GOD. this scene. I just need to talk about this scene.
Chi Cheng takes a drunk Suo Wei to his home, not suo wei's room at the clinic, but his own personal sanctuary. He clearly wanted to spend the night with SW, not to sleep with him, but just to take care of him. He's so gentle with SW, taking off his shoes, kneeling down and talking so softly, asking if he's okay, if he's drunk.
and suo wei, even though he's quite drunk, isn't completely unaware of what's happening. he sees what chi cheng is doing for him, sees the care in his eyes and the gentleness of his actions, and he asks an honest, vulnerable question, "why are you so nice to me?" because for all his rough moods and brash manners and biting words, chi cheng has been nothing but nice to him till now, in so many ways.
and this time, when all his walls are lowered, and his guards aren't up anymore, suo wei's subconscious, his heart, that has already caught upto what his logical side isn't prepared to acknowledge yet- gives in. he grabs chi cheng by the front of his shirt and he initiates the kiss-
well, almost a kiss.... because of course, yue yue, with her perfectly infuriating timing, interrupts with a call.
when the call ends, chi cheng comes back to inform him that yue yue, his girlfriend, is coming over, and doesn't elaborate more. but suo wei gets the silent message- he needs to disappear before that happens. and the look that suo wei gives chi cheng is devastating.
that subtle mix of longing and betrayal, laced with anger and frustration and hurt- because while suo wei is mad at chi cheng, at this whole messy circumstance, he is mad at himself too- because just for once, he'd let himself be vulnerable, let himself indulge in this little moment, for just once, he thought he had chi cheng just to himself. and that's why the rude awakening hurts for him even more. (props to zi yu for nailing the heck out of this scene, this single look hit me like a punch to the gut)
he gets up to leave and chi cheng's face here. god. he knows he has hurt suo wei badly, even though suo wei never protests, never says a single word to stake his claim.
so he grabs suo wei for one last hug, before they have to part ways, and he says "I'll surely pay back, what I owe you."
and that's such an interesting choice of words, because he isn't talking about any monetary exchanges at all (because up until now, it was he who paid suo wei those absurd sums of money as part of their little games, gifted a shit ton of stuff to SW just to make him smile), but no. he's talking about the emotional debt that he owes- the debt of gratitude and respect and time that he owes suo wei- for all the times when his hands were tied by his family's expectations and he has had to blow off and sideline suo wei in favor of being at his girlfriend's side, at her beck and call.
and suo wei understands him, even if he's still hurting from it- from being cast aside yet again, being reminded that his and chi cheng's relationship- whatever convoluted, messy thing had grown between them over weeks- their feelings and emotions, was something to be hidden, something that will never be approved by chi cheng's family.
and then he leaves- still inebriated, stumbling in his steps, hurting and all alone, late in the night. and what's worse, chi cheng watches him leave, and for once, he's powerless to stop it.
this last shot of chi cheng is equally devastating, because he's framed behind the blinds of the window like the bars of a cage- and the metaphor is clear, that no matter how much chi cheng schemes and plans, he's still bound by his family's power, who are manipulating him at every step of the way, to get him to behave exactly how they want.
chi cheng was powerless to choose the boy he loved that night, and it was incredible to see the fallout of something seemingly so little and ordinary on the surface gut us all like a knife wound 😭
tangentwithtanner
prguitarman
izzy806
dededos
origamiaround
snowghoul
