Im a crack theorist

My Twitter https://x.com/brownies152797?s=21

[caitlinskelev]

This is how i envision judge Holden reacting to the community calling him gay

[wallacerus]

And then immediately after he ties glanton to his bed

[caitlinskelev]

This is how i envision judge Holden reacting to the community calling him gay

[sardonyxlestrange]

Some last minute birthday pictures. I’m soo not used to being in front of a legitimate camera lol, I’ve gotten used to phone cameras.

I hope the nervous awkwardness isn’t apparent in my face😬

[enchantedgoblins]

I JUST MADE SOME BULLSHITTT

The characters at the right are some of the Judge’s exes

@serenecruciblebasilisk Jecka is in there

Also if you want to, WATCH THE ERSATZ PILOT NOW 😈

[caitlinskelev]

The only character that corresponds to this is toadvine😭

[enchantedgoblins]

I JUST MADE SOME BULLSHITTT

The characters at the right are some of the Judge’s exes

@serenecruciblebasilisk Jecka is in there

Also if you want to, WATCH THE ERSATZ PILOT NOW 😈

[bmconfessions]

My favorite thing that happened in 1984 was when Anton Chigurh turned Judge Holden into a great soft jelly thing with no mouth that has to scream

(This is a joke)

And then they hit Gangnam Style

[foghorn2leghorn]

thr kid telling the judge to sybau before he can do his speech while everyone laughs in the background

He’s had enough

[caitlinskelev]

Toadvine 😭 I’m imagining the scenerio where this happenes and it gose to Holden looking at him like he was personally offended

Than the kid crashes out on Holden about how he feels about war and ends it with him leaving the Glanton gang

[caitlinskelev]

I like how 99% of the blood meridian community is just “bald fat man” and “I want to fuck that bald fat man or see him fuck his gang leader” and the rest is “I had horrific nightmares of that bald fat man” and than “I want to fuck one of the members of the Glanton gang”

[baalahsstuff]

That's like a curse

[caitlinskelev]

Honestly yeah it’s the biggest curse when it comes to being a fan.

[bmconfessions]

I hd that Judge is not afraid of anything but one very normal, ordinary item that seemingly can't hurt anyone. (He could be defeated with a sandwich)

Someone please draw this it would be beautiful

[caitlinskelev]

All I’m imagining is just the judge looking at a sandwich and Blows up like a nuke without even touching it.

[bmconfessions]

I have modern AU where Glanton's gang lives in one huge mansion/house and engages in any illegal activity from drugs to murder. Glanton of course leader, also he suffers from paying taxes and calculating utilities. Judge is his advisor, lawyer, and middleman. He brings in assignments and clients and helps the gang when things don't go according to plan. Doc Irving is both the gang's personal doctor (he does his job very bad) and responsible for the production of meth. Bathcat is surprisingly the only one who can drive a car properly, so he's something like a driver. The rest of the gang members are Brown brothers, Black Jackson, Tobin and Toadvine, they don't have any special role. Kid ended up among them because Toadvine literally found him on the street and decided that he needed to be taken into gang.

Is this okay or should I kms because of how bad this is or smth

Interesting concept. The BM fandom will decide your fate.

[caitlinskelev]

Bloody mafia it would be called😭

[bmconfessions]

There aren’t NEARLY enough Judge Holden crackships on this platform. Or anywhere, TBH. I want everyone to share theirs if they have them. (I’m not forcing anyone to do this, keep whatever you want private!)

I'll go first then, off the top of my head: The Judge and The King In Yellow. Because it would be funny.

[caitlinskelev]

Honestly judge Holden x joker maybe judge x Voldemort because I just know Voldemort would be so impressed by him 😭

[bmconfessions]

Any time I see a Judge Holden yumeshipper I’m like “I guess bro” because aren’t there ANY other characters? Good for them, but still.

There are, but people want Holden for...

...I don't actually know why. I think we need a study done on this.

[caitlinskelev]

People want judge Holden because he’s a bald fat tall man who has a good sense of poetry and charisma the fact he’s evil too makes it more damning he would have more simps if it weren’t for the fact hes so evil he’d commit the most heinous disgusting crimes on earth everyone would’ve loved him for it no matter what side of the law he’s on think about it we haven’t had a fat evil tyrant of a man in such a long time because everyone is more heavy on the strong and bulky but not the strong and fat the majority don’t like seeing the strong and fat so most of these people have to make due with the worst candidate because of the fact we don’t have much to work on and honestly I wish we just had more evil fat tyrants but only told as evil incarnate rather than so evil they do what the judge would do on a random Tuesday

[caitlinskelev]

I like how 99% of the blood meridian community is just “bald fat man” and “I want to fuck that bald fat man or see him fuck his gang leader” and the rest is “I had horrific nightmares of that bald fat man” and than “I want to fuck one of the members of the Glanton gang”

[holdenxbrutecanon]

@dumpstergoat хватить ТЫРИТЬ МОЮ ЛОШАДЬ

[mannypardopillow]

Big guy, reading big book

[caitlinskelev]

THIS IS LITERALLY THE FIRSTT THING I SEE ON TUMBLR TODAY😭

[mannypardopillow]

Big guy, reading big book

[caitlinskelev]

Why is it always that fat bastard terrorizing our dreams like he’s Freddy Krueger

[curses-another-blog]

honestly how it feels getting those bad dreams about Judge Holden

[caitlinskelev]

I haven’t had dreams of him in a while but he still terrorizes my thoughts from time to time and honestly I’m just glad he isn’t doing weird shit to me like the first dream I had of him.