Talking to myself...
Wow, it’s been a while. Looking back at some old posts, it’s pretty interesting to see me now, and the person I used to be. I’m not really good at expressing myself online, where people can read my shhhtuffs anymore, but I guess I’ll do it for old time’s sake.
To Past (First Few Years of College) Me: Hey, you. I remember you quite well. You knew a good amount of things and were pretty mature. However, you still got a lot of things to learn, and areas to grow. You’re still pretty lost in what you want to do. You should have done what you wanted to do from the start, but your path is okay too. It’s a longer path to getting your life started, but that’s okay. Because you will learn a lot and you will grow so much in the years that pass by. You slowly start to shut everyone out, and try your best to not make any friends because of things that happened, but I think you should still go on ahead and be open to meeting new people and making new friends. It’s really a lot more fun that way.. You should know.. It’s who you really are. Social media isn’t really your thing, but remember that it’s always nice to talk to your old friends that you haven’t reached out to in a while. Sure they’re not really reaching out to you, but there’s no shame in reaching out to them and trying to make bonds again, try not to forget that. Because once you do start reaching out, they’ll eventually reach out to you too and want to keep you around. You’re a pretty cool person, you just lack confidence and are too afraid to be yourself! It’s okay to be silly and sing in public, maybe even dance a little. No one will really remember you anyway, buuut they might think back to their day and smile because of how silly you looked or how bad you sang. There really is no point in worrying about how people see you, just as long as you’re not some person who did something bad! So, remember just be yourself and follow the things you’re passionate about. Also make friends! It makes the whole college thing 100x easier. PS. You’ll learn Japanese along the way and it’ll help you learn how to talk to strangers. Lol it’s really dumb how it happens, but you’ll have fun with it.
To Present Me: これは独り言だね。ちょっと自分を励ましましょうか。そうしないけど。笑 I don’t really know what to say to you... You’re graduating in a less than a year, it’s really been a while since you started school. Almost 10 years! Buuuut it’s great that you’re doing what you really like doing. You’ve been on your internship for about 3 months now and you’re still kinda lost with what you’re supposed to be doing, but it’s alright. You’re getting the hang of things, even though it doesn’t really feel like it. I’m honestly really proud of how you’ve been managing yourself and how responsible you are. Like, really! good job. I thought you’d be super lazy, but you’re not. You make time for exercise, study a language you’re interested in on your own, do chores (even the ones that aren’t yours), and really just manage your time really well. People would disagree that you aren’t sleeping enough, buuuut it’s alright you’re used to it. Alright, so enough with the praise, now for some criticism. There are days where you spend too much time on your phone instead of doing things that are productive. You’re forgetting to budget money so you can save up for things you want to do in the future. Being lazy at work sometimes. You’re on reddit way too long stressing yourself, when you could be doing something else. Anyway, some other things I’d like to praise you for is your attention to your mental health these days. Maybe it’s because you don’t have school at the moment, but you’re giving yourself a lot more time to breathe. You’re definitely much more aware if you’re feeling down and make an effort to cheering yourself up or distract yourself by trying to do something creative. It’s only been 3 months since you’ve moved out but you really surprise me by how well you’re managing. Some things I think you need to start doing more of is putting yourself out there. Speaking up about ideas that need to be heard and actually fight and stand for what you believe in. I mean yeah sure there’s a virus going on, but at least show some support to people who need it and just be there for your friends that might need it. Anyway, I think that’s all I gotta say to you. Just make sure you keep up the things you’re doing and don’t forget to keep striving to be a better version of yourself!
To Future (10 years) Me: Hello you, hopefully you got some of your goals down by now. If you live out of the country, then that’s great news! Hopefully, you’re making plans on the future business you’re trying to start up. Honestly, regardless of what you’re doing, I’m sure it’s all for the best. Don’t get too caught up in the world and everything else around you. Just focus on the things you need to focus on. The people you love and the people that love you can support you. Just don’t forget to reach out. It’s something that you’ve struggled with doing, but it’s understandable, since you try to be considerate of how people feel, and wouldn’t want to feel like you’re being a bother to them. But really, just be selfish sometimes! Hopefully, you’ve learned to be a bit of an a-hole. Just in terms of managing people and being upfront with the things that need to be said and done. Communicating how you feel and telling people to do things isn’t your strong point, so hopefully you’ve gotten better at that. If you’re managing groups of people, hopefully you’re still the type that appreciates the things people do for you and that you properly take the time of day to actually show that you appreciate them, because it’s a good morale booster, and a happy team is a productive team. Also, I really do hope you’re as creative as ever and still the positive person you are. I also hope you’re still active and running around because I would be so mad if you have children and you can’t even go outside to play with them! Like c’mon! OH! And that too, hopefully you’re not too busy with your work that you forget about your family! I’d be so disappointed if you’re not the person that I wanted to be, but it’s okay if you aren’t, because maybe you just lost track of things and need something to get you back on track. I just hope you really do get back on track and live up to the expectations I set you to. I hope you’re still learning every day, challenging your ideas and beliefs. I hope you’re taking the time to meet new people and being open to their ideas and not being closed off to yours. Anyway, regardless of all that, I really wish you’re happy with the life you’ve lived and you’re trying to make a difference in other people’s lives.
