a cactus appreciation blog

the finest shit posts, fandom and memes since 2011

[technicolouredbutterflies]

Tonight we also learnt that the Ella Enchantes AO3 is mostly Hannibal stuff

[sleepymccoy]

It's wild

[animentality]

[memewhore]

[thebroccoligoblin]

She’s so excited !!!

[spoopy-story]

So is she

[visit-ba-sing-se]

can't believe that pompeii by bastille is over ten years old now. but I guess if you close your eyes it does almost feels like nothing changed at all

[screampotato]

What's the opposite of asexual?

Guinea pigs.

(Guinea pig owners will understand).

[bnq]

perfect boy .

[skweebs]

[bnq]

perfect boy .

[skweebs]

[radioactivemongoose]

the hotel has an on demand section called “mood” & these are the moods

[cawfeeann]

pls unmute whatever you’re expecting it’s not it

[rohirric-hunter]

I don’t normally do this, but I’m adding a description because this is gold. I highly encourage you to unmute anyway if you can.

Cameraperson: Okay, we’re checking out “moods” in the hotel. You can select from a list. We’re picking Flowers. Here’s the Flower mood.

TV displays pink carnations, accompanied by Eine Kleine Nachtmusik.

Cameraperson (laughing): Okay, let’s check out something else. Let’s check out Pyramids.

TV displays an Egyptian mural, also accompanied by Eine Kleine Nachtmusik.

Both people begin laughing out loud.

Cameraperson: That sure suites the pyramids. Let’s check out Cities.

TV displays a city nightscape, also accompanied by Eine Kleine Nachtmusik.

Cameraperson: Okay, let’s check out Wildlife. It’s gonna be a forest, or a – Aaah, okay!

TV displays a clearly photoshopped image of a duckling half in and half out of an eggshell, wearing it like a barrel in a slapstick comedy cartoon, accompanied by Eine Kleine Nachtmusik.

[charlataninred]

Love how tumblr has its own folk stories. Yeah the God of Arepo we’ve all heard the story and we all still cry about it. Yeah that one about the woman locked up for centuries finally getting free. That one about the witch who would marry anyone who could get her house key from her cat and it’s revealed she IS the cat after the narrator befriends the cat.

[meraarts]

Might I add:

The defeat of the wizard who made people choose how they’d be to be executed

The woman who raised the changeling alongside her biological child

The human who died of radiation poisoning after repairing the spaceship

[eater-of-hopes-and-dreams]

The adventures of a space roomba

Cinderella finding Araura (and falling in love)

I don’t know a snappy description but the my nemesis cynthia story certainly lives in my head

[blitzlowin]

hilariously, these are almost all in my fic tag. so, a compiled list from the notes (and some extras):

The God of Arepo (graphic novel 1 / 2 / 3) (ebook)

The Monster of Sentan

The Witch’s Cat

Raise Both Children

Stabby the Roomba (honorable mention)

Cinderella Marries the Prince (comic)

My Arch Nemesis Cynthia

Pirates and Mermaid

Eindred and the Witch

The Demon King

The Cornerwitch

Grandmother Beetroot

Apocalypse Daycare Worker

Grandmother Accidentally Summons a Demon

New Year Saga

A Story About Changelings

Ranger in the King’s Forest

The Difference Between a Hare and a Rabbit

Goblin Men (Canines)

[charlataninred]

I am in love with you /p

[inkvoices]

Adding Faceblind Prince Charming and Cinderella

[inkvoices]

21. The human who died of radiation poisoning after repairing the spaceship

22. The defeat of the wizard who made people choose how they’d be to be executed

[lightningladybug]

adding the Doctors Without Borders one

[inkvoices]

I LOVE tumblr storytime, so here’s a bunch more your weekend reading. Enjoy!

24. The Queen with Three Cursed Children

25. Tiny Dragon with one coin hoard

26. Haunted house

27. Shark hero was about to go rogue

28. Grandma lives in the woods comic

29. A Different Aftermath comic

30. Battery (microstory but I love it so much)

31. It’s A Date comic

32. Supervillian kidnaps rival’s kid and they want to stay

33. Narrative Town

34. I have been hired to clean the wizard tower comic

35. Robot Apocalypse

36. The Statues That Do Not Weather

37. Kushiel

38. Tooth Fairy

39. Alien abduction

40. Felonious wish-granting

41. When humans met actual space orcs

42. Space cousins

[dannnnnnnnnnnnex]

WAIT REBLOG THIS VERSION INSTEAD

[omgbuglen]

Deer running from a flying squirrel as caught on a trail camera

[thomas-bxngxlter-deactivated201]

everything about this picture is goddamn intense as fuck 

[arborealgargoyle]

I AM THE NIGHT

[justdrinktea]

the only thing in our new apartment so far

[kittykatexxl]

What else do u need

[comfortfrogblog]

so much hope can fit inside one little person

[comfortfrogblog]

congratulations you’ve just won the rights to this post

[heritageposts]

tumblr citizenship test (uquiz)

[rhythmlessgay]

It only lasted 15 minutes, but this is the funniest shit ever.

[demonius-darkblade]

my mom once told me i was a ski jumper in a past life because she dreamed about a ski jumper dying in a terrible accident when she was pregnant with me, and said it was definitely true cause the ski jumper in her dream was also blonde. i never had the heart to tell her this is absolutely not something catholics can believe.

[queen-elizabeth-the-3st]

[gonzosestrangedbrother]

I was born an identical twin shortly after 911, my mum is CONVINCED me and my sister are the twin towers reincarnate

[demonius-darkblade]

HUH

[jessebloom]

i do have to hand it to him

[asfgjfkgjnfkjgnkfjg]

Dear Apple...

You have awakened a sleeping beast. Our war cry will ring throughout the world, an unending dirge for the girls and the weed we’ve lost.

We are Superwholock.

We are Rise of the Brave Tangled Dragons.

We are Steven Universe.

We are Bee Shrek Test in the House.

We are Danganronpa.

We are the Hunger Games.

We are Karl Marx and Frederich Engels.

We are Lord of the Rings.

We are Undertale.

We are the Once-ler.

We are touching butts and buying pizza.

We are One Direction.

We are BTS.

We are Marvel.

We are Avatar: The Last Airbender.

We are Gravity Falls.

We are Free!

We are Ouran High School Host Club.

We are My Little Pony.

We are Dan and Phil.

We are Loki.

We are Spamton. We are IBS Warriors.

We are flower crowns.

We got the booty.

We are all of that, and much more.

We are Tumblr.

[asfgjfkgjnfkjgnkfjg]

And if you keep underestimating us? We have MUCH more on our side…

We are Homestuck. You can be our kismesis.

We are Dream SMP. We know how to start a revolution.

We are Warriors. We can overthrow any tyrannical leader. In Starclan we trust.

We are Woody. We can round you up.

We are the teachers. We can school you.

We are a family. We come together… and make dreams real…

We are storytellers. We have been through a lot in our lives.

[asfgjfkgjnfkjgnkfjg]

We are Naruto.

We are every anime, even the… weird sides.

We are iCarly.

We are Eddsworld.

We are yaoi.

We are Five Nights at Freddy’s.

We are MLG.

But most of all… we are all together in this. We will not fall to you and your wretched desires! This is your calling card, Apple and Tumblr staff!

[asfgjfkgjnfkjgnkfjg]

This is also now a calling card to Elon Musk!

See you in Elon’s Palace, fellow Yaoi Thieves of Tumblr!