The boy’s dedushka—poorer yet another pawned possession—grows somber over the wire-thin wheel of his Zhiguli. His hooded eyes look heavier, grayer, their severity ever-growing. A once lively blue sheen within them dies, fatigued to silver over the passing road, and those familiar lines which form thoughtful creeks and valleys to flow grandfatherly thoughts across his forehead seem now deepened to canyons: rumpled, furrowed beds of tumbling dread.
The drive home from the city lock-up has grown routine. The dedushka drives like his age, rolling a reasonable speed down the highway to rural nowhere—an unmarked path of snow save for skids of gray where other tires have rolled before—while the boy sits humbled in the passenger seat and says his usual sorries. Dedushka, who at this point in the drive would normally have offered a few deluded words of forgiveness and certainty about the boy’s innocence, says nothing.
Their noses stay cold while their boots warm in the max-blast of the drafty Vaz-2101’s heat. Permanent polar dusk hangs the sky midnight sea-blue overhead: a lightless ultramarine that soaks into snow, rendering the winter scene around them an abyss of blue. Mountains rise and fall on either side of the sturdy old car (whose Lada-factory himmelblau also blends right in), their peaks indistinguishable from sky. The lonely Murmansk Oblast highway—its asphalt brittle with subzero cracks, scabbed over with quick-fix tar adhering the scabbed patches of scaly concrete, pale and salty and fractured—takes on this same color of undersea nothing. Only the fiery gold of the Vaz’s headlights and the far-off glow of another car’s tail lights (which disappear in a blink now over the winding road, red ghosts retiring from their haunt of the cold night) offer any splash of color to the arctic landscape. Another quarter hour passes before finally a growing treeline rises to separate snow from sky: its green dulled to lightless black, the heads of spruces forked and horned, rising proud to border endless night.
The Vaz roars slatted, dusty heat at its passengers—the meager byproducts of its overworked engine—and though it struggles to make their slice of cabin space any warmer as they rocket through subzero tundra, it easily fills the air between the boy and his grandfather with an odd, buffering tension. A disquieting tension, specially produced by inanimate objects who noisily carry on their purpose in the face of those momentous and traumatic peaks of human experience. Deaf and steady, no matter the social context nor the emotional climate around them—these things belonging of course to the abstract tangles of feeling, territory of a dark jungle existing only on an unseen plane, and as such fully impossible for the copper radiators of Soviet-era Vaz-2101 compact sedan Zhiguli’s to gauge. Ghostly broadcasts from the realm of the unsaid. And even in the human animal who both creates and occupies this realm—one foot in the material, the other in the immaterial—it is a peripheral place of shadow, slippery, fleeting, dodging and scurrying away whenever one looks for it, and its existence, if not doubted and dismissed by its creators altogether, is at the very least ignored.
And so the heat roars while the boy tries once more to tell his dedushka he's sorry, forcing him to come out with the words much louder than feels appropriate. “I didn’t mean to get in trouble again,” he says. He balks after that, nearly shuts up, but something in him finds the nerve: He asks Dedushka what he had to give up to pay the cost of bail.
The question sits naked and profane between them. A lewd thing, a sacrilege making mud of their now beaten-path pilgrimage from the dirty claws of the city ports back to the unsullied snow of the forest cabin. His dedushka, stormy in the mouth and eyes, shakes his head.
The boy pushes luck further: “I’ll pay you back,” he says.
His dedushka Volodya, who ran his usual rounds this morning assuring everyone who’d heard the gossip that there was some sort of misunderstanding, that his grandson was a good boy with bad luck, that he was an innocent fallen into the clutches of trouble, that he had to do whatever it took to get the boy out of jail, says now, “Whose money would you put in my hand?”
The boy knows not to answer. He doesn't know the answer anyway.
“Whose blood would I find on it?”
The incorrigible boy, who has always seemed to know nothing of law and order, of conscience and scruples, whose destructive spirit seems to his dedushka to hold the beastly innocence of a wild pup who mauls a smaller creature—a neighbor’s pet—and returns, tail wagging, with blood on his maw and limp carcass in his teeth, is once again shamed to silence by that lone hallowed star of his life: his grandfather’s disapproval.
And that’s the problem, isn’t it?
He’s sorry to have disappointed his dedushka, and he means just that.
The boy is sorry to have fallen out of his favor, but he’s not sorry for what he’s done. Like Kazak and Tsaritsa and Jezebel, who know that pissing in the house incurs their master’s wrath, the boy doesn’t see the why of it.
Dedushka, who has never seemed quite this angry with him before, offers a final warning: that the boy shouldn’t tell his babushka of any of this, lest he strain her heart to its early grave. Grigori Rasputin. And a Solonik on top of it. “What did your mother expect? You’ve all the good sense of your namesake!” A disgraced mystic con man, and the boy's drunken wretch of a father. He can’t decide if his daughter is a fool who doomed her son with such a name, or a clairvoyant who merely assigned him the most appropriate title. (His mother, were she there in the car to defend herself, might explain that the boy--who was born on the feast day of Saint Gregory--had all throughout her pregnancy announced himself through many a kick as a hellraising little rasputnik, and once she finally held the newborn in her arms and saw for the first time those hypnotic green eyes, she knew there was simply no other name for him. Furthermore, she found it harmlessly amusing to tell her rambunctious little Grigori Rasputin what a lady’s man he would grow up to be.) “At the docks again, consorting with vory. You didn’t mean to get in trouble? Smugglers and black marketeers? Grebenschikov? Sturgeon?”
Grigori, who perhaps has more than a foot in the immaterial, struggles as always to see the forest for the trees. Though he has been able to solve calculus equations in his head, diagram the syllogisms inherent in French existentialist philosophy, recall every historical date ever mentioned to him, and monthly earn fluency in new languages since before all his baby teeth fell out, the complex thoughts and feelings of others—especially those rooted in material concerns like safety, practicality, tribal instinct—are to him impenetrable. And so he means just what he says when he answers his grandfather: “I wanted to see what they looked like...”
There’s nothing more to say. The boy doesn’t get it. Dedushka offers one last head-shaking remark, more to the universe than to Grigori: “You were almost called Nikolai.”
He has an answer for his grandfather, but he keeps it in his head: Perhaps then I’d be a passion-bearer shot in a basement…
The remainder of the drive passes without a word, Grigori shamed and droopy and window-gazing. He doesn't know how to make things right. The clunky Vaz, its noisy heat, its rubbish brakes, and the unyielding highway rush of winter air on its boxy frame supply the rest of the drive’s soundtrack. Paved highway eventually tapers to snow-cased dirt path, and the woods grow thick and cluster tameless along the road. Trees crowd in chess formation: At the front lines stand the straight, thorny stalks of dead birch. Their branches fork like wooden lightning, joining hands to fence themselves as pawns along the perimeter. Beyond them the proud evergreens—thick, impenetrable, immovable pine and spruce—stand together. They shroud their forest under cover of darkness. Their king, their queen, wherever they are, cannot be seen or found. And when civilization is out of sight, when pointed trees consume the world and the road is lost to forest and snow, the boy and his grandfather drive through this darkness wherever the Vaz will fit, forging their own path.
Eventually, the woods thin. At the forest’s heart a clearing emerges: night-soaked snow pricked by the blurred sunburst arms of distant light. Cabin windows—gold bars whose value soars beyond measure in the wilderness—peak through the trees, and soon they find themselves rolling up to Dedushka and Babushka's house, glowing safe and warm in its snowy clearing through the forest.
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