christine lee

ephesians 2:8

[c--lee]

the contrast

here I am, 29, reading my old entries from college. a major theme I’m reflecting back on is that I was simply doing way too damn much. like I want to go back to my old self and tell her to take a chill pill lol. but i also can’t blame her because hyper-anxious me subconsciously knows that I wouldn’t be me now without being her back then. it’s actually bewildering to believe that i used to hustle that hard. now I literally can’t even get myself to have dinner with a friend during a weekday and microdecisions feel paralyzing (no exaggeration lol) 한가지 하는게 왤캐 힘들어졌지 ㅎㅎ 내가 게으러진건가 아님 정신병 든건가. 사실 정답은.... 둘 다 입니다 *_*

2022 -- what the actual hell was this year

[c--lee]

05.01.20

I guess I pressed fast forward. It’s been 2 years since my last tumblr post

a blip in time – what even happened? our childhood home was foreclosed. my grandpa had a stroke. i got married. max passed away. the world is in quarantine. what else?

it’s strange, what time can do. memories will become faint, priorities will change, and life will not stand still for anyone. relish the moments and people you have.

, but still hold on to believing that better days are yet to come.

[c--lee]

how did this happen – 2018 is over

[c--lee]

six memories that you really miss.

1. sleeping in a queen bed with both my sisters + max, our sweet dog 2. post-school meals my mom would have prepared for us when we got home 3. hot. summer. socal. nights 4. walking to my morning classes while breathing in the crisp, quiet air 5. living with all of my best friends. was that a dream? 6. eagerly waiting for my grandpa every Sunday to drop off goodies (korean crackers, candy, fruits, scooters, games, etc. everything.)

[wnq-writers]

I wish I wasn’t such a dreamer. I’ve ruined this life for myself.

N.M.Sanchez (via wnq-writers)

[birdasaurus]

Sienne

[c--lee]

How much of my mother has my mother left in me? How much of my love will be insane to some degree? And what about this feeling that I'm never good enough? Will it wash out in the water, or is it always in the blood?

[c--lee]

so young and full of running, all the way to the edge of desire

steady my breathing, silently screaming,

“I have to have you now”

[yasminchoni-deactivated20160304]

[c--lee]

job application: describe your most recent leadership role

me: sometimes at crosswalks i'm the first one to start jaywalking and everyone follows me

[c--lee]

seven things that have been crossing your mind a lot

1. tmobile was a bad decision. why did verizon have to come out w/ an unlimited plan LITERALLY the day after I signed w/ tmobile. ugh, annoying

2. so far it doesn’t look like I’ll be having beautiful half white/half korean children, but that’s ok -- I’ve come to terms with it

3. oh dear self, it’s okay to be sad. I’ve been effortful in letting myself just be sad if I am sad. I’ve learned that I never let myself fully be sad. instead, I channel sadness into anger and bitterness because that’s how you stay strong and don’t let anyone hurt your feelings

4. this millennial christian “worrying about what my calling is” thing feels like such a privileged problem. my parents/grandparents never had the opportunity, time, or luxury to explore their passions or calling. rather, they were thankful for all that God was doing in their present lives and moved in faith through the doors God opened and closed. still working out this thought.

5. people who actually follow their dreams are always criticized and seen as weird. mad respect for those people who defy the status quo. normal is BORING -- you do you

6. honest question: I wonder if white people don’t get sick of bread just like I don’t get sick of rice

7. what a friend I have in Jesus. let me tell you what a great friend he is. the roads have been bumpy and I can’t even find words to surface them in prayer -- but he’s been my best, best friend and I know he hears the silence of my heart and I am comforted

[c--lee]

I wonder what it’s like to live with such crazy, stupid faith. I want that.

[the-devil-wears-zara]

[c--lee]

02.14.17

I think this year, Sean and I both thought we grew out of celebrating Valentine’s Day and so we didn’t make any plans. No dinner, no nothing. Around 11am this morning, he called me and said, “You know what.. I think it would be really sad if I didn’t get to see you today. I’ll come over tonight.” 

-backtrack a little bit-

for several months, after researching and debating, I was finally set on getting a little cavapoo pup (cavalier spaniel + poodle mix). I felt like I was financially and emotionally ready, and committed to being a responsible dog mother. I even picked out which one in the litter I was taking home. he was perfect. however, this past sunday, at the 11th hour, I didn’t end up taking him home.. and I’ve been pretty down about it since.

-back to the present-

today when sean came over, he greeted me at the door with an enormous bouquet and under his arms were 2 adorable stuffed animal dogs. i cried because he quite literally got me what I wanted: dogs. not just one, but two and it was the sweetest thing ever. we then laughed about it for a bit, ate our UberEats order, and turned on How I Met Your Mother. I don’t think today could have been any more perfect.

[lauryncravens-deactivated202007]

[c--lee]

career moment

one of my projects at work was to completely revamp and redesign our email strategy. this took me about 4 months to execute and deliver 3 different types of emails. from creative, product management, ux, engineering, legal, email marketing, etc it required heavy lifting from multiple departments and intense project management.

today, my boss invited me to a meeting with our executive vice president (her boss is benioff) to show her what’s launching next week in our new fiscal year. she completely flipped out. she loved it so much that she said “i love you” to me. HAHA i’m just happy she knows my name now!

!!! yay 

[tamper]