warnings: slightly toxic!shauna, drinking, afab!reader, some suggestiveness
a/n: i felt bad for how long im taking to finish an actual fic so i decided i'd repay you guys with some quick headcanons for fratboy shauna. enjoy !!
fratboy!shauna who wears her own DIY cropped t-shirts in order to tease you when she stretches. you could be studying for an exam in the library, with her reading a book (that wasn't assigned, but she'll lie and say it was) across the wooden table, and lean back in her chair to crack her back and stretch her arms because she's noticed your stare when she gets out of the shower after hooking up. she's observant. you both love and hate it, because not only does she just strech but she lifts her hips up slightly to fix her sweatpants and then cockily smirks while sticking her nose back into her 'homework'.
fratboy!shauna who brings you to a party once and has to stop herself from throwing a punch at one of her (now ex) friends after he hit on you. you could tell how pissed she was by the way she gripped the red cup in her hand and the deadly stare she threw his way.
fratboy!shauna who desperately tried to get into your pants that night once she dropped you off at your dorm, holding the door open with her hand stretched out and head poked through the gap between the wood and its rectangular frame. it was only after you reached in for a kiss that she released the door and softened, to which you used as leverage to slam the door back in her face. you felt bad for it, she was being sweet and was obviously driven by insecure jealousy, but you didn't open the door back to say something. you did apologize the next day though.
fratboy!shauna who buys you chocolate and makes a care package when you're on your period (only after she makes a cocky remark that is usually the words of 'it's that time of the month, huh?'). she does a good job at it though, so you hold yourself back from throwing a pillow at her from across the bed.
fratboy!shauna who does not care about protection in the slightest. she'll lie and say she forgot a condom and will pull out as long as you finish the job. one time she even went as far to say she was on birth control to try and persuade you to let her fuck you. you laughed in her face and shoved her off the side of the bed.
fratboy!shauna who brings you along to the beach during summer break only to see you in a bikini and watch the water drip from your tanned body. she buys you an ice cream cone and stares as you take slow almost seductive licks from the vanilla ice cream. she lands a few slaps to your ass to make up from your 'teasing', or whatever she thinks you're doing. (she's absolutely correct)
fratboy!shauna who's a total nerd when actually focusing on her work. yeah she can be a moron while hanging out with her friends, but she never prioritizes a party before her grades.
fratboy!shauna who invited jackie over to meet all her fraternity friends and ends up walking in on you and jackie hooking up in your dorm. to be completely honest, you only did it to make her jealous, but god was jackie good and you made it pretty obvious to shauna by saying she was better in bed and you'd totally do it again all while feigning obliviousness as she zoned out. were you lying about jackie being better in bed than her? yes. was her reaction hysterical? also yes.
fratboy!shauna who'd shown up once to a date drunk after a frat party she went to earlier that night. no doubt you were furious and made her make it up to you by buying you a well over-budget dessert at a fancy restaurant.
fratboy!shauna who acts like you don't exist when you pass her on campus. you giggle and laugh with your friends about her in your free time, but those fleeting moments when you lock eyes on campus make you rethink that. what if she genuinely is just using you for a release? you'll learn thats not true a few months later when she asks you to a date (not the one she got drunk before, thank you very much) with flowers and her hair slicked back that she tells you weeks into the relationship that she secretly hated. she only did it because you said she looked hot with her hair pushed all the way back when she was fresh out of the shower, so she gelled it as she prepared to ask the question in front of your dimly lit dorm room.
fratboy!shauna showed her shy side when you brought her to dinner to meet your parents. she was nervous on the drive there and was terrified walking into the restaurant doors but quickly relaxed as your parents told her your embarrassing stories from when you were younger, she even took part in teasing you with them. you were both annoyed and relieved and you were glad shauna made a great first impression.
fratboy!shauna who only texted you at the beginning of your relationship in order to hook up. it could've be 2 am on a wednesday and she'd wake you up with her incessant calls and texts as if she were your personal alarm clock begging for you to show up at her dorm. you said no every time but this didn't stop her, she would soon learn to just show up abruptly whenever she needed a quickie.
fratboy!shauna who got accepted into being one of Brown's newspaper editors. she was ecstatic at first and ranted to you about how excited whe was. you wish she got like that more often, it was adorable. sometimes you purposefully bring up subjects that make her ramble like she did with the newspaper (making states, what she wants to do after graduation, (which, mind you, she has her entire future planned out vividly. she really is a soft dork when you get to know her) weezer, etc.).
fratboy!shauna who does still keep a journal. she doesn't use it as much as she used to in high school because she has a lot of work to focus on, but whenever she has time she makes sure to write in it, either about you or how tiring college is.
fratboy!shauna who loves horror films. she loves them not only because she likes the suspense, but also your reactions when she watches them with you. you'd be pressed up with your back against her as you lay facing the T.V., her arms around your neck as your head rests on her upper stomach. she would tease you about how easily scared you get, but once you attempt to bite back about how you could very obviously feel her flinch at a jump scare she's covering your mouth before you can even get the words out, telling you she didn't wash her hands to prevent you from licking it to get her to uncover it.
fratboy!shauna who DID try out for soccer but rarely ever shows up because a.) she's busy with you, or b.) she just genuinely doesn't care enough to go. i don't even think she checked to see if she made the team, i think she just wanted an excuse to play one last time without being obligated to play for games
no one really speaks about shauna and the reason shes dating melissa besides the fact she wants power (and also because she cant have jackie anymore) but like. i think another very big reason is that she sees herself in melissa. like melissa is a follower, a sheep, a lapdog maybe, and after we learn that shauna was really following in jackies footsteps in season one, its easy to see that melissa is a very good depiction of shauna before the crash.
i think shauna is trying to take melissa's impressionability and manipulate that into how she wants herself to be. she's taking out her anger from her actions in season one out on someone else, almost as a way to 'punish' herself, even if she's not the one necessarily getting punished.
i dont think we talk enough about the fact the girls had to get back on a plane to be rescued and brought back home. they had to be put back on the exact thing that caused them to WANT to stay away from home. they had to relive the trauma before they even landed.
lottie was probably terrified not only to get on the plane but to also go back home in general.
shauna was terrified because it would mean leaving her baby behind along with leaving the place she lost her best friend.
travis had to leave his father and brother.
like this was glossed over i think we should talk about it more
A prophet once said, it’s yellowing-absolute-jacket. And yeah I’ve had Fire Dance by Joseph Tomanek in my yellowjackets inspo folder for so long - and post s3 I’ve finally done it.
I hope ppl see the vision and someone zooms in to see the ill fated S3 visitors, and manifesting a S4 announcement soon
sorry for not being active on here for a while :( i have school and im busy with sports and other things so i havent been able to write a lot recently. but i didnt forget about this account so dont worry, ill still try to write as often as i can !
i might be delusional but i genuinely believe we're gonna get a travis adult storyline in either season 4 or season 5 (i personally believe its most likely to happen in season 5).
like i get his death was used as a way to lead up to adult lotties introduction, but like.. theres gotta be a bigger reason/plot. not to mention we got absolutely no context as to how lottie and travis got back in contact, like genuinely we need a travis storyline and ill die on this hill
season 5 is more reasonable in my opinion because we started with travis' death, and it could make sense to end with a plot that relates to him as well. especially delving into nat and his relationship as adults
summary: just precrash shauna x reader. what else is needed
genre: fluff
wc: 1.2k
warnings: none really
a/n: pretty lengthy but i had a lot of fun making this, i cant not indulge in a good precrash shauna fic. i think its super cute writing for precrash yellowjackets since we dont get much info about them before the crash, it gives me more freedom to make her out to what i want. but anyway! this is pretty much how i think she is romantically before the crash.
precrash!shauna who'd make excuses to jackie to miss practice just to hang out with you. jackies never happy about it but she knows shauna doesn't ask for her approval and only 'asks' to let jackie know where she is, and it'll always be with you.
precrash!shauna who keeps a specific journal about you. she has filled a full journal up already, majority of it being her talking about you, so she decided on purchasing and dedicating one to you. you still dont know about it and she doesnt plan on letting you find out.
precrash!shauna who prefers to stay home and listen to music with you as a date. she's always been introverted, and after several days of soccer practice/games a week she needs a break, and whats better than spending it with you?
precrash!shauna whod discreetly sneak her hand onto your thigh as you watch a movie in the livingroom. youd both have a blanket wrapped around each other, already keeping close, but not close enough for her. she hasn't told her parents about you yet, so she secretly slides her hand on your upper thigh, rubbing it gently with her thumb as she continues to watch the movie in front of you intently.
precrash!shauna whod run up to you immediately after winning a game. shes competitive and agressive as she plays soccer, but that whole facade fades as you embrace her and painfully avoid kissing her in front of everyone. you resort to squeezing her three times, an action that you both have adapted into your own way of saying 'i love you'. she does it back immediately after.
precrash!shauna who steals your hoodies and hides them in her closet when you come over. it takes you a while to even realize they went missing, but once you do you immediately confront shauna about it. shes always acting innocent and clueless when you call her out, but shes horrible at lying and you can see right through her.
precrash!shauna who is unusually good at math. shes been taking all AP math courses since sophomore year, and you, being horrible at math, are always coming to her for help. you wont ever tell her if you understand a course. you always want her to help you anyway, mostly so you can steal innocent glances at her concentrated face. she caught onto this a while ago, but she wont tell you that.
precrash!shauna who insists on taking you on dates even on the most random days. her favorite dates are picnic dates. youll sit outside together and after eating the sandwiches she made for the both of you, you lay down side by side looking at the clouds, pointing out to each other what you could make of them. she always had the better imagination. this was her favorite time to steal innocent glances at you.
precrash!shauna who would read you to sleep as if you were her baby. shes always been a motherly type of lover and she loves to read, so she indulges in a bedtime story before bed whenever she can. you arent really listening to what shes saying, mostly just focusing on her voice, but you can tell when she takes a short glance over at you by listening to the way she pauses in between a sentence instead of just carrying on in her usual melodic reading voice.
precrash!shauna whod covertly kiss your cheek as she departs from your conversation to make her way to her next class. her hand lingering on your arm as she walks away, extending it as far as she could to cover as much distance she could in order to feel your touch last on her skin.
if it wasnt already obvious, precrash!shauna's love language is physical touch. she'd do anything to have her hands on you. you could be making out in her cozy room, the lights dim and music playing softly in the background, her hands running up and down your arms. she previously placed your hands on her thighs, making sure you kept them there before placing her own hands on your cheeks, cupping your face in her hands and deepening the kiss.
precrash!shauna whod pass notes in classes you share together, simply because she cant stop talking to you. ever. you couldn't tell if it was something she just did out of pure love or possessiveness, making sure she always held your attention and no one elses. if she sees you talking to someone she doesnt know, she'll be the first to butt in, acting like she's known the other person her whole life.
precrash!shauna who once accidentally let slip the fact you were dating to jackie and immediately covered her mouth with her hands. she is not good at keeping secrets and you questioned how she let it go this far without her letting it spill. you still arent informed of this incident though, so that streak is still growing. jackie looks at you differently now that she knows (in a 'ill kill you if you hurt her' way mixed with an 'i know what you are' stare).
precrash!shauna whod wake up early to make you breakfast. she's naturally an early riser so she feels compelled to feed you when you wake up (motherly love showing once again). she memorized all your favorite foods and feels the need to use that to her advantage, she hates having all this knowledge about you just to do nothing with it.
precrash!shauna whod literally lay on top of you if you arent giving her your attention while hanging out at her house. wether you were doing homework or reading, she'll find a way to have your attention diverted onto her no matter what.
precrash!shauna who sings karaoke after states, and being the best friends captain, urges jackie to join with her. shes a horrible singer but you'll never tell her that. she dedicates a romantic song to you and plays it off when the other girls ask why she chose that specific song. "cant two friends just be platonically in love with each other?" she'd say as she wraps an arm around your neck after she stands beside you, pulling you in and looking at you with a cheesy smile. jackie once again looks at you with a glare you cant decipher, shauna still hasnt told you about the incident.
precrash!shauna who, during arguments, will shut you out completely, scared she'll say something that will hurt you. she'll journal about it, not in the journal dedicated to you though. she keeps that for good memories, which, to be fair are most of your memories. thankfully, journaling calms her down more than the average person, and once she's done and has made sure she's gotten all her feelings out, she'll wait for school the next day to approach you. she would stuff a love letter in your locker and then apologize formally during lunch, dragging you out of the cafeteria and into the bathroom, kissing you and jokingly scolding you before you go back and rejoin your friends. the rest of the day is filled with reassuring glances before she drives you home to catch up on what happened at school that day.
yellowjackets is seriously so unrealistic bcs ur telling me the first thing those girls did wasnt heavily makeout with shauna shipman? like they went for travis of all people? like oh okay suddenly this isnt a safeplace for me
might just write a baseball player!reader x shauna fic for shits and giggles AND because im a baseball player who just so happens to be in love with shauna shipman.
talking about teaching her how to play baseball while stranded in the wilderness and her just getting grumpy because shes good with her feet and not her upper body.
her storming off and complaining about the fact shes 'not good at it because we're using a stick and a pinecone instead of a bat and ball'.
her dominant persona drifting as the others watch her walk off and get mad at the smallest setbacks.
★ ✦ winter is on the way, which means food is scarce, sleeping feels like dying, and the constant snowfall feels like being trapped; not with her. not with shauna
precrash headcanons - 1.2k
★ just precrash shauna x reader. what else is needed
fratboy shauna headcanons - 1.2k
★ ✦ also just fratboy shauna headcanons. also what else is needed
summary: winter is on the way, which means food is scarce, sleeping feels like dying, and the constant snowfall feels like being trapped; not with her. not with shauna
genre: fluff, some angst
wc: 2.9k
warnings: mentions of death, mentions of cannibalism, hurt/comfort, reader sucks at comfort, reader uses he/him pronouns but its still a gender-neutral reader so it doesnt really affect anything!
a/n: this is my first work so i'm fully expecting this so be choppy, but! im in love with shaunibal lecter so i had to! i was also listening to strangers by ethel cain while writing this, if that makes it any more heartwrenching. this was originally supposed to be a short drabble with slight angst but i kind of got carried away and wanted more plot so hopefully its not too much to read.
it was a cold day, not nearly as cold as winter at its peak, but cold enough to see your breath with each spoken word. you were sat at the table inside the cabin with a blanket around your shoulders rummaging through a box youve found in the attic. it was full of trinkets, an empty film roll, thumbtacks, a needle and thread in which you had originally been looking for in order to sew up an old, dirtied flannel that had been worn out and beaten up with holes.
people had walked in and out of the cabin since you first woke up, youve learned to drown the sound out. youve learned to concentrate better on the things in front of you since the crash, currently, as mentioned before it was fixing the red and white flannel shauna had given you. it was blue thread that you had found. this would've annoyed and bothered you before you ended up in the wilderness, "its a red and white flannel, not red white and blue flannel" . you wouldve complained and bickered about the wrong color match, but now it all seemed silly, and it was, seeing as you all now had more important things to worry about.
outside you could hear arguing from the other girls. natalie arguing with mari about the lack of food being provided, but it was all a blur now, this was normal and you had already adapted to your new life of survival. the things that used to annoy you simply don't anymore.
you heard shuffling on your left side, felt the bench beside you shift, and a soft brush against the thick skin of your thigh. it snapped you out of your current hobby and you locked eyes with the brown haired-brown eyed butcheress.
"oh, hey" you stifle a chuckle, letting out a soft sigh at the sight of her, her slightly bloodied and crimson hands, stained from the meat being saved in the meat 'chamber', her duty being cutting it up to prepare for dinner. one thing you also noticed was the soft pink powder on her fingertips. had she been doing her makeup?
"hey," soft, just like her touch on your thigh, the way she greeted you, "whatcha doin'?" and questioning, just like she'd learned to be after crashing here, finding trust harder out here than in civilization. it was all in her eyes, as it always had been, but harder to read now. shes not see-through and neither are her brown orbs, all glossed-over. she's been adapting as well.
"just sewing up my flannel.. i snagged it on a branch or something, and y'know.. gotta keep warm" you went back to concentrating on your work, no longer staring at shauna. she doesnt bother you about the fact you called the flannel in your hands yours, doesnt care that it originally belonged to her, just continues watching you, not necessarily in awe, but in contentment.
"where've you been? you keep disappearing on us" you nudge her, she sways slightly but doesnt mind. "god forbid one of the other girls did that" is all that goes through your head after you see she just continues to stare at you, no evidence of annoyance.
she stays quiet for a second, lifting her hands in front of her face to display her bloodied fingers covered by a pair fingerless gloves.
"i was out in the chamber," she looks down at her hands after laying them in her lap. she starts picking at the dried liquid on her fingertips. its your turn to stare now. "we havent gotten any new game from natalie so i have to work with whats left" she smoothes the skin of her thighs with her hands now, sighs, and then looks back up at you with a tight-lipped smile, obviously hiding concern and frustration.
"im sure itll be fine, shauna." you shrug, its the only way you know how to comfort her while also hiding the fear behind your own facade of self-assurance.
the truth is, you've also noticed the lack of food. natalie will go out hunting with travis, and come back with nothing, almost becoming a routine. you're all scared, you're all hungry, and who knows how long until youll act on those feelings?
"just give them some time. it'll be fine– we'll be fine" you divert your attention back to the flannel, you already feel the tears welling up in your eyes, your throat tightening with pain, and your voice starting to feel unstable, so you shut up.
the cold never broke, infact it gets colder at night. the whole group is sat around the fire now, the sun already gone, leaving the fire to be the only source of light. shauna is sat chopping meat into portions for dinner, akilah stirring the 'stew' which really only contained water, mushrooms and bitter herbs, and misty talking your ear off about some girl scouts lesson she learned in 8th grade and, albeit, you weren't listening it gave you a distraction from the hunger settling in your stomach as you impatiently waited for shauna to be done preparing the food.
"alright, hakuna fucking matata." you tilt your head up to see the girl previously mentioned bringing the platter of deer meat towards the middle of the mass of hungry teens.
part of you feels bad that the responsibility falls mostly on shauna and natalies shoulders, having to deal with killing and providing the food while the others watch and eat, but the other part is focused on just consuming what they've provided. times like these, the pitty feeling almost foreign as the hunger bubbles over as you grab slice after slice of deer and stuffing it into your mouth, imagining it was a slice of pizza instead of poorly cooked, almost rotting flesh from an animal your teammate had previously killed.
"you almost make it look good." you flich and cover your food at the voice that punctures your ears, looking over only to see lottie. her smile almost carefree, grease coating her lips and her slight giggle reassuring you there was no threat.
"i take what i can get" she nods in response.
small talk wasn't small talk anymore. you thrived off small talk. it was the new conversation in the wilderness. you didn't have gossip, you didn't have the school paper, you didn't have homework assignments to chat about. i take what i can get. it was a mantra.
"i don't know how much longer i can take, jackie. we're running out of food, im hungry. y/n says we'll be fine, he thinks i cant tell hes scared." jackie, sat on her blue pillow shauna had brought in from the cabin, looking at shauna as if shes some lunatic, but a sweet lunatic.
"well," jackie scoots over closer to shauna, grabbing her cold hands and rubbing her thumb across the red knuckles, "maybe hes right. i mean, if you do die," she speaks the last part through gritted teeth and a comedic expression shown on her face, "at least you'll have y/n by your side."
all shauna could do was sit silently, worried eyes looking at the sudden grip on her hands.
"yeah. yeah i guess youre right" she smiles but quickly lets it drop, it was a reasurring smile, letting jackie know she was being heard and listened to, although still very obvious that shauna was still scared. she just went back to doing jackies makeup.
you wondered what shauna was doing just like every other girl here. she was distancing herself, she was quiet, and everyone noticed it.
it didnt take a scientist to figure out that it was ultimately because of jackies death that she had been in hiding for several hours of the day. she only came out to chop meat and sleep in the warm attic of the cabin.
you were sat near the fire with natalie for warmth, the snow now crunching under the footsteps of the other girls.
"natalie," you speak up, it was comfortable silence before you mentioned her name, "i know youre getting a lot of shit for not bringing back any meat, and i know it's difficult, and i-i dont know, i think youre doing great. we're all just hungry, y'know?"
you were gonna continue speaking when you heard taissa yelling, which wasn't out of the ordinary due to her skepticism, but you listened anyway as her footsteps grew louder under the snow when she appeared from the chamber.
"what the fuck, shauna's been keeping jackies dead body in the meat chamber. shes been doing her..."
makeup. her words grew quiet as your ears began to ring. you had noticed the pink blush on her hands earlier that week, but you thought it was shauna applying it to herself, never connected the dots between the fact she didnt wear makeup, or even own any, and she hated the color pink.
"her clothes stay on" is all shauna said as the girls began to make an attempt at removing jackies garments after taissa had ordered them to. they had dragged her out of the hut after coming to an agreement to embalm her.
"shauna, thats not how embalming works-"
"i said her clothes stay on. leave her alone, shes cold."
taissa was cut off short by shaunas demanding tone, one that you havent heard before. the wilderness had changed everyone, but you never thought shauna would ever lose the gentleness in her voice, and it scared you that this is how you meet who shauna has now become, and with the intimidation of meeting a new person, all the girls back off of jackie and let go of the jacket covering the frostbitten flesh.
you didnt help set up jackies body on the 'stove' if thats even what you can call it, didnt help put the slab of wood onto the strong branches originally meant to cook your dinners each night, you just went back into the house as shauna followed you. tears threatened your eyes, but you feigned vulnerability and although this was a fitting time to cry, you didnt have it in you to cry in front of shauna, who earlier had lost her best friend due to a stupid argument about a boy.
just like earlier, you felt the brush of her hand on your thigh, the shift of the bench, and heard her finally speak up.
"don't you want to say a few words for jackie?" she sniffled. "come back outside, i need you." you wait before speaking back up, thinking about how to reject the offer.
"i cant shauna, i dont want-"
"please"
the grip on your thigh tightened, her soft voice became eager, and you knew you had to listen to her. you both got up and made your way back outside to see the team captains dead body on a table of bark.
it was grotesque. it was horrific. to see your best friend, who brought everyone together, the last time being at that fuckass party the night before the flight to break a fight between shauna and taissa, laying dead out in the middle of nowhere. the fact that even in death she'd do the same, the girls huddled around her, after shauna had started and indulged in another argument. just this time jackie had failed to break it up.
it took shauna to snap you out of your thoughts once again. she began to speak to jackie, stepping forward and admiring her face.
"i dont even know where you end and i begin" you could hear the tears she was holding back as she spoke. you wanted to step forward and comfort her, wanted to pull her in and hold her and tell her once again everything was going to be okay, but you let here continue.
"im sorry, and i love you." the girls stayed quiet. you stayed quiet. everything was quiet, for once out here everything went quiet as if the wilderness had heard, had given jackie a moment of silence, had given everyone a chance to grieve and wrap their heads around what shaunas statment coming to an end actually meant.
shauna grabbed a stick and lit it, igniting the pile of firewood and leaves beneath the corpse, jackie would take a new form by morning.
shauna was the last of the group to make her way back inside. it was dark now, the sun had set, everyone was asleep; you however, stayed awake.
you werent sure when shauna would decide to leave jackie and come back into the cabin, but once she did you stood up off the bench of the table and walked slowly over to her, careful not to wake the others. you wrapped the blanket you had previously wrapped around you around her shoulders and guided her up into the attic, eventually laying down on top of the makeshift mattress made of blankets and faced each other.
neither of you said anything for a few minutes, a silent agreement between you two to let each other sit with your thoughts before interrupting the other.
you noticed how her eyes were still glossy. she had dirt on her face, trails of clean flesh underneath her eyes down to her jaw resembling the tears that had previously fallen. her lip was quivering. her nose twitching slightly. she spoke up as you were collecting each detail and storing them into a special folder in your brain that only shauna could occupy.
"why did you stay awake for me" her voice was rough, it was scratchy, obviously a sign of her past crying. she didnt ask a question, she made a statement. she spoke once again after hearing your silence.
"you didn't have to do that, y'know?" a brief pause. "why do you care about me?" a question.
your face contorted into something of confusion and anger.
"what?" you shake your head and look at her as if she was insane. "why would you ask that, shauna?" another pause.
"i-i dont know. i mean, you think im crazy, right? i was talking to my dead best friend." her voice becomes unstable and you know you needed to do something.
"no! no-no shauna, youre not-" you stammer, take a deep breath, and pull her closer to you. "youre not crazy. its all gonna be okay. it'll all be okay sha-"
"stop saying that! please stop saying that"
you dont know what encouraged this reaction from her. you were only trying to help after all.
"you said everything was going to be okay last week. does it seem like everything is okay, y/n? i just set my best friend on fire!" her words hurt, you know it wasn't her intention. you had no idea what she wanted. you wanted to be back home more than ever, to take her out and buy her ice cream, or promise to take her shopping the next day, or go anywhere that wasnt the middle of the woods, but you couldn't, and all you had now were your words.
"shauna. shauna please just calm down. please just listen to me." you took a breath to collect your thoughts, not wanting to upset her more that you already had.
"i just- i don't know what to do, okay? i would do something but what the fuck do i do out here?" you sigh. "the truth is.. i cant promise everything will be okay. i dont know anything. i dont know whats happening. im scared too. we only have each other, shauna." she went quiet. "we only have each other" you repeat, much quieter this time, almost a whisper.
she was feeling sorry now, her face showing signs of regret and sympathy after yelling at you. she only pulls you in, pulling your head into her shoulder, hands threading and tugging your hair.
you wrap your arms around her in reciprocation, holding her protectively.
"i cant predict anything. but i can swear to you ill protect you, shauna. just dont leave me. i only have you, okay?"
she pulled you in closer. she spoke quietly and with thought, pulling your head away from her body and holding it inbetween her two palms reassuringly.
"im not going anywhere, okay? we'll eat together. we'll sleep together. we can warm each other up every night. ill die next to you. ill die with you. ill be by your side even in death, okay?" her voice was softer now, breaking with every other word and almost gutteral.
"i wont let anything happen to you, okay? just say my name and ill be here. ill be right here, okay?" she pulled you back in, as you were crying as well now.
it was cold inside the attic, your noses were red as well as your cheeks, your voices were shaky and noses runny, both from the tears and the cold, but neither of you were shivering. you kept each other warm, just like she had promised.
the next morning you ate together, also just like she had promised. it goes without saying you would also die together.
jackie was part of you now, part of shauna, part of lottie, lart of travis, part of natalie, part of everyone at camp. youd be a part of shauna for the rest of your life, you knew she'd also continue to be a part of you. even in death.
