caffeinatedautistic

my main blog: wifemomartist • IMPORTANT: I will answer asks publicly unless you specify otherwise. I do not claim to speak for all autistic people; this is mainly a "this is what it's like to be me" blog that will hopefully help others understand what it's like for someone on the spectrum. I do my best to make it clear that we all experience autism differently. please feel free to ask me things! • ❤️

[fuckyeahvalidation]

Just a reminder

If you’re autistic, no matter who you are, you are awesome!

[positivelyautistic]

[infiniteglitterfall]

I desperately want to write a book called “everything I need to know about autism I learned on Tumblr.” Because I know so many people who know they’re probably autistic, or are questioning, and don’t really have access to more info, or have gone along for ages knowing they’re autistic but don’t know about stimming or special interests or whatever. Or they have kids who are autistic and they don’t have a way to relate to that.

I want to know what other people would want to see in a book like that. I’m picturing the “autistic sundae bar” explanation, personal stories about different experiences of being autistic, maybe those “undiagnosed autistic feels” types of anecdotes, info about what stimming is, info about the overlap between autism and ADHD, other “autistic cousins,” what shutdowns and meltdowns are like and how to prevent them, uhhh what else, different kinds of echolalia, stories from nonspeaking autistics, info about other communication methods, why ABA is harmful, things people say actually help and what they help with, and how to relate to your autistic child? Also is there already something that covers most of this from the perspective of actually autistic people?

[bizexuals]

tbh a section like “is this an autism thing?” where, FAQ style, you can list common traits that (so often) pass as other things/quirks in a less formal style than diagnoses

for instance, how i’m especially repulsed by mushy fruits, that ought to be crisp (i.e.: soft apples)

or how i only learned to process emotions through partially matching them up to descriptions i’ve read in books, and then usually after i’ve had them

stuff that is reassuring & provides examples of all varieties of experience/intensities–often people point out the Most Extreme or “Debilitating” examples & that leaves other expressions of those traits either undiagnosed, or like me, thinking “yeah, but nts feel that way too”

[neurodeervergent]

Super short thought I need to get out of my head to get back into studying but feel free to comment on it

I think NTs don’t have the same understanding of this “I have to”-feeling.

Especially people with late diagnoses or “invisible” illnesses or disabilities might agree that we often force ourselves to do things just because it’s expected of us, and while we /technically/ can do it if we try, we know we will probably regret doing it later (shutdowns, exhaustion, pain etc) It’s difficult to say “I don’t want to do this” because we’re very used to catering to expectations for no other reason than thinking “I have to do this, I’m supposed to do this” I don’t know if everyone feels that way, but most of my life, I’ve been doing many many things just because “that’s what people do, therefore I must do it too”. I often don’t even question these things, it’s like an obligation. “I must do this. People just do this.” And then people ask me why, and I say exactly this: “you just do it, it’s a thing, people just do it”

[wilnebula]

Also feeling like a burden if you can’t do it is a thing? I have in fact, because of this kind of thought pattern of “I have push through it”, “I have to do it” ect done this with sports for example and also other physical and emotional things. And it never ends well.

One example would be me breaking my arm while skiing because “I need to keep going, my friend wants to keep skiing and I can’t be a hinderance, I can not show weakness like this…” Another me going to the doctor way to fucking late, because “I don’t actually have a problem, I’m just making it up/exaggerating, Why no other people keep going with way worse issues…”  (I ended up in the hospital instead of getting my fairly common coughing thing illness treated in time.)

So. @parents honestly get your shit together and listen to your children when they say that they can’t keep going or that something causes them pain. Keep the line of commmunication open and take your children seriously. For fuckssake it’s not that hard, is it?

[neurodeervergent]

I think what makes this pressure to succeed even worse for many of us is that we beat ourselves up over it. It’s not just parents and teachers who we disappoint, it’s ourselves too. I know many of us struggle with self-esteem and - I think I read it somewhere - especially autistics are majorly motivated by fear, anxiety and guilt. I know for certain I am.

[caffeinatedautistic-blog]

I'm 30 and I still have this. I didn't get diagnosed with ASD til age 28 (but I've openly dealt w anxiety and depression since my teens), but since I was a kid I've always felt that pressure to keep up w everyone else - physically, academically, socially, etc - regardless of what was going on with me, and despite the toll it's always taken on me. it takes a lot of work to undo that tape in your head that insists you try harder.

[spongebob-autisticquestions]

If you know an autistic person doesn’t like a routine change, but you knowingly change it

If you know an autistic person doesn’t like social events (like parties), but you force them to attend

If you know an autistic person with a special interest, and you try to discourage it

If you know an autistic person who is happy stimming, and you tell them to stop because it “looks weird”

If you know an autistic person who goes through sensory overload, and you make that happen

Don’t yell at us or complain if we happen to react in a way you don’t like

[artificial-boy]

if you’re autistic and you can’t work, you’re amazing and beautiful and valid and so strong. if you’re autistic and you work a minimum wage, part time job, you’re amazing and beautiful and valid and so strong. if you’re autistic and you work a full time job, you’re amazing and beautiful and valid and so strong. if you’re autistic and you work a job that requires a degree, or a couple of degrees, you’re amazing and beautiful and valid and so strong. if you’re autistic, no matter how much you can or can’t work, you’re amazing and beautiful and valid and so strong. and i love you.

[thatautismfeel]

that autism feel when most of the time you’re OK with spontaineality, but if you get it fixed in your head that you’ll be doing something specific (even as simple as what exactly is for dinner) and then it changes suddenly and without warning it sets the ball rolling for a screaming meltdown, especially if you’d started looking forward to it/planning for it

[spongebob-autisticquestions]

Things Not To Do Or Say When Someone Tells You They’re Autistic

Apologise - Don’t say “I’m sorry”. I know it’s well intentioned, but there’s nothing to apologise for. Apologising can mean to us, “It’s not good that you have this disorder”

“But you don’t look autistic” - You may have good intentions again, but it’s a very ignorant comment to make. Autism is a wide spectrum and there’s no “autistic look”

“You mean like (insert famous movie character)?” - More often than not these characters are never said to be autistic, only speculated. Even so, the traits are very exaggerated, and are often not an accurate portrayal of autism

“So does that mean you (insert autistic stereotype)?” - This can range from asking them if they’re a maths or science genius to asking if they can’t understand emotions

Talking down to them - You know this person, they’re still the same person they were previously. Don’t start talking down to them or assuming they can’t understand as much

[cranberrycapers]

6. “Oh you must be very high functioning!” Don’t assume to know how autism affects someone’s life.

[autistic-people-are-awesome]

Hi, what are raptor hands and what does it look like? I heard that it's related to a lot of autistic people and am curious.

Raptor hands? hmmmm I don’t think I have ever heard of this?

I know many autistic people, espicailly autistic children have kind of weird body movements like flapping, walking on the balls of their feet and sometimes to minimize sensory overload form very sensitive hands they tuck their hands in to avoid touching anything, maybe that is raptor hands?

hmmm anyone else care to chime in here?

[caffeinatedautistic-blog]

Just last night that term "raptor hands" popped into my head bc I tend to sleep that way too, and I thought "wouldn't 'T. Rex arms' be more accurate..?" but then I went to bed :)

but yes. I am one of the many autistics with raptor hands, T. Rex arms, whatever the term is to describe always having your arms drawn up against your solar plexus, your hands kind of fidgeting together. I always carry a water bottle or coffee thermos to sort of camouflage it :)

[caffeinatedautistic-blog]

my SSI hearing is finally scheduled 😱 March 21 is the big day. I'm super nervous bc I feel like if I don't do a good enough job explaining my disabilities then they won't approve me for benefits. I have a lawyer and they're supposed to be in touch w me over the next few weeks to prepare, but I feel totally.. well, unprepared. I've heard the hearings are somewhat quick - 20-30 minutes, and you just have to describe how your disability prevents you from working. but I'm just worried that I'll mess it up somehow. has anyone else been through this process? any advice??

[caffeinatedautistic-blog]

these are always fun

Tagged by: @elvelyn Rules: Answer the questions in a new post and tag 20 blogs you would like to get to know better Nickname: I don't really have one. Star Sign: Taurus. Height: 5'9" Time right now: 5:31 pm. Favorite Musical Artist: I can't choose just one. Song stuck in your head: Sorry, by Beyoncé. Last Movie Watched: the remake of Hairspray. Last TV show watched: Seinfeld. What are you wearing right now: Blue jeans, Marvel sweater. When Did You Create Your Blog: Not sure. Do You Get Asks Regularly: Occasionally. Why Did You Choose Your URL: I drink coffee all the time. Then I found out someone else already has this online handle and I felt really bad that I chose it. Hogwarts House: I'd like to say Gryffindor but I don't know if I'm brave enough. Gender: Female. Pokemon Team: That's not really my thing. Favorite Color: Blue. Average Hours of Sleep: I try to get 8. Dream Job: Photography. Cutest Baby Animals: Kittens! I know, kinda unoriginal but hey. They're super cute. :) Tagged: I can’t think of 20 blogs - if you're reading this then I tag you! :)

[caffeinatedautistic-blog]

so I finally got so frustrated with that thing I do where I say one word but I meant to say another, I went online and looked til I found what seems like the term for it https://www.google.com/amp/thechart.blogs.cnn.com/2010/06/24/why-am-i-mixing-up-my-words-is-this-a-learning-disability-or-something-worse/amp/?client=safari hopefully that link works - I hope it does bc it describes exactly what happens with me - but it sounds like it's called semantic paraphasia. I'm mostly concerned that it will worsen over time, bc I don't think I've always had this issue, yet I've noticed it happening more often over the past couple years. nothing too ridiculous, maybe several times a month in average, but not more than a few times a week. does anyone else have this? could it be stress related? is it just another "symptom" of how my brain works? can I do anything about it? answers / input welcome :)

[orangememesicle]

I want people to be less afraid of autism.

Autistic kids need to be taught that they aren’t broken. Verbal or nonverbal, they can live happy lives and experience everything at the same capacity as everyone else. Autistic kids need to know this so that they don’t grow up into self hating adults, adults who grow up hating themselves for being a burden on their families or on society. 

I want autistic kids that aren’t afraid of themselves.

I want therapy that can teach autistic kids to be the best autistic kids they can be. I want nonverbal autistics to find a way to communicate in a way that’s comfortable for them. I want autistics to learn how to advocate for themselves and I want them to learn to love themselves and show themselves instead of repressing who they are. 

Parents of autistic kids need to be taught that their kid can live a fulfilling and happy life, because the current media representation of autistics is so bleak. The panicking, the feeling that they’ve somehow “lost” a child, is something that can be prevented with education and support. They need to see autistic adults on different ends of the spectrum, doing well and having fulfilling lives even if they aren’t fitting the neurotypical version of happy. I want parents that aren’t afraid of their children. want the anti-vaccine movement to be shut down, both for its poor science and for its ableist attitudes. I want children to survive deadly diseases instead of endangered by the fear of becoming like us.

I want autistic people to be more than “empty shells”, “changelings”, “stolen”, “missing”, “broken”. I want people to stop seeing murders as “justifiable” because they’re so, so afraid of disabled people.

Most of all, I want autistics to be seen as people.

I want a world that’s different from the one we grew up in, where neuroatypical children have the chance to be themselves without fear.

[autistics-world]

To You Highly Sensitive Autistics

If someone gets mad at you about anything, don’t be hard on yourself. It causes unnecessary anxiety. Sometimes it’s more about the person who critiques you than yourself.

[otipemisiwak-archive]

I learned early that the way I act socially is unacceptable. So I watch. I watch how people interact, how they talk, how they use their body language, how others respond to said body language. I change my personality based on how people I’m with act. I learned how to laugh at myself and the right way to respond to jokes. I learned how to read body language and understand sarcasm, but it took me a long time. I’m never fully relaxed with friends, I’m always waiting for them to tell me I’m annoying, that I need to change my personality.

What It’s Really Like To Be On The Autism Spectrum - By Maddy (via otipemisiwak)

[aspie-os]

[uniqueaspergirl]

Another Autism Feel #155

When every social situation feels like a job interview.