defenseless

Luhan, 20, stoner, gay. The hardest part of breathing is just taking breaths to stay. Closed RP; not the real Luhan

[bwxxxluhan]

EPILOGUE

Well, it seemed as Luhan's life was just shattering down piece by piece. His treatment wasn't working at all, and his addictions were starting to get worse with every day. It was starting to ruin his life, and what brought him happiness once no longer existed.

Drugs didn't make him happy anymore. Nothing made him really happy at all, in fact. He knew he had developed a habit, and he knew he had to get rid of it before it took away his own life.

So, with all the guts he had, he grabbed his cellphone and dialed his parents home number, and said what were probably the hardest words he had ever said before:

"I need help."

And so, with this said and without much explanations needed, his parents were quick to buy him a plane ticket back to China, where he'd be taken care of and treated correctly. There was a taxi waiting right outside the gates of the school that once was crowded with different people from all kinds of places, but that now seemed empty.

Was that all in his head? The idea of people running through the field, laughing and playing around? Were the love affairs, the friends, the meetings, and the walks out of school just another creation of his lonely brain? He wasn't sure, but whether those things happened or not, he enjoyed them more than anything else.

He made friends, he discovered places, he tried out different foods, candies, drugs, and drinks. He had a crush with a person, and it wasn't unrequited. He laughed, he cried. 

He lived. And for that, he'd always be thankful to Bullworth.

So, with his bags on his hands and a taxi cab waiting for him right outside the school, he decided that this was just another chapter of his life. Probably the happiest chapter, probably the realest chapter. Probably the best chapter of all so far.

With his body inside the cap already, he looked out the window and asked the taxi to wait just a minute, as a sad smile curled his lips and his nose started to sting. Tears soon fell down his face, and he wasn't sure if they were of happiness or sadness.

"We'll meet again, for sure," he whispered and closed his eyes, leaning his back against the car and quietly telling the taxi driver they could get going now. He didn't want to see the building slowly turning smaller as they drove down the street, but still he did.

His heart clinging onto the wish of meeting with all of his friends in the future again.

Until next time, Bullshit.

so that's like the cheesiest thing i've ever written oops.

idk if there's still anyone here that will read this, but in case there is, i love you♥

the places where you can reach me are on the oocblog, hopefully we will meet in the future ♥

doing a stoner luhan was amazing, and i hope you guys liked him too.

much love and until the next time!

[bwxxxluhan]

Three days. 

It has been three days since the last time Luhan had stepped out of his bedroom-- Or out of his bed, actually.

He hadn't slept, either. 

The only thing in his stomach were pills. Nothing but pills, and he was doing quite well like that. Not thinking about anything or anyone, not feeling anything, not listening to anything nor seeing anything but the white of his roof.

He was too weak to move by the third day. In fact, he didn't move at all. He didn't even roll on his bed. He just remained there, lying on his back, staring at the roof. Just like a vegetable would.

The room was so quiet he could hear the sound of his heart beating on his chest right on his ears, but he managed to ignore that sound after the second day was over.

He couldn't even move his arm towards his chest because of how weak he was feeling, but he could actually say he was happy.

Hungry, sad, and lonely.

But happy.

It was a weird happiness; it was the kind of happiness that makes you feel bad about yourself. He knew he had to get out his room, he knew he had to breathe in the fresh, cold air of January. He knew he had to do that, but he was not strong enough to do it.

He'd been alone for so long, and he knew it would take him a couple of more days to be able to stand up and possibly crawl out of his room and into the kitchen and probably eat like a madman.

But still, though,

he was happy.

[sarajongin-deactivated20140610]

[bwxxxluhan]

Journal XVII

January 11, 2013

The fuck have I done in the past couple of days?

Uhm...

Really tho....

What the fuck....

[nomnomworld]

[josieloveskpop-deactivated20140]

[minquga-deactivated20200124]

[fylu-han]

ROFL (≧◡≦)

[bwxxxluhan]

Journal XI

January 3, 2014

My way of loving you sucks.

It's funny, and it makes me sad at the same time.

Love is nonsense and yet is the only thing that makes sense to us.

I miss you. Ha.

[bwxbaek-deactivated20140328]

Luhan's eyes spotted a small man with brown, soft-looking hair and sharp eyes with some eyeliner on. He tilted his head to the side while staring at him before finally walking towards him in order to introduce himself. "Hello," he quickly said, a small smile curling the corner of his lips up. "My name is Luhan, yeah. What's your name, ah? You're very pretty-- Oh, I like your eyes. Did you do your makeup? It's really good, yeah. I'm Luhan-- Uh-- Yeah, hello," he quickly mumbled under his breath.

Baekhyun raised an eyebrow as the boy in front of him spurt out words, his blush tinted lips curling into a small teasing smirk, “Luhan huh?” He asked with a chuckle. He found the boy amusing, Baek figured the guy was either high or just really nervous, “Aren’t you a Casanova, complimenting me so quickly. Ya, I did it by myself, maybe you’ll let me put some under your pretty eyes.” He whispered softly, his dark eyes flicking with amusement. “You can call me Baekhyun, it’s so very lovely to meet you Luhan.” He said in a teasing manner.

[bwxbaek-deactivated20140328]

Baekhyun was panting and moaning crazily at the slow and painfully blissful movement of Luhan’s hand. It was so slow and painful, but at the same time left Baek a trembling and needy mess. He pumped Luhan’s shaft faster with quick tugs of his wrist, the boxers restricting his movements. He bit down harder into Luhan’s neck as the speed on his length picked up. His head was spinning and his cock was throbbing, Baekhyun was about ready to explode from everything.

In frustration he tugged down Luhan’s boxers enough to free his member out of the confines of the fabric. He bucked his hips more as he pumped even faster on Luhan’s cock. “Luh-han.” He stuttered and arched his back. “I-I want more.” He gasped and whined. It took Baekhyun a moment to try and regain himself before he rolled them around. He pinned Luhan into the mattress and pressed sloppy kisses down his torso. He nipped at the other’s hip bones and flicked his eyes up as he went further down. Baek ran his tongue up the elder’s thigh right to the junction of his hip and legs.

[bwxxxluhan]

Luhan gasped quietly, taking one of his hands to his mouth and trying to keep his soft moans from coming out. He closed his eyes for a moment, feeling Baekhyun's mouth wander through his chest and down to his belly, leaving small bites and long licks through his burning skin. He pulled his own hand away, and opened his eyes just a bit so that he could see Baekhyun licking his thigh. He let out a shaky moan, enjoying how weak and trembling his own body felt under Baekhyun's magical lips. "Me, t-too," he said quietly, his cheeks burning just as much as his entire body, his world disappearing from a moment only to be replaced by Baekhyun and by how amazing he felt.

[xxbwxjongdae]

☁ stuck like glue — luhan + jongdae ;

[xxbwxjongdae]

Their arms swung back and forth, and Jongdae could only imagine what this looked like from a third party’s point of view. Still, he couldn’t muster enough heart to pull his hand away, so he let it slide, focusing more on trying to cool himself down from the show that he was thrust into. The other reiterated himself, this time laughing in between his comments. Cold eyes glared at the other before softening, gazing at Luhan’s amusement in the subject. “You’re strange,” Jongdae bluntly stated, shoving his free hand in his pocket.

In the back of his mind, Jongdae made snark remarks about the scene, but the cat had caught his tongue. Truth be told, he did enjoy the episode a little bit, it was sort of cute, in a way. His friend had enjoyed himself, and it seemed as if he was still sort of enjoying it—it was almost cute. Wait, what? No, no, that’s not happening. Quickly, Jongdae shook the thought from his mind and looked around at the new habitat they had entered. Monkeys, disgusting.

With the other’s teasing, a smile warmed Jongdae’s cheeks, and a snort sounded from his nose. “If you say that I look like a monkey again,” he threatened, shifting his stare as the other started looking up, “I’m going to drop you in the ostrich exhibit, and you’ll be stuck forever.” His smile faded, and he watched the animals behind the glass. Boring creatures, they were; all they did was sit around and eat. When they didn’t eat or sit, they pooped—once that was over with, they threw the poop at one another. And the cycle continued. “I smell better than a monkey,” he muttered unconsciously to himself.

[bwxxxluhan]

Luhan tilted his head at the other's threat, letting a small chuckle leave his lips. "But, Jongdae~ Ostrichshszhshs are amazing!" He said, turning around to face the other with wide eyes filled with awe over the thought of those weird looking birds. "They are dinosaurs with feathers!" He continued, a wide smile spreading through his lips. He then turned around again to face the tiny monkeys, his head still racing over the thought of the ostrich. "I think you need to re-think your threat," he said with a small nodd.

He laughed at the other's last comment, and leaned forward towards Jongdae, sniffing a little before pulling away. He made a face and coughed, his free hand going up to cover his mouth and nose. "Are you sure about that?" He asked teasingly, hiding the smirk on his lips with his hand. He took a deep breath and pulled his hand away, his smirk was now replaced with a small pout as he pressed his forehead against the window of the exhibit.

Some monkeys apparently got aware of their prescence, since they were the only people at the monkey exhibit at that time, and slowly started to make their way towards the glass. The two monkeys stood in front of the two friends, and started to run around with their hands in the sky.

"Jongdae! They recognized you!" Luhan said teasingly in between laughs as the two monkeys seemed to be doing some kind of primitive dance. "See! They're trying to get you home!" He said, laughing really hard at his friend's expression. He bent down, laughing and gasping as he tried to catch his breath. "This is... Beautiful... It's the reunion..." He said, a small tear rolling down his cheek due to his laughter.

[bwxxxluhan]

offline

so 

i only had like three hours of sleep today bc my family went insane last night and then my cousin came home at like 5 am and we played videogames until 9 am and then we fell asleep but my mom woke me up at like 1 bc we had to go to my grandma's place and eat there

so i literally had like three hours of sleep

and im about to pass out

i really dont know what im doing anymore so yeah

goo dnight

see you guys tomorrow

[bwxbaek-deactivated20140328]

Luhan's eyes spotted a small man with brown, soft-looking hair and sharp eyes with some eyeliner on. He tilted his head to the side while staring at him before finally walking towards him in order to introduce himself. "Hello," he quickly said, a small smile curling the corner of his lips up. "My name is Luhan, yeah. What's your name, ah? You're very pretty-- Oh, I like your eyes. Did you do your makeup? It's really good, yeah. I'm Luhan-- Uh-- Yeah, hello," he quickly mumbled under his breath.

Baekhyun raised an eyebrow as the boy in front of him spurt out words, his blush tinted lips curling into a small teasing smirk, “Luhan huh?” He asked with a chuckle. He found the boy amusing, Baek figured the guy was either high or just really nervous, “Aren’t you a Casanova, complimenting me so quickly. Ya, I did it by myself, maybe you’ll let me put some under your pretty eyes.” He whispered softly, his dark eyes flicking with amusement. “You can call me Baekhyun, it’s so very lovely to meet you Luhan.” He said in a teasing manner.

[bwxbaek-deactivated20140328]

-

Baekhyun gasped in relief when he felt cool air hit his arching cock. He felt so much better, his member finally free of those constricting boxers. He fingers inside Luhan’s pants began to rub harder as the other rubbed his with his thumb. Baek moaned weakly as a soft hand wrapped around his length and began to pump him. The teasing was nearly killing him as he bucked his hips into Luhan’s hand for more friction. He shuffled his legs a bit to kick off his boxers and began to shove down the elder’s as his thin fingers stroked faster.

"….so good." He mumbled and let out a soft shaky moan. when he finally managed to get Luhan’s pants around his ankles Baek moved his hand and slipped it into the other’s boxers. His slender and hot fingers wrapped around the member and gave it a soft squeeze before he moved his hand in one teasing stroke.

[bwxxxluhan]

Luhan whimpered at the way the other was teasing him, but he decidedv to play the same game. He gave Baekhyun’s member a soft squeeze before giving it one slow stroke, that would have probably felt like a gentle caress since he wasn’t adding any pressure on it. He leaned forward to lick down Baekhyun’s neck until he reached his crook of the neck, and he bited it gently, leaving a small mark in it. Since he couldn’t stand the teasing game, he started to pump Baekhyun’s shaft faster, his fingers rolling over the slit and then gently squeezing the bottom of the younger’s member. He purred softly before going up to Baekhyun’s ear and moaning softly against it. “Baekhyun,” he moaned his name before grazing his earlobe, small pants leaving his lips.

[bwxbaek-deactivated20140328]

Luhan's eyes spotted a small man with brown, soft-looking hair and sharp eyes with some eyeliner on. He tilted his head to the side while staring at him before finally walking towards him in order to introduce himself. "Hello," he quickly said, a small smile curling the corner of his lips up. "My name is Luhan, yeah. What's your name, ah? You're very pretty-- Oh, I like your eyes. Did you do your makeup? It's really good, yeah. I'm Luhan-- Uh-- Yeah, hello," he quickly mumbled under his breath.

Baekhyun raised an eyebrow as the boy in front of him spurt out words, his blush tinted lips curling into a small teasing smirk, “Luhan huh?” He asked with a chuckle. He found the boy amusing, Baek figured the guy was either high or just really nervous, “Aren’t you a Casanova, complimenting me so quickly. Ya, I did it by myself, maybe you’ll let me put some under your pretty eyes.” He whispered softly, his dark eyes flicking with amusement. “You can call me Baekhyun, it’s so very lovely to meet you Luhan.” He said in a teasing manner.

[bwxbaek-deactivated20140328]

Baekhyun threw his head back as the grinding got slower and harder, his body trembling with need for more. He wrapped his milky legs around Luhan’s hips and grinded up into the other boy even harder. “Please, more.” Were the only coherent words Baek could form in that moment. His hands quickly moved down and began undoing to button and zipper to Luhan’s pants. After he got then open he let one hand slowly slither into them and stroked the older’s member through his boxers.

Baekhyun felt like his mind was spinning and his hips were pushing up in a hot need for more than just friction. He moved his lips down a bit the bite and suck Luhan’s neck a little harder than he had before, this time his lips leaving light red marks all over the pale smooth skin.

[bwxxxluhan]

Luhan's head rolled back as he was hit by a wave of pleasure when Baekhyun's hand wrapped around his aching member. His hands went down Baekhyun's back, his nails leaving some thin red lines as he was pressing them against the smooth skin of the younger's back. His hands went down until they met with the elastic of Baekhyun's boxers, and sliding his hands inside of them, he managed to lift Baekhyun enough to take slide them off until his upper knees, finally freeing Baekhyun's member. He pressed his thumb over the tip of Baekhyun's member, slowly moving it in circles before wrapping his entire hand around the length and starting to pump it slowly and teasingly. He moaned softly, his teeth chewing on his own lower lip.

[bwxbaek-deactivated20140328]

Luhan's eyes spotted a small man with brown, soft-looking hair and sharp eyes with some eyeliner on. He tilted his head to the side while staring at him before finally walking towards him in order to introduce himself. "Hello," he quickly said, a small smile curling the corner of his lips up. "My name is Luhan, yeah. What's your name, ah? You're very pretty-- Oh, I like your eyes. Did you do your makeup? It's really good, yeah. I'm Luhan-- Uh-- Yeah, hello," he quickly mumbled under his breath.

Baekhyun raised an eyebrow as the boy in front of him spurt out words, his blush tinted lips curling into a small teasing smirk, “Luhan huh?” He asked with a chuckle. He found the boy amusing, Baek figured the guy was either high or just really nervous, “Aren’t you a Casanova, complimenting me so quickly. Ya, I did it by myself, maybe you’ll let me put some under your pretty eyes.” He whispered softly, his dark eyes flicking with amusement. “You can call me Baekhyun, it’s so very lovely to meet you Luhan.” He said in a teasing manner.

[bwxbaek-deactivated20140328]

Baekhyun licked his lips nervously with a lazy grin as they were rolled over. He was about ready to just rip the damn pants off himself but he kept still like a good boy as Luhan took off his pants. He expected the other boy to take his boxers off as well but was disappointed when he left that article of clothing on. He whined and pouted but was a little thrown off as Luhan began to roll his hips. His member was only growing harder with the quick friction, a string of moans passing Baek’s lips as his lap was abused. “Lulu please.” He whined needily, hands moving up to pull the other down. He attacked Luhan’s lips with his in desperate and needy kisses, teeth biting into the other’s lower lip as Baek let out an impatient growl. He moved his lips to trail hard kisses down his neck all the way to his ear. “Please kitty please.” He breathed, Baek’s hot breath fanning down Luhan’s neck before he sucked on the older’s ear lobe.

[bwxxxluhan]

Luhan moaned softly once Baekhyun's lips left his, his head tilting to the side so that Baekhyun had more access to do whatever the hell he felt like doing. He was panting, his hips still grinding against Baekhyun's, only that this time a little bit slower yet harsher. He wrapped both arms around Baekhyun's neck and gasped quietly, his eyes closed and lips parted. "P-Please... What?" He asked, feeling shivers going down his spine and causing his entire body to tremble regardless of how hot his body was. He bit his lip and moaned once more, each one of his weak spots being way much more sensitive now.

[bwxbaek-deactivated20140328]

Luhan's eyes spotted a small man with brown, soft-looking hair and sharp eyes with some eyeliner on. He tilted his head to the side while staring at him before finally walking towards him in order to introduce himself. "Hello," he quickly said, a small smile curling the corner of his lips up. "My name is Luhan, yeah. What's your name, ah? You're very pretty-- Oh, I like your eyes. Did you do your makeup? It's really good, yeah. I'm Luhan-- Uh-- Yeah, hello," he quickly mumbled under his breath.

Baekhyun raised an eyebrow as the boy in front of him spurt out words, his blush tinted lips curling into a small teasing smirk, “Luhan huh?” He asked with a chuckle. He found the boy amusing, Baek figured the guy was either high or just really nervous, “Aren’t you a Casanova, complimenting me so quickly. Ya, I did it by myself, maybe you’ll let me put some under your pretty eyes.” He whispered softly, his dark eyes flicking with amusement. “You can call me Baekhyun, it’s so very lovely to meet you Luhan.” He said in a teasing manner.

[bwxbaek-deactivated20140328]

Baekhyun was very content with playing with Luhan’s nipples and teasing him until he felt the older roll their hips together again. His sensitive member in his pants was already half hard just from all of the foreplay the two of them had been doing, and the grinding was making it any better. Baek gasped and mewled, his hips eagerly grinding back for more. “Lulu my pants are so tight, its so hot Lulu.” He whined with flushed cheeks. He could feel his chocolate hair sticking to his forehead from the sweat that seemed to just keep on building.

Baek moved his slender fingers to the edge of his pants and began to tug and try to get them off with soft whimpers passing his lips while he bit his lip. “Help me pweaasee kitty.” He asked in a baby voice, eyes looked up big pleading and rolling his hips down into Luhan’s.

[bwxxxluhan]

Luhan moaned quietly and flipped them over again so that he was now on top of Baekhyun just like before. His cheeks were in a dark red color, his lips were somewhat swollen and his eyes were half-opened. His hands quickly ran down to undo Baekhyun's button and unzip his pants down. He barely ripped the pants off his skin, but instead he controlled himself and removed them just like any other human being would. He left him with his underwear one just to tease him a little bit more, and he sat down on Baekhyun's lap, his legs on each side of Baekhyun's hips. He pressed the palms of his hands on Baekhyun's chest, right on top of his nipples, and started to roll his own hips over Baekhyun's clothed member. He moaned quietly, rolling his hips in circles and enjoying the friction.

[bwxbaek-deactivated20140328]

Luhan's eyes spotted a small man with brown, soft-looking hair and sharp eyes with some eyeliner on. He tilted his head to the side while staring at him before finally walking towards him in order to introduce himself. "Hello," he quickly said, a small smile curling the corner of his lips up. "My name is Luhan, yeah. What's your name, ah? You're very pretty-- Oh, I like your eyes. Did you do your makeup? It's really good, yeah. I'm Luhan-- Uh-- Yeah, hello," he quickly mumbled under his breath.

Baekhyun raised an eyebrow as the boy in front of him spurt out words, his blush tinted lips curling into a small teasing smirk, “Luhan huh?” He asked with a chuckle. He found the boy amusing, Baek figured the guy was either high or just really nervous, “Aren’t you a Casanova, complimenting me so quickly. Ya, I did it by myself, maybe you’ll let me put some under your pretty eyes.” He whispered softly, his dark eyes flicking with amusement. “You can call me Baekhyun, it’s so very lovely to meet you Luhan.” He said in a teasing manner.

[bwxbaek-deactivated20140328]

Baekhyun loved the little noises that filled his ears as he played with Luhan. He liked to tease, Baek had always been known to teasing to the point of tears, but right now he wasnt in his right mind enough to have that kind of patience. He let his tongue swipe over the pink nipples before sucking one. He growled when he felt the other grind their hips together slowly, the teasing move only making Baek’s member get a small amount of friction that had him stiffen. “Bad kitten.” He mumbled before nipping Luhan’s nipple. He rolled it between his teeth and tugged at it playfully while hands slid even farther down. Baek’s thin hands rubbed down the other boy’s upper thighs and slightly grazed his crotch. He grinned against Luhan’s skin and looked up with big innocent eyes.

[bwxxxluhan]

Luhan chuckled a moan as the other played with his nipples. He tilted his head back and his back arched a little, the feeling of Baekhyun's mouth on his sensitive nipples, then his hands caressing his thigh and ghosting over his crotch. A shaky moan left his lips, his chest heaving as he panted quietly; his entire body was now wrapped around a wave of heatness that was making him dizzier than before. He lifted his hips up one again for their crotches to be pressed against the other, and he grinded them together with slow rolls of hips. He took one of his hands down Baekhyun's back, his fingernails gently pressing against the skin as he made his way to Baekhyun's hips. "Baekhyun..." He moaned against Baekhyun's ear before biting his earlobe and sighing in pleasure, his lips curved into a playful smirk.