its pronounced 'cast-off'

they/it/neos ☆ 22 ☆ gay aro enby ☆ zubin truther ☆ anarcho-communist https://caesthoffe.neocities.org

[caesthoffe]

tag directory

to go to any of my tags, just use the hyperlink "https://caesthoffe.tumblr.com/tagged/[tag]" note: if theres multiple words, most search engines use "%20" to insert a space

hobbies

#music: #[band/artist], #[album], #[song], #lyrics

#art, #anthro, #diy or die

#photography

#tv & film: #[show]

#sports

#creatures

#reading & writing, #poetry, #comics, #web weaving

#fashion & style

tools & filters

tools: #irl #me #hall of fame

author: #caesthoffe.txt | #asks | #reblog

triggers/warnings: #tw: #dead animal #blood #gore #child death #body horror #disordered eating #eye strain #arachnids (these tags include both fake and real blood/gore etc)

misc interests

tech: #internet | #cyber ethics | #web finds | #analog | #physical media | #piracy

#subcultures & identities: #queer: #trans #gay #aro | #vulture culture | #pnw gothic

#politics & current events: #apostasy, #hopecore

where else can you find me?

neocities my personal site | spacehey my blog | insta | twitter | discord

[caesthoffe]

when the band looks like this you KNOW that shits gonna be ass

[beepernerd4]

I really liked the design of these fellas

Og image

[aprilsludgate-deactivated201503]

A girl plays Paper Wings on violin and Tim starts singing along [x]

[balaclava-trismegistus]

I cannot produce the words to describe how deeply I am disgusted by the way a lot of people talk about being nonbinary as a temporary stepping stone to becoming "full-trans."

[freakoutgirl]

the internet seems like a distant dream

[freakoutgirl]

whatever we are on rn is not the internet. It's ads

[going2hell4everythingbutbeingbi]

my crazy pride month take of this year is that I actually think nobody has the exact same sexuality as anybody else

[earhartsease]

we think this about all labels (sexuality, gender, relationship models etc) that no two people mean exactly the same thing by a label, so stop taking it/yourselves quite so seriously, label cops

[rimonoroni2]

the christian veneration of the lamb has always been terrifying to me in ways i can’t explain

[rimonoroni2]

here’s this figure that is vulnerable and easily abused and what’s admirable about it is that it doesn’t fight back and it doesn’t try to defend itself and it’s suffering is noble because it just sits there and takes it. pain is beautiful when you surrender to pain, suffering is godly when you don’t question or try to protect yourself and survival is ugly… like it is just me or is anybody else’s fucking skin crawling rn!!

[allthingswhumpyandangsty]

fandoms would be a lot more peaceful if more people told themselves “okay but it’s fiction and it doesn’t affect me or anybody in real life in any way, shape or form, and I can just block, mute, scroll past it as I please” every time they saw something they didn’t like on the internet

[local-lesbian-tree-demon]

they should invent a body that feels normal to be inside of

[eptck]

you have to be kinder to people with memory issues.

you have to be kinder to people who are slow processors.

you have to be kinder to people who don't understand your jokes.

you have to be kinder to people who forget important dates.

you have to be kinder to people with cognitive decline.

you have to be kinder to people who were always this way, too.

you have to be kind. you have to be kind.

[genderkoolaid]

Because I was now a man, I could not speak about what it was like to be a woman. Because I had been a woman, I could never really speak about what it was like to be a man. Do the math: I could not speak. It was a double erasure, a double bind, in which every experience I had was false, and so nothing I said was credible. I could no longer derive authority from my experiences before transition, and shouldn’t even cite them — I had never “really” been a woman, so those things hadn’t happened — but those experiences could always be weaponized against me to prove I wasn’t “really” the man I claimed to be. They call it erasure, when this happens. I wasn’t prepared for how literal the term was. Every day, I could feel myself disappear.

— Eraserhead: On writer's block and being a gender traitor by Jude Doyle

[unhinged-transmasc-man]

There are many good paragraphs but this stuck out the most:

"If “man” and “woman” are opposed and mutually exclusive categories, if men can only ever be predators and women can only ever be prey, then trans men can’t exist. We are logically impossible under the terms of the current system. You either “treat us like men” by voiding out half our lives, or you write us back into womanhood by denying our male identities. I knew all that, at least in theory, but when I came out, I actually saw my life story disappearing into other people’s blind spots. I watched myself become unthinkable in real time."

Also these:

"This wasn’t about accountability. This was people tactically forgetting my entire life,including incidents from my life they had personally witnessed or been involved in, so that they could shame me for transitioning. It was bad for me to be a man; if I was a man, I was a bad man, I was all the worst things men are. I was hulking, I was threatening, I was predatory, I was violent."

"I was treated as both genders, but only the most monstrous stereotype of each one."

Because that is exactly it. Anti-transmasculinity is being both erased and vilified, and then gaslit out of speaking about those experiences by the people who are erasing and vilifying you.

[sparrowhawkandco]

This resonated:

"The idea that I had always occupied a privileged position within patriarchy was, frankly, untrue; nor did it seem to me that a trans person was any less gender-marginalized than your average cis woman. What privilege I had was conditional, and these books were no guide. Men who wanted to “forge a positive masculinity” (and everyone was very clear that I needed one of those) were encouraged to get in touch with their “feminine sides.” Maybe that was healthy for cis guys, but I had been forced to do feminine things, and present in feminine ways, for the entirety of my young life. Whatever liberation I had achieved came from giving myself permission to stop."

As did the ending:

"When I write these days, I try to remind myself that whatever I’m afraid of saying is already true, and denial will not change it. I remind myself that the wrong people benefit from my silence, and will use it to write a version of my life I can’t recognize, or just write me out of the world. There is no established story or role for me; I belong to a category the world is still learning to imagine. I cannot account for the world as other people imagine it. I cannot give you every man’s story, every trans man’s story, every trans person’s story; I don't know them. What I do know is that every new story helps map the territory. All I can do for you, from where I'm standing, is tell you how things are." 

[kirbyfigure]

pongebob

[hanniballecters]

You still think it's beautiful and sweet to die for your country, don't you? We used to think you knew. But the first bombardment taught us better. It's dirty and painful to die for your country. When it comes to dying for your country, it's better not to die at all.

All Quiet on the Western Front (1930), dir. Lewis Milestone

[sugarwhitedwarf]

[scramratz]

“If men could get pregnant, abortion would be free” men CAN get pregnant and they’re treated worse than women who can get pregnant

[scramratz]

oh folks really don't like being asked to consider trans men

[cryptotheism]

If staff reformed the ban system to stop banning trans women and used the resulting good will to re-introduce pornography, this site would become a juggernaut. It would swallow Twitter whole.