Butter-Scars

This is the shit I see go down in a farming supply store. True Stories.

[butter-scars-blog]

3 New Loaders!

>They're finally getting New Loaders

>They're being trained soon

>I'm probably going to be one of the Trainers

>Yay! More manpower!

>Chicken-Sniffer won't be as conscripted as often!

>I, Butter-Scars aka Gibz0matic, am I going to enjoy this

[butter-scars-blog]

Understaffed and Overwhelmed

>3 to 4 load-outs are called out at a time

>I can only handle 1 or 2 at a time

>I have to conscript non-loaders like Chicken-Sniffer for help

>We need more lemon pledge Loaders working at the same time

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"R" Rated Store

>Front of store has huge ass name

>The "R" in the name fell down

>The "R" is now in the office

>The "R" takes up the whole office

>Weirdest thing I've seen yet here

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I wanna go home!

>I like most of the CSMs

>Except One

>I don't mind stay 5 to 10 minutes after work to help out

>CSM is almost directly responsible for me staying an extra 40 fucking minutes

>"You're to slow on the carts get more!"

>Me thinks: I spent most of the day running for carts and doing load-outs, and we're busy as fuck

>Me does: goes out for more carts

>"Take care of the batteries before you leave!"

>Me thinks: I've already run 3 carts worth of batteries today, let the guy coming in take care of some for once

>Me does: takes care of the batteries again

>"Help the department manager move some displays"

>Me thinks: I just wanna go home damnit!

>Me does: moves the displays

>Fuck me for being so nice

[butter-scars-blog]

Corporate Badassery

>Corporate Big-Shot visited the other day

>VP big-wig or something

>They didn't come by car...

>Or train...

>They land in the freaking parking...

>In a fuck mothering HELICOPTER

>That's how bad asses should travel: Via Helicopter

>Customers and employees alike stop and stare at that shit as it lands

>Absolute bad ass

>Shook VP's hand later that day

>He said that Corporate appreciates the hardwork Loaders do

>My Hand was filthy with dirt, dust, and lime

>Felt almost guilty about shaking his clean one

[butter-scars-blog]

Real Talk: Etiquette

To Customers:

>There's such a thing as manners

>Unless you're an elderly person (or a cute girl), you may NOT call me "honey" or "sweetheart"

>You call me "mister" or "sir"  or "young man" if you need to talk to me

>And if you REALLY want me to help you, don't call me "boy" (unless you're from the south, because that's just what you do)

To Employees:

>Same as above

>When saying goodbyes you say "have a nice day" or "have a good one"

>Do NOT say "see ya" or something like that

>Etiquette people

>Seriously

>Use it

[butter-scars-blog]

I Hate Batteries

>Did I mention I hate batteries?

>Store has a Car Battery exchange

>Bring in old one, get $10 off the new one

>People bring in the worst batteries

>They're filthy as fuck

>They're heavy as fuck

>And Worst of All: They Bring in LEAKY ones!

>Lead lined batteries with LEAKY Acid all over the place?

>Fuck that shit

>I hate batteries

[butter-scars-blog]

Why you do this Gun Guy?

>Gun Guy runs Gun Counter most of the time

>Nice guy normally

>Usually asks for mops and brooms to clean up his area

>He can't leave the counter unattended EVER

>Safety concerns and whatnot

>Today he called me over

>Told me 2 cute girls were looking for me

>Cue "Oh Shit" face

>Claims they were a blonde and a brunette

>Claims their names were "Emily" and "Ashley"

>Confusion and trying to place the names with faces in memory

>Had me going for about 5 minutes

>Gun Guy smiles and says just kidding dude

>I call Gun Guy an ass and that I'll never bring him a mop or broom again

>Honestly, I'll still bring him his mop or broom

>Because I'm a good guy like that

[butter-scars-blog]

Nasty Brew of Mash

>Store sells potatoes in barrels

>Some of the older ones were smelling a bit... ripe

>Was told to empty and clean it

>Potatoes at bottom of barrel are like mash

>Cue "Oh Shit" face

>Take barrel and mash into back room and hose the shit out of it

>Filled barrel nearly full of soap and water

>water + bubbles + stink + hose= me looking like a wizard mixing up some sort of brew

>Shorty sees me and laughs

>Got it clean finally

>Nastiest stillborn Vodka ever

[butter-scars-blog]

How to get (almost) Fired

>OUR Forklift was broken down

>Store got a rental

>Needed a few pallets of salt from out back

>So I ASKED FOR PERMISSION from Ms. Shorty and used the rental

>Rental was a P.O.S. but I got my salt

>She and I find out half an hour to an hour later that to use the Rental we need an official "Forklift Driver's License"

>Driving the Rental without one its grounds for being fired

>If we're ever asked about it, Shorty and I "know nothing about it"

>All's well... for now I hope

[butter-scars-blog]

Meet the Crew pt. 1

>I already introduced Chicken Sniffer and Doppelganger

>Shorty is lady in charge of recieving

>Big Guy, Whiny, and Newbie are Loaders like Doppelganger and I

>Bunny Guy works in feed with Chicken Sniffer

>Gun Guy is the guy in charge of the gun counter

>Captain Maintenance is charge of the repair shop

>Will introduce CSMs and other Managers later

>But the Departments are Feed, Farming, Seasonal, Food, Tools, Hardware, Clothing, Shoes, and Fencing

[butter-scars-blog]

Rude Ass Kids

>Rude Kid the other day

>Store owns a handicapped electric chair scooter thing

>Kid starts playing with it

>Backs it into a wall... Loudly

>Give my best impersonation of the "Angry Parent Stare Who Doesn't Have To Say Shit Because The Kid Knows He's In Trouble"

>Kid stares back at me

>Kid backs away slowly

>Kid is scared and seems to get the message

>Kid goes back to his parents

>5 minutes later

>Kid goes back to playing with the Goddamn Chair!

>CSM tells him off this time and makes him scamper off

>Rude Ass Kids

>No respect

[butter-scars-blog]

Doppelganger is a Dumbass

>A couple weeks back I was scheduled to work the morning shift at the store

>Pretty normal for me

>The Doppelganger (guy with the same name as me) shows up to work the same shift

>CSMs and I thought it was weird, he usually works afternoons or evenings

>The end of the shift rolls around and I check the schedule

>Dumbass Doppelganger read and did MY schedule

>They made the Doppelganger spend an extra 2 hours at work to cover for the time lapse between the shifts

>Doppelganger was pissed

>I laughed my ass off all the way home

[butter-scars-blog]

Boss noticed me but...

>Been working at the store for only a month

>But I work hard

>It was a slow morning and I was stocking feed supplies (dispensers and containers) all nice and pretty looking

>Department Manager approaches me saying it looks real good

>He says the store has a high turnover rate and burn outs happen often, if I keep working hard there is a VERY good chance of me being promoted

>I like the idea of a bigger paycheck, not so much a career at the store

>I'm going to college to be a Teacher

>I'm on my 3rd year in college and just got accepted into the School of Education

>So there's NO WAY I wanna spend the rest of my life serving popcorn and moving 40 to 50 bags everyday

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Mah MILKSHAKE

>The Farm Supply Store I work at is on a plaza

>On the plaza there's also a fast-food place with MILKSHAKES

>MILKSHAKES are the shit!

>I only get 10 minute breaks so I have to move fast in order to get something to eat/drink

>Fortunately an old HS classmate of mine is working there

>We were the class of 2012

>Nice enough girl, we never talked really in HS

>She's married with a kid now

>She knows my breaks are short so she makes my MILKSHAKES pretty damn quick, because she's awesome like that

>I get back at work with 2 minutes to spare

>It pays to know people

[butter-scars-blog]

Monty The Bunny

>We had an albino bunny the other day

>White fur and Red eyed

>Walk past it with Chicken Sniffer

>He says its HIS and he wants to take it home with him

>I ask "What are you going to name it? Monty?"

>Insert "Monty Python: Holy Grail: Killer Rabbit" reference

>Chicken Sniffer's eyes light up

>Says he loves that movie, and his favorite part is the Knights who say "Ni"

>I told him I like... Tim

>I have found a true comrade in that place

>Sidenote: Monty was sold to a little girl later that day

[butter-scars-blog]

Effing Carts

>Store has shitty carts

>Customers complain on a daily if not hourly basis

>Bought about a decade ago from another store with our stickers on the side with our name

>Most are broken

>Wheels need WD-40 on a DAILY basis

>They come in different sizes so they don't all fit together right

>I hate our carts with a fiery passion