Definitely Not The Product of a 12am Writing Idea

Lavender|24|they/them Hi! This is a sideblog dedicated to (mostly queer) writing! Expect a /lot/ of bisexuality

[biwrites]

Meet The Author

Hi everyone! For the purposes of this blog, you can call me Lavender. I’m a writer and I got bored, so I decided to start writing about my own experiences with queerness (and about gay stuff in general) and to toss it all up here! (As if I needed more to do while I prep for graduate school) I’m a bisexual sapphic, and I’ve been thinking a lot about that lately! After having a few nasty experiences with biphobia (and ranting about them to my girlfriend for hours), it got the juices flowing, and had me thinking about my own experiences with queerness (both in real life and online) harder than I had in some time. I also realized that I really wanted to see a more cohesive bisexual community here and had trouble finding very many people talking about bisexuality…so…I figured I’d do it myself! My goal is that someone will relate to the words i’m writing and feel less alone, learn a little something, or hell, even just smile and move on. 

In the future, I’d love to do larger writing projects with community input, so stick around if that sounds interesting to you!

Housecleaning: TERFS FUCK OFF| Be nice to people| If you don’t understand the way someone identifies, you can always ask! If this fails, fall back on being nice.| Labels are made to fit you, you aren’t made to fit labels. 

That being said, enjoy! Take a load off, drink some tea, stick around if you get the notion. My ask box is open if you’ve got questions! :3

[bunniestvampyfemme]

Boston Bisexual Women's Network, vol. 12 no. 3. June/July 1994

The BiVocal' Bi-story, by Robyn Ochs and Marcia Deihl (The BiVocal's Song)

source

[drpepperwhoree]

remember that pride is still a protest

[aceofblades222]

This is so so incredibly important

[queer-joy-detector]

Queer joy detected!

[hungry-skeleton]

Asexuals were always part of pride and it really fucking shows when people think it's a recent term.

[hungry-skeleton]

Although not going by the term "asexual" yet, asexuality was spoken about alongside homosexuality as far back as the 1890s. Asexual history is just as vital to queer history as any other term and I'm so tired of watching us being treated like a new thing

[hungry-skeleton]

This image is so so fucking important to me

[hungry-skeleton]

Reblog this, cowards

[in-my-bisexual-opinion]

Happy pride month to the bisexuals!

Bisexuals of all gender identities, trans bisexuals, nonbinary bisexuals, bisexuals with neo-pronouns and bisexuals whose gender is greatly influenced by their bisexuality

Bisexuals with nonbinary partners of all stripes, girlfriends, boyfriends, multiple partners, partners that defy categorization, or no partners at all

Indigenous bisexuals of Turtle Island, black bisexuals, and all bisexuals who face racism in addition to oppression for their bisexuality

Disabled bisexuals, bisexuals with chronic illnesses, bisexuals who still mask, bisexuals with mental health conditions, bisexuals with visible or invisible disabilities

Bisexuals who live in countries where who they are is a crime, bisexuals who have to stay closeted for their own safety, bisexuals who have been cast out by their families of origin

I love you. I see you. You belong here.

[verumex]

[biwrites]

Time for my quarterly breaking my own rules and yapping about discourse.

The issue with talking about the newest bi discourse of the day or whatever is that oftentimes, the behavior of one bad actor is getting generalized to an entire group of people, so when you try to say “hey, this sentiment is biphobic” you’re met with “so you SUPPORT [queer lolcow of the day]??? You think EVERYTHING THEY EVER SAID is GOOD ACTUALLY??? You HATE gay people???” And like. No. You’re just being an asshole.

For example, the current issue with the lady who went on the rant about how she never tries to date women because they’re too scary to talk to and doesn’t date masc lesbians because “if she wanted a guy, she’d go for the real thing”. That’s just blatantly lesbophobic! And transphobic! We can all agree on that! Gross! Don’t do that!

BUT

Where we run into a problem is when we extrapolate that thinking and behavior onto ALL bisexual sapphics, which is predictably where the discourse has ended up. Even creators who I *usually* agree with have said things in response like “sorry to the bisexuals, your PR team is really giving you a bad look, but I know the ones who follow me aren’t like that”.

Like. Oh wonderful. I’ve always wanted to be one of the good ones. That isn’t demeaning at all. Yay.

It’s never JUST about the one person, it always gets pushed out to justify sweeping biphobia, and we as bi people can’t push back on generalizations against our entire community without being told that we’re defending a bad actor. It’s exhausting, bad faith, and part of the reason I try to stay as FAR away from discourse posting on here as possible.

Anyway, I’m absolutely gonna have to discourse tax this one, and I’m gonna try to make it something positivity focused cause this shit sucks y’all.

[gaymingbinosaur]

Wait is that why there an increase of people talking about bi woman not dating woman? Like my bi aro ass has been so confused on the increase of people saying people like me aren’t bu because I don’t date women. Like I don’t give a shit but it was confusing

[biwrites]

Yeahhhh that’d probably be it. I know the arguments surrounding the whole thing got nasty for aroallo and alloace people.

[biwrites]

Time for my quarterly breaking my own rules and yapping about discourse.

The issue with talking about the newest bi discourse of the day or whatever is that oftentimes, the behavior of one bad actor is getting generalized to an entire group of people, so when you try to say “hey, this sentiment is biphobic” you’re met with “so you SUPPORT [queer lolcow of the day]??? You think EVERYTHING THEY EVER SAID is GOOD ACTUALLY??? You HATE gay people???” And like. No. You’re just being an asshole.

For example, the current issue with the lady who went on the rant about how she never tries to date women because they’re too scary to talk to and doesn’t date masc lesbians because “if she wanted a guy, she’d go for the real thing”. That’s just blatantly lesbophobic! And transphobic! We can all agree on that! Gross! Don’t do that!

BUT

Where we run into a problem is when we extrapolate that thinking and behavior onto ALL bisexual sapphics, which is predictably where the discourse has ended up. Even creators who I *usually* agree with have said things in response like “sorry to the bisexuals, your PR team is really giving you a bad look, but I know the ones who follow me aren’t like that”.

Like. Oh wonderful. I’ve always wanted to be one of the good ones. That isn’t demeaning at all. Yay.

It’s never JUST about the one person, it always gets pushed out to justify sweeping biphobia, and we as bi people can’t push back on generalizations against our entire community without being told that we’re defending a bad actor. It’s exhausting, bad faith, and part of the reason I try to stay as FAR away from discourse posting on here as possible.

Anyway, I’m absolutely gonna have to discourse tax this one, and I’m gonna try to make it something positivity focused cause this shit sucks y’all.

[in-my-bisexual-opinion]

Bisexuals and internalized homophobia

So I’ve been seeing a lot of posts (particularly on TikTok, a horrible place no one should visit) that amount to “bi women who can’t see themselves marrying a woman aren’t really bisexual.” The implication being, of course, that those bi women are straight. Even seeing some fellow bisexuals saying it.

It’s absolutely wild to me that other queer people cannot understand that internalized homophobia is one hell of a drug. I used to be unable to picture my future with a woman, and now I’m with a woman who I want to be with forever.

And the things that helped me get to that place weren’t judgement or dismissal. It was my real-life community and their support of me figuring myself out. It was seeing my lesbian, bi and queer friends date women and feeling a sense of longing. It was seeing more sapphic couples in the media and suddenly having an example of what my life could be that I’d never had before.

I hope that other young bisexuals get to have that experience, too. But people need to understand that bisexuals deserve to have space to figure ourselves out without judgement or shame, and not expect younger bisexuals to have it all figured out yet. That isn’t realistic or fair.

[biwrites]

“BUT PEOPLE NEED TO UNDERSTAND THAT BISEXUALS DESERVE TO HAVE THE SPACE TO FIGURE OURSELVES OUT WITHOUT JUDGEMENT OR SHAME, AND NOT EXPECT YOUNGER BISEXUALS TO HAVE IT ALL FIGURED OUT YET.”

[biwrites]

*taps sign*

[drchucktingle]

i have always found it so interesting how little it is mentioned that green day is a queer band. to have an openly bisexual man as your singer in 90s was big deal but i rarely see them talked about as any kind of pioneers in this way. dont really have an opinion on this just think it is interesting

[biwrites]

I truly don’t understand bi TERFS. Like. People who hate trans people are gonna hate you too. Radfems are like. NOTORIOUSLY biphobic (on top of everything else). If you can’t even muster an ounce of empathy for trans people, at LEAST have an ounce of self respect.

[mybitakes]

Yeah...this recent boom in bi terfs, specifically on Tumblr, trying to enter into conversations about biphobia and bimisogyny is ridiculous. absolutely no bi theory currently that is being spread around advocates for trans people to be excluded or disrespected. Many will actively interact with trans bi people and have no shame or awareness that they are doing so.

I don't think any of them should feel comfortable or safe contributing to conversations about biphobia when a good majority of radfems, regardless of whether they were bi themselves, have been ignoring and downplaying biphobia and s-xual harassment. It's literally a cesspit of bimisogynistic femcel sex pests on Twitter. Not a single radfem on there can have a convo with a bi woman about biphobia without attempting to s-xually degrade or verbally abuse them.

You are right. If it took y'all that long to finally stop throwing even your CIS bi sisters under the bus to experience harassment (often s-xual in nature, bc ofc), that is concerning. But I'm glad they are at least waking up to some ish now. still block every last one of them that attempts to talk to me about biphobia though.

[biwrites]

I truly don’t understand bi TERFS. Like. People who hate trans people are gonna hate you too. Radfems are like. NOTORIOUSLY biphobic (on top of everything else). If you can’t even muster an ounce of empathy for trans people, at LEAST have an ounce of self respect.

[biwrites]

Something I’m really genuinely thankful for when it comes to being bisexual is how much flexibility it’s allowed me in figuring out things surrounding my gender.

In some ways, I knew I was some flavor of nonbinary before I even knew I wasn’t straight. Once I came out as bisexual (and later pansexual, and later bisexual again) I didn’t have any reservations about whether I would be accepted as nonbinary and whatever flavor of multi-sexual I identified as at the time. I didn’t have to worry that I would ever be “too much/too little of a woman/man” to be bisexual, because bisexuality allows for that entire spectrum and more. I think bisexuality and pansexuality have a space for fluidity in sexuality and gender that’s really beautiful to me. You can be as attracted or as not attracted to anyone, be as much of or as little of any gender or none at all, and you still have a space with us.

I know some people treat is as a negative or like it keeps us from a cohesive community, but I genuinely think the wide diversity of experiences within bi and pansexuality is so awesome. I will always love hearing about people’s unique perspectives on their sexuality and how they differ from my own and how they have similarities!

TLDR: RAAAAAAAH I LOVE YALL

[yourehotcupcakke]

HAPPY LESBIAN VISIBILITY WEEK, LESBIANS!

[biwrites]

Happy Lesbian Visibility Week! Now that you’re visible, I am rapidly approaching your location, I’m in your walls, watch out

[biwrites]

As a bi butch, one of the things I don’t think you could even pay me to care about is people ID-ing as futch.

Like…you want me, a nonbinary bisexual who can barely even label their own gender beyond just “nonbinary” to be MAD at people expressing FLUIDITY in their gender presentation??? HELLO???

“Oh but it’s disrespectful to-“ shhhhhhh, we should be able to fuck with any labeling system we create. There will always be people who find home in the in-between space of any system and we should celebrate that SHHHHHHHH.