slushie whore

🖤all/any pronouns🖤 🪼not pro anything. get help asap if you can. sheerio active jun🪼

[caffeinated-cold-handss]

about me !! this blog is centered mostly in talking abt my disorder and the thoughts that come along with it but i want to make it clear that i am 100% PRO RECOVERY. while i may not be ready for that step myself, i fully support those who are making that leap and wish them the best <3 i am fully against “pr0 4n4” i think it’s disgusting and totally against the point of my blog, i want everyone to be able to recover some day. genuinely dni if you post “me4nsp0” or tips for beginners, or if you are a “coach” - you’re fucking disgusting at best and a predator at worst. Please also stay away if you post “fatsp0”, whether it’s real or ai—you are a cruel bully, and your disorder is no excuse for belittling others. this is my second blog as my first got clapped a while ago under the url caffeinated-cold-hands (difference now is an “s” lol). I can’t believe I have to say this now but dni if you have a kink for hiccups either. I’m suffering from a neurological condition, not content for your fetish. if you’re looking through my blog just imagine that you’ve stumbled across the diary of a 12 year old that just learned what depression is and fully believes they’re a twisted fucking cycle path bc honestly that’s the best that i’ve got at this point lmao. if you want any of my other socials message me !! i love this community sm i’d hate to lose y’all again lol. info abt me :

you can call me caf, or whatever you want tbh. just make it clear you mean me lol

20s

lgbtq+

i use all pronouns so whatever fits works :p

alongside my various neurological issues (see caf has a headache again) I have hypermobile ehlers danlos and am in constant pain <3

i’ve started marking all my personal medical diatribes and laments under cafcorpse which also includes those tagged for headaches bc while my health problems do largely stem from a few neurological issues I don’t want to associate every thought or bit of info with a headache if one doesn’t exist to go with the thought (idc if I’m over-explaining it I need this to make sense to me later lol)

i’m going on 12 years with this disorder and she’s the most constant relationship i’ve ever had🥴✌️

lip oil/lip balm/lip gloss whore😼

i don’t post pics of me or weight stats (i left that with my old blog i don’t do it anymore)

i am a bio major !! i love responding to posts abt health, medicine, and vitamins so pls ask away it’s more fun than doing my chem homework

i write my own posts under the tag cafcore. please don’t mix tags with that, it’s how i find and identify my own posts ed related or not

i reblog recipes and food things i find interesting under the tag cafcore resippy so if you want to avoid that kind of content that’s the tag to blacklist <3

i tag health, medical, and nutrition info under the tag caf studies biology so if you’re interested in learning a bit abt health and the body check there - i do occasionally just talk shit abt my classes but I try to stay focused caf studies poorly

sometimes I do get fed up with crap on my feed and feel I have no choice but to rb harmful crap with a rebuttal as a response - I try to tag these as cafrbs alongside everything else I reblog with any of my own comments, but also my biology tag. Always feel free to add your own info to these, but it’s esp helpful with a source🫶

that’s abt it !! i try to be friendly but i have rbf and notifs off so if you send me a message and i’m not responding i promise i’m not ignoring you i’m just a dumbass💕

[scooplery]

"it's just growing pains" -> "you're too young for that to hurt that bad" -> "you just need to get in better shape" -> "welcome to being old, everyone is in pain"

[deactivated-blog]

Remember when you had energy to do things? Those were some wild times

[charl0ttan]

long distance friends pets feel like celebrities because you can only be parasocial with them

[caffeinated-cold-handss]

I had a cat scan earlier this week to follow up on the brain surgery I had last year and I’ve read through the radiologist’s report but haven’t heard back from anyone on my neurology team yet and I can’t help but feel that this is the start of another sharp decline. The report said the area they stented looked wide open which is good but they also said that more of my veins were narrowing beneath that stent, and that my left jugular seemed to be completely blocked off. If it’s really blocked off like that, then I’m just back at square one, and will have had 2 strokes within a year. There’s also no telling how much more narrowing is going on in the rest of my body.

It’s not even plaque building up on my arteries and veins, and it’s definitely not clots getting stuck either bc I’ve been on blood thinners since and shortly before the surgery to make sure scar tissue didn’t form inside the veins; my skull pressure is just so abnormally high that it’s crushing them. I can tell it’s definitely getting worse though. For about a week now two fingers on my left hand have felt like static and incredibly sore, alongside the forearm muscle that controls them as if the tissue is dying from starvation.

It’s raining now which decreases the atmospheric pressure and forces my skulls internal pressure to rise to compensate and it’s killing me. I can’t help but wonder if the next thunderstorm will raise the pressure too high and be my last.

[caffeinated-cold-handss]

Hello to the lovely Mr. Totis!! Such a distinguished gentleman, he’s so cute and his brow whiskers make him look so utterly floored I love him 🫶🫶

[kristina100000]

this one is for all my babygirls. i see your comments ladies, and they make me smile. im lurking and im stalking when you least expect it but lately i've just been taking care of my business and getting my grind on. but i promise you i will get back to play and get my flirt on.

[caffeinated-cold-handss]

[baraphalloplastyclinic]

I actually do think we should discourage women from becoming housewives. Do not become financially dependent on a man. That's how a lot of women ended up dead over the years. A man gets violent suddenly and you have to choose between homelessness or potentially dying at his hand because you have an enormous gap in your resume and no degrees or certifications or anything that will help you pursue a career that will allow you to be financially independent. He owns your bank account. His name is probably the one on the car. Try and leave and he can report it stolen. Where will you go then?

Don't become a housewife.

[ladyfoxfire]

And if you do become a housewife, take steps to protect yourself. Make sure you’re legally married, for starters; stay-at-home girlfriends have very little legal recourse to claim their partner’s assets in a breakup. Make sure your name is on the house deed/rental agreement, and have your car in your name, even if your spouse is paying for it. Have your spouse transfer money every month into an account solely in your name, so you can buy yourself things without needing permission, but also so you can save up to leave if needed.

If your spouse fights you on any of this, then don’t quit your job. The tradwife to poverty pipeline is real, and so is financial abuse.

[dressedupliketheking]

also, many women/people experience controlling behaviour and domestic violence from their partner for the first time during pregnancy. don’t risk thinking “he’s just stressed, it’ll get better when the baby comes” because it won’t. neither you and your child will ever be safe with that man. get out as early and safely as you can

[bbnotumbl]

[uncertainlys]

MY FINGERS BARELY EVEN TOUCHED YOUR STUPID FUCKING AD STOP REDIRECTING ME TO THE APP STORE

[virginshane]

LET ME SCROLL I DON’T WANT TO MOVE THINGS IN YOUR STUPID GAME

[fairycosmos]

fucked that you can’t fix other people especially when you really care about them. Oh so im just supposed to be there for you while you suffer. like a useless cunt gargoyle

[curioscurio]

ads these days are so sensitive to being tapped like darling my fingers barely brushed you and youre already opening yourself for me... well close those damn legs. dont make me get the taser

[transtarks]

reblog this and put in the tags at least two (2) songs you are listening to on repeat right now

[remanence-of-love]

[fuzzytalescomics]

Ocd 🤝 psychosis struggles

[44-axyer-44]

NOTICE FOR PSYCHOTIC PEOPLES LIKE ME AND THE NEW TOMODACHI LIFE: Please please pretty pretty please be careful while playing Living the Dream, esp if you’re currently unmedicated!!!

The game treats the Miis like they’re real people and makes zero mention ever that they are not, and only ever refers to them and their POV as if they are real and you are their caretaker! While playing this honestly messed with my head pretty badly at times and made me worry a lot on if I was hurting real people/not doing enough for real people while I was playing!

I cannot imagine how much worse this would be for someone who’s unmedicated, non-dormant, or experiencing breakthrough symptoms! Do please be careful and PLEASE remember to have a way to reality check yourself while playing the game!!!

Also: If you’re not psychotic, please reblog this anyway!!! It may not seem like a big deal to you but these kinds of things are REALLY important to know for us psychotic folk in a world that is both hostile and negligent to us and our needs!!!

[caffeinated-cold-handss]

My best friend posted her graduation robes this morning and that alone already made my heart ache so much, but her choice of caption was a gut punch.

Oh nothing, just looking at what I’ve been working for…

And god, I’m so proud of her, but it also hurts so much to know that she’s moving on without me and that all of my friends are doing the same earning their degrees while I can only fake so much progress before the abyss swallows me whole or my health collapses from under me again. I know I’m not being fair to myself by placing so much blame on myself for health problems I’ve had since childhood that went untreated and unnoticed, but I can’t help believing that maybe the false tumor was my fault. Maybe the developing eye damage is my fault. Maybe the stroke that prevented blood from properly draining back out of my head and consequently starved half my brain of oxygen was my doing.

How can I catch back up anywhere near my peers when I trip at every hurdle and they seemingly have none?