Gonzo

Any Pronouns

[lowpolyparrot]

me on the puter

[wormsical]

"he's just some guy" TO YOU. to me? he is a girl

[bizarre-transmission-deactivate]

*a babygirl 💕

[nest-deactivated20181209]

My gf is an actual amab cis girl. They wrote male on her birth certificate by mistake

holy shit tell your girlfriend congrats on the fun gender

[nevertrustanoracle]

In an odd inversion, my cis grandfather was marked as female on his DEATH certificate.

[cats2019forthenintendoswitch]

afad

[beemovieerotica]

I’m male whenever I’m on Brazilian soil because when I applied for a visa, the lady didn’t believe I was a cis woman and put male on my documents even after I complained twice, so I’m also amab (Assigned Male At BrazilianBorder)

[muirneach]

my bestie is a cis woman and is amad (assigned male at drivingliscense)

[1anonyymous1]

i love silence. no talking. no noise. just shhh. shhhhhhhhhhh. love that.

[gonzosestrangedbrother]

romans inside the trojan horse trying to convince the younger ones to be quiet

[mousemilf-deactivated20250508]

if i worked at prime video i would make a horror movie on there that was like. ok so it would be a horror movie you could select to watch, but it would only show up on prime for people with ring cameras or echoes or whatever other devices amazon makes idk. and then basically when u hit play it would just be live footage of your home. from the device. im sure in their terms of service theyre probably allowed to do this so idk why they havent

[beaft]

if you are reading this i want you to stop for a moment and imagine a crab

[gonzosestrangedbrother]

forceful crab visualisation is my new game

[vixvigil]

[bartmobile]

today the girl ringing me up at the gas station said “ok, have a nice day. i love you” and i said “what” and she repeated “i love you” with better diction

[lesbianboyfriend]

i love when girls kill everyone who ever wronged them. more girls should do this

[gonzosestrangedbrother]

GRRRLBOSS 💙💕💜

[bananahomo]

it doesn't matter. you'll NEVER have a murder of crows circling ominously over you while you wear a slutty black outfit. idiot.

[killjah]

we have a guy like this in glasgow, Scotland, he’s called crow guy and the murder of crows follows him everywhere, here he is sitting down, I don’t know if the dog is his I think they just like sitting there with him

[bananahomo]

everyone wants what he has

[gonzosestrangedbrother]

gay people only want one thing and it’s disgusting (to have an unexplained aura that crows can really get down with)

[rneadowsoprano-deactivated20211]

Hanging out with old people rules because after a while they trust you enough to confess to murder totally unprompted

[hiscarissima]

Wait what.

[rneadowsoprano-deactivated20211]

Sometimes old ladies had to kick the ladder out from under their stepfathers when they were girls and that’s valid

[saint-batrick]

oh, my little old lady murder story was her replacing the medication in her abusive husband's capsules with rat poison.

"back in the day, our grandmothers worked on their marriages and didn't get divorced!" nah, friend, they COULDN'T get a divorce so sometimes they killed their fuckin husbands. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[smashasaurus-rex]

My grandma murdered her first husband the first time he beat their daughter.

[sandersgrey]

[thatdisasterauthor]

My college was next to an assisted living facility and one time we went over there to draw people’s portraits so we could get practice drawing older people. The lady I was drawing idly told me that she "dealt quite handily with her first husband” while making a stabbing gesture. Five minutes later she requested I make sure not to draw her double chin. I honored that request.

[need-a-new-reality]

So when I was a child my grandmother told all these great stories about growing up in the Alaskan wilderness. Amazing bad ass stories about her and my great-grandmother. I recently asked my mom why my great-grandmother moved from Texas to Alaska in the first place. Turns out my Great-grandfather was abusive to my great grandmother for years and she lived with that until the first time he hit my grandmother, who was like three at the time, my great-grandmother got him very drunk and beat him to death then moved to Alaska to hide from the cops.

[drst]

Men don't realize their life expectancy went up thanks to divorce.

[the-bibrarian]

Figure 9.3 shows that the number of males killed by intimate partners dropped by 71.4% between 1976 and 2002. Researchers and advocates for battered women attribute this dramatic decline to the widespread availability of support services for women, including shelters, crisis counseling, hotlines, and legal measures such as protection and restraining orders. These services offer abused women options for escaping violence and abuse other than taking their partners' lives. Other factors that may have contributed to the decline are the increased ease of obtaining divorce and the generally improved economic conditions for women.

Source

:))))))))

[foone]

The two fundamental ways to be a human actor in a Muppet movie:

1. I am a fucking actor, and so are they. I don't care if they are made of felt and pipe cleaners, I must act alongside them just as if they were Sir Laurence Olivier himself. (This is the Michael Caine in A Muppet Christmas Carol approach)

2. This is a Muppet film. Therefore, for the next hour and a half, I am a Muppet. (this is the Tim Curry in A Muppet Treasure Island approach)

Both approaches are equally valid and equally hilarious.

[gonzosestrangedbrother]

IM BACK FREAKS

[e-102]

you can’t ‘i’m just a little guy’ your way out of this one cunt

[gonzosestrangedbrother]

just heard freddie stroma’s real voice in an interview for the first time and i’m so confused??? he’s so posh english but also so americanised but also randomly pronounces words with a welsh twang??????

[howlpendraig]

The assassin you sent after me is part of my found family now

[eye-co]

[frog-whisperer]

[thetrashchronicles]

[absolutecheezit]

[error404-redacted]

[unbotheredmuse]