온달

A blog dedicated to mental exhaustion recovery | ‘00 | ENFP | 중앙대학교 | Wanna be plant mom

[mjalti]

don’t allow ur insecurities to create ur reality. no one is “too good” for you. Nothing is “too far” and everything you imagined yourself doing as a child is within reach. that’s the secret difference between your adult self and your child self; your child self doesn’t allow insecurities to dictate their day. everything can happen for you if you work for it. anyone can be yours if you allow your true love to shine from your heart. The world is here for the experiencing.

[burnout-recovery]

Day 2 | What am I doing?

Today I had problems with my overall mood. At home everything is fine. Because it’s safe. I’m alone and I don’t need to explain anything to anyone. I can’t breathe a lot of the time for some reason. I feel as if something is pressing down on my chest and all I can see is hopelessness. I’m not gonna get personal but I know what this is triggered by.

I have a goal. I always did. However I do not know how to get to it. All of my life people told me ‘whoa you’re really lucky Moon, you know exactly what you want from life. I don’t know what I wanna do yet :(.’ And you know what I felt lucky for a while. It is now that I know I’m not that lucky. Because I’m at Point A and I don’t even know which road to get to get to point B. I’m just lost. I know I want to achieve point B but I do not know if I’m on the right track. I felt as if I was on the right track but I was forced off it by life events. Now this new road I’m walking by something I never thought I would be pursuing. And I do not want to pursue this road but there is no other way. Sometimes I want to just stop and cry in the middle of the road. I’m realizing the best choice I have is to continue and look out for other ways to reach point B while progressing. Because another opportunity isn’t just going to appear out of nowehere as I’m standing. It just sometimes gets hard.

Ps. Believe it or not I took this photo today. This toy was just left there by someone. And I felt as if it represented how I felt.

[goodhealthgoodwealth]

😍😍😍😍

[burnout-recovery]

Agenda

Keeping an agenda helps me feel achieved throughout the day. It has helped me with my detachment issues before and it is coming handy right now as well. I do not know if this works for everyone but it helps me. Writing of small things and then wiping them off. It makes me feel like I have some control over what’s happening in life even thought I know I don’t. It still is calming and comforting.

[burnout-recovery]

Day 1

Nutrition is very important when it comes to mental exhaustion recovery. I’ve been doing this thing for months now in which I skip breakfast and eat a gigantic lunch, eat nothing for dinner and then binge eat all night. As you can guess this caused me to gain a few pounds. Which does not help with the anxiety episodes m.e. Comes with.

So I thought a good start would be to eat something for the morning and calculate my calories. Not a major diet as that would also be mentally draining but more like a healthy eating schedule.

I had 3 eggs, some feta, half a grapefruit and half a pear with honey drizzle. The whole thing comes up to 405 kcal. I did not count the tea as I ended up not being able to drink it cause of the fact that I was in a hurry.

[simpleisnewluxury]

[gay-irl]

gay🦜irl

[letyourselfliveagain]

[burnout-recovery]

Why?

Recently I realized that I have been not myself. I’m dissociating a lot, crying, isolating myself, feeling hopeless, having difficulty sleeping and then spending whole days at home, taking unnecessary sick days, having anxious episodes... etc. At first I thought this was what depression was like. However, after consultation I was told that this was mental exhaustion. Commonly known as Burnout Syndrome. I’ve been under non-stop stress ever since September 2018, and it really hit me this year.

But the thing is, I’m sick of feeling like this. I know the change won’t be immediate but I do want to get better. And I thought making it a blog would help me keep my motivation as recently I’ve been struggling with that too.

I know this is not a major mental issue but this has been affecting my life for the worst for a while now. I just want to get my control back.

Wish me luck x

[hopesmoodboards]

🌻🌻🌻

[burnout-recovery]

Hong Kong

I’m befuddled at the reactions from people about the Hong Kong Situation that’s going on. Apperantly it’s suddenly okay to not react to police attacking students with tear gas and rubber bullets for ‘inappropriate behavior.’ Is this a joke? This attack happened on m u l t i p l e universities. Not even one. I have a friend studying in City University of Hong Kong and I haven’t been able to reach her for days. There are several injured people and it’s f i n e? Apperantly even the dean of the university pleaded to the police to stop attacking, they agreed on retreat. When they did not, the dean walked up to them to talk, what did he face?? Attack by the police force. There is a picture of the dean being carried away by the students. A student d i e d cause of this on 8th of November.

But we forget easily. Now if you look up the hashtag Hong Kong the only thing you can find are meaningless selfies foreigners. I told my mom about the situation and she told me ‘my university was attacked when I was young, it happens a lot in Turkey, who cares if it also happened in Hong Kong when nobody cares about us?’ I get that Hong Kong is a more commercial topic but it doesn’t change the weight of the situation. If we do not care about this event then how can we hope that people will care about us when it happens to us?

They dissentisized us enough from attacks like this. It’s not a c c e p t a b l e to have police attacking the citizens. The police that they are supposed to trust. Then you ask why the public starts riots against you. This is the very reason why.

I just hate the fact that this situation is already forgotten and there is nothing you can do unless you start caring.

[burnout-recovery]

Weather complaint

So. I recently returned to my home country and spending the autumn here this year reminded me of one minor complaint I had while living here full time...

it’s EFFIN November and the weather doesn’t get colder than 21 degrees.

You don’t understand how horrible this is for me. I’m a fall person ( and a Virgo). I love rainy weather and c o l d breeze. HERE I THANK GOD IF I GET TO WEAR A JACKET.

I miss UK so badly cause of this. Most people glare at me when I say this but I miss UK’s gloomy weather. It kept me motivated and active, here I feel like I’m a constant potato.

Are you guys like me or do you think I’m a weirdo for hating on sunny weather?

[ghostresidues]

the dark academia community: what if we read the odyssey and made out,,, haha just kidding,,, unless ?

[burnout-recovery]

Modern academia

Thought this would be fitting as I’m studying 17th Century Venitian music

[burnout-recovery]

CREAMY VEGAN MUSHROOM PASTA

This is my favorite meal for a rainy / sick day. As it is very comforting. This is creamy vegan mushroom pasta and here’s how you do it.

Ingredients

5-6 Small mushroom of your choice.

1/2 onion

3 garlic

1/2 bell pepper

1-2 cups of unsweetened Soy Milk

4 tbsps of nutritional yeast

Whole-wheat pasta of your choice (make sure it’s vegan)

1-2 tbsps of white flour ( depends on how’s the sauce looking, if it’s too runny, add the second one )

Salt and pepper to taste but also add oregano.

How you make it:

1) sauté the diced mushrooms, onion and garlic on low heat with a Tbsp of olive oil. Add a pinch of salt as you’re doing this. Make sure your pasta is also boiling in the background.

2) dice your bellpepper and add in to the mushroom mixture.

3)Once everything is dehydrated and cooked, add the flour. Make sure it’s cooked out.

4) add the soy milk, it will look runny but give it a few minutes.

5) once the mixture looks thick enough, add nutritional yeast.

6) finish it up by addin your pasta and mixing it really well together.

And Voila! Just serve up and eat on a cold day.

[the-devil-wears-zara]

[burnout-recovery]

I was so mad when Hollywood tried to recreate a classic like Old Boy (dir. Park Chan Wook / 2003) and do it with cheap shortcuts. They disregarded everything about the movie, however that made the original only more iconic. The color contrast of the scenes were incredible, they went from using heavily green contrasted scenes to cold red inspired scenes only to represent the resolution of the movie. I could honestly geek out about this movie for forever.

If you haven’t watched it, I heavily recommend that you do.