for you. | jackson - part one -
part two??? (lmk)
masterlist
words: 1,838 summary: superstar boyfriend jackson doesn’t take too kindly to your suggestion of giving up variety so he has more time for himself and for you.
a/n: hello, this is my first proper writing piece (on this blog since i gave up my 7k 5sos writing blog to start this one) in a while so i hope it’s not too bad for a first piece! also, if you liked it and think i should write a part two, do let me know, your support would mean everything, thank you!
reaching home at midnight had become a more regular practice as of late.
with jackson away all the time, you found taking up extra shifts - especially the closing shift, when it was all quiet and you got to take home pastries afterwards - a competent way of distracting yourself from missing your superstar boyfriend.
you couldn’t help but groan when you stepped into the hallway of the apartment you and jackson shared, pulling off your sneakers and freeing your toes from their canvas confines after a long day at the cafe.
another groan escaped your mouth as you set your bag down on the couch, falling backwards into the pile of cushions you insisted on having on there, just for that very reason.
you shut your eyes, too tired to force yourself up to shower and get ready for bed. your backpack poking into your side reminded you of the pile of work you had for the weekend and your face scrunched up as yet another groan slipped out of your mouth.
“is this what you do when i’m not here?”
your eyes flew open at the familiar voice and you looked up to see jackson leaning over the side of the couch, his fringe flopping over his eyes slightly, a raised eyebrow peeking through.
“jax!” you yelled, making him wince at the volume and pitch of your shocked shriek.
“jeez, i didn’t know we had a parrot.” he said, the side of his mouth quirked up in a playful smile.
you threw yourself over the side of the couch with energy you didn’t know you still had in you, wrapping your arms around your boyfriend’s - surprisingly - covered torso, hugging him tight.
his arms automatically found their place on your waist as he planted a sweet kiss on the top of your head.
“when did you get back? why are you back? how long are you staying?”
jackson laughed at your sudden bombardment of questions, pulling back from your hug to properly look at you.
as his eyes roamed your face, you suddenly became conscious of the amount of grease and smudged makeup that was the result of being out since eight in the morning without a chance to rest and touch up.
your hands flew from around him to cover your face. “oh god, the first time you see me in person in a while and its while i’m like this.” you said, your voice muffled by your hands.
gentle hands pried your own away from your face and jackson’s face appeared in front of you instead.
“you don’t have to worry about a thing. you look beautiful right now.” he said sweetly, making you smile involuntarily.
“besides, i’ve seen you dance and nothing you do to your face could be worse than that.” he added cheekily, yelling when your hand landed on his shoulder with a loud smack. he just couldn’t be romantic for more than a second.
both laughing, you let yourself be pushed into the bathroom, with jackson making annoying comments on how your hair smelled like cheese gone bad and your makeup looked like you smushed your face in cake.
succumbing to his ever-so-loving words, you showered as quickly as possible to get back out to him.
stepping out of the shower towel-drying your wet hair, you watched your boyfriend lean over his suitcase on the ground, fiddling with the piles of clothes he’d brought with him while filming one of the many variety shows he hosted in china.
as you turned to your dressing table, plugging in the hair dryer, you kept your eyes on him through the mirror. “you can unpack tomorrow, jax, go get ready for bed and we can cuddle and you can answer all my questions.”
his answer was drowned out by the hair dryer and you gestured for him to wait till you were done to tell you.
an hour later, you were both in bed, your head on his pillow, his elbow next to it, holding his head up as he talked about filming.
“ugh, i can’t tell you enough how happy i am that you’re back, the house has been way too quiet without your constant shouting.”
“it’s good to be home.” he responded, his hand reaching around your body to pull you closer to him.
as you pressed your face into his neck and inhaled deeply, an exciting thought flashed into your mind.
you gasped, your eyes widening in realisation. “since you’re back, we can go to the annual college carnival this sunday! i was going to pass on it since going to a carnival alone didn’t seem like much fun and everyone else is either working the carnival or staying home to rush work but you now you can come with me!”
when jackson’s face didn’t light up in excitement as you thought it would, your own smile fell. “what’s wrong?” you asked.
his eyes flittered around, looking everywhere but in your own. “i can’t go to the carnival. i’m leaving again tomorrow, (y/n). got7′s comeback in three weeks and we need to pre-record shows.”
the only word you managed to squeeze out of yourself was “oh.”
jackson sighed. “i’m sorry, i really am. i would’ve loved to go to the carnival with you.”
you managed a small smile, watching his sad eyes and increasingly pouty lips from sulking at not being able to stay long. “hey, it’s okay. they hold one every year so maybe next year you’ll be around to come with me.” you said, trying to reassure him.
jackson sighed once again, wrapping his hands around your body to pull you into him, resting his forehead on yours. “i’m really sorry for not being here enough, it’s just with the comeback nearing, schedule’s a lot more hectic in addition to the new show i’m hosting and i hardly have time for myself with all the flying back and forth and back and forth and i just-” he turned his body to push his face into a pillow and screamed in frustration.
in a second thought, he lifted his face from the pillow. “not that i don’t appreciate everything that i have. i love hosting shows and of course, got7 mean everything to me.”
“i get it, jax, you’re just tired right now, there’s no need to justify venting your frustration.” you said, running your hand along the back of head, through his hair, as he lay on his stomach, his face turned to look at you.
“when do you think you’ll stop it anyway?” you asked.
“stop what?”
“hosting.”
there was a brief moment of silence as jackson took in your words. “what do you mean stop hosting?” he asked, drawing back a little.
“like, stop doing all the variety shows you’re doing. now that got7′s huge and only getting bigger, you can’t juggle having got7 and hosting and a social life all at the same time.” you elaborated like it was the most obvious thing in the world.
which it was, to you, but had apparently never crossed jackson’s mind.
“i’m just saying, jax, i hardly see you anymore and when i do, it’s like this. short periods of time. i miss having you around.”
jackson sat up suddenly, much to your surprise. “so you’re telling me, that i should give up doing something i love, to be able to spend a bit more time with you?”
“you make it sound like it’s a bad thing.” you commented, not liking the accusing tone he was using.
“you’re asking me to give up my dream career to be able to take you on dates, doesn’t that sound unbelievable to you? you’re lucky i even come back home at all. do you know how hard it is living away from the rest of the boys? how much extra planning has to go into schedules because i’m not as easy to reach?” jackson was practically yelling at this point.
his words were unbelievable to you. “i’m lucky to have you for three to four days at a time with 2 to 3 months in between of not seeing you?” you sat up to be face-to-face with him, your voice rising as well. “i’m lucky to have never been on more than 4 proper dates with you even though we’ve been together almost two years?”
“you knew what you were getting into when we got together and you’ve been putting up with it for so long, why are you only complaining about this now?” he asked, a vein starting to show on his forehead, his face growing increasingly flushed in anger and frustration.
“i was trying to be supportive! but i was suffering, jackson. while you’re off touring the world or filming fun variety shows, i’m here! constantly waiting for you to get back! every time i think i don’t have to wait anymore to spend time with you, something else crops up and you rush to do it, without giving me a second thought.” jackson opened his mouth to protest but you continued. “when have you ever turned down a work thing for me, huh?”
you were aware of how selfish you sounded but as his girlfriend, you would have liked to have been chosen over work just once. you could imagine jackson saying: oh, actually, could we pass on this this time? i have to go home to see (y/n). of course, that was so far out of reach, even imagining it felt surreal.
jackson threw his hands in the air in disbelief. “do you hear yourself right now? oh, i’m so sorry i can’t just drop my entire career to fly home to be at your beck and call.”
it was your turn to scream in frustration. you could hardly believe the person in front of you was the same lovable, hyperactive jackson wang everyone else saw, the same one you fell in love with a couple years ago.
“i am not asking you to drop everything for me, i never asked you to drop everything for me. i-”
“good, because i won’t. not for you.”
his words struck you hard. they made it seem as if you weren’t worth it and all your insecurities of having jackson meet someone he’d much rather be with rushed into your head, making a lump form in your throat.
“fine. then don’t.” you said, immediately throwing yourself back onto the bed, grabbing your pillow and shifting it to the edge of the bed, away from jackson, squeezing your eyes shut and swallowing hard to make sure you didn’t cry in front of him.
it took just a few seconds for jackson to lie down as well, and you knew if you turned around to check, he would be facing away from you.
pushing his face and his words out of your head, you willed yourself to sleep. as you drifted into slumber, your self-control faltered and a single tear rolled down the side of your face and onto the pillow.
-
