@theartofmadeline
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YOU ARE THE REASON
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
Kaledo Art
cherry valley forever
Love Begins
todays bird
oozey mess
hello vonnie
Misplaced Lens Cap
blake kathryn
DEAR READER
Stranger Things
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Origami Around
祝日 / Permanent Vacation
ojovivo
dirt enthusiast
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seen from Türkiye
seen from Italy
seen from Azerbaijan
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Germany
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Poland
seen from United Kingdom
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@bvz1rd
── you hold onto what you have; you do not give it up easily, even when you know it is poisoning you. // michael kaiser and a few other bllk muses. penned by geese . canon-compliant . unaffiliated
── multi . cr .
disclaimer under the cut.
me: rambling about the mental state of michael kaiser while analyzing the impact it has on his professional life as a soccer player
kaiser: boobs out on dash
me: whoa
Mai drawing everyday instead of once a decade... this is revolutionary 😮😮 can mai do 3/3? 😱 yea no i have a fever, will be posting a Kiryu art when im well tho 🥹
DIS ART IS FOR @souukai LOVE UR RENTRIES DADA !!!
nobody asked my opinion but i'll give it anyways: sometimes i thiiink people forget that kaiser is actually, genuinely crazy. the tendency to choke himself during introspection or when he's overwhelmed by negative emotions does count as self-harm imo, not to mention the manga continously makes emphasis on the way he channels his father's behavior, repeating the cycle of abuse by doing it to those weaker than himself. he enjoys inflicting pain on others because it makes him feel alive. in the mornings he goes through moments of despersonalization in front of the mirror and he has to remind himself that he exists, his routine is build over the very foundations of his broken identity because as a victim of domestic abuse, he didn't get to truly understand his own place in the world as a whole person, but as tiny broken pieces of an individual. it's not the first time he's openly shown signs of his violent tendencies or trauma dumps in public, there's that moment when he spoke openly about being beaten as a kid to rin, he also made reference to his "shitty father" in a public ad, he also never held back from bullying or insulting others in public (remember the NEL arc was broadcasted LIVE across the world and EVERYONE could see moments like kaiser provoking and insulting yukimiya and isagi in the lockers). and so on and on, kaiser has never shown himself as anything different than a whole violent, mentally unstable bully around other players.
his behavior with fans,however, is different. because he likes the attention, he likes the "love" they offer to him and there would be no people sending him hundreds of chocolates for valentine's day if he hadn't charmed them in some way. his princeley facade also serves as a hook for others to think of him as simply "mean". think of him as a regina george in soccer lmao.
as for kaiser, i dont think he has thoughts about dying. In fact, i think he's actually a really persistent person, and while haunted by his past and developing insecurities that sometimes make him feel unworthy of living, his will to fight is strong and overpowers all else. he will fight with teeth and nails for a place and a prize and he's stuck in this cycle of continously searching for something to attain. so, unlike bunny, kaiser developed a strong will to live and prove his worth and feel that sense of validation that comes with defeating the impossible.
my headcanon about bunny is that he actually really loves sae because sae treats him bad and is cold and insults him and because bunny operates with passive suicidal ideation he likes that rush (Low-key a masochist) so...
greed
"I had spent my life feeling like a species of one. Monster, mutation, Nietzschean superman—I could perceive no difference. I had no basis for comparison. Now here was another of my kind, and I wanted to know everything about him."
- Exquisite Corpse, Poppy Z. Brite
Michael Kaiser
while kaiser absolutely LOATHES other people touching his neck or would beat you up if you try to choke him, a lot of his poses revolve around him exposing his throat or wrapping his hand around it so it truly makes you think that he might be very into that exhilarating feeling of exposing the rawest part about yourself like a bleeding, open wound while the public applauds your performance.
Michael Kaiser
spotting kaiser lounging in one of the chairs, book in hand, glasses on, sae thinks this is the perfect opportunity to take a photo to add into his collection of cherishing things. he approached him, bag in his left hand. sae's not one for holidays nor is he one to celebrate his own birthday, they're just another day. another time frame passing by, nothing of important. " Michael, " the bag is placed on the table, right next to that champagne glass that was filled with cola instead of alcohol. everyday sae gets to figure out more things about his boyfriend; this was the michael kaiser he knew from the past, the one who always looked confused off the field yet hyper-focused once a ball is in his vision. Inside of the gift was two bottles of cologne, one is what sae uses occasionally, myrrh with the tiniest hint of vanilla, sandalwood, too. box of chocolates, a bracelet that matches the necklace Kaiser had given him years ago, last but not least, he had a brand new pair of cleats that were tucked away underneath the bed. he'll give that to him later.
" I know you plan on lazing around all day, so … happy birthday. "
in the past, somewhere, he’d read that speaking a lover’s name it was like surrendering it to someone else, a stranger, to whoever might hear it. kaiser disliked the idea of speaking about this — about sae and him. not out of secrecy or shame, none of that. it all boiled down to selfishness, the sort of pettiness that’s embarrassing to say aloud and so, he keeps it all to himself. brows knitted together, curled lips; he examines the bottle handed to him.
his eyes scan the contents - liquid silver, the color of moonlight. when kaiser lifts the bottle up against the light, it almost looks like diamonds spread out on the riverbank.
“birthday, huh?” kaiser scoffs, followed by a click of his tongue. had it been anyone else, he might have thrown the bottle, or squeezed it until it shattered in his palm, the pain a momentary reminder that he, too, was alive.
instead he sprays some of it around his wrists, places it on the coffee table as he watches sae take a seat beside him on the couch, his body sinking in the cushions. kaiser gives him a wry smile, “to me it looks like you’re trying to mark your territory.”
do you hate it? then give it back., sae’s heavy stare says. kaiser laughs, then. actually laughs.
“sure, sure. i don’t hate the idea. aren’t humans just big, ruthless animals? cologne is classy, and i like the smell, so i’ll allow it.” to resist kindness is equally burdensome as receiving it. the soul grows sick of longing for it, so it teaches itself that its never needed it. kaiser tilts his head back, against his fist, and watches sae for a moment. what exactly makes him so different to the rest?
is it the coldness that comes with arrogance? or is it desire for what’s forbidden? (he wasn’t his, and hadn’t been for a long time)the rational part of him tells him to be quiet, but a more primal, honest part of him brings subtle memories with it: the worn out surface of a football, old paint peeling off brick walls, the sound of sirens coming from afar.
“you should wear some. that way no one’s going to approach you, either.”
and they’ll know you’re mine.
@sukareo
this is how i picture their first kiss
@bvz1rd
"What's the matter, Are you jealous?" hugo @ sae
Jealousy is a negative emotion that Sae has experienced every other blue moon. No, he doesn't think he gets jealous over things — people— when there's nothing to provoke him from feeling that way. Fingers digging into his own arms, an attempt to hold back his tongue from sprouting insults. Today isn't the day, no, he can’t act unprofessional around the higher-ups or else they'll really try to pull strings. Not that he gave a shit about majority of these money-grabbing rich old fucking coots anyway. They'll die soon before the next world cup. Sae gives a side glance at @bvz1rd who was focusing on their other teammates – the forwards of New Generation Eleven. Keyword is forwards, excluding him, Hugo, and Lorenzo who's busy tackling the fancy feast that the staff had prepared.
“ Are you asking me that I'm jealous of not being in this shoot or are you planning on pissing me off today? “ Snippy. Sae didn't care for these types of things, especially if he involved that oversized rabbit getting touchy in the most unnecessary situation. No, he's not intimidated by Iglesias at all, he just doesn't like being in his presence for multiple reasons. Sae only allows a handful of people in his bubble — Bunny is just an add-on in case things go downhill.
Hugo? The individual who's more of a robot than he is? Another add-on. Their relationship is transactional at best but it's nothing close to a rivalry at all.
Two midfielders who supposedly shared the same dream, a fantasy that can't breach reality if it damn well tried. Teal hues remain on the taller man beside him, if he squints he can see the smallest of eyelash present at the bottom. On Hugo's shoulder was a mere piece of lint, instinctively Sae does the right thing ( just this once ) on ridding the speck away is by using his hand to brush it off ; a gesture he's done to many times towards the man, silently inciting that he wanted him to shut his damn mouth.
Don't ask stupid questions or else I will kill you.
" You're the one that seems more jealous to me. Upset that you're not up there being by Loki's side? " A jab— no, more like a knife being plunged through the chest, tip barely reaching the heart. " A loyal dog is supposed to stay by their owner's side, not antagonize anyone else or else the dog will be punished. Corrected. " Two fingers crawl across that broad shoulder, a spider wandering, coming to a pause on where Hugo's pulse point was on his neck. Alive, for someone who's a smidgen similar to Sae, it's hard to believe that Hugo's more of an iceberg than he was. Dull. Dry, however there was a beating organ in there, unfortunately. Hugo's entire presence always nagged the back of his damn head ( and by standing here, he doesn't know how to feel about it.) Tepid.
" I don't have the time and the energy to correct you. "
🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓 FROM ISAGI
like the place he’d left behind, the blue lock quarters had a barren quality to them. just utilitarian stuff to shelter them from the elements, the bare necessities provided for them and a number of rooms housing the latest technology in the sports area. it reeked of self-interest, far beyond what the shitty players’ little brains could imagine.
kaiser sensed it, couldn’t take it off his mind as he couldn’t shake off the hunger that’d been ignited since he saw yoichi’s guileless look beckoning him like a wounded sheep’s cries would call a wolf.
yoichi, the project, ego’s design - all of it had come together to create the perfect trap, and kaiser hadn’t felt so desperate and directionless since he’d been a child. yoichi’s teeth sinking into his flesh yank him out of his thoughts, a hiss follows after and his fist lands heavy against yoichi’s face. his wounded hand - the one that yoichi bit down soon as kaiser grabbed his jaw - curled and uncurled on its own volition, as if testing the extent of the damage.
“you piece of shit…” kaiser moved forward, not waiting for yoichi to gain his senses back. shirt on a fist, kaiser brings him closer in, until they’re face to face. “what do you think you are? keep acting like a fucking animal, if you want to be collared that much.”
a bead of sweat ran down yoichi’s temple and lower, across the column of his neck. kaiser made no effort to hide the way his eyes followed it. yoichi didn’t shy away from the brazen look, nor did he make any attempt to cross the bridge that’d been laid out and open for him.
it’d always been simpler to speak with his fists than using his mouth, and to be faced with this sort of provocation channeled back to him made something in his blood boil like hot charcoal. kaiser’s voice turned sour, and deeper, “untamed beasts like you are better off used for hunting. how about you behave like a proper one and wait for my bullet, shitty yoichi.”
send 🤓 to bite my muse // @rivalists
" so, " rare is the opportunity to sit down and chat. so in the periods where their busy schedules somehow align, xia fei takes the empty place next to him. his body language relatively casual and lax. without the cameras hovering nearby, there's no harm in letting his own interests slip past the cracks. " say… how is noel noa as a coach? i know he's an amazing player and all, but i never anticipated him taking on the role. "
of his first impression, there was little to tell. hands balled up into fists, gritted teeth and a flame in his chest that burnt a little too hot, kaiser had stepped into the bastard munchen’s main offices and took stock of the man who now held his leash. ray dark, on paper.
on the field, noel noa cast a shadow over the players, the type of darkness that swallows anything up like black sea of ink. kaiser learned to navigate his way through the ranks, and of noel noa he barely heard a thing that wasn’t related to his selfish whims. but who’s to say what true selfishness is, in a world full of hungry football-brained men?
kaiser’s voice rumbled in his throat, a low hum as his left hand flew to thread through his hair. “a coach? hardly.” he scoffed. “the professional lines are filled to the brim with idealistic bastards who think they can change the world with their plays, so it’s common to see them discarded like old sheets if they don’t make the cut.”
“who do you think makes the assessment?” kaiser made a pause, for the theatrics of it, in part, and because he wanted to gauge xia fei’s reaction. his face, like an open book, had become a source of amusement. honesty, on the stage he stood, was rare, so he’d been inevitably drawn to xia fei’s transparent hues. “i wouldn’t call him a coach, but an executioner. and he does a damn good job at slicing throats.”
@limel1ghts
❝ Tell me you do not feel it, and I will name you a liar. ❞ // nagirin
Words held on the tip of his tongue, threatening to spill, confess that he definitely didn't feel it. He definitely didn't feel the obvious excitement that Rin had right there in his damn sleep shorts— are those the stupid promotional merchandise that they did months ago? That's his name on those shorts— Rin really is a pervert ( maybe Isagi was right to call him one? ) Nagi’s come to a conclusion that this monster has too many layers to him, too many sides that he's itching to explore further. He's dealt with the stoic, irritable Itoshi Rin on a daily basis. The Rin that's currently sitting on his crotch, rutting half-assed against him is not the same Rin that was telling him to fuck off hours ago after bothering him ( on purpose ) during his yoga cool down session. Nagi's learned to never poke a beast with a stick, unless he's eager to have his throat ripped out.
He was, and he knows Rin wanted to do that to him.
Strong hands found themselves grabbing onto those hips, pushing him further down on his lap just so Rin can feel his own tent sprouting in his sweatpants. How badly he'd like to rip those damn shorts off, sink himself into the heat that he's tasted on occasions. But this was fine, too, Nagi’s not a picky person when it comes to something simple like this ; he can overpower him if he wanted although he'd rather let this freak take the lead. Show him what he wanted— how he wanted it to be done. Low noises slipping through his lips, their bodies moved in sync, similar to the way they've practiced together. Rin's the darkness that Nagi wanted to be enshrouded in, falling into an abyss with tendrils wrapped around his throat. Keeping him right where the guy wanted. He does the bare minimum on thrusting upward into Rin's backside, dragging his clothed hard-on over the slit of his ass through his shorts.
“ Call me a liar, “ hands moved from those hips to the back of his ass, applying pressure on pulling Rin by the fabric of his briefs— until it practically tears— making him lie back onto the couch. Nice, sizable hole for him to fit his fingers into, or for him have a quicker access on fucking him. Who says Nagi couldn't do both eventually? He surely didn't miss the threat of a glare thrown in his directions, purposely wanted to tip him off his axis. Sometimes it's necessary to humble the beast that proclaimed it wants nothing to do with another creature that isn't remotely interesting.
Hypothetically.
" You're more of a liar than I am, " he retorts, taking hold of Rin's wrists so he wouldn't hit him ( that has happened by accident rather than with malicious intent. ), securing a vice grip. Nagi dips his head, lips brushing past the male's in a ghost of a kiss — inwardly pleased by the way Rin tries to follow his mouth, and tries to initiate a kiss in his favor. With every calculated shift of his hips, dragging his fully clothed dick over the makeshift hole, Nagi continued on speaking. Breath wafting over Rin's adams apple, a dance of confessions etching onto heated skin. " I think you're just in denial. About yourself, " his teeth drags over the flesh, tongue doing the same leaving a trail of saliva in its wake. " About us. About how you're — " feeling the same like me. wanting me just as bad.
Those words never leave his mouth, afraid that it'll throw everything off. Ruin it. Nagi inhales, exhales, channeling all those emotions he had simmered in his heart to pivot his hips languidly, enjoying each drag of bare skin hitting a clothed crotch.
" ... Rin, " ah, there it was — the pathetic side of him that was hidden the whole time. “ I want to hear it. I want you to… say my name. “
@bvz1rd
