TO LOVE IS TO STOP LYING.ย ย ย a private and plot-based writing blog for will graham of nbcโs hannibal. no book influence. heavily hc based and canon divergent. mutuals only / 21+ / written by charlie (she / they). this is a horror blog and will contain written ic mentions and descriptions of murder, serial killers, and occasionally limited gore. nsfw text / writing may be present. all triggers will be tagged with #trigger cw but please follow with care. bio, rules, and affiliates below the cut.
BASICS.ย ย ย william (will) graham, age is verse dependent (typically early to mid thirties), nb, he / they, bisexual, american nationality, mixed mexican-irish ethnicity, born march 19th 1979, pisces sun / scorpio moon / capricorn rising
BACKGROUND.ย ย ย born in southern louisiana, ย raised by an absent father with no memory of his mother, moved frequently along the eastern seaboard throughout his childhood, acquired a bachelors in law enforcement and criminal psychology from tulane university, officer and later homicide detective for new orleans pd, put on administrative leave after an incident in the field in which he failed to fire on an aggressive suspect and suffered a serious stab wound to the shoulder, left new orleans to attend graduate school in forensic science program at george washington university where he graduated with distinction, recruited to the fbi academy at quantico where he failed psychological screenings necessary for field work, accepted a position as teacher of criminal psychology and forensic sciences / investigation with the fbi academy, frequently tapped as a special agent in homicide cases involving serial murderers, considered to be the fbiโs most prolific and gifted criminal profiler
APPEARANCE.ย ย ย fc diego luna, medium height and slim / lithe build, athletic, lean musculature throughout his body made visible by low body fat (natural ectomorph complicated by food scarcity and texture-averse disordered eating in childhood) and frequent physical labor and outdoor activity including running, rowing, and swimming, slightly thicker at the shoulders and thighs, strong but delicate features, thick head of dark hair that is loosely curled when short but is typically worn long just above his shoulders and pulled back from his face, worn shorter post-fall, warm complexion that is ruddy and prone to flushing, often sallow due to lack of sleep or excessive stress, heavily saturated dark brown eyes w/ strikingly dark limbal rings, heavy black lashes, his natural scent is of the faint sweetness of clear water and sunlight but clouded by dog and artificial aftershave
MENTAL PROFILE.ย ย ย neurodivergent, auadhd + sensory processing disorder / auditory processing disorder, hyper-intelligent with powerful eidetic memory, mannerisms are varied and contradictory, reflective of expectation with a tendency towards performative mimicry, distinct echopraxic behaviours
MAIN & EXCLUSIVES.ย ย ย at this time, i am only accepting one to two mains for any canon character. exclusives are by request / reserved for those portrayals that are central to my / my muse's conception of that character.โ
RULES BRIEF.ย ย ย please do not use heavy additional spacing between words / characters or gradient-coloured text when writing with me. due to the inherent content, this blog is exclusively 21+. this blog is nsfw heavy. mutuals only, all mutuals are welcome / invited to im me or ask for discord. if i donโt like you / the things you post, i will soft/hard block as i see fit.
ย please noteย that i do not acknowledge w*ndigo imagery / themes and i do not include will and margotโs sexual relationship (or the entire verger plotline as it was presented in the show in relation to will) in my portrayal. though this is a horror blog that frequently features and focuses on acts of violence, i will not write sexual violence or violence against children.
YOU HAVE NEVER UNDERSTOOD WHERE THE LINE IS DRAWN BETWEEN SACRIFICE & SELF SLAUGHTER . . . independent, highly selective & private portrayal of clarice starling of silence of the lambs. written by ash / they them / 25+. triggering content present & tagged. influences taken from the movies, books & tv series. multiple verses & aus available.
will is nb but pronouns don't mean anything to himโlike he recognizes them only as reference tools in the languages of thought and communication, literally any pronouns are fine with him because he doesn't feel that any of these indicators in any way approach or infringe upon his own understanding of himself, he uses he/him in self-reference because it's easy, it's disguise, and he's ambivalent, and pronouns are substitutable
people identifying him as a man and assigning to him the social elements and assumptions about growing up a man and occupying society as a man is.. well, primarily it's convenient to him, because it gives him a solid framework to understand the person someone perceives him to be, something he can act either with or against, depending on how he wants to be viewed by them, sometimes it annoys him or does 'bother' him only because it's an incorrect assumption and it implies other faulty assumptions, and others' inability to analyze him correctly is expected but irritating to him
he uses he/him pronouns but he doesn't think of himself as a man (or as a woman) and he does not identify with masculinity, he preforms it socially to an incomplete degree not necessarily because he likes it or dislikes it but because it is convenient, he gets not satisfaction from presentation in regards to how it is gendered only in how it serves him in the moment and how it makes him feel, there's plenty about feminine presentation that he /also/ likes and exhibits, most of what you could call his 'good gender' moments come from traditionally feminine-aligned roles and presentations, but most people fail to recognize these elements of him because they.. don't really know him, and, again, he's ambivalent about even considering these qualities to be feminine because to him they are just.. the qualities that as a person he possesses or enjoys or likes to occupy in whatever way he desires
you can tell me. i already know. / AGHHHGHGHGH BLANCHE
ย ย will exhales and drags the zipper of her dress up, his knuckles brushing steadily up her back. a fissure of touch. warm hands, cool air. her beautiful spine and smooth, pale skin flecked here and there by the perfect flaws of small, dark moles. even after the dress is closed, his hand still works. up and down the stacked line of vertebrae that rises above the red fabric, above the low scooped neckline, her exposed upper back and the back of her neck, the base of the rise of her skull. the backs of his fingers, then the pads of his fingers, than the heel and then the palm of his hand, stroking slowly up and down and up and down. soft skin and the buried cables of her body corded just beneath.
ย ย "if you already know, then asking me to tell you is exploitative," he murmurs, hand sliding flat along one winged scapula to curve over her shoulder, not at the crest of her arm but in, over the ridge of the trapezius, gripping gently. soothingly, as if preparing to smooth away a knot of stress, to ease a point of suffering pearled inside her. the chain of her necklace is there, under his fingers, warm on her collarbone. slightly askew. will straightens it with a drag of his fingertips.
ย ย life is precious. thin. like the breastbone of a bird. it does not become stronger when woven together in the way of common cordage. no. a shared life thins further, tenuous, and miraculously easy to snap.
ย ย will doesn't have a plan for this. this relationship has not been premeditated in the same way as others in his life. the instant of the present is choked entirely on reconciling the consequence of the causative past and potential of the influenceable future. what did will experience then and how does it inform what he will do now? not now, soon. all of it is theoretical. illusory.
ย ย he touches her spine again.
ย ย "i'm not going to tell you, blanche. i need you to accept that."
ย ย will bends and presses a slack kiss to the nape of her neck.
ย ย both blanche and will occupy the same point in the same reality. they are together on a threshold, borne on confluent currents in the same stupid boat. none of it is reconcilable. they are both just going to have to wait and see.
sorry about hoarding all the fly fishing adjacent urlsโremaking will's sideblog because it's like at reblog 8000 at this point and i haven't archived it in like 3 years, have another url might use it for a meme repository or maybe a usfw sideblog.. but realistically i just post that here so.. oop
.... do you know what 'mansplaining' is? / tess !!!
ย ย his face twitches. a rapid-fire sequence of aborted expressions.
ย ย there's a moment of silence, only the rattling of the engine, the creak of badly maintained ball joints that will hasn't mentioned even once, even though the sound makes his shoulders so tight that his neck aches.
ย ย "i suppose you're going to explain it to me," will says with beautifully forced disinterest, flipping through the folder in his lap and petulantly avoiding tess' eyes, though he can feel her gaze flicking back and forth between him and the road. she's both a very good driver and a very bad one, but her self-preservational instincts are so strong that will doesn't feel any need to be vigilant on their direction or the outwise chance of reaching their destination. she handles things. will is happy to let her. soothed by it, even.
ย ย they have, at least, moved past the back and forth of tess switching on the radio and will switching it off again. will considers that positive growth.
ย ย "i also suppose it hasn't occurred to you that my perception of your gender has nothing to do with the impulse to explain topics that i believe are essential to our cooperation and in which i have experience and you don't," the chassis creaks, terrible and straining and hollow. will chews the inside of his lip and focuses on the photos, the printed text. the soft-sharp outer edge of perfectly printed pages. running one finger over and over that edge to soothe himself until a page creases and he abruptly stops. "i'm more than willing for the expert education process to be mutual."
ย ย he can feel tess' aggravation filling him up. fuel for the journey. it's so much simpler than his own. controlled, and common to her. it doesn't even seem to bother her. he envies that. he also enjoys itโand so he presses, happy to scent out the exact sort of condescension that tess will dislike most completely without boiling over her temper. he continues to ignore the looks, hot with dislike, that she's directing at him as if through a scope.
ย ย "if you feel like giving a treatise on gunrunning, petty crime, and methods of avoiding detection by the atf, i'm all ears."
tess, deeply gender chaotic and deeply unbothered about it, telling will, also deeply gender chaotic and deeply unbothered about it, that he's mansplainingโtess mansplaining mansplaining to will
