Feb 22, 2022
#and i sincerely apologize to him for it#i hope he's healing right now#even tho i've had this angry feeling towards him all this time#nothing would make me happier than knowing he's doing well and getting his life together#i hope he'll want to text me one day and we can talk about it#something that scares me tho is that he'll forget about me#that i'll just become a distant blur in his memory#i know it's probably inevitable but it's a scary thought#so as you can see he still occupies my mind a lot#other than that i just go to work and come back home#i have no friends#i don't talk to anyone#im just always alone#and im afraid that's how i'll die#suicide thoughts is still something that resurfaces my mind from time to time but i've been trying to view them as just that#just thoughts#i have been clean from sh for a while too i think#i still scratch myself sometimes and have to try hard not to hit my head but i think i've been doing better#i just feel empty and lonely#i haven't felt genuinely happy in a long time#the only excitement i get is from watching euphoria on mondays and that's it lol#pathetic yet again#22/02 this is jo logging out
