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Jan 1, 2023

Time Capsule

Hey Hols,

It’s been a while since I’ve done one of these. I forgot to do one last year. Isn’t it wild that you got to open the time capsule you left yourself for your college graduation- it’s pretty swag we thought about doing that as an 18 year old. The change in tone is astounding. The confidence and happiness in your voice is glowing. There used to be so much sarcasm when addressing the future, that’s gone now. It’s wild, I find it hard to write a letter to myself and address it to “you”. It used to be easy, as if we were separate people, but now it’s rather difficult. You’re about to hit your one year mark at Georgetown! What a cool fucking job dude. By the time you read this you’ll be (done??) submitting apps to grad schools.

Honestly the year has flown by so fast I cannot do a month to month recap. Here’s the quick version in no particular order:

Started a new job as a research technician, running MRIs and doing data analysis with adolescent development and gulf war illness (separately, obvs).

Wrapped up the appointments with a rheumatologist who came to the conclusion “probably not autoimmune”

Had a lil situationship (all year long) with a frat-boy ex-coworker and it’s genuinely a good time. We talk less now but it’s chill?

SO much petsitting.

Lexy’s Fam moved to SC

Started doing yoga. Helped with back pain, struggling HELLA with carpal tunnel right now. For the love of god please tell me you got that sorted out.

Got wisdom teeth surgery (rough).

Went to Pittsburgh with mads!

Aunt Kari and Uncle Ernie visited.

Friendships->

Talked to Erin this year, only a few times but it’s good to hear things are going well for her. Have not had the energy to maintain that.

Still talk to Mads, Lexy, Lexy, Sam, & Laur daily. Talk to the rest of the GCs occasionally too!

Things are good with Dad and the Boys. Mom is ?????, well, we’re in therapy.

Goals->

Apply to grad school.

Publish some papers.

Be good with money.

Good vibes.

Questions for 2024 ->

Tbh just fill me in. Tell me about these applications. Do you still love your job. What’s happening in your life.

See ya later,

Hols

cactiero

4+ year time capsule

It’s 1/6/17. You’re 18 in 2 days. I have a lot of questions for you as at this point I cannot see that far into the future. There’s a term for why that is but I can’t think of it off the top of my head. I’m going to time this to be around graduation. I’m going to give a little snippet in time real quick. Donald Trump gets inaugurated in literally 2 weeks. There was a lot of controversy about it. How was it? At the time I’m writing this it’s hard to picture the road ahead as I have not yet applied. I always knew my procrastination would be a problem *laughs* I’m curious as to your interests. I’ll list a few current ones. Photography is your biggest passion. Literally it’s just about all you care about. Music is the second biggest thing in your life. You’re huge into bands like Panic! at the Disco, My Chemical Romance, Fall Out Boy, The Killers, Moose Blood, Brand New, etc. currently you have a thing for the 1975, LANY, Kodaline, and other lil indie bands. Your favorite playlist is themed around neon signs. Please tell me you still have it. Idk if you listen to it anymore but I really would suggest you go take a look through your old playlists. Ed Sheeran just released new music. You’re utter ed sheeran trash. Oh speaking of which do you ever listen to Mr. Brightside anymore? That’s a bop. Do you paint or draw? Did you magically find a new talent? Who is your next president? How are you doing? What did you major in? Are you going to travel as you planned? How is life? I’m not quite sure how to wrap my head around it. How are you feeling to have hopefully completed college. Career ideas? Kilroys? How’s mom? Dad? Is he with Jimena still? If so how are they? Is mom with anyone? How are the cousins? The brothers? Are you still at home? Is pops still considering California? Did either uncle get married yet? Any new children? How are all the children on the miller side, some of them should be freshmen yeah? I’m totally baffled. How does it feel looking back at yourself? Have you even opened tumblr lately. I hope you make it a regular occurrence to at least check on these. What about friends. Do you talk to Lexy? Sam? Kirsty, Amy, Anna, Stacey, Anya? Beck, Lexy, AJ, Jen, Emily? What friends from high school do you talk to? Meet any new ones? Any significant others ;)? Did you glow up yet lol? Fill me in, 18 year old you is curious.

Until next time, Holly

cactiero

hey there kiddo, been a while.

1) the trump presidency was far worse than you expected. he was impeached,, twice. there were so many steps backwards and his administration caused so much harm. not to mention how he handled a pandemic, more on that later. the president is now joe biden, and we still don’t like him. he loves to play the role of this progressive leader for the people but he’s not. and we all knew that when voting.

2) Still do photography but surprisingly, not as much as you thought. Still really into music. I’ve got REALLY bad news for you about brand new and moose blood though. sorry kiddo.

3) You majored in psychology, minored in neuro, and had a concentration in cognitive neuroscience. This major took you to study abroad in scotland!! Now you miss it more than ever though rip.

4) career? research, working on that.

5) kilroy’s, quit during the pandemic.

6) Dad is with Abbey, love her. Mom is with someone, don’t like him. Ty with Mel. Cousins are good. Oh my god the miller children are all so old. they’re literally in high school already. Uncle J and rory broke up. Uncle dan married lisa.

7) Talk to lexy every day. Sam too! Talk to kirsty and stacey a lot still (met them both too) Anna chimes in too. Still talk with beck, lexy, hazel, jen, and xavier. AJ is a whole thing. Oh my god. Maddie and erin weren’t even mentioned here.

8) other than that it’s life as usual, now you’re adjusting to the post-graduation life.

until next time,

hols (june 30, 2021)

cactiero

Post graduation time capsule

Holy shit holly you graduated high school 6/20/17. You’re alive. You actually are alive. You never thought you would actually get your diploma. You’re bawling right now because nothing feels real. It won’t sink in for a while. Do you feel alive yet holly? Do you? Alright man, you’re kinda freaking the fuck out about college. Holy shit man. Idk what else to say. High school sucked balls. Offer your commentary please. Please tell me you’re graduating college.

cactiero

hey kiddo,

guess what...!! you graduated college this may ((magna cum laude at that)). you grew so much over the last 4 years and i wish i could just reach back and wrap you in a hug to let you know everything turns out okay. i know high school was rough but you’re finding your place in the world.

-hols

Post graduation time capsule

4+ year time capsule

It's 1/6/17. You're 18 in 2 days. I have a lot of questions for you as at this point I cannot see that far into the future. There's a term for why that is but I can't think of it off the top of my head. I'm going to time this to be around graduation. I'm going to give a little snippet in time real quick. Donald Trump gets inaugurated in literally 2 weeks. There was a lot of controversy about it. How was it? At the time I'm writing this it's hard to picture the road ahead as I have not yet applied. I always knew my procrastination would be a problem *laughs* I'm curious as to your interests. I'll list a few current ones. Photography is your biggest passion. Literally it's just about all you care about. Music is the second biggest thing in your life. You're huge into bands like Panic! at the Disco, My Chemical Romance, Fall Out Boy, The Killers, Moose Blood, Brand New, etc. currently you have a thing for the 1975, LANY, Kodaline, and other lil indie bands. Your favorite playlist is themed around neon signs. Please tell me you still have it. Idk if you listen to it anymore but I really would suggest you go take a look through your old playlists. Ed Sheeran just released new music. You're utter ed sheeran trash. Oh speaking of which do you ever listen to Mr. Brightside anymore? That's a bop. Do you paint or draw? Did you magically find a new talent? Who is your next president? How are you doing? What did you major in? Are you going to travel as you planned? How is life? I'm not quite sure how to wrap my head around it. How are you feeling to have hopefully completed college. Career ideas? Kilroys? How's mom? Dad? Is he with Jimena still? If so how are they? Is mom with anyone? How are the cousins? The brothers? Are you still at home? Is pops still considering California? Did either uncle get married yet? Any new children? How are all the children on the miller side, some of them should be freshmen yeah? I'm totally baffled. How does it feel looking back at yourself? Have you even opened tumblr lately. I hope you make it a regular occurrence to at least check on these. What about friends. Do you talk to Lexy? Sam? Kirsty, Amy, Anna, Stacey, Anya? Beck, Lexy, AJ, Jen, Emily? What friends from high school do you talk to? Meet any new ones? Any significant others ;)? Did you glow up yet lol? Fill me in, 18 year old you is curious. Until next time, Holly

2019, a recap/ Time Capsule

January

Stayed at moms till your Bday. Turned 20. You started your final semester at NOVA. Took care of the animals and painted a lot. Taking 18 credits but 2 of them haven’t started yet. Mom went to Uncle Pats which was nice.

February

Starts with 4/6 classes and 40 hrs a week. Pretty much just busy. Went into DC with mads and erin. Started your two 8 weeks. Finally named ur lizard Gantu.

March

Nothing More truth tour. Incredible. Did a chop and went blonde. Hellishly busy, hellishly cute, overall not too bad.

April

Erins anniversary. 14 exams/Presentations/essays due in the month of april. Accepted into the art show again. Went to the fair with mads.

May

Got First place in art show. Wrapped up the year. Gave yourself a concussion on a pencil sharpener. Still pulled a 3.5 GPA. Got your Associates Degree in social science with a specialization in psychology. found your love for flowy pants.

June

Mason Orientation. Started at starbucks. working both jobs for a total of 80+ hours a week.

July

New Glasses. Still working 80 hrs. Sharyn came to visit. Got a flat tire on the way. Saw chase atlantic and lauren sanderson.

August

Got new plants, new pants, and idk nothing else rhymes. Started fall semester at mason. Saw 3 days grace and etc. Pete Loeffler is a Dilf.

September

Semester is good, enjoying classes. Got lots of new plants. Working both jobs still so you’re very very busy. Discovered grid paper is best for note taking. Accepted in a study abroad program.

October

Flew to california. Fiasco with the flights and spent the night in a hotel in dallas. Listened to lights up taking off into a thunderstorm. Saw old neighborhood etc. Saw kallie. Was asked to photograph Bren’s wedding. Drove back. Saw the sunrise over the grand canyon and cried a little bit.

November

Mostly just school work. Saw ADTR. Dyed hair purple. Saving up money for the UK. Winter hit me p hard tho. New Camera. Stilllll working hella hours.

December

Scary event with leaving your wallet in an uber 3 weeks before the trip and the creepy ass uber driver. Finished the semester with a 3.79 GPA. Made dean’s list. Spent my time preparing for my trip. Left on Dec 30.

Onto the other stuff..

music is a little different this year. more mature i think. lots of indies and alternatives but better than the mainstream neon signs era. not that there’s anything wrong with it. you like the good vibes. you have a shared playlist with mads and that gets loved.

Mom’s radiation worked and her scans were clean all year.

Nothing crazy relationship wise. Funny lil moment with the guy whose parents invited me to eat with them. oh well.

You did pick a major, and a concentration (not official yet) No minor yet. Not ready to look at grad schools.

I know the meds thing was really scary at first but honestly it’s pretty good. Moods are mostly stable. Winter still sucks. You get bad side effects from antidepressants and don’t have the time to wait them out.

You did name ur beardie. Gantu. He’s Dumb.

No license yet lol

yes, you did get your room clean in the spring but winter kinda fucked it up.

Questions for next year:

How is everything? How are the friendships? Did Mads move to portugal?

How did semesters 2 and 3 go?

Did you pick a minor? Did you officially declare CBN?

Did you get into a research lab?

How are the jobs?

How was the UK???? (You’re in edinburgh now, and you’ve already fallen in love, but tell me more)

Did you get your room clean?

2018

Hey holly. Let’s recap.

January:

Spent New Years at home with tonsillitis. You were struggling to find money for college, then got a loan. Also turned 19. Mad stressed. You started your second semester of college and started off pretty strong.

Feb:

Crazy first couple weeks, met max. School, work, depression. On the bright side you went to a reptile expo- also you met erin.

March:

Idk school and work. Saw ADTR. Got to #60 in the world on Snapchat’s easter egg game lmao.

April:

Things get interesting. Went on vacay with Maddie. Partied with Maddie, Erin, and Sharyn. Went to a telly then bolted bc the general manager knocked it down.

May:

You and max went to a concert. It was a lot of fun. Also finished your second semester. You impulsively pierced your belly button. Started another semester.

June:

Finished two classes. Uneventful.

July:

Worked on last class. Went to beach. Warped tour.

August:

Diagnosed with bipolar disorder. Started meds. Breakup. All time low. Started classes. Hung out at The Roy™️ pretty much every night.

September:

Nothing but thieves (holy shit). Meds working wonders.

October:

Moth memes. Brockhampton. Mom had a ministroke and you got drunk as shit. Spooky shit. Dressed as bread. Jk about the meds

November:

Harpers ferry. Basically a giant mental breakdown. 3oh!3, two days later badflower. Mom had another ministroke.

December:

Research study. Finished semester 4. Got 2 ferrets and a beardie. Went to mom’s. The end.

Questions for next year:

How are you doing? Get moods stabilized? Any new friends? Any fallouts?

How is Maddie? Did she move to Seattle? Did she stay there? How is she?

How is Erin? Her marriage?

How did mom’s radiation go? Did you get that tattoo with her? How is she?

How was semester 5? 6? Did you finish your associates? Transfer to mason?

How is your beardie? Name him yet?

Did you achieve your resolutions:

Get license.

Clean room and studio and keep life organized.

Do yoga.

Focus on your wellbeing.

Until next year,

Holly

Guess it’s time for the next New Years time capsule

Hey man.

Let’s talk 2017.

It started with a New Years party at the cousins.

Then your birthday, that was a mess and everyone bailed on you. Mom and Dad and Jimena were there and it was tense and awkward and yikes.

Then Trump was inaugurated. What a shitstorm. You’ll remember by the time you read this how it was literally just daily headlines of him spreading hate.

February and March were uneventful and were mostly just art and trying to not fail.

April was a shitstorm. You hardly slept that entire month as you tried to get ready for AP and for the art show while balancing your other art shows. Also you spent all your money here. Asshole, college you needed that shit.

May was a whirlwind of good times though. You submitted everything to the AP board. You had prom. You had your art show. You got invited to several other art shows.

June was cool. You finished the year and graduated.

July you spent with the babes at the beach. You saw all time low and still regard it the best show of your life.

August you started college. Didn’t sleep a lot.

September you met some dudes and that was chaos. You also started getting pretty sick.

October and November were mostly just you getting sick and trying to not fail. Halloween was chill. School was meh. You hung out with people from work a bit idk. Saw fall out boy. Finished your first semester. Thanksgiving was cool.

December was mostly just you being sick. Twice actually. Tonsillitis was real rad. There was a lil pump concert Uh idk not a lot happening you’re just broke.

That brings us to questions about 2018

How’s life? What’s going on? Happy? Healthy? I swear to god how long did it take for you to get into the doctor about your head? What came of that? And the other appointments you’ve been needing to make? Ever stop getting fucking sick all the time? How’s work? Still there? Wait yet? Drop dumb boys yet? Figure shit out?

And our hopes.

I hope you’re healthy.

I hope you’re happy.

I hope life is treating you well.

I hope 2018 doesn’t suck.

See you in 2019 man.

#time capsule

Happy New Years!

I'd like to make these time capsules an annual thing. Ok I'm going to start with a snippet in time and response to the last one. So trump won, you were wrong. Also that lame Cruz meme got to like 3600 notes ha. You also didn't apply to college like you said you would. Right now you're really confused about everything in your life. That's great. I turn 18 in 2 days. How's that going btw? Also today Ed Sheeran released two songs. How was his album. It was great I already know the answer. Ok real talk 2016 sucked ass. Like the whole mom thing was tough but you were really strong. I hope you're still proud of yourself. Next is question time. By the time you read this you'll be nearly 19, and you'll be in college. How is life going lad? Are you still tight with all your friends? How was your year? Was 2017 fine? Not getting too drunk at the parties you don't go to I imagine. Did you make it to Scotland and England? Did you stop being single lol? It's funny how time flies. You should try to go to Canada honestly. It's not far. You're almost 19, you could have a great time. How are all your high school friends doing in college. Are pops and Jimena still together? How is mom? Now for my hopes. I hope you're happy. I hope you're figuring shit out and okay with who you're becoming I hope your home life is good. I hope you're content with every question you can't answer. I hope 2017 was kind to you, you deserve the world.

#time capsule

i love mt

i dont use this blog anymore but yo same