INCLUSIVE BUTCHFEMME CULTURE

a blog dedicated to positivity, history, and information about butchfemmes of all genders and sexualities!

[butchfemme-experience]

welcome! this blog is dedicated to positivity, history, information, and community for butches, futches, and femmes of all genders and sexualities! however, this blog is focused on bisexual & achillean butchfemmes as there are a lack of spaces for us especially! blog is accepting of all those with complex or contradictory identities.

ask box is open for sharing experiences or anything you wish! this blog can serve as a butchfemme-culture-is blog. all discourse and negativity will be ignored. icon are these inclusive butchfemme flags by @/disasterbisexual. here is my rentry of butchfemme resources.

[knightfaetality]

Femme Masculinity: Multicultural Genderdiversity

l assure you it's fine to acknowledge that some femmes incl. BIPOC femmes, can and want to be masculine. And that their presentations don't have to be feminised to "respect that they are a femme".

Femmes can be masc-, men-aligned, androgynous or xenogendered (cannot be defined by current gendered schemas).

Femmes can have short, long or textured hair. Have any physical features and statures. Wear makeup or be entirely makeupless. Have the most gorgeous manicured acrylics, or bite their nails into choppy tips. Dress to their heart's content or not care about fashion at all. Wear stiletto heels or worn-in boots, long swishy skirts or a suit and tie.

Femmes can have straps, packers, penises and any genitalia—and they can call these whatever they want, too. Femmes can sweat, curse, have a voice like a foghorn. Have any kind of personality and take up space. Be emotionally and sexually unavailable. Have financial independence and even oversight. Be strong, body build, do the heavy lifting, or not do physical exercise at all. Engage in physical and gruelling labour. Have body hair or none at all. Not be great with kids or to love taking care of them. Be family-centric, or have no ties to family at all.

Some femmes see these as feminine things ( and yes your packer/strap/penis can absolutely be feminine if you please ), others as masculine things. Some might be genderfluid and see these as characteristic of multiple genders. Others might not associate with gender at all. Some prefer masculine compliments, some feminine, some neutral, and others dependent on the giver & the context.

None of these makes them less femme, all of these can be of any gender or a-gendered. None of these require a white person's gender-detection skills to be validated and absorbed into Eurocolonial standards. And sometimes what you believe to be a compliment, may contain oppression, erasure and violence to another. Insisting otherwise is Racism, Femmephobia and Exorsexism.

Some of you with your femmephobia and ignorant white feminism, will insist that some BIPOC femmes' practices and attributes are "very feminine". When the whole point of BIPOC allyship is to not generalise gender, feminise nor masculinise BIPOC practices.

At this point, some of you are repeating the inverse, while believing that's allyship. Meanwhile it's your voice and generalised POV centered over a BIPOC's individual voice, and you're rewarded for your ignorant impositions. This is still white-centrism as arbiters of multicultural genderdiversity.

We are typically misgendered and stereotyped under Eurocolonial standards, when we each have unique associations with our own cultural practices and traits that might differ from people within the same culture.

We don't have to do away with our intracultural AND intercultural genderdiversity, just to fit white-dominated discourse.

We don't have to be reduced to a monolith, to please white performative activism.

And while we are at it, we can, but don’t have to participate in your language and terms if we don’t want to.

[campgender]

do you have any more sources related to futch history/historical documentations of the word futch? i keep seeing people say its invalid bc of that one meme and it makes me sad but looking at the history behind the term makes me feel better

🥺💓 hi this ask means so much to me omg, i love futches with my whole heart (& someone very dear to me is both butch & femme❣️) so it's really important to me to showcase those experiences & history when i can! unfortunately i haven't come across a ton about the topic but my double role playing tag contains all posts i've posted or reblogged about futch identity, history, or vibes. if i'm able to poke around more later i will definitely update if i find anything else relevant!

i think you've already seen this but for anyone else using this post as a resource, this excerpt of Boots of Leather, Slippers of Gold discusses individuals who occupied both butch & femme roles in the 1950s (cw exclusionism but some people discuss becoming more inclusive). the word futch wasn't used at the time to my/the authors' knowledge but there have been people who resonate with both butch & femme roles for as long as butch & femme roles have been played!

i've posted a couple excerpts of "Futch: Thoughts from the Borderlands" by Elaine Miller (part 1; part 2) but i couldn't find a full text to link you to so i also uploaded the whole thing (read here). it's from the 2011 Persistence: All Ways Butch and Femme anthology & she discusses identifying as futch since roughly 1995

this mini interview with elaine miller in 2011 to promote the anthology:

I’d like folks to go so far as to possess a sweeping sense of entitlement around nuanced gender expression.

a brief look at stem(me) history by @leikeliscomet is an incredible resource & i'm so grateful for the research that went into it [ofc not all stem(me)s are futch & certainly not all futches are stem(me) but interrelated topics]

it would still be completely okay to identify as futch if it were a newer identity, & there wouldn't be anything wrong with resonating with & claiming a term from a meme—but futch has simply been around longer than most people want to think.

[butchfemme-experience]

hi! do you know if the “classic” butch flag is meant for lesbians only (and the futch one?), or are there bi version of those??the flag thing confuses me

The blog who made the (orange) butch flag said this !! I do think the flag was originally made with lesbians specifically/only in mind, but yeah :) I'm not sure about the classic futch flag (or femme flag), but I'm assuming they were also made w lesbians in mind. But honestly I don't think there are strict rules to who can use them. It's just a flag. You're free to use them if you want, in my opinion!!

People have made a lot of alternative, fully inclusive versions of butch/futch/femme flags, and bi versions of them. I'm not exactly sure which ones are the most popular or well known amongst bisexual /etc butchfemmes though, tbh.

[emeldiir]

I need us to have an honest conversation about how awfully bisexuals are treated when we first come out as butchfemme, bc looking back on it now, the way that i experienced educating myself on butchfemme culture and history was full of some of the most disgusting biphobia that i’ve experienced in my life.

I spent hours and hours and hours scouring articles, books, online content, magazines, reddit communities, podcasts, youtube videos and more only to be met from the very beginning of my search with things like ‘bisexuals are disgusting sluts that poison sapphic communities, they do nothing but bend over for men and harm lesbians and take labels that aren’t theirs and they have no claim to lesbian history whatsoever.’ i was met with death threats towards bisexuals, rape threats, hateful and bigoted rhetoric from every fucking source i turned to and it genuinely fucked with my mental state so hard that i could not bring myself to call myself a butch for months.

I remember speaking to an elder lesbian butch online, a woman who is very popular amongst butchfemme communities, and being so excited to finally share myself with someone like me. I sent her an ask on this very website asking about bisexual butches, asking if she knew any, if she had any resources for me, if she could give me any encouraging words or advice, and she returned with a scathing reply telling me how the bisexual women that she stays in community with know their place as being privileged and allies to the lesbian community, how bisexuals should never conflate themselves with lesbians and how she would never support a bisexual butch bc we are tainted by men and will always return to men.

it crushed me.

I look back on baby butch bi me and i feel such inconsolable sadness and rage for him. I feel so much pain for the way that he was treated when all he wanted was to find a place he belonged. I feel so much pain for the bisexual community. i feel so erased and barred from what is rightfully mine.

This is something that i feel is a uniquely bisexual experience. The very nature of exclusion from our own history and culture and communities is a deep deep blight upon the queer community as a whole. It harms bisexuals deeply, hurts us in very vulnerable places and it keeps us hidden and shut away where we are no longer deemed problems for the rest of the community.

I know that my experience is not unique. I have heard the same from nearly every bisexual i’ve come across and from nearly every bisexual that i am in community with, and that in of itself is a heavy heavy weight on my soul.

[biwrites]

I Looooooooooove Being a Butch

Not “Butch” as in a haircut or body type

Not “Butch” as in a stereotype

Not even “Butch” as in lesbian

Butch as in getting stuck holding the door open

Butch as in the pride I feel when that happens

Butch as in checking my friends’ oil

Butch as in making sure they’re safe

Butch as in me and my girlfriend racing to see who can open the door for who

Butch as in being secure enough to wear pink, or a skirt, or a dress

Butch as in being secure enough to paint my nails

Butch as in checking in on the people I love

Butch as in making food for them when they need it

Or when they want it

Or when it just might make ‘em’ feel good

Butch as in laughing loud

And taking up space

Butch as in the little girl begging to knock down a wall with a golf club

Butch as in the grown person writing this poem

Butch as in expressing my butch-ness exactly how I want to

Because you might not think it when you see me

But I looooooove being a butch

[butchfemmepartout]

A reminder that consciously or subconsciously assuming butches can't/shouldn't have long hair and femmes can't/shouldn't have short hair is a pretty ethnocentric and western concept.

White masculinity is not the only masculinity that exists! White femininity is not the only femininity that exists! Not to mention the vast variation and diversity of presentation even within that narrow frame of reference.

[butchfemmepartout]

Would like to add on to this that I get agita when people complain about butches in dresses and skirts, too. The idea of those things being inherently feminine is pretty western, and even then, pretty RECENTLY western.

Maybe you're reading this post, and you didn't mean it that way, in which case I am not talking about you. But I think it's good to remember anyway that butches can present different ways.

Are you normal about east asian butches? South asian butches? African butches? Do you call a thobe/kandora feminine? Etc.

[butchfemmepartout]

You don't have to perform white femininity to be femme btw 👍 White femininity is not the only femininity that exists, nor is it the only femininity that is desirable 👍 Your skin is femme, your hair is femme, your clothing is femme, the way you talk is femme 👍

[olderbootbutch]

anyone can identify in whatever way they want to fine. but it is pretty out of pocket to spend all day posting about dyke sex when you go home to a man. when you routinely have sex with a man. there’s nothing wrong with being a masculine queer woman but butch is a really specific word with a lot of historical context. if you dropped lesbian from your vernacular upon realizing you desired men one would think you would drop butch too since that word doesn’t really describe you. as a femme i feel hurt to have spent time reblogging posts from and sending anons to someone who misrepresented themself as a masculine woman who presents that way for other women. please do some history reading and take care.

Respectfully, I am butch. I obviously don't know how old you are, since in your crusade for honesty here you are unwilling to even put your blog on these asks, but I have probably been butch longer than you have been alive. I present this way for myself, because it is who I am and who I have always been. My gender is butch. I am butch no matter who I am with or who is looking at me. I am butch when I am alone. Everywhere I go I am butch.

And bisexual butches have always existed, and will always exist.

[butchfemmepartout]

I love you femme/fem bi men. I love you so much. I love you when straight women call you dirty and undesirable.

I love you when your heterosexual relationships get called into question because you're "obviously gay," and "leading her on." I love you when your homosexual relationships are questioned because you're "just a closet case."

I love you when you get called fags and fairies and are targeted for presenting feminine.

I love you when you keep living as your true authentic self despite the world trying to tell you, over and over again, that they will decide what that means for you. I love you!

[butchfemmepartout]

Bisexual Butch + Bisexual Femme lockscreens 💗

I will be making more versions of these upon request and when I have some free time ψ(｀∇´)ψ

Bisexual Butch and Bisexual Femme flags by @/boygirlfemme

[butchfemmepartout]

🤔 I think another reason why some people get so angry when butches or femmes turn out to be bi is because it threatens their idea that all butch/femme pairings are inherently les4les. It's another avenue of "infiltration."

If you get scared and angry at the idea that the butch you're flirting with might turn out to be bisexual, please take a step back and ask yourself why. Why does it make you so angry? Why do you feel "betrayed," when in fact, identifying as butch or femme does not guarantee lesbianism, and you were only ever betrayed by your own assumptions? Why does it matter? Why do you then want to take it out on them?

[butchfemme-experience]

how would you define a butch? what makes someone butch?

am i attracted to butches because i think they’re cool or i am like them 😭😭😭😭

I answered a similar ask here, so I will link that instead of repeating the same things!

Butch is often best defined by the butch individual. It can be super vast and unique and personal. Generally, it can be a label for queer masculine individuals, who feel their queer masculinity/butchness is an identity. This could mean it is not strictly just related to their presentation (although ofc this is often a big part of it) but also their gender, and ways they go about life.

What makes someone a butch is them identifying as such! Connecting and identifying with butchness, butch identity, butch culture, etc.

Also, you can totally be both a butch and attracted to butches!

[k1ttyp1e]

happy birthday butches

[butchfemme-experience]

happy butch appreciation days to all bisexual and achillean butches out there!!!! you are seen, loved, and appreciated so so so much!!

[butchfemme-experience]

The day has come again! Happy butch appreciation day to butches of all genders and sexualities!! You are so loved and important <3

[status-quo-hater]

I dislike the way that when people hear the words "transgender butch" they automatically picture a transmasculine person. For me personally I hear "transgender butch" and I've always thought of a masc lesbian/bi trans woman. I know there are trans men who identify as butches but associating the word butch entirely with transmascs feels kind of like misgendering considering butch is a label for queer women.

[midnight-soulless-system]

Well, not necessarilly. Men can, and do, identify as butch and there are many butch lesbians who identifies as lesboys due ti their butchness. Saying it's misgendering because it's a label for queer women ignores the history of butch people and invalidates the current experiences of many /lh

[status-quo-hater]

I.. do not think you read what I posted..

Butch generally speaking refers to queer women. So it feels like misgendering (or indicative of a person viewing trans men as queer women rather than queer men) when people automatically associate trans men and transmascs generally with butchness. That is what I said. I'm not talking about specific people identifying a certain way.

[abandonedknowledge]

Well, no, actually. I understand your assumption of butch meaning queer woman, especially in the terms of modern queer terminology but historically butch has been used by *all* queer people, not just women. It definitely has been very popular in lesbian, and transmasc communities but it is not exclusive to either. Butch has been used in the gay men communities, and was originally used simply as an identifier as "masc-presenting queer person". So while, I do agree with your point that it's upsetting that "transgender butch" has been opted to simply mean "transmasc lesbian", because not every butch is transmasc, butch does not have to solely do with queer women. The first instance of Butch specifically being used in queer context came from the voguing scene from the term "Butch Queen" and usually referred to a gay man who showed both traits of masculinity and femininity, not queer woman. Butch only started to become associated with lesbians and queer women during the 40s and 50s from work culture lesbians. Even then, it was less to mean a queer woman, and specifically to mean queer masculinity. Regardless, it's shitty that it's only associated with transmasc lesbians, because there are so many different butches in different shapes and sizes and identities. I myself am not even a transmasc butch, but just because I say I'm butch people assume that about me! it's super frustrating.

These are some good sources for the history of the term butch !

1 / 2

[velvetvexations]

@ The butch thing

"BUTCH (n. , adj.) : (n.) Usually a female homosexual who is the more aggressive and masculine partner in a social or sexual relationship; a female homosexual who assumes the responsibilities of the husband; a male homosexual who appears masculine; the opposite of a 'fem'. Some male homosexuals may assume the 'butch' role to conceal their homosexuality from heterosexual friends. (adj.) Masculine or mannish.

BUTCH IT UP (v.) : To behave in a masculine manner. For a male homosexual, to appear 'straight'; for a female to be aggressively mannish." — definition from Anthropological Linguistics, vol. 13-14 (1971)

That's an example from more than 50 years ago and it explicitly includes gay men in the definition.

The word butch has never been exclusive to lesbians and has been widely used in gay male communities for decades. In fact, it's even considered part of Polari (historical gay slang from 19th and early 20th century). You will find books like The Butch Manual (1982) that use the word exclusively to refer to gay men. The word is also used among QPoC in ballroom culture to refer to gay men, who are called Butch Queens.

According to the work of Marlon M. Bailey (scholar of African-American and LGBT studies), who studied ballroom culture, in the gender system of the ballroom scene, the word "Butch" is literally the gender term used for trans men, just like how "Femme Queen" is the word for trans women. (see : Butch Queens Up in Pumps : Gender Performance and Ballroom Culture in Detroit, by Marlon M. Bailey (p. 40) ; Black Genders and Sexualities, by Shaka McGlotten and Dana-Ain Davis (chapter 14)...)

Proeminent TMoC in ballroom (Reese Pandavies, Duchess Ebony, Reno Prestige Wright...), walked as Butches in balls. This is part of the history of the ballroom scene and shouldn't be erased. More recently in the 21st century, the Butch category has split to create a "Transman" category, because trans men were perceived as getting some sort of advantage at looking masculine when competing against butch cis women (you can hear Sean Ebony Coleman and Shady Prada, two trans men from the ballroom scene, talk about it in the short video "Changing Butch Realness Category" from the Ballroom Culture History Channel). So now there are often separate "Transmen" categories. Language and labels evolve.

The word "butch" has a long history among gay men and trans men, including MoC in the ballroom scene. You don't get to rewrite history and erase that to pretend it has always been some sort of lesbian-exclusive word, let alone a recent one. It is really disrespectful towards all the trans men in history who have fought, been beaten, jailed and died under that label.

It's just like how we now consider drag queens and trans women different categories that shouldn't be conflated, but trans women can still be drag queens, and a lot of "drag queens" in history were actually trans women / transfem. It's generally considered transmisogynistic erasure when people act like, say, Stonewall was just about gay men and that the people in the riot were all cis gay drag queens. And acknowledging all that says nothing about the fact that trans men can also be drag queens.

Maybe you don't like the fact that trans men are sometimes mentioned alongside butches. You don't have to like it, but you cannot behave like that and straight up rewrite parts of queer history, especially when it's black queer history.

fascinating