gw2! think about how weird it is for me to see the charr like this. i grew up with them being war criminals. they had labor camps and even threw fun little get togethers to watch a devourer gut little kids (canon) and now theyre just... militarized cats? fuckin WEIRD
I love this post!
So I felt Like I needed to revisit this, because I started writing an essay a post and I felt like these thoughts were inspired by a post I read before and I realized it was this thread.
So here are some further things/thoughts/ musings on icebrood if anyone cares:
Ok, so I normally play Sylvari.
But recently I’ve been playing my Norn and I went back to the Icebrood saga to see how the dialogue differs for norn. And it got me thinking.
On the hunt for Jhavi/Almorra, it takes them so long to figure out that it’s Jormag Whispering.. and I got to thinking: would it have taken a slyvari this long? They know what it’s like to have a dragon in their head
I think maybe yes and no.
Jormag is more seductive. Jormag can whisper to all races, though it seems (via dialgue) that their Whisper is more persuasive to Norn males.
I think, at first, Sylvari Commander knows something is strange, but can’t put their finger on it, because Jormag is so smooth, so calm… they slip in and trip to convince you it’s YOU thinking these thoughts.
Mordremoth never did that. Mordremoth’s voice was coarse like sandpaper trying to wear you down, roaring in your ear like a drill sergeant. You were a sylvari, therefore you belonged to him. You obey.
Jormag doesn’t do that… Jormag likes wrapping their plansinto the illusion of freewill.
But once the [sylvari] Commander does realize, they are like OH. I GOT this.
And they do.
It’s not easy. It’s not pleasant. But they have done this before with far more pain. And even if Jormag is a smooth talker - trying to make the commander doubt everything - the commander is already a pro at conquering self-doubt. The egg or the pact? Saving the Pact or Destiny’s Edge? Fighting Mordremoth or looking for Trahearne? Kill your lover best friend or let the Jungle Dragon survive?
I also think the norn and other non-sylvari get so frustrated at times when the Commander is so freaking CALM about it all, too.
“But the male norn can’t be trusted! Jormag turned the male norn at Jora’s keep on us and slit everyone’s throat!” They cry.
“I trust them,” The Commander says without blinking. “And I trust you to help them stay strong against Jormag.”
“But-” They protested, outraged at how naïve they think the Commander is being.
“If my people could do it - if I could do it - in the Maguuma, then the norn can do it against Jormag. I won’t turn on the norn like everyone else turned on my people.”
Everyone is like OH SHIT. yeah... we might have done this before. and it was bad.
And finally, FINALLY, the Commander can help stymie and stop the prejudice. They couldn’t do it in the Maguuma - not effectively. Just barely they helped stop Pact soldiers from slaughtering innocent sylvari. But the bitter resentment, the lack of inclusion, the harassing, the bullying - they couldn’t stop it in the Maguuma, because THEY were sylvari too. Why listen to that ‘sylvari’ Commander?
But now - against Jormag - their word means more. They aren’t a norn...not as “easily persuaded”, so the others listen. And the Commander is determined to make sure the Pact, the Orders -everyone! - behave better than they did to the sylvari in the Maguuma. And hopefully other PAct and Tyrians learned that lesson themselves in the Maguuma and help the commander carry the lesson against Jormag.
Also, random, kinda related musing.
In the Prologue of Icebrood Saga, when the Commander, Rytlock, and Crecia are trying to talk to Bangar about all of the unrest and bigotry happening, I thought about how a Sylvari Commander might react.
The Original Dialogue is something like:
Bangar: Separatists/ humans uses to hunt us like dogs, wear our skin as furs and horns on their helmets
Commander: That was a long time ago
But I feel a Sylvari Commander would have told him something like
“And Asura experiments on my people less than 20 years ago! Took us apart limb by limb. Poked holes in Malomedies and dumped him back at the feet of our Mother when they tired of her. But I don’t blame Tiami for that. I don’t egg on the BREAKING A FREAKING PEACE TREATY when they haven’t done anything themselves to break it!”
.... and those are my random thoughts that I just felt like writing. Thanks for coming to my ted talk.
DO IT NOW: Guide to Proper Bra Fit and Measuring because Victoria Secret and La Senza and whatever are full of shit and you are definitely wearing the wrong size ok? ok
Hi guys I’m obsessed with this shit lately because I don’t want anyone to have unhappy, unsupported boobs like I did. Even if you think your boobs and bras are fine, try it. It will make a big difference in comfort, support, and shape, even if you have small boobs or big boobs. A proper fitting bra can fix back, shoulder, and neck pain, along with breast soreness - and it can help you look 10lbs lighter, and your breasts a hell of a lot perkier. This guide also works for proper-sized bikinis and bathing suits (many online stores linked to below sell both- sometimes for as low as 10$!)
Don’t just like this, REBLOG IT. EVERYBODY WITH BOOBS DESERVES A PROPER FIT. Even if you don’t wear bras yourself, spread it around to tumblr or with your friends or family.
Grab a soft tape measurer (use inches) and get nekkid - don’t wear a bra or shirt please, you don’t wear a bra or shirt underneath your bra, do you? This part is fast and easy, and will help you find your ‘Starting Point’ bra size - you may not end up in this exact size, but it will get you in the right ballpark.
How to Measure:
Measure your underbust - go right underneath the root of your breasts, but make sure the tape is straight/parallel to the floor. Take a firm, snug measurement - if you have chub, take it tighter.
Measure your bust bent over - bend forward so your back is parallel to the floor and your boobs are hanging so you have access to all that beautiful breast tissue that is now brought forward. Measure very loosely around the nipples, keeping tape straight/horizontal/perpendicular to the floor.
If your breasts are kind of empty and/or have a lot of sag, this method may overestimate your cup size. Instead, take your bust measurement bent over, standing, and lying flat on your back, and take an average of those three measurements and use that for your calculations.
How to Use These Measurements to find your ‘Starting Size’:
Round up your underbust measurement to the nearest even number. If you are only half an inch or less away from being a lower size, use that instead (unless you have a bony ribcage). This is automatically your band size. No BS. There is no adding imaginary inches here.
The difference between your underbust measurement and your bust measurement dictates your cup size. Every 1 inch in difference represents a cup size, so 1 inch = A, 2 = B, 3 = C, 4 = D. As you can see here, a true D or DD cup is actually pretty fucking small.
CUP SIZES ARE NOT STANDARD, UNLIKE COMMONLY THOUGHT (AND TOLD TO US BY ASSHOLES LIKE VS). They are TOTALLY relative to band size. The cup on a 30D has 4 inches less volume than the cup on a 34D. A 30D is actually the same cup size as a 34B!
No one has their shit together on the lettering for each cup size, so here’s a handy dandy chart. Remember to go with UK measurement as they somewhat have their shit together (and because American companies do not make much above DD, so there’s literally no point in knowing it, but the European sizing may come in handy)
I DON’T CARE IF YOU LIVE IN THE USA, DO NOT USE THE AMERICAN MEASUREMENTS, FFS. YOU’LL ONLY MAKE THINGS HARDER AND MORE CONFUSING FOR YOURSELF. ANY BOUTIQUE IN NORTH AMERICA WORTH GOING TO, AND 99% OF ONLINE STORES, IS GOING TO SELL PRIMARILY BRITISH OR EUROPEAN BRANDS AND WILL GO BY THEIR SIZING. THERE IS LITERALLY NO POINT IN KNOWING AMERICAN SIZING
DO NOT USE AMERICAN SIZING
DO NOT USE AMERICAN FUCKING SIZING
EVEN IF YOU ARE AMERICAN
AND LIVE IN THE US
USE THE BRITISH SIZING
For example, I have a 29.5 inch underbust and a 38 inch bust when bent over. So, I should take a 30 band and then there’s an 8 inch difference. So I am a 30FF in UK sizing. This is just my starting point when looking for bras, and I may not always end up with this exact size
Do not pull the ‘omg no I’m not a G cup my boobs aren’t that big you’re more stupid that the idea of vegetable bread’ shit with me ok? You drank the Kool-Aid and now you need to piss it out. CUP SIZES ARE NOT STANDARD. A 34D IS BIGGER IN THE CUPS THAN A 30E. Here, take a look at a chart of cup volumes and see what I mean.
Also… not all ‘big cup’ bras are ugly and granny-like. Just check out brands like Freya or Gossard or Gorteks or Panache or Cleo! They are gorgeous!
Trying it on: What a proper fit is like
ALWAYS SCOOP AND SWOOP BEFORE ASSESSING WHETHER IT FITS OR NOT. What does this mean? This means bend over, hike up your bra so that it sits right under the root of your breasts. Then, start smooshing all your back fat and armpit rolls or any loose tissue thats underneath or to the side of the cup, INTO the cup. All that stuff is breast tissue that got pushed around from your shitty bras, no I am not bullshitting - after a few months of wearing better bras, many people end up having to get a bigger cup and sometimes even a smaller band too, as all the smooshed breast tissue migrates back to the boob, where it should be. Not kidding. So get everything in there and make sure the wire is positioned perfectly under your boobs. Then stand up and assess the fit. If it seemed to fit before scooping, it won’t fit now.
THIS IS JUST A STARTING POINT. Try on your starting size and work from there. You may need to go up or down a band size, or up or down many cup sizes. Not all brands or even models in that brand are made the same way, and the shape of your boobs also helps determine the size and fit, so don’t try on JUST the size you calculated, say “it doesn’t fit”, and then give up and go back to your 36Cs. You aren’t doing yourself any favours. If you don’t feel comfortable in your ‘starting point size’, go ahead and try a size up or down in bands and/or a size or two or even three up or down in cups as needed.
ALWAYS start on the loosest hook. If you need to start on the tightest hook, go down a band size. The point of hooks is simple - as your bra gets used, it gradually loses its elasticity and gets loose. So, you use your hooks to bring it in, and when you reach the last hook, well, be prepared to get rid of your bra in a few months (unless you invest in a band tightener like the Rixie Clip)
A proper fit means the bra band is straight and parallel to the floor. If it isn’t, and seems to be getting pulled up, its too big and isn’t supporting you. Get a smaller band. You shouldn’t be able to stretch it more than a couple inches off your back. It may feel tight at first, but bras do need ‘breaking in’ and you are used to wearing things that do not fit correctly, so give it a chance. Of course, it should not hurt either!
A proper fit means your bra straps are not digging in.
A proper fit means the gore (the little centerpiece of the bra where the wires sort of meet) MUST tack/sit firmly against your chest. If it doesn’t, then the wires are not truly fully underneath your boobs and so are not giving you the proper support.
A proper fit means your boobs must fit smoothly into the entire cup (after scooping and swooping). The wire should totally encase all your breast tissue (this includes armpit fat and stuff). There should be no empty space at the bottom or top of the cup. Your boobs should not be overflowing from the top of the cup. If there’s overflowing or uncontained tissue after scooping, or of it feels tight, get a bigger cup.
A proper fit means you should be able to lift your arms over your head and jump around without the band or underwire budging or exposing underboob.
Size Tweaks/Troubleshooting (make sure you scoop and swoop first):
The band feels tight: Is the gore tacking or not? If not, go up a cup size or two (or maybe even three or four). Even if the gore is tacking, try this first. The band may be tight because the cups are too small, so your boobs are stretching the band out too much to overcompensate for lack of cup depth, making it feel tighter. If after trying larger cups, it still feels uncomfortably tight, go up a band size (and down a cup size if the first size fit well in the cups - remember, cup is relative to band, a 32DD is the same in the cups as a 34D). Remember though that it takes a few days to break a bra in, so it may feel tight or perfect at first, and then comfortable or too loose later.
The band feels loose/band is riding up and not remaining parallel to the floor: Go down a band size (and up a cup size or two because blablah relativity).
The gore is not tacking, but band is not tight: Band size is too big, or maybe fits just right - but the cups are too small. You know what to do.
Boobs spilling over: Go up a cup size. Check first though that the bottom of the cup is not empty, and hike it up if it is!
Empty space at bottom of cup: Hike that shit up so it gets right to the roots of your breasts. This may fix bulging/spillage. If you can’t get it higher, then you need a smaller cup or this make of bra is just not suited to your shape.
Empty space at top of cup: You need a smaller cup, or this shape of bra just does not suit you your breasts, especially if your breasts are not very full on top. Or you need to scoop and swoop!
Straps digging in: Loosen them. If your boobs suddenly sag, then the band is not supportive enough, and you need a tighter band.
Armpit rolls: Bigger cup and/or scoop and swoop that shit. The cut of bra may also just not be for you (for now anyway - your armpit rolls may migrate back into the boobs and disappear eventually!)
They don’t even make my size!!: If you’re in a 28-48 D-KK (UK sizing) cup, you will find your size online easily enough. however, if you have a smaller band than that or need smaller cups, they are hard to find - message me and I’ll try to help you with a solution!
So, for example, my starting size may be 30FF, but I may end up wearing a 28G or H if the band of that model is too loose and the gore not tacking. Or the band may be fine and I may need a bigger cup so I’ll get a 30G. Or The band may be good but the cups too big, so I’ll get a 30F or E. Or the band may be too small to be comfortable and I’ll wear a 32F or E (same cupsize-ish as 30FF!).
What Not to Do:
NEVER PUT YOUR BRA IN THE DRYER. AND PREFERABLY, WASH IT BY HAND. The heat and twisting ruins the elasticity of the bra and reduces its life! This is the best way to ruin bras, don’t do it.
Do not add 3 or 4 or 5 inches or whatever to your band measurement. That is BS that American companies use so that they don’t have to manufacture a larger range of sizes - they use it to fit you into their stock, not their stock onto you. The band will be too big and unsupportive. Those 4 inches they add to the band are 4 inches that should be in the cup size, so no wonder people think anything over DD should be huge.
Do not measure your ‘overbust’ cause really what the fuck does that have to do with how large you are underneath your boobs, come on
Do not do the above because 80% of the support comes from the band, which needs to be firm against you and not be sliding or moving around.Would you wear underwear 4 inches bigger than your hips? No, so why would you wear a bra band 4 inches bigger than your ribcage that gets pulled up and stuff and would fall off if not for the straps, while expecting it to support the boobies at the same time?
Do not go down a band size and then forget to go up a cup size or two. Again, cup sizes are not static. A 30FF is the same cup volume as a 32F or E. If you don’t do this, no shit the bra will fit badly or feel tight.
Do not go straight to Victoria’s Secret or La Senza or whatever, even if you are lucky enough to fit in their small range of sizes - they don’t seem to follow sizing very well. Still, try, by all means, but be aware that their bras may be odd compared to others.
"But where do I get these Bras? I’ve never even seen these sizes!“
Luckily, the internet makes this shit really easy. Buying bras online is nearly always way cheaper, even with shipping, and even if coming from somewhere in Europe! But of course, its best to try on stuff first, to avoid the hassle of return shipping (even though its still not that expensive - just annoying). So what I advise is to find a store near you, try stuff on there, note down the Brand, Model, and Size, and then buy it online for up to a quarter of of the in-store price.
If you can’t find a store near you, online ordering is still extremely cheap, even with return shipping. Instead of getting a whole bunch of bras in only 1 size each, pick out a few models and order a few sizes of each. Ex: one with a bigger or smaller band if your measurements are close to needing a bigger or smaller band size, and then some up or down a couple cup sizes so you can compare the fit. When you have the perfect fit in one bra, it will be easier to go on Bratabase or r/ABraThatFits and have them suggest bras that give similar shape or suggest a different size to you as a model you’re interested in may run large or small.
So, Where to Find:
Note: You can find proper-sized bras as low as 10$ US online (particularly from ebay or brastop.com) and most average 30-45$.
List of Online Retailers from BustyResourcesWiki: A complete list of online retailers around da world. Many ship internationally so take a look at all of them (particularly the UK ones)
Ebay, Etsy, and Amazon all have bras inexpensively.
List of Offline Retailers from BustyResourcesWiki: List of chain-stores (not of privately owned stores)
If in Canada, look for a Change Lingerie near you to try on bras. Note that they only carry their own brand.
If in the USA, look for a Nordstrom or Nordstrom Rack near you to try on bras. They carry all sorts of brands and have an online store as well (and also ship to Canada!)
Use a store locator from the webpage of a bra brand company to find non-chain, privately owned stores - if they have one of these brands, they’ll have others. Here’s the locator for Freya, Curvy Kate, Fantasie, Chantelle, Panache, and Affinitas. There are more than just these of course.
If you are small in the band AND in the cup (under a D cup) look at the Little Bra Company.
Ask around on Bratabase or r/ABraThatFits for stores near you.
WOMAN, YOU HAVE THE INTERNET! GOOGLE! YELP!
WARNING: There are many chain stores (Nordstrom, Lane Bryant, Mark and Spencer, Change etc) that do bra fittings and have a good reputation. However, each store is different - some measure correctly, and some use the stupid VS method. Every store has a different team of employees and knowledge. DO NOT GO IN WITHOUT HAVING MEASURED YOURSELF FIRST, JUST IN CASE THEY ARE ONE OF THE BAD STORES. DO NOT TRUST ALL BRA FITTERS, EVEN IF SOMEONE RECOMMENDED THEM TO YOU. If your fitter gives you a measurement different from this one, be mentally prepared to have a difficult time getting them to help you find the right bra.
I had the fitter at Change help me, and when I mentioned that the gore did not tack, she said “Oh, the gore never touches the chest with these bras”. I was like HAHA NOPE BRING ME A LARGER CUP WOMAN. And lo and behold, 2 extra cup sizes later, the gore tacked (and my boobs stopped spilling out). She was very nice otherwise but if I hadn’t known better that could have been bad.
Resources:
r/ABraThatFits: forum for bras, they will help you with sizing, fitting, and finding the right model for your breast shape - they have links to a lot of resources, such as online stores, used bra listings, etc.
Busty Resources Wiki: Great resource for fitting tips, diagrams, explanations, styles.
Bra Band Project: an online gallery of what various sizes look like! Dump your disbelief!
List of Online Retailers: Online is MUCH cheaper and shipping is usually cheap too, even from Europe. Try bras in a store near you , pick out what you like, and order them online instead.
Bratabase: Database of bras, with user inputted measurements of each bra model in its size - bras may be marked the same size, but with this you can see which may have bigger or smaller bands or cups, or what style may suit what shape of breast, all of which helps find the perfect fit for you!
Great Youtube Video on Bra Fitting: This is one of the few people on Youtube who knows their shit about bras. Great for the visuals to help you understand what a bad fit and proper fit look like.
Venusian Glow is a great bra blog - SO MUCH INFO. Suggests bras based on your boob shape amongst other things.
Saving for later because I’ve recently discovered that how we measure boobs is a lie and it’s all relative and what are we even doing calling it a “cup” like it’s an accurate measure of volume like in baking but NO we ruin everything.
Y'all this is damn good info.
Honestly, if you get measured in a store, I highly recommend a lingerie boutique and nowhere else. I’m fortunate to have a store called Bra Genie by me. They measure in UK sizes and WOW what a difference. Everything I tried fit perfectly.
They also sell this to wash your lingerie in. I love it. One bottle lasts me awhile. Depending on how much you wash, you really only need a cap full.
Chantelle (check out the Passionata bra line. It’s my favorite. I hate taking them off) is absolutely amazing so is Panache. Here’s two more!
On Gossamer, and Skarlettblue
Art by Hector aka shitty watercolor
😭😭😭😭
Tumblr: #this fucking donut #can we talk about this fucking donut for a minute #can we #because on this donut #the sprinkles just comfortably melt into the icing #you can tell that they are so perfectly in tune with each other #and they’ve come so far from when the sprinkles just sort of sat on top #barely touching for fear of rejection #just ugh I can’t #otp: comfortably melting
4chan: here’s a picture of someone putting their dick in a donut.
reddit: that donut needs to go back into the kitchen and make me a sandwich.
academia.edu: Here is a pdf of the seminar paper I wrote about the erotics/poetics/semiotics/science of donut eating.
deviantArt:I did not steal this donut. I traced it so now it’s mine.
It got better
Fanfic.net: The donut is the setting for a high school AU, were two sprinkles meet and realise they have more in common than they ever thought possible, however, the mean chocolate sauce has caught wind of their secret relationship. Will they be able to make it together before it’s too late? M for a lemon flavoured donut.
This has officially become one of my favorite posts.
I JUST REBLOGGED BUT FANFIC MADE IT PERFECT
Ladies and gentlemen, I present you with: The Internet.
archiveofourown.org: Graphic Depictions of Gluten, doughut/sprinkles, doughnut/glaze, doughnut/sprinkles/glaze, doughnut - character, sprinkles - character, glaze - character, dsg threesome, first time, morning doughnuts, AU - doughnutverse, omg i don’t even know, knotting
#THE KNOTTING AT THE END OF THE AO3 IS THE MOST ACCURATE THING IVE SEEN IN MY LIFE
This is so good 😂😂❤️