“are you?” sure, you could argue and say she didn’t know him well enough to directly state he wasn’t eating, but she felt the cain she did know, would have demolished everything he had just made. not just what he had put on his plate. in kinder words he was a foodie, he liked to eat. so this was a certain way for her to tell he was struggling. she could see he was growing uncomfortable, it’s the little shift she noticed, though was it with what they were talking about or her? she assumed the former. perhaps even a mixture of the two. she gets that panicky feelings of there being someone out there walking freely after killing somebody close to him, she gets it would impact him— it’s normal, but she can’t help but wonder if there’s more to it. especially with the child portion ( if even that ) he had eaten. she knows through assumptions alone, the little snippets he’s told her, the way he bolts out of bed in the middle of the night— his frantic murmurs when he actually does sleep, that he’s not dealing and it’s a thought that makes her think his trauma is somehow mixing with the events that had happened the other night. she could be wrong, but it’s what she’s thinking. she’s making an attempt not to frown, she knew he was damaged— it’s something that had made her want to help him, but she can see especially now, that he either didn’t want people to care for him, or he was just so used to shrugging it off to the point he no longer knew how it felt to be cared for. it was like it was a burden for someone else to actually take the time and ask him how he was. as if it wasn’t needed. “i’m not asking you to change the way you are,” she thinks eventually he might let his guard down, but she’s not asking him to change overnight, “and i get you’re used to dealing on your own– or in a way you think you are,” that’s a subtle nod to the fact that she didn’t think he was actually coping at all, “but whether you answer me or not, or just change the subject,” briefly she gave part a smile, it’s not a dig, it’s more an i know what you’ve been doing, “whichever it is, what i want is for you to realise that i care when i’m asking how you are— i know you do,” she says before he jumps to his defence, “and whether you meet me a quarter of the way or not, i want you to feel that i do.” there was a difference between knowing and feeling it and her caring wasn’t just because she was naturally a worrier. that was different. watching she lightly chuckled at him, more at him being mushy. “i know,” she appreciated it, “and i know this isn’t something you usually do, so it means a lot.” that he was trying, it really did. “because as silly as it sounds, being with you,” as in dating, being a couple, “makes me nervous.”
“yes, i am.” his brow raised, tone just a little firmer than the last, but still somehow solemn. he got her point, he wasn’t eating for three like he usually did and she wasn’t used to it, but it wasn’t uncommon. not when shit hit the fan and his head span sideways. he wouldn’t say it at all, but the fact he was eating anything at all was a step. food over whiskey, company over isolation, they were huge steps for him, even if she couldn’t understand that. “no, i know. but you--” he paused, just because he had to look just a little bit amused by the fact he quite nearly said what he was going to say without missing a beat. “you make me wanna be better.” playing it down with a gentle smile and a shrug as he tipped his eyes toward the swish of liquid inside the beer bottle. “i know you do, leyla. you are not the issue.” he’s still smiling, almost like one of those silent wise men that look much like they understand how the entire world works. he’d be fucked if someone ever put that to the test, however. “really? so i probably shouldn’t ask you officially if you wanna be my girlfriend then?” there’s a cheesy little smile on his features. everyone kept calling her his girlfriend, it seemed a little odd at this point he hadn’t actually asked. but he was curious, if not a little surprised... “why does being with me make you nervous?”
tangentwithtanner
stormborns
