My Kids
Part 2 of Show Me A Sign (but can be read as a standalone)
Summary: The 4th of July is always a hell of a shift but with a potential cyber attack, a waiting room filled with patients, and even more in the ED, Dana has a lot to take care of. With all the chaos, one of her kids will always come first.
Warnings: self-harm, relapse, mention of Frank's addition and stealing, Trinity needs a hug and gets that hug, Dana loves her kids, mention of past sexual abuse, mention of past abuse, mention of Pittfest
Relationship: Trinity x reader, Trinity x Dana (platonic), Dana x daughter!reader
Word Count: 3.2K
Dana liked to believe she knew her people well. Yes, she took some time off to recover from being physically assaulted and to help with your recovery, along with Trinity, Samara, Victoria, Mel, and Dennis. So it really wasn’t time off when she saw them at least once a week. Eventually, the itch to return overpowered her, and here she was commanding the ED as if she had never left.
Even with the break, she knew her people. She was watching Samara and Jack dance around their feelings with each other. Robbie, God bless him, was five seconds away from her mental breakdown, maybe three. There’s a new attending she had to learn. She liked Al-Hashimi. The woman was stubborn and desperately wanted to better a system that was equally stubborn. Frank was back, which was an odd thing to sit with, but she trusted whoever was in charge of that mess to make the right call.
Then there was Trinity, who was drowning in charge, the punching bag for Robbie’s bullshit, and getting into petty fights with Frank. She understood why, though, especially when the R2 cornered her and asked if she knew he was coming back. Of course, she didn’t. Today was her first day back in months, but she was doing her best to keep an eye on the girl without showing favoritism. Trinity made you happy, and that was all Dana wanted for her girls. So she was gonna look after your happiness when you couldn’t.
Which led to Dana’s second belief. She had really good fucking eyesight, even though she was pushing 60; nothing got past her. That was why she was staring at Trinity, who was standing by the emergency room cart. “Come on, kid,” she mumbled. “Don’t do anything stupid.” If anyone else were watching her, she would have gotten away with it. But it was Dana, and Dana knew and saw everything, even with her eyes closed. The movement was so subtle as Trinity grabbed a disposable scalpel and slid it into her scrub pocket.
Dana closed her eyes, exhaling slowly. When she opened them, Trinity was gone. Shit, double shit. Another shift from hell because of the potential cyber attack, and now her daughter’s partner was taking a scalpel to do God knows what with.
Maybe Benji was right; she should have waited another day.
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All she needed was a two-minute fucking break - from Al-Hashimi, who wasn’t breathing down her neck about charting, Robbie, who had to have a stick up his ass and where no one was looking at her like she was the villain for doing the right thing on her first fucking day, no less. It pissed her off that Langdon was allowed to come back to work. Because if it were her, Samira, or Cassie in his position, they would have been fired and their licenses revoked. But he was Robbie’s golden boy, so he had been given a slap on the wrist and welcomed back with open arms.
Sighing, she stood up from the toilet, flushed, and left the bathroom stall, where she wasn’t expecting to run into Dana. “Jesus Christ,” she yelled, placing her hand over her heart. “You scared the shit out of me, Mama D.” The charger wasn’t amused as Trinity walked around her to wash her hands. “I’m still waiting in labs for my patient in Bay Three.” She glanced at your mom through the mirror, who was staring at her intently, like she was trying to figure her out. It was unsettling. She grabbed paper towels, dried her hands, and turned around to come face-to-face with Dana, her hand outstretched.
“Give it to me,”such a simple sentence that turned her blood cold. There was no way Dana saw her take it. It was impossible. The charge was just fucking with her.
“You want a high five,” Trinity teased, but Dana remained standing. “Dana, I got charting I have to catch up on.” But the nurse refused to move.
“You have two options, kid. One, you give me that thing in your pocket that we both know is there.” Trinity’s stomach drops like she was on a roller coaster. “Or I call her, and you give it to her, your choice.” You were working today, still finding your footing after returning from your recovery. She couldn’t pull you away from that, but she couldn’t admit to your mom what was in her pocket.
“I don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about, Dana.” She walked past and bumped her shoulder against your mom’s. She wasn’t going far when Dana grabbed her wrist to stop her.
“Trinity, please.” Dana pleaded. That was Trinity’s undoing. The R2 turned around slowly and faced her. She was pleading, begging for Trinity to trust her. Her throat started to burn, but she went into her pocket to pull out the scalpel. She dropped it in Dana’s outstretched hand. “Thank you, baby.” The term of endearment shattered Trinity’s already fragile heart. Dana slipped the scalpel into her pocket. The nurse grabbed both of Trinity’s hands. “Did you use it?” She opened and closed her mouth like she was a fish out of water, but Dana was patient.
“No,” Trinity lied. She could still feel the sting of the two simple lines on both of her thighs. They rubbed against the fabric of scrub pants. Dana kept her face open, unguarded, as she looked at Trinity up and down. Dana stood in front of her with a soft look that Trinity had seen her give to you and your sisters. During family game night, while the three of you bickered over rules. When Elizabeth had her son on her hip. This look appeared when you went off on a tangent about a case. It was soft, warm, and so full of love that she had never received from her own mother.
“I,” she shook her head to stop herself from lying. “Yeah,” her voice shook, her throat burned, and her head started to pound from holding back tears. “Yeah,” she started again. “I wasn’t supposed to, because I promised her I stopped and would call if the noise got too much.” She couldn’t stop talking if she tried. Dana took it all well, kept her face unchanged, and gently rubbed her thumbs across Trinity’s hands. “But the noise is loud, and everything hurts, Mom.”
Now Dana’s face changed. It crumbled as Trinity let the tears fall, and she was quickly brought into Dana’s arms.
There was one thing Trinity hated more than anything, and that was crying. But crying in front of others, that was her 13th Theresa. She hated the vulnerability, the attention it brought to her. It made her skin crawl, happy tears, sad tears, and angry tears. She hated it all. She only cried in front of you twice, once on the anniversary of her best friend’s death. Every year, she requested it off, but she got called in and had to work on a really hard peds case that brought up too many memories.
The second time was more recent. After you were cleared from the hospital and back in your shared bed, she allowed herself to cry. You allowed her to lay her head on your chest, listening to the sound of her, of your heartbeat. She felt so stupid for crying against Dana, but she couldn’t bring herself to stop when she thought the tears had settled. Dana hugged her tighter, and more tears fell. Dana smelled of bad hospital coffee, nicotine, and vanilla, everything Trinity associated with home.
“Okay.” Dana pulled back slightly, cupping Trinity’s face in her hands. Trinity almost whined from the loss of warmth. “Okay, sweetheart. Here’s what we’re gonna do.” Dana’s thumb pushed away her tears. “We’re gonna go into the locker room, and I’m gonna make sure you’re okay.” Trinity opened her mouth to protest, but closed it when Dana gave her a look. “Do it for me, kid.” Dana placed a hand on her heart. “My heart isn’t as good as it used to be.” Well, Trinity couldn’t say no to that. She nodded her head. “Good.” Dana smiled, kissing Trinity’s forehead. “Come on.”
Luckily, they made it to the locker room without an issue, and it was empty because everyone was running around the ED. Dana grabbed a simple first aid kit. “Okay,” the nurse smiled. “Can you show me where they are?” Trinity hesitated. Her hands turned into fists at her side. She was desperately trying to ground herself.
She was standing in the locker room at the PITT, not in the locker room at her gymnasium, where she fell in love with and out of love with the sport. She wasn’t a little kid anymore. She was in control.
Sighing, she undid the tie of her scrubs and pulled them down to just below her knees. She sat on the bed before Dana could say anything. The charge nurse pulled over a chair and sat in front of Trinity. The R2 couldn’t look at her. She closed her eyes as she heard Dana put on the gloves. She tried not to flinch when the nurse’s hands touched her thighs. “They don’t need stitches.” Trinity knew that she knew the correct amount of pressure to feel the hurt without cutting too deep.
Her hands have been steady during chest compressions, IVs, and stitches given to little kids. They were also steady when she placed that scalpel to her skin. The slow hiss escaped past her lip as the disinfectant hit her skin. “Are you gonna report me?”Trinity opened her eyes at Dana’s sigh
“No, not going to help you.”
“Are you going to tell her?” Dana glanced up to see Trinity already watching her.
“I’m not gonna lie to her, but I won’t outright tell her.” Trinity nodded. That was good. That meant Trinity had time to come up with a story. “But,” Dana said slowly. “I wouldn’t keep this from her. That girl loves you, every part of you.” The last bandage was placed.
“I love her too.” Trinity pulled up her pants, not tying them yet, as she sat back down. “Uh, thanks, Dana.” The nurse smiled.
“Of course, you are one of my kids, okay? My job is to look after you and make sure you’re all right.” Tears started to swell in Trinity’s eyes. She was so tired of crying.
Then the door opened. “Mama, Trin.” Their heads snapped to look at your sudden appearance. Well, this is awkward.
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You stepped through the ambulance bay on your own two feet. It wasn’t the first time you walked in since Pit Fest. Mostly just to see Trinity and your friends. It sucked the wind out of your lungs. “Look at what the cat dragged in.” Donnie was the first to see you through the chaos. “How have you been?”
“Good.” You hugged the man. “A lot better than you guys here, I see.” Donnie huffed out a laugh. “Mercy is equally a mess.”
“Feel like I’m back in the Stone Age when your mom first became a nurse.” You punched him lightly in the stomach.
“I’m telling her you called her old.” He shrugged like he accepted his fate.
“See you around, sound bird.” he went back into the chaos with the ED. You looked around for your two favorite people, but couldn’t spot them. You figured they were working a case together. Sighing, you walked towards the big room when a voice stopped you.
“Hello, do you need help with something?” You turned around to see a woman with curly hair held back by a clip and a Lululemon jacket over her scrubs. She looked put together, but you could see the toll the day was having on her.
“No,” you remembered, Trinity texting you about a new attending starting today to cover Robbie’s sabbatical. “I’m looking for my mom, Dana Evans.” Realization dawned over the woman’s features, and her shoulders relaxed slightly. She nodded.
“You must be Songbird.” You had to stop yourself from rolling your eyes. “Dr. Robinavitch mentioned you in passing.” She held out her hand. “Baran Al-Hashimi.”
You introduced yourself and shook her hand. “How’s your first day?” You followed her to the nurses’ station, waving at Mel and Samira as you walked by.
“It’s been challenging. The potential cyber attack has not helped.” You nodded your agreement as your fingers tapped against the counter. You were getting anxious. There was still no sign of Trinity or your mom. “I saw your mom with Dr. Sanchez headed to the locker room.” She looked at you over the report, which she was reading.
It was a mix of feelings that raced through your chest, all of it masked with worry. Why were they in the locker room? “Thank you.” You smiled. “It is nice meeting you, Dr. Al-Hashimi. I look forward to seeing you again.” You meant it, especially since she was going to be your girlfriend’s new supervisor.
“Likewise.” You waved goodbye and headed to the locker room, squeezing Princess’s shoulder as you walked past. You swung the door open. The greeting stuck on your tongue as you saw the scene in front of you. Trinity was sitting on the bench with your mom in front of her. “Mama,Trin,” their head snapped like they were caught with their hands in the cookie jar. There was no hiding the discarded medical supplies and the dry tears on your girlfriend’s cheeks
“Are you okay?” You rushed over, looking for any signs of injuries.
“I’m fine,” Trinity gritted, which you had a hard time believing. You heard your mom cleaning up the discarded medical supplies.
“I’m going to check on your patients; take all the time you need.” Dana kissed the top of your head, but you weren’t paying attention to her, which you would apologize for later. Your attention was on your girlfriend, who refused to meet your gaze. You sat in the chair that had previously been occupied by your mom.
“What are you doing here?” Trinity asked.
“I had a half day. I’m not cleared for full shifts yet at Mercy.” Physically, you passed all tests, but you weren’t cleared on the psych level yet. Trinity nodded. “Can you tell me what happened, baby?” Your hand took hold of hers. She allowed it. Trinity’s jaw clenched. You could see the struggle she was facing.
There was no injury to her face or arms. That meant whatever Dana cleaned up was hidden. Without thinking, your eyes look at her thighs. Trinity watched you the entire time. “Baby,” you said softly. “Did you hurt yourself?” Trinity’s lips started to tremble, and all she could manage was a small nod. You almost missed it. Your heart shattered, but you had to focus. This wasn’t about you. This was about the girl who looked utterly destroyed. You’ve never seen her so small. Rationally, you knew she was safe. Your mom would have made sure of it. Still, you were terrified. “Okay,” you said.
Finally, Trinity locked eyes with you. “You aren’t mad?” You shook your head.
“No, baby, I’m not mad. I’m,” you sighed. “I’m sad you didn’t come to me. And today made you feel like you had to do this.”
“It’s been a really shitty day.”
“I know.” You pulled her into a hug, and she slumped against you. “I’ve got you. Everything is gonna be okay.” You let the hug go on as long as she needed it. Do you want to go home?”
“No,” Trinity said, ending the hug. “Today’s been a mess, and I can’t leave them short-staffed.” You glared at her. “Besides,” she said. “I can’t let them win.”
“Okay,” you pulled her to your feet and kissed her cheek. “Then I’m saying, too.”
“What? No, absolutely not.” You giggled at her reaction. “I’m not having you stay here in the break room.”
“Who said I’d be in the break room?” You tilted her head. “Looks like you guys could use some help out there.” You walked towards the door.
“No.” Trinity grabbed your hand. “You aren’t clear for full days of work.”
“Technically, it would be a half day at the PTMC, which I can work half shifts.” You smiled. “Besides, Gloria has been trying to poach me from Mercy since my R1 days.” Your girlfriend groaned, and her head hit the wall behind her.
“I’m not winning this, am I?”
“Nope.” You popped the ‘p’ for extra emphasis. “I love you, though.” Finally, Trinity smiled.
“I love you too.” And she kissed you. You’ve missed the feeling of her lips all day. “However, I’m not protecting you from your mom.” You laughed. The sound filled the quiet room, and Trinity’s smile only grew.
“I’ll handle my mama.”
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“What do you have for me, boss?” Dana looked up from the chart she was reading to you, a smile on her face that screamed trouble. You looked like you got away with something. Then her eyes flickered to the badge around her neck. It was a PTMC bag with a visiting doctor on it. She could see your name and picture on it. Dana frowned.
“Absolutely not.” Your smile remained.
“Gloria has already approved it.” Dana scoffed. Of course, she had. That woman had been trying to get you to work here since you started medical school.
“You’re only allowed to work half days.”
“Half days at Mercy,” you clarified. “Which I did, and now I’m working a half day here.” Dana narrowed her eyes at you, and you matched her glare. Dana faintly heard Princess and Perlah talking in a language she could not understand, but she knew it was about the standoff. “Besides, wouldn’t it be fun to work with your favorite daughter?” Dana rolled her eyes.
“I’m telling your sisters you said that.” She handed you the chart she was reading, giving in to a fight she knew she could not win.
“They’ll get over it.” You opened the chart and began to familiarize yourself with the case. Dana had to admit it was nice to see you in your element in the ED setting. She had seen you stressed about a case at the kitchen table or on the phone. You were at ease with the chaos around you.
“You realize she’s never going to give you back to Mercy.” You laughed.
“Heard from the grapevine that Samira is taking a position at the VA.” You said all this without looking up. “Garcia may have offered me the open spot.” Dana raised an eyebrow at you. The option to work at the PTMC was always there for you, but you wanted to pave your path without your last name giving you special privileges. Dana respected that.
“Are you thinking about accepting it?” You shrugged. Instead of looking at her, your eyes fell on Trinity. She was working a peds case with the kid who broke his arm.
“It wouldn’t be so bad to have all your kids under the same roof, right?” You looked at her.
“Get to work, Dr. Evans.”
“Right away, Nurse Evans.” And you walked to your patient. Dana laughed softly with a shake of her head. Yeah, she was pushing 60, with more work kids than biological, but she wouldn’t have it any other way.
