You’ll want to stay alive for your pets, for snow ball fights, for hot chocolate on cold days (or tea or coffee, which ever you like best), for inside jokes, for friends you haven’t met yet, for places you haven’t visited yet, for bands and artists you love but haven’t seen yet, for those kids with special needs that need you and enjoy your company, for the animals you haven’t saved, for the day you can get out of that town and away from these people, for the kids you haven’t had yet, for teaching your first born kid to drive, you can’t even legally drive yet so for when you can legally drive, for when you can legally drink, for when you’re legal adult, for when you’re free, for making little kids smile, for oceans you haven’t swam in, for adventures you haven’t gone on, for roasting marshmallows and setting them on fire, for warm blankets fresh from the dryer, for playing in the rain, for every new year when you feel like you have a new start, for every morning you wake up in a good mood, for every day you laugh at something small, for every person you made laugh, for all the dogs you’ve made really excited when you play with them, for songs that instantly make you feel better. Soft cozy socks. Lyrics that put your feelings that you want express into words. Cute little ducks that eat bread from your hand. Doing better on tests than you thought you would. When the sky is really pretty colors it’s nice to be alive to see. Seeing baby birds fly. Baby pandas. Baby anything actually. Little kids that bring you a play phone they want you to answer. Little kids that like when you read with them. Really attractive people. Period. It’s just nice to be alive to look at them. Seeing something on the internet and realizing someone else feels the way you do. Videos on YouTube that make you laugh. And vines that make you laugh. And people that make you laugh. Laughing in general is nice. Those few people who kinda give a damn are nice too, like me. Cool shows you used to love when you were a kid that sometimes still make you smile. Things you used to love and seeing something that reminds you of it and feeling happy. Someday waking up and realizing you don’t hate yourself or your life anymore is pretty nice too. Shirts and socks that match. Finding old songs you forgot existed. Hearing someone say they miss you. Mango anything. Milkshakes. Jumping on trampolines with kids. Playing with kids and helping them do stuff. Opening a door, or reaching to a top shelf for someone in a wheelchair or an old person and knowing you just made their day. Strangers who smile at you. Meeting someone that you just click with. Road trips. Talking to old friends.
I could go on and on, but it doesn’t mean anything unless you choose that you want to be alive. Truth is, something has stopped you every single time you felt suicidal. It’s always you. I have pages of these, and the reasons just keep getting smaller and they become about things we hardly notice, but I think you should stay around for when your wounds heal. Mentally, emotionally, and physically. It’s going to get easier and someday you’re going to be glad you stayed around.
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