Cal

writing

[calhidinginthesky]

She teared another page and threw it into the fire. The night was cold and the crackling of the fire grounded her as she thought.

She didn’t have anywhere to sleep. Except the ground. On the dirt. Dirty dirt. And it wasn’t like she thought she could really fall asleep anyway. She threw another piece of paper as she noticed the fire receding.

She was tired. And kinda sad. One second she had been arguing with her father and the next she was running from a fire. She still wasn’t sure what had happened. It was blurry and confusing in her memory, and no one else had been able to explain it to her, mainly because everyone was too busy dying. Or probably dying. She hadn’t really seen.

All she’d been able to see were figures of different shapes and sizes, and fire. She’d run as much as she could, her father screaming to her not to stop until she was far away from the city. She had had her biology book in her hand at the time, and it didn’t sadden her too much to watch it go up in flames.

It didn’t make any sense, why would anyone attack her city? They were a peaceful species. Humans were known for being all bark and no bite. They were one of the weakest species, and as far as she knew her race was keen on being on good terms with the other tribes for that same reason.

She hadn’t seen anyone die, but she didn’t doubt that some sort of massacre had happened. She had been too busy running, thinking that she had to escape, escape, don’t look back. You can look for other people later. Survive, run. Maybe if she had stopped she could have saved someone. Had anyone survived? If she had, then it was probable that someone else had managed to, as well. She hoped her family was alright.

Another page. The book was looking thinner, about half the size it had been, and she was still cold. She did her best to hug herself and keep the warmth of the fire, but she could still feel the wind on her back. She wished she’d thought of bringing a coat with her.

The silence was killing her. Her home was always noisy, music blasting somewhere, and people talking, both face to face or on the phone. Now, though, the only sounds around her where the crickets, wind, and fire. No voices. No one to talk to. No one to listen to.

She let her torso fall to the ground with a thud. She would have talked to herself, only to hear a voice, but she was still scared of someone hearing her. Someone not friendly.

She was far away from the city, and she was sure no one had followed her, but the paranoia was still there.

Tomorrow, though, she would go back and try to find someone else. She wouldn’t survive on her own for too long, so it was necessary for her to find other people. Maybe she’d been too scared and the attack hadn’t been as serious as she thought? Maybe the next day she would find her siblings repairing the house and they would scold her for giving them a fright. After all, if they had stayed and she was this far away, they would probably be scared of something happening to her. She was their little sister, after all.

Her shirt and her pants were both dirty from running all day, and from sitting down on the ground. And the fact that she was laying her torso on the dirt wasn’t helping, either, but she could wash her clothes once she got home.

Slowly, and filled with thoughts of seeing her family the next day, the girl fell asleep on the ground, in the clearing of a forest. The small fire beside her didn’t last long, and it only took some minutes after the girl’s breath had become still for it to burn out.

[calhidinginthesky]

Chords

One of the neighbours is playing the guitar. The sound reaches my ears through the open window, along with the chilly wind of the night. It’s raw, and full of mistakes, but I think it’s beautiful. I wonder who they are, and if they’re playing for themselves or for someone else. I think they have talent.

Suddenly, the music stops, and I’m kept waiting. I feel the weight of my eyes, heavy with sleep, and I’m tempted to go back to bed, but they continue playing after the short pause.

I imagine them writing down the accords, I’ve never heard this song before so it’s possible it might be original.  

They keep playing and pausing for a few minutes, until a break longer than the others makes me think that they’ve probably put down the guitar.

I roll in bed, and cover myself with my blanket as much as I can, with no intention to close the window in case they decide to keep playing.

As I’m finally falling asleep, I hear the distant chords again, and they lull me to a peaceful slumber.

[calhidinginthesky]

“ Hey, Sam.” Becky greeted as she caught up to her in the hallway, a big grin on her face.

“ Hello, Becky. How’s your day been?”

“ Ugh, it’s been suffocating. Tom and Tyler keep being so horribly oblivious and in love with each other. I wish they’d just start dating already.”

“ Wouldn’t it look bad for Tom, though? Since he’s on the football team and all. I’m not really knowledgeable on the subject, but I thought he has some kind of social pressure to be, uh, masculine, or something?” She didn’t feel like ‘masculine’ was the right word for it, but nothing else came to her mind.

“ True love doesn’t care about football, Sam.” The girl said, pushing up her glasses and trying to look smug. Sam snorted at her comment, and earned a smile from Becky.

[calhidinginthesky]

Aiko came out from their room after her afternoon nap, still half-asleep. The sky was already dark, so Melanie had started cooking dinner. She stared at her wife as she clumsily made her way towards her. Aiko was rubbing one of her eyes, and was only wearing one of Melanie’s oversized hoodies. She looked adorable, Melanie couldn’t help thinking. She felt like she was falling in love all over again. But then, she felt that way on most days.

“Don’t stare at me, Mel.” Her voice sounded lazy, and her words melted with one another. She finally reached Melanie and proceed to hug her, trying to make a pillow out of her chest.

Melanie couldn’t help chuckling. “You’re adorable.”. She placed her hand on her wife’s cheek, and lifted her face to look at her eyes.

“Did my heart love till now? Forswear it, sight! For I ne’er saw true beauty till this night.” Aiko’s face got red, and she quickly averted her gaze towards the floor of their kitchen.

“Don’t quote Shakespeare on me. That’s way too cheesy.”

“C’mon, Love. How am I supposed not to do it when you act like this?” She pulled her wife into her arms once again, and held her tight, smile never leaving her lips. “I love you.”

She felt the woman in her embrace bury her head below her neck, muttering an “I love you, too.”

[calhidinginthesky]

Sounds (Peace)

Who am I? Who am I to tell me who I am? Who am I to decide? Are decisions permanent, or can they be temporal?

I like sounds. Birds, on sunny mornings, waking up to the sun on my face, feeling good with myself because of the early hour. It’s sort of magical, how it lightens my room. Walking lazily to the kitchen, where I’ll just drink a glass of water and eat a fruit, if I can find one.

I like going to the park half a block from my house, and just listen to the people. I like to get lost in the garden just a little bit more far away than that park, and find that special spot in the middle where you can’t hear cars at all, where you’re surrounded by trees, and it’s even rare to see people. I like to hear birds singing there. I like to see them, to be close enough to touch them. I can caress a tree’s rough bark, or I can just sit and think. Time doesn’t matter. There’s no one to rush me. No one knows where I am, or where to look for me.

I like rain. Waking up to the sound of water, and seeing my room bathed in darkness although it’s morning. I like going to the balcony and seeing it. Listening. Waiting.

I like the wind. How it messes with my hair, as if encouraging me to get it shorter. It’s specially beautiful in autumn, where it carries dry leafs, which cover the ground from sight.

I love listening to my brother play his guitar, although it’s a rare occurrence. I like seeing him happy.

I like summer’s nights. Fresh wind on my face after a long, warm day. Stars in the sky, as if waiting for me to count them. Wanting to stay outside until sunrise, just to see something new. (because the sky is never the same. It’s that kind of rare consistent, that it doesn’t matter what happens, the sky will always be different, unique.)

I like being alone. Time doesn’t matter, again, and I don’t have to worry about myself. There’s no one looking. There’s no one listening. It brings a weird sort of peace.

Can I just sit here and be completely unproductive? Can I just sit here and listen, and see, and touch? Can I just sit here and be?

[calhidinginthesky]

So I was editing one of my stories and I wrote (dialogue) “We could adopt ourselves.” instead of “We could adopt HER ourselves.”.

Yes, Melanie. Go on. Adopt yourself, girl. I know you can do it. 

[calhidinginthesky]

“Sam always talks as if she were in a meeting with other world leaders or something, doesn’t she?” Haru commented.

“What do you mean by ‘others’? Are you implying that I am, indeed, a World Leader?” She tried to remain serious, but the smile tugging at her lips gave away her intentions to make a joke.

“It wouldn’t surprise me, at least. Whoever is okay with Sam being our World Leader raise your hand.” Said Matthew, as him and the two students raised their hands.

“My first action as the first World Leader in human history is to demote myself back to a mere student.”

“You’ll still be World Leader in our hearts.”

“Damn it.”

(Part of an scene from the story I’m writing at the moment! PM me if you want to read more)

[calhidinginthesky]

I’m currently writing a story, and I wanted to know if anyone would be interested in reading the first chapter. I’ve not yet decided on a lot of matters, so I’m mostly asking for feedback and advise. 

The story is about a 15/16-year old girl who’s lived in the foster care system her whole life. These experiences caused her to become very quiet, as that was what her foster parents told her to be. As a consequence, the other kids bullied her for “being different” and “never talking”. She grew up to be apathic, and she has never had anyone care about her.

When she enters High School, she hides in the library to avoid her classmates (who haven’t begun bullying her yet, but she’s sure it won’t take long). She meets the librarian there, who takes it upon herself to give this girl a safe place, and to help her. The story at first focuses on the progression of their relationship, but it soon moves on to other things like love and friends. 

It’s LGBT+ inclusive, as well. If anyone is interested on reading the first chapter or a preview of the story, please message me. I’d really appreciate feedback. I currently have about 60% of the story written (a little more than 100 A4 pages, which I am in the process of rewritting into the computer).