Tonight's talk with Jeremy was just too much. We talked about everything; life, plans, future, past & many more. To be honest, I haven't had a deep conversation in the longest with someone like that. I just let everything out. I let him know everything about me and who I am and how much I've changed since my past relationships.
Since it's your first for everything, I promise I won't fuck anything up because I don't want to ever be the reason why you'll be scared to love again. But if you choose to let go, I'll understand, I'll let you explore your options.
Considering the fact that my exes were all bad (smoking, players, etc.) , you're different. Our love is like a switched around love story. When a girl would chase after the bad boy than the good guy, but in our situation, you're the girl and I'm the player. In my terms, I'm satisfied. I chose you over a pothead, you must be special. Then again, I'm iffy about this situation in your terms. I'm the player, smoker, drinker, etc. It's as if there's someone better than could be in the spot I'm at. But the thing is, most of the time, girls go after the bad guy because they have a place in their heart that thinks they change change the "bad guy" figure. The guy ends up being the same anyways, but anyways...... I'm not that bad guy. Well, not anymore. You changed who I am now and you're not even officially mine yet. I dropped all the guys, all the drugs/ cigs, all the drinks, etc. just to be the better person you want me to be & it's helped me alot.
I'm happy to have you in my life. None of the guys I've been with ever made me feel the way you make me feel. I love how things are going slow. It's as if you were my first boyfriend all over again, that's how I feel. No types of sexual things going on, just me and you talking about what's going on in our lives and talking about our future plans.
The fact that you're in the same grade as me makes me feel like I'm actually settling down. Finally, I found the right guy in the whole entire world for me. Someone I'm willing to be with for years instead of that bullshit 6 month bullshit. I promise I'll do anything to keep our relationship going. All of this is just a first to me. I've never tried to get at someone like you. I think my heart AND mind is telling me that it's time to settle down with one person, you.
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